.:: WOMEN'S COLLEGE::.

These days ain't gonna come back.
*sigh

This incident happened long back when we do our "supposedly" higher studies; where most of the students are seen always high on alcohol , pot or skirt or shoes around the campus.
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I was doing my first love those days. She was all I had in my campus, while my friends did many others with good front-end and back-end.

After having a very good sleep in the first few hours in the climate controlled lab, I thought I would have a cup of hot coffee, before the next round of sleep.

I was having my coffee, my friend and campus politician came to me and said

"Dude!! Coming to some place ?"
When you are given an offer from someone in campus to go some place , you don't ask "WHERE". Consider him /her as a God send angel and take the nearest exit.

"When will we be back?" I wanted to make sure cuz, my mom insists that I eat my lunch on time ; she didn't say anything about the classes, so I was not having any regrets about bunking classes.

Me: How are we going?

Dev:On my scooter. [ He said that proudly..Very proudly]
Some families pass on their sacred things from generation to generation like ring, red undies, kidney stones, diabetes etc. I think he got this scooter that way. He always says to us "The engines are good."

Me:ON THIS?

Dev:Make fun of me, but not my scooter. Okay.

Me*sigh : Should I have to get a tetanus injection before I get on that. Ya know, I got plans with my life.

Dev: You are gonna be the luckiest guy in campus today.

Me:OH really! Lemme guess.....you got into some trouble and you are going to take me to mediate something, and they need someone to punch...Right?Am I a collateral or something? Tell me..

Dev: Hey!!! We are going to raise some serious fund for our campus magazine.




Muaahahahahahahaaha!!! Wow!! that means..loads of money we 'collect'. Loads of money we make "disappear". I love this..like I always loved this.

Now, I know why he called me for this mission.He wants a translator to translate from 100% natural Mallu language to 100% English. Like Daffy duck he too had pronoun trouble.
He later told me that,some times people don't understand his version of English,which is mostly spoken with vowels and he completes his sentences with gestures.

Vowels according to him/ Mallu [ You can hear these tones when you phone a mallu]

(A)Aaaaaa= Okay
(E)Eeeeeeeh?= Really? Is it? Eh? Without question mark it becomes a No.
(I and O)We mallus prefer to combine I and O making AYYYOOOO which is the sound what escapes from a mallu's mouth when a coconut falls on his head.
U= You.[*phew]

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We over took many school kids and parked cars and reached this "AWESOME" place.
This awesome place was like Wall mart of Hot Chicks. We saw the building that houses the chicks also commonly referred as ladies hostel. They had put their feathers of various colors and sizes for drying on the terrace and iron bar on windows.

Dude...This is the erogenous zone as Erich Segal has put it.[ Thanks to Dr.Erich Segal; for he invented this word in his awesome book "Doctors"]
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Me:We will park the scooter outside.

Dev:Oye!! This is an isolated area.What if someone jack it. Scooter jacking

Me: Who in his senses would do that?

Yes, like everyone who listens to me; he too listened and decided Not to Park the scooter outside the campus, but will drive it all the way INSIDE,to the Woman's College.

"NOOOO!!!" This is not at all a good idea.
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Event 1:

The gateway to the heaven opened. wow..wow..wow..wow wow!!
I have never seen so many chicks in one place before. This was the discovery channel of chicks. All different kinds of girls, living in harmony like in Jurassic park but not separated by electric fence though.All different sizes and shapes.

"Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba! Yii-hah!"

There were groups, of them.....soaking the sun under a banian tree.How we wished they were without baniyans.
*sigh

Even the scooter on which I was sitting felt like the magic carpet that is carrying me to the belly dancer concert in Aboodhabi deserts.
My eyeballs were getting tired after shifting angles and changing directions.I was feeling dizzy.

The girls were looking at us. They were locked on to 2 moving males, shamelessly cruising through their campus in a prehistoric scooter. Their eyes locked on to us as if controlled by a radar.
*gulp
You ever had this feeling "You are being watched." I had exactly the same feeling.That's when you stop looking at 'individual' chicks shamelessly.

The scooter suddenly started to spurt and cough like an old man seeing soo many girls at the same time and was going into a cardiac arrest.
Yes, The inevitable happened. The scooter died half way into the campus.
That means...err..we had to push it all the way in to the campus

The hot chicks giggled aloud in high pitch, acknowledging the fact that "Our Scooter" indeed is crapped up and they know it.

Me: I told you..I told you to keep the scooter outside.

Dev:What if someone took off on it?

Me:NOW!!!

As we pushed the Scooter.. We heard lots of awesome comments.

"Hey!! Need our hand?"
*gulp
We turned to see who was commenting.
"To push"..she said that with that..sooper sexy killer smile moving her hand in a "pushing gesture"

Innocent us.No?

Then, that group of girls decided to dedicate a song to us. They sang an old mallu song.

"Thallu thallu thallu thallu kannaasu vandi
Thallu thallu thallu thallu ee thallipoli vandi
Ee thalli poli vandi"

They formed a group and walked a few meteres behind us singing and clapping.
*sigh
There is nothing you can do in such situations ,cuz,

1)It is their campus

2)You are few hundred meters inside their campus

3)The compound walls are high.

4)The gate too is high and wont get opened up unless you show the visitors pass duly signed by the
principal.[Red tapes...red tapes]

5)You don't know the short cuts inside their campus.What if you run and end up in their canteen(*OUCH!!!!)

So...Smile...put a beeg smile on your face in such situations.

"Control..Uday!!! Control!!!!"-Nana Patekar
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Event 2:

We parked the scooter, near a sedan class car inside the campus.
some chicks, may be doing her economics commented "Communism and its effects in Kerala." and then "Theepetti undo saghave oru beedi edukkan" [ Rough Translation:" Will I get a beedi." ]
[ In places where there are communists it is said that Beedi and black tea forms staple diet of a hard core communist.]

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Event 3:

As we were walking through the corridor to reach their principal's office, Dev's mobile rang . The ring tone was a Rakhi Sawant Dance number.
Gwad!!
A girl who overheard awesome ring tone commented "oooohhhhhh...moooofail phone"
We had to dodge our way through sarcastic outbreaks.
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Event 4:

There was this girl, whom I considered, humble, down to earth, innocent, orthodox, very very well mannered etc etc. Whenever I happened to meet her at the mall , she always speak softly, looking down, whereby I was made to believe that she has a very down to earth personality.

"[BEEP]"
I looked up. Someone is calling my AWESOME nick name.

"Doi...[Beep]"
Who is that..who is that..my eyes scanned the horizon.

The same "down to earth girl," was showing her real color.She was standing in the middle of a group of spectacled females and was shouting my nick name, for all the world to hear.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
HOW can She?
*sigh
I made a new quote that day
"A girl in natural habitat will have all ground support"-Sorcerer

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Dev:Let them come to our place one day.

Me:Yeah and every Tom,[Beep] and Harry would, gather around them and would be ready to even carry them on their back.

Dev:We are not like them.We have to show hospitality.No?

Me:Yeah yeah!!Thank God!! We didn't end up in hospital as casualty.

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