Sunday, January 31, 2010

.:: WOMEN'S COLLEGE::.

These days ain't gonna come back.
*sigh

This incident happened long back when we do our "supposedly" higher studies; where most of the students are seen always high on alcohol , pot or skirt or shoes around the campus.
..
..

I was doing my first love those days. She was all I had in my campus, while my friends did many others with good front-end and back-end.

After having a very good sleep in the first few hours in the climate controlled lab, I thought I would have a cup of hot coffee, before the next round of sleep.

I was having my coffee, my friend and campus politician came to me and said

"Dude!! Coming to some place ?"
When you are given an offer from someone in campus to go some place , you don't ask "WHERE". Consider him /her as a God send angel and take the nearest exit.

"When will we be back?" I wanted to make sure cuz, my mom insists that I eat my lunch on time ; she didn't say anything about the classes, so I was not having any regrets about bunking classes.

Me: How are we going?

Dev:On my scooter.
[ He said that proudly..Very proudly]
Some families pass on their sacred things from generation to generation like ring, red undies, kidney stones, diabetes etc. I think he got this scooter that way. He always says to us "The engines are good."

Me:ON THIS?

Dev:Make fun of me, but not my scooter. Okay.


Me
*sigh : Should I have to get a tetanus injection before I get on that. Ya know, I got plans with my life.

Dev: You are gonna be the luckiest guy in campus today.


Me:OH really! Lemme guess.....you got into some trouble and you are going to take me to mediate something, and they need someone to punch...Right?Am I a collateral or something? Tell me..


Dev: Hey!!! We are going to raise some serious fund for our campus ma
gazine.




Muaahahahahahahaaha!!! Wow!! that means..loads of money we 'collect'. Loads of money we make "disappear". I love this..like I always loved this.

Now, I know why he called me for this mission.He wants a translator to translate from 100% natural Mallu language to 100% English. Like Daffy duck he too had pronoun trouble.
He later told me that,some times people don't understand his version of English,which is mostly spoken with vowels and he completes his sentences with gestures.

Vowels according to him/ Mallu [ You can hear these tones when you phone a mallu]

(A)Aaaaaa= Okay
(E)Eeeeeeeh?= Really? Is it? Eh? Without question mark it becomes a No.
(I and O)We mallus prefer to combine I and O making AYYYOOOO which is the sound what escapes from a mallu's mouth when a coconut falls on his head.
U= You.[*phew]

..
..

We over took many school kids and parked cars and reached this "AWESOME" place.
This awesome place was like Wall mart of Hot Chicks. We saw the building that houses the chicks also commonly referred as ladies hostel. They had put their feathers of various colors and sizes for drying on the terrace and iron bar on windows.

Dude...This is the erogenous zone as Erich Segal has put it.[ Thanks to Dr.Erich Segal; for he invented this word in his awesome book "Doctors"]
..
..

Me:We will park the scooter outside.

Dev:Oye!! This is an isolated area.What if someone jack it. Scooter jacking

Me: Who in his senses would do that?

Yes, like everyone who listens to me; he too listened and decided Not to Park the scooter outside the campus, but will drive it all the way INSIDE,to the Woman's College.

"NOOOO!!!" This is not at all a good idea.
..
..
Event 1:

The gateway to the heaven opened. wow..wow..wow..wow wow!!
I have never seen so many chicks in one place before. This was the discovery channel of chicks. All different kinds of girls, living in harmony like in Jurassic park but not separated by electric fence though.All different sizes and shapes.

"Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba! Yii-hah!"

There were groups, of them.....soaking the sun under a banian tree.How we wished they were without baniyans.
*sigh

Even the scooter on which I was sitting felt like the magic carpet that is carrying me to the belly dancer concert in Aboodhabi deserts.
My eyeballs were getting tired after shifting angles and changing directions.I was feeling dizzy.

The girls were looking at us. They were locked on to 2 moving males, shamelessly cruising through their campus in a prehistoric scooter. Their eyes locked on to us as if controlled by a radar.
*gulp

You ever had this feeling "You are being watched." I had exactly the same feeling.That's when you stop looking at 'individual' chicks shamelessly.

The scooter suddenly started to spurt and cough like an old man seeing soo many girls at the same time and was going into a cardiac arrest.
Yes, The inevitable happened. The scooter died half way into the campus.
That means...err..we had to push it all the way in to the campus

The hot chicks giggled aloud in high pitch, acknowledging the fact that "Our Scooter" indeed is crapped up and they know it.

Me: I told you..I told you to keep the scooter outside.

Dev:What if someone took off on it?

Me:NOW!!!

As we pushed the Scooter.. We heard lots of awesome comments.

"Hey!! Need our hand?"
*gulp
We turned to see who was commenting.
"To push"..she said that with that..sooper sexy killer smile moving her hand in a "pushing gesture"

Innocent us.No?

Then, that group of girls decided to dedicate a song to us. They sang an old mallu song.

"Thallu thallu thallu thallu kannaasu vandi
Thallu thallu thallu thallu ee thallipoli vandi
Ee thalli poli vandi"

They formed a group and walked a few meteres behind us singing and clapping.
*sigh
There is nothing you can do in such situations ,cuz,

1)It is their campus

2)You are few hundred meters inside their campus

3)The compound walls are high.

4)The gate too is high and wont get opened up unless you show the visitors pass duly signed by the
principal.[Red tapes...red tapes]

5)You don't know the short cuts inside their campus.What if you run and end up in their canteen(*OUCH!!!!)

So...Smile...put a beeg smile on your face in such situations.

"Control..Uday!!! Control!!!!"-Nana Patekar
..
..
Event 2:

We parked the scooter, near a sedan class car inside the campus.
some chicks, may be doing her economics commented "Communism and its effects in Kerala." and then "Theepetti undo saghave oru beedi edukkan" [ Rough Translation:" Will I get a beedi." ]
[ In places where there are communists it is said that Beedi and black tea forms staple diet of a hard core communist.]

..
..

Event 3:

As we were walking through the corridor to reach their principal's office, Dev's mobile rang . The ring tone was a Rakhi Sawant Dance number.
Gwad!!
A girl who overheard awesome ring tone commented "oooohhhhhh...moooofail phone"
We had to dodge our way through sarcastic outbreaks.
..
..

Event 4:

There was this girl, whom I considered, humble, down to earth, innocent, orthodox, very very well mannered etc etc. Whenever I happened to meet her at the mall , she always speak softly, looking down, whereby I was made to believe that she has a very down to earth personality.

"[BEEP]"
I looked up. Someone is calling my AWESOME nick name.

"Doi...[Beep]"
Who is that..who is that..my eyes scanned the horizon.

The same "down to earth girl," was showing her real color.She was standing in the middle of a group of spectacled females and was shouting my nick name, for all the world to hear.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
HOW can She?
*sigh
I made a new quote that day
"A girl in natural habitat will have all ground support"-Sorcerer

____________________

Dev:Let them come to our place one day.

Me:Yeah and every Tom,[Beep] and Harry would, gather around them and would be ready to even carry them on their back.

Dev:We are not like them.We have to show hospitality.No?

Me:Yeah yeah!!Thank God!! We didn't end up in hospital as casualty.

__________________________+

38 comments:

санжог said...

saucer...you...went...to women's college and shamelessly....well I feel so bad for the scooter....

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog
dude!! the whole situation was horrible. Murphys laws

Quirky said...

Ufff....I'm so proud of my sistren!!

Vamsi said...

@ sorcy,

the 'scenes' of Ladies hostel as 'depicted' by you ... do look tasty, sumptuous, delicious.

Chak de india.

cheers !

NoFaIrYtAlE said...

lol..awesome nickname? dt scooter incident happend 2 guy in our colony...lol it wz WAY TOO FUNNY!!! v recorded it and put it on youtube..he still hates us..mahuahuahuahuahua!!!!

Saadi said...

Girl's hostel...where men loose all power and girls hav all power!! Bt then it's sort of the same for Boy's Hostel!!! :p

Nice post, Sorcy!!!

Sakshi said...

Well, you guys were left at just that!!! Lucky you...!!! It could have been lot worse!!! :P

supriya said...

you guys deserve that...!!! :D

Four Dinners said...

'Dev:Make fun of me, but not my scooter. Okay.'

Dev is my hero!

I so wish I knew what the fuck is going on.....

Sorry....old fart alert...;-)

Well???? It's not my bleedin' fault I was born in 1957!!!!! It's not my fault I'm...er...fifty...er...some'at!!!!

I do me best!!!

Stay cool old bean

SindhuBhairavi said...

adipoli!! :) after reading that senti post i feel relieved reading this... loved the vowels I O :) :) too good sorcy!! while reading ur posts he asks me atleast more than 3 times why i am giggling! and i see fumes of jealousy!!

subu.ps said...

Nice funny post as usual. That scooter, that song everything brings back my college memories.
Sorcy u rock !!

theschmuck said...

LOL...I assure you...thats just the outside view,inside the hostel...well THINGS DISAPPEAR.You are free to decipher on your own :P
I need a translation of the song!!!

Queenmatrai said...

Parking a scooter outside rather than parking it inside???

HUH?

chitra said...

Ayooo....very true , I think that is the word that gets repeated hundred times a day.

I was also in a Womens' college and I knew how girls BEHAVE.But don't mistake me I was a pavam.

Sorcerer said...

@chitra
Pavam ?
Me too...sherikkum pavam.no?

@queenmatrai
we will never park scooter outside

@theschmuck
I want a blog post on disappearing things.
Translation: aye aye..

@sabu.p.s
yes...those good old days
*sigh

@sindhubhairavi
haha..thank you for the comment
Senti post..The letter....
hmm..i know..I was sad too..after writing it.


@Fourdinners.
haha...so back to blogville after weekend break.
Good to see you back.:)

@Supriya
We deserve that?
*sigh

@Sakshi
yeah..I didnt post many 'customized' comments.

@Saadi
but they never come to a guys hostel without 'support' group

@nofairytale
hahahaa..nice nice..

@vamsi
haha..you said it buddy

@quirky
yeah yeah!! Are you not supposed to be sympathetic?
I can see someone rolling eyes

rohini said...

gr8 escape...atleast u dint end up in hospital as casuality...just see we ladies are merciful tooo

Sorcerer said...

@rohini
[evil laugh]
but we are back in one piece . no?

geeta said...

I too have college memories..but you really have ..something different(tomato ketchup).
Love the way of your conversation..

DiDo said...

hahaha... loll soczz and what ur nickname actually :P...

Saadi said...

Dude, they recruit their support on spot! Nvr underestimate a woman's support sale pitch! :p

Karthik said...

Need I say more? Hilarious as usual. Women's hostel is always a fascinating thing to be talked about, isn't it? Too good, man. :)

D said...

muahahaha Sorcy...if u wanted ur 'awesome' nick to be a secret u should never have blurted it out to me....

*drum rolls*

Mowgliiiiiiiiiiii :D

Tara said...

hhahaaaa.... ayyoooo i neve knew u were mallu .

Sorcerer said...

@Tara
I am a 100% bio degradable non toxic mallu

@D
Oye!! THAT MEANS>>WARRRR!!!!!
WAR!!
with all capital letters

@karthik
yeah..we can talk for hours on it.

@saadi
yeah you said..they even go with a support group to toilets
hahahahaha
funny.no?

Sorcerer said...

@dido
errr..Nick name?what nick name?

Sorcerer said...

@geeta
its different
haha..nice
thank you for the comment

D said...

Bring it on Sorcyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy or should I say Mowgliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii


muahahahahahhaha

anishthomas said...

Whew..that was a killer post.I heard a lot of similar kinda stories about st Teresa college, Cochin.Chill guys one day you will get a moka 2 pay back.Loved the last line

Megha said...

Oh God what a comparison....girls hostel & jurrassic park ?

:D as always, cool post :)

Pratik Gupta said...

Just wow..wow..wow..wow wow!! :)Bro! I have full support/sympathy for you....atleast all the girls knew you after this..what else you want. Many engineer souls die wish of being known in Girl's campus...But you did it!! so be proud of urself!

susie said...

whoa! sorc... whoa!! :D ;D

dilontherocks said...

hahahha...Picturing coupla gals scaring two guys..awesome..:))

Sorcerer said...

@dilontherocks
Coupla girls?
NOOOO!!!
Acres and Acres of girls and just 2 of us!

@susie
yeah.you and D in a team.No?

@pratik
thankn you thank you..your inspiring messages keep me going

@megha
yeah...Tyrannosaurus rexes..unleashed

@anishthomas
yeah..ST Teresa... The heaven on Gods own COuntry

@D
HEy!!! Do you know that..Operation... "Find Nicko" is a Go?
So..Muhahahaha to you

Meenakshi said...

women's college is awesome.. the scenery and air you got in the trip on and pushing the scooter is not even 10% of the real nature..

been in a girls school, coed school, women's college, hostel, coed college.. my cousin brothers were extra loving especially wen i was in the women's college and hostel with weekly visits with goodies (and I never really realized why actually - yeah, I was a dunce; presumed it was brotherly love).

Why blame the gals, you poke your head into a tiger's den and then you expect to get out without even a roar.. count your blessing you got out without bruises and in one single piece. :P why can't guys just stick to their territories, huh??

Sorcerer said...

@meenakshi
yeah yeah!!I know.I know.I dont want to give heart attacks to my male readers explaining in DETAILS.

Tigers den.hahahahahaha
well..not really.
Stick to our territories?
we..are warriors...we invade

smitzy said...

when u enter the Gates of Doom, expect nothing less :P :P

and trust me when i say this, you escaped with very less damage. Had it been my group out there... lets just say, you'd have had a really tough time getting the blush off ur cheeks ;) :P

Sorcerer said...

@smitzy
*gulp

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