Monday, January 11, 2010

.::CONVERSATIONS ::.


It's natural for people to "ask" technical questions over the internet and I love to clear technical queries
n00b:Do you know the command to hide folders?

Sorcerer:Hmmm? Why you wanna hide em?

n00b: It's confidential information.

Sorcerer:porn?

n00b:Nope.

Sorcerer: According to me, porn is the only thing that needs to be hidden.

n00b:It's porn.lol.Tell me the command to hide the folder, so that noone can see it.

Sorcerer:Deltree /y Drive name. This will hide all the folders in that drive.

n00b:Cool,Thank you

Sorcerer:You are welcome.

n00b:DELtree. Is DEL for Delete?

Sorcerer:in MS DOS..MS stands for Microsoft. DELTREE.Del stands for DELL.Its' a command from Dell Computers. Don't you know history of computers?

n00b:Thank you so much. So kind of you to help me out.

Sorcerer:It's alright. This is how you learn stuffs.

[Muahahahahahah!!! ]

____________________

Genius: Since, I have the remote control, That makes me the most important person in this room.

Sorcerer: Please interpret the said statement as "Since he has the remote control, That makes him the assh*!3 in this room."

____________________

Wiseguy: Did you hear that, Anish slipped in the bathroom,broke his right hand.

Genius:Ouch!! That's a terrible love story.

..
..


Wiseguy: We need to go and see him right?...


Sorcerer:Give him a magazine with hot chicks in it with GET WELL SOON written on the cover; We will all sign on the cover.

Wiseguy:That's some encouragement.

____________________

S*****: but he is ol?i cant c him

me: he was for a sex

S*****: err?

me: sec
sorry
sorry
SEC
SEC
Typo Error!!

S*****: yeah yeah sorcy

____________________

There are some words, which I never know/knew the meaning of and learned the meaning the hard way.
This happened a few years back, when I HAD a girl friend .[ Yeah A real girl, not with .jpg or @yahoo.com extension. ]

Exgirlfriend:You are soo Sarcastic

Me:What?

[Yes! I think I had heard /seen that word before, but never knew that the same word will come into my life haunting me. I can't ask her for the meaning of it, since she considers me human version of GOOGLE.
[Buahahahahah].


ExGirlFriend:Sarcastic! You ARE SARCASTIC.

Me:Hahahahahaha
[I laughed cuz, I didn't know the meaning of the word "SARCASTIC" and was buying time to 'analyze' in best possible way the meaning of it.
I thought sarcastic was a simile or metaphor for chemical or some shit like plastic.It also rhymes with fantastic.?]

ExGirlFriend: I told you, you are Sarcastic.

Me:Well !! Will call you back in a while.
*gulp
So Sarcastic means..a guy who laughs?

..
..

I wanted to find out the meaning of "Sarcastic." I should have used Google, but I was outside in the REAL WORLD, without having access to the internet. I saw the guy from the 'Documentation' Department.

Me:Hi
[This guy, wears spectacles and I have seen him solving puzzles in news papers.]

Him:Hello

Me: Err..Can I ask you something.

Him: okay.

Me: I want to know the meaning of "Sarcastic."

Him: Sarcastic..hmm..Which technical manual did you find that word?

Me:Errr.. I...I...The word just popped up.

Him:Sarcastic...hmm....Can you use it in sentence.

Me:"You are sarcastic."

Him:What?

Me:Yeah!! Its like that..We say "You are sarcastic."

Him:I think its an adjective.

Well!! I didn't get the meaning of the word 'Sarcastic' from him. But..I understood what an Adjective is.
..
..

She also taught me the word "Cynical" and I heard it as Clinical. I was about to ask her "Do I smell Like Dettol?" But then I thought, what if its a "new word" and kept my mouth shut. [ I can imagine my readers sighing]
____________________

OnlineFriend:Brb

Sorcerer:Okay!
..
..

OnlineFriend:I am back.New Record!

Sorcerer:What?

OnlineFriend:Yeah!! I want to pee and come back before my computer goes into screen saver mode.Guess what..Its a new record.

Sorcerer:Congrats for the pee record.

____________________

Location:FORUM Shopping Mall; Bangalore

We got a Hostile Chick on our awesome radar.
"Hostile chick " is when we see a HOT chick, with a guy, 90% probability of being her boy friend. And this is how we speak when we see a hot chick. It's better than saying "HEY!! DUDEE!!! LOOK AT DAT GIRL."

Wiseguy: Hostile Chick ,3 O clock..Inbound..

Sorcerer: Roger that. I think, it's her boy friend.

Wiseguy:Screw him.

Sorcerer:You screw him, I will screw her!

____________________

Another Literary outbreak from Sorcerer.

Awesome metaphor/similes[ I am still confused between metaphor and
similes Don't tell me they are same]

"Her trust on him was like a church with a lightning rod."

__________________________+

50 comments:

санжог said...

I am happy for sarcastic....it's an adjective!! Hurrayyyyyy!!

санжог said...

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and Sorcerator the great is from the tear in space and time continuum.

his brain is like this:

60% porn
30% hot chicks
10% unknown error, command not found...unix commands

I know people will love this...so thank you in Advance!

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog

Sanjog: check out my cool comments
Sorcerer: aye

Sanjog: AWESHOME
if this post comment does not go hit----super duper mind blasting hit....then i will loose my faith in humanity
__

ps:THIS MEANS WAR!!!!!!!!

санжог said...

Sorcy says write this as a testis on my Orkut.

санжог said...

I donno what that means but , sorcy i am straight, me 100% sure about it.

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog

Hey You bunny wabbit!! Say your prayers!!

You are a bunny wabbit on Duracell and I am going to eat you for supper. Now don't try to get away. I am more muscular, more cunning, faster and larger than you are and I'm a genius while you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarden. So I'll give you the customary 2 minutes to say your prayers.

MUaahahahah!!

*Takes the Baretta and loads it!

санжог said...

you forgot your pants!!

Sakshi said...

The comment on Sorcerer's brain by caxor is AWESOME. Totally.

And- @Sorcerer
The only word that comes to my mind after reading this is-
Incorrigible...!! :)

Chhaya said...

Shittttt man!! u Deltree-ed a Noob?? shit shit! :P

btw, ur writing reminds me on Dilbert! Awesome ;)

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog
Sakshi says "Incorrigible"
hahahaha
did you read it..when you spell it it sounds like some fried snack.

Be back after googling the meaning
BRB

Something to do with punishment

@sakshi
errr..What did I do wrong?

Sorcerer said...

@Chhaya

That n00b was just over 18.
and I knew that he was lying. an 18 year old who doesnt know the DELTREE.
he deserves it..
See..ppl like me get the HEAVEN for doing good.

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog
I FORGOT MY PANTS?

Well! mr..I dont wear any when I am on the internet..its one size fit all pajamas that I wear while on the internet..

Sakshi said...

@ Sorcerer
You did nothing wrong..!! Its a compliment in itself- even though the meaning is negative. That is, you are yourself, and I love the way you are. (As per the posts) :)

санжог said...

@sorcy

Please, do you have to reveal all your secrets publicky.

May be you should hire me as your PR when you get famous!

Sorcerer said...

@sakshi
thank you..thank you..thank you


@sanjog

Suffering succotash!
YOU ..MY PR?

I would rather have PARIS HILTON be P.R for me

санжог said...

Sorcerer Ryudo: FUCK YOU
me : no thanx, i am straight

Sorcerer Ryudo: i said Iam straight too period
me: you get straight periods?

me: i have to google this
Sorcerer Ryudo: fuck
Sorcerer Ryudo: straight .
Sorcerer Ryudo: . is period

me: may be you should talk taking too many i-pills

Whats there left to prove!!

OH right PARIS ofcourse!! i remember you saying that was one of your favorite porn.

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog
Paris has porn?

I would die laughin watchin that!!

санжог said...

@saucer

Liar liar pants on fire, sitting on the other end of wire. (sorry pajamas on fire)

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog

you know what happens to kids that sings rhymes?

They will be duct taped and will me mailed to aboodhabi desert!

*wears a Tshirt with "don't mess with me" writing on it

санжог said...

@saucer

"don't mess with me " is for all the hot girls you are hitting on right!

Sorcerer said...

@snajog
NOPEE!! Its exclusively for you.

For them it says "Eat at Sorcy's"

Mayur said...

I fell off the chair, laughing at the ''terrible love story crack''. And THEN your gf tells you you are sarcastic. poor girl! keep the madness going, love your posts!

M.

Sorcerer said...

@mayur
thank you buddy for the comment
:)

you ppl keep me inspired for my weirdness!

sulagna said...

anish broke his hand n u givin him a magazine with hot chics in it!!!

sadistic sorci..very sadistioc

Oxymoron said...

hey...this one was really funny...especially the little conversation with the ex....the only let down i don't know what sarcastic means..

Sorcerer said...

@oxymoron
sarcastic means..a kind of castic soda you mix with dough when making laddu

@sulagna
yeah!! our motto "happy to help".
yeah..vodafone says that too

Chocolate Lover said...

hehehe! LOL
:D
I liked the broken hand story :p

Sorcerer said...

@chocolate lover
thank you for the comment

Saadi said...

Awesomeness, man!!! Loved the ex-girlfriend and remote bits!! :D

Oxymoron said...

oh yeah...i have eaten that laddu ....my friends often bring that for me....

Meenakshi said...

hhehehe.. vote goes to Forum Mall convo AND my heart goes out to your poor ex (sensible gal).

Hey and I seriously swear: I am 24 and I have no idea at all what DELTREE is..

Special mention to санжог's classification of your brain..hehehe

Aditya said...

ROFLMAO@ broken hand piece! Hilarious one!

You are one crazy fella. You know that i suppose! Keep up the wise cracks buddy! :D

Yemiledu said...

hehehaha! Nice post!
Enjoyed it so much.
Even I learnt some new words the way you did. lol :P

Megha said...

LOL.. sorcy...sarcastic ..fantastic..clinical...u are crazy...thanks for the daily dose of laughter...

SindhuBhairavi said...

good one.. :) loved the EX-gf one!

SindhuBhairavi said...

by the way.. thanks for the comments on my blog.. :)

Jaunty anima said...

Just can't stop laughing when I read ur blog..
Hey keep up d good work...!!!:)

Jon said...

i remember when the command to screw up the noobs was del dot

more than a few hard drives screwed up by that one...

seems you've got a mean streak, eh?

and metaphor and simile...

same things... just one strikes like a hammer... the other is a nail

Bedazzled said...

lol on the peeing before screensaver comes backkk !!

sulagna said...

"happy to help" huh???

and yu say its a good thing..bechare ki haath tooti hai n u gave him a magazine which has hot chics in it...clearly he would need his hands to__________

Viji said...

Hey Sorcerer, really liked the ex gf, english lessons:-).

Saurabh Panshikar said...

Haha! Loved the whole post!
The last quote is the Besht!

Nona said...

Interesting definition of an hostile chick! :)

Queenmatrai said...

Pee record...
Boy you talk to some strange people.

Sorcerer said...

@queenmatrai
hmm..yeah.. internet is soo wild..

@nona
yeah.. we have special lingo for chicks.

@saurabh
:)
thanks for noticing it..

@viji
yeah!! she taught me a whole lot of things..my learning curve showed a great upward curve during those days..

@sulagna.
yeah!! yeah!! we know..that the reason we gave him the book.A lil encouragement to heal the hands..

@bedazzled
yeah!! pee record!
thanks for the comment

@jon
yeah!! its so funny..we would be laughing our rear things off..thinking about ehe reactions of the n00b.

@sindhubhairavi
thank you:)

thank you for the comment
:)

@jaunty anima
thank you for the visit and the comment

@megha
:)
thanks for the comment

@yemiledu
life is a learning process.. you see

@Aditya
long time ..no see..
thanks for the visit

@meenakshi
yeah!! sure sure..sensible she is..
she couldn't stand the SSSAARRCCAAASTIC comments.
buaahahaha!! poor fellow she is.

thanks :) for the comment
deltree is when you cut down a tree.

@oxymoron
yeah thats sarcasm,. eating laddus without sharing

@saadi
hey buddy!! thanks for the visit and the comment :)

Me said...

abruptness is beauuuuuuty sorcy..loved the convos for that..
ps. the sex sec sec thingy reminded me of a certain scene in the movie sex and the city.. it goes something like dick DECK :D

and since u have a doubt with simile and metaphor i take up the opportunity to clear that..
nothing..simile says one is like another and metaphor says one is another.
eg. my love is like a red red rose (simile)
my love is a red red rose( metaphor)

simple love story

Sorcerer said...

@me
thank you for the comment
you are right..abruptness is the awesomeness in convos

:) thanks for clearing that out..but still i get confused..anyway!

Uncommon Sense said...

super, hilarious esp. the ex. gf one

Sorcerer said...

@uncommonsense
thank you:)

shikha said...

Whoa, I AM impressed :D. I loved the "Hot Chick, 3 O' Clock, Inbound"... heheh. ROTFL.