Bachelor, It's God's way of showing, how it would be living in the Garden of Eden. Yes, a bachelor, in his natural habitat, will live life naked, truly innocent and very down to earth [Some even touch earth when living that way, I think its a disease] and close to the nature. He makes use of the natural resources to the maximum.
Google, which I consider the virtual version of real God defines a bachelor as " A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit."
Most of the time, a bachelor is wrongly classified as "LOOSER".[Yes!That's what EGO does to Married and suffering people! ]
Remember, bachelor hood is the only time, when you can celebrate Naked Sundays exposing your beer belly and eating potato chips while watching FTV models on the ramp.
VIVA LA BACHELORS!!
I told you before that most bachelors live their life, very open, because they are so innocent and has nothing to hide.Their life is like an open book like all great persons. They walk around (mostly inside, as not to scare the neighbor's cat) the home without clothes or minimum clothes because, it is to cut down on washing costs and detergent. I call this living so sensibly. The cloth one bachelor must wear inside his home according to Sorcerer's Code Book is A fluffy soft bathroom Towel, which can be wrapped around the waist.(If you don't have a towel that's big enough; like in the case of this blogger.try and wrap what you can and secure it using safety pins.). The exposed body parts will absorb enough sunlight which contains Vitamin D.
The walls of bedroom should be covered with pictures of Goddesses in Bikini and bra that resembles a band-aid. Something should be covered and left for imagination to avoid disappointment. No?.
Wall should show all your creativity thingies. Your score on Mosquito kills. Wall drawings like foot print of your Puma shoes.[ One day your foot print will become famous like the Neil Amstrong's]
Fractal paintings with ink adds to the beauty of your living space.
A picture of girl in TUTU is a must.
The bed sheet (optional) doubles up as, blanket, towel, cloth spread while ironing clothes. Your bed can be used as chair, dining table, coffee table, book shelf and as kitchen table for having sex.
There should be many movie CD's near your bed. Everything you need should be within hands reach from your bed.
Your pillow should have the name of your latest crush. Though your crush may not be dirty, your pillow sure is. A Naked pillow(Pillow without pillow cover) will match your naked Sunday celebration.
Most of the bachelors prefer to wear jeans or denim as it's scientifically proven that dust and dirt adds glamor to jeans. They are more fashionable and ooh la la..when torn. [ You are extremely lucky if it tears exposing your hairy bum-bum] . or your awesome skinny knees.Wearing matching sock is for people who are scared to take risk.[Har har har to them]
Bachelor clothes has more features than married male's clothes. A bachelors cloth are always clean.(that's just a start what you smell is the horny fragrance of a bachelor).
These findings are based on the only test available and affordable for bachelors to test the cloth: "Smell Test"
- The cloth of a bachelor will become, clean and wearable when left alone for a week.
- Best way to remove stain is 'licking it'. Comes easy when you scratch it when its dry.
- The cloth of a bachelor will become, odor less and clean and wearable when there is nothing else to wear.
- There is no expiry date on jeans. It comes under the range of "Wear it -Forget it" range of clothing.
- Stains add glamor to t-shirt. There is nothing sexy than ketchup stain on t-shirt.
- Any stain can be treated with matching sketch pen color to make it blend into the background. If you are creative, make an art out of stain on your cloth drawing legs and eyes on it with marker pens.
- Deodorant is like your right hand in life.
It's a simple process if you have a working washing machine.[Add shampoo to washing machines to make lots of bubbles.Apart from fragrance it gives to clothes, its funny to look at when it foams up] .If you don't have a washing machine.Follow these steps
- Take water in a bucket
- Add sufficient detergent. [Sufficient means, enough detergent to get that fragrant smell].
- Put your clothes in the bucket.
- Use a long stick to stir the contents of the bucket emulating the washing machine.
- Stir for 5 minutes and your cloth is as good as new.
- Wear your dirty cloth and take bath in them.This way you can save precious water and also wash the cloth. [Oh!!You are welcome,]
A bachelor is smart enough to make use of minimum space required to dry clothes
- A chair can be used to put your clothes for drying
- Tube light can be used to dry sock and underwear.
- Iron bars on the window can be used to put towels, socks, underwear etc.
- If you want to dry it quick, use microwave oven or iron it.
- No electricity? Heat the underside of your electric iron using stove.Make sure its just right temperature for cloth and press your awesome cloths.
[ A fine example of how Genius Bachelors use Space.]
BACHELORS!! Did you see sheer unadulterated brilliance? Learn from it.
When nature comes calling, this is the times when some bachelors keep their Ipod down. Bathroom is where most bachelors get their awesome ideas. A bathroom should have SHAMPOO.
Shampoo is a must thing. Toothpaste is okay. Soap should be left open and in a pool of water.This is bachelors way of making liquid soap. Shampoo is your good friend. Shampoo can double up as toothpaste and soap and even as detergent to wash your clothes.[ When you use shampoo as toothpaste.your mouth will taste funny till you have your first coffee.] A bachelor can use his bathroom for as many hours as he wants.Does your toilet have a seat cover? I know you would not have known that it has a seat cover.Don't worry this is one thing that you are supposed to notice only after getting married.
Any bachelor is a born cook. Since a bachelor when married hates to sleep on a couch, he pretends that his wife is a better cook.
Noodles and eggs is a bachelors best friend other than his right hand. Beer is the best staple diet of a bachelor.Beer contains important vitamins and minerals and has H2O. A bachelor should never refuse a free meal.
A bachelor should read news paper and should know which film is running at which theater or multiplex, so that he can avoid that places when with his girl friend. A bachelor should know all the strategic vantage points on his terrace. He should be good friends with the lil cousin and lil brothers of good looking chicks in his locality.
A bachelor should know the phone number of pizza hut and other food outlets which offers home delivery and should be able to say the number even while asleep. You should be able to bullshit about any topic under the sun for hours.
Always start the sentence with "According to me" and end with "Apparently" or "As such".
You should read as many as playboy magazine to understand about global warming in your pants.
A bachelor should learn to pet his own hairy leg. Exotic habit of petting pet snake is also appreciated by the bachelor clan.
The universal currency of a bachelor is beer. If any bachelor who could say "F[beep] you" on your face, and show the middle finger at you, after getting drunk is fit to drive.
The advantages of being bachelor are endless. Nobody is gonna ask you "where were you last night"; cuz you "crashed" at your friends place.You have the right to point at married people and laugh and also roll eyes at their kids.
You can watch gland finales of sports match, undisturbed.
A bachelor should shamelessly flirt...as much as possible so that he won't regret it after the "I do's". coz "I do's" and " I spend" is what he will do the rest of his life.
According to my awesomeness , a bachelor is like a fire extinguisher filled with gasoline.
but...if you live your life to the full in the Garden of Eden..you will be able to dedicate the rest of your life for some one you love without any regrets...so all the dudes and dudettes go out and make the most of it... marriage is not sacrifice.[Cuz it does not begin with S] .it's the time of your life where you really want to make some one happy shamelessly and selflessly.