Wednesday, January 13, 2010

.:: RUBBER ::.

Yes, Let me tell you this straight, even before you read further. This story is about a bunch of guys who went to help his friend buy a rubber. Now this rubber is not that kind of rubber you think is the rubber. I mean..rubber..the American style of speech. For our rubber they say eraser. The rubber I am talking about is to prevent erasing.[ Hope you got my drift]. Before, you jump into conclusion and call it another 'one of those' posts, let me tell ya, every guy has to go through this embarrassing decision of buying a rubber. There are those who acknowledge it, for some, it was *gulp when he brought it the first time


then there are those who says "Whats so embarrassing about it?"

Err...Ya know Mr.Thick hide. I do take bath every day and my skin is soft and on top of it, I got a sensitive mind (Note the sarcasm) and I am an eligible bachelor [I confess..I don't know the meaning of what I just blabbered.]

I mean, every guy will have a story when he brought rubber for the first time.

This is how the chaos began.

Nav gets married and on top of it, his manager gave him a whole week off. We, guys, that means, me and 4 others, who are still single, was enjaaying our bachelorhood, teasing and bugging this newly married guy, actually scaring him with horror stories, about vampires. [Buaahahahahahaha....Its so should try it too]

A little background info on Nav. He is one fine guy. Innocent and on top of it, knows the least of swear words in our group and has less human anatomy in those swear words. He never had a girl friend and he was using Google, heavily 3 days before he got married.

I know, I did a bad job of not telling him about all the wonderful things in life. Yes !! heavens would be angry at me.

Nav: Can anyone buy rubber for me?

We: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! [High decibel laugh]

Nav: I will buy you all a wonderful dinner, when I come back

We: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! [High decibel laugh]

Nav:So that's friendship?

Rana: Hey!! You got married, you buy what you want. Look at us, we are all single.

Nav:Please *puppy eyes

Sorcy: Yeah! Bangalore is 'where I am a good Mallu Annkutty ;)
' So....
[Now where have I heard that before?]

Rana: I will get it, but somebody has to come with me to the pharmacist.

Nav:Sorcy!! Will you?

Since I have a soft and sensitive heart, also, I get this awesome chance to "learn" how Rana buys it. I agreed to be his wing-man on this shameless(Read:Brave) mission.


Finally, the REAL BOYS!! took up the challenge based on this theory that..
"Such people should never be allowed to contribute to the gene pool."and the business deal that he would pay the 'Broad Band ' Bill for the month.

Sooper Sorcy and Sooper Rana was now on this mission.
[Heal the world, Make it a better the background]


Rana: We got a problem..2 guys can't go and buy a rubber. It will give a completely wrong impression.

Sorcerer:Yeah! right. you go buy.I will go back to your room and watch T.V

Rana:NO!!! You are coming with me.

Sorcerer:So you want the pharmacist to question my orientation? Excuse me I have a life !!

Rana:You buy something else.

Sorcerer: We will pretend we don't know each other in front of the pharmacist.I will ask your name and all.. ya know..just put an act.So that...

Rana:Nope..You just buy some stuffs like...errr.. Migrane tablet or something.

Sorcerer:Roger That!!

The walk to the pharmacist's shop feel like an eternity. We were not really happy, but we had a huge GEE grin on our faces.

We waited for the Chicks to clear out of the pharmacy. Rana places the 50 Rupee currency at the counter and goes errr..

uh!!oh!!! Situation getting out of hand..

Pharmacist: What do you want?

He was silent like cat got his tongue.

Sorcerer: Hajmaola Candy. 2 of them.
See..I need to act. right? To get us out of this situation.

Pharmacist[ Looks at the 50 Rs currency.]: Don't you have change?

Sorcerer[Digs in the wallet]:Err...Nope. I think I will go and get the change.


We moved a little away from the pharmacy.

Sorcerer: Eeeediat!!! What the Heck!! Now how we gonna get him pay the broad band bill?

Rana: Err..How do we ask him.

Sorcerer:Go there and ask like in the advertisement : Rubber please...

Rana:Okay!! Watch and learn.

See!! I am always good in encouraging kids do the darnest things. A born motivator..I am.Muaahahaha..Muaahahahahaha...

After some time, we go back shamelessly to the same pharmacist.

Rana: Rubber Please.

I was standing admiring the beautiful pictures of..errr..tablet and vaporizers and prickly heat powder on the walls of the pharmacy while Rana does the "Watch and Learn"

Pharmacist: Which one?..

I could read his face: It said..WHAT? Get me anything..please help me get out of here before the chicks from the ladies hostel pops up.

I was thinking, God!! what if he don't know the medical term for the type. Pharmacist was really helping guy, trying to embarrass us with his help.

Pharamacist: You want thick, thin, long, short, flavored?
"What is this Wall mart of rubber? Get us anything..pleeeeeeeeeeasee," shouted my conscious.
There was a situation brewing up, Sorcy to the rescue...

Sorcerer:[ Yeah!! I am always a life saver] : I think we should phone and ask NAV what he needs.

My statement was to, prove our innocence in this situation. It's indirectly telling the pharmacist guy that " It's Not for any of us, but for a shameless guy."
Ya know!! I really had a sigh of relief when I said that. Only then I knew the true meaning of what authors mean by "Sigh of relief."
"When you are in situation like mine..You will experience the sigh of relief"-Sorcerer

Rana:Errr.. Don't phone him..You have anything called "Normal."

What if Rana ask me to give him a call. Then I will have to wait till he Googles, measures , change it from Cms to Inches...


He gives us the rubber.

Nav:Did you get it?
His face lighted up like Paris Hilton seeing pink Color.

Rana:yeah!! YEEEAAA!!!

Nav:Only 3 for 30 Rs?

Sorcerer: You're deth-picable!

That's how the mission came to an end. I think many guys out there has some similar story to share. [Please say.."yes"!! My conscious is not keeping quiet.]


Me said...

so its really a big deal ha? i was under the impression that it was so may be some ages ago..guys still bumble, stutter and stammer. right.

Quest said...

Last weekend happened to see Crezendo being given free by a magazine FH.., buying that would have been a better option :D ;)

Pratik Gupta said...

Now that is what i say a life time experience...i never gave a thought abt how to deal with this situation but this reminds me of something...let me blog and drop the link for you

Sakshi said...

it is such a big deal huh...!!! I thought it was a big deal for single guys... but ahem married guys too... finally you get a weak spot for the macho men..

Queenmatrai said...

I think your next post should be about Men buying Whisper with wings.

susie said...


Mayur said...

Brilliant as always. As someone said yesterday - pass us some of the stuff you are on :D.

Watch out, more followers on your way :).

M. said...

LOL. You indeed took me to the state of mind you people were in.
Very funny indeed.
And itz really true that Rubber ad has worked wonders in confidence of many guys!!

Shayon said...

How the hell does the pharmacist understand whether u are married or single? I guess it's time guys started wearing a mangalsutra too, eh?

That was really a good one.

It was a nice one, man. The first one I bought was when I was ragged by my seniors. But yeah, I guess I was the "thick hide" type.
By the way, could you do something about the splash of yellow on your blog? It's kinda extremely difficult to read.

Anonymous said...

lol... reminded me , one of my roommate ragged by our seniors to get 'rubber' from a 'rubber' vending machine

Sakshi said...


mantiz said...

lol.. very funny read! reminded me of the first time i went to buy one, during my 2nd yr.
it was a birthday present for a classmate, and was officially presented to him in the class ;)

NesQuarX said...

I am so proud of myself to have researched brands, flavours, sizes and costs the day before I needed one, then found a shop (far from my place) that stocks that exact thing in plain sight. I went, pointed and the damn thing and handed the precise money needed.

Yes I know I'm awesome.

Oh, awesome post, Sorc.

Anonymous said...


Saadi said...

Lol...i hd to do tht once fr a scavenger hunt!! was like the scariest shit ever!!

Bt unlike u guys...I hd sorta went prepared so wen I reaached the counter I jst blabberred like I hd learnt wat I wanted by heart!!!

N this was ALOT easier than catching a duck...also alot less painful! :p

Saurabh Panshikar said...

M too young to read / try / comment!

Megha said...

lol...some insight in the boys talk...

Quirky said...

Rotfl at 'What is this Wall mart of rubber?'

N 'good mallu annkutty' ..ahemmmmmmm

@SP: Lol.. too much I zay ;)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Uncommon Sense said...

masterfully described, liked it

Nipun said...

Rubber can also be funny..
A well described funny event.
It really takes a lot of guts to ask for it.
Sir Sorcy Rox...



Chanz said...

Sorcy, which one did you finally buy. Thick, thin, short, long, flavored.

Thank god the guy at the store didnt ask you more questions. I saw this advertisement in Outlook which had about 15 different flavours. Fuck man... Fuck..

Sorcerer said...

thank you for the comment
yeah they came in all flavours..

seee.thats wht..its kinda like a "situation" and yeahh.pappu pass ho gaya

thank you buddy :)

yeah!! I shamelessly stole that statement from your blog.

yeah!! veru true. no?

@saurabh panishkar

*points and laughs

dont worry!! I always do this "pointin and laugh thng on the internet"

haha..thats a new thing.byheart it

thank you

thats ..using the GOOGLE productively for unproductive things

yeah...he turned 18 and you gave him a rubber..thats cool

thank you for the comment. much a guy has to go through.. *sigh

cool . no?
thanks for the comment

see..The seniors.teach us many things.. wonderful education .no?

thank you for the comment

@mayur not on any stuff
I was on Complan.. but then I hated milk .. tat was during toddler iam on pepsi..and vodka and stuffs

chooziee...hoowwiieess you...
:) thanks for the comment

yeah.. err...i think I should..interview some married guys for that..
Anyone want to volunteer?
Yes.>I volunteer to shamelessly interview the person..

anyone..anyone..want to take this awesome interview?

@pratik gupta
see..come here everyday.this is lifepedia for all bachelors..

@quest!! magazine with hot chicks giving rubber for free to save the pages..awsome


yeah..seee..its the deepest darkest secret of Man kind..

Sorcerer said...

I changed the yellow color thingy
I was away for 2 days..I actually scheduled this post to get published yesterday.
so didnt have time to check the format.
now..its okay!!

DayDreamer said...

This is SOOPER Stuff..guess any guy would be able to relate to it..

Loved your style on narration..

Great Work..

Ode Writer said...

LOL... Wallmart of Rubber !!... heehee

good one!

Sorcerer said...

@day dreamer

thanks for visiting my old post and commenting

@ode writer
where you been? thanks for visiting and the comment

Ode Writer said...

me here... u have been blogging like crazy... a post a day... way too much for my li'l brain to catch up on!

Sorcerer said...

Brain? whats dat?

Ode Writer said...

trust me, it wasn't meant to be a taunt to you, when i spoke of it :D :P

Sorcerer said...

err..ya know what..i had to google the meaning of ":Taunt" just to make sure its meaning

SindhuBhairavi said...

it made me laugh.. :) but.. i wish u were a real mallu ankutty in front of the pharmacist!

Anonymous said...

"A good Mallu Annkutty" Hehehaha..I know where I heard it :~P

Sorcerer said...


its alright.!! he has seen me shamelessly staring at girls in our ever i go..Mallu habit follows

;) gee hee hee ha
thanks for the comment

Durga Nandan said...

I thought times changed? :? You guys STILLLL have trouble... Buahuahahah! :D :D
Man, I had this AWESOME idea after your post.. Gift some guy rubber on his marriage day. Let him deal with his wifey's confused stares when they open gifts.. :D
Gawd! What an Idea madamji! [I pat myself on my back :D]

Sorcerer said...

@durga nandan
thats a good idea.

Anonymous said...

Google the best SE!

smitzy said...

sooperb saar, just sooperb :)

Sorcerer said...

thank you..thank you

Anonymous said...

Genial fill someone in on and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you as your information.

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