Wednesday, January 20, 2010


This is an incident that happened during my school days. Yes I was really hurt in the process cuz of this.
[I know!! It's alright, but are you gonna give me that comforting hug. Senorita?]

There was this chick, in our class, when we were doing our +1 . For convenience sake let's call her Citra. She was cute. One thing common in between us was that we both were in the same class.

Every guy, liked to flirt with her, but I was not every guy. I was talking to her , for an entirely different reason(NOOO!!! remember:"Where Iam a good Mallu Ankutty" thingy).Our English teacher, had asked me to improve my communication skill and I was talking to this girl to improve my English Communication Skill. Like you, everybody misunderstood my intention.

I used to read thick books from our library which has English characters in it. We had awesome books in our library from Champak to Encyclopedia Britannica. I won't write anything bad about this library because, I really loved that place and the dust and the books.


Meet my wing-man. My desk mate, lab partner and partner in various crimes. We used to be on the same team while playing football.(Americans call it Soccer).I take this opportunity to say that, I used to be the goal keeper for my team;Yes! Girls!!Please don't go Aaaawwwwwwww.... I know its a dangerous job!! BUT.not so dangerous job as you think, that's what guys like me, who is good with math especially tally thing are asked to do in football team.

I keep a tally of how many times my opposition goal keeper said "AYYOOO!!" (Which is American equivalent of "Call 911" in Malayalam)
I know! According to the rules laid (Rules always get laid..*sigh) out by my school, we are not supposed to talk in native language i.e Malayalam; but in situations where you get booted in the nuts, nobody is gonna say in grammatically correct sentences like "Oh my God! I think I got hit on my Arachis hypogaea."; you are gonna say F[beep] the rules. I don't think I can f[beep] any more.

There are various reasons, why I don't want to play at the front.Simply put, I don't like close body contact with guys!!

"Only thing I got straight in life is my orientation"-Sorcerer

When I am playing foot ball, I used to sit there, leaning myself to the pole of the goal post, visualizing that I am a Roman king Julius Sorcerer and my soldiers are fighting the battle in front of me. My wing-man is a wonderful football player and with him playing on my side, the foot ball seldom comes to my part of the filed. Disappointing; but still, I get to sit there and visualize myself as Julius Sorcerer without getting disturbed, while my opponent goal keeper is getting kicked in all wrong places and balls.

Now, when the girls in our class, comes to watch us play the football match; that's when all guys go on their 'boosters'. If you are thinking, that these guy morons are trying to impress are probably right; those who watch discovery channel, understands that it's a male thing to impress girls and every species does that prehistoric Hunga Bunga thingy when they see girl species .

Such is the time when when my wing-man plays with much vigor and energy. This is when I could 'actually' hear the painful howls of my 'Opposition goal keeper.' more frequently.. How beaaaautiful!!

Our principal used to say, "Time is precious."; but these days they say "Timing is precious" . Anyway!!

The girls of our class, like a folk of pink pigeons, folks a few meters away from the goal post. This is when I, take into consideration my principal's great advices. also the fact that I have nothing much do as a goal keeper; I go near them and I "COMMUNICATE' of course in Englis. I don't waste my time and opportunity to learn things.


Have you ever experienced ' A series of events'? If you had seen the program on discovery channel about 'Airplane crashes', you would know what is meant by 'Series of events'.

Event 1:
One day, Our library session was just after the lunch break. Me being a kind of Bookosaurus Wormus Rex of book worms, I went into the library, after finishing my lunch, to eat many more pages of an awesome book I was reading.

Event 2:
I wanted to exchange my library book, so I went to my class room to take the novel I wanted to exchange. Citra, was there in the class room with one of her friend. She had written the lyric of some George Michael Song on the black board(which was actually a green board)Citra was fond of George Michael.(That was before he turned Gay , I zink).

I entered my class room, saw what was written on the board. I always has doubts on what is written on the black board.
Blame it on my student instinct, next moment, I was communicating with her about the song which was written on the board.

[ Student see]

Event 3:
That was when my wing-man came into the classroom. He sees all the awesome words about Love written on the blackboard and me and Citra standing along side, talking

Event 4:
Cold war starts! He revoked my rights on his red ink pen,which I shamelessly used to draw awesome border in my book, very thick borders actually.A canyon like Palo Duro Canyon formed between our two tables. Wat ever fell onto his side of the territory belonged to him, which was never returned or was never returned unharmed.
A pitiful case, am I not?

I still didn't understand, why he was angry at me, as the concept of love and all was more complicated than e=mc^2 for me then. I thought love is some kind of cooties.
"OOOH!!! He is trying to protect, innocent me from 'falling' into Love. " That's what I thought. Very caring wing-man. No?

Event 5:
My Wing-man joins the opposite team in football. I tried to reason with him ,as threats didn't work much on footballers. Have you ever wondered that "threats work only for diplomatic people."
I later realized that, you can't reason with footballers too, as they can break your self proclaimed "unbreakable plastic scale" and say "Oh!! I am sorry, was that yours?"


We used to play a football match after our school hours. As soon as I kick the football away from my post and return back to my position, I can see this guy (Formerly my wing-man) dribble the ball towards me. ME!! I Not the Goal Post!! I have personally moved away from the goal post, trying to please him with an empty goal post, but whenever he kicks the ball, the ball diligently found my chest or face or all those spots that hurt.

That was the day when I really sweated out playing football. My fellow teammates actually congratulated for saving so many goals. EEDIATS!!


After a few weeks, of pain and suffering, I got used to all the pain and suffering. Good thing . No? I wanted to write this incident for my Biology Essay on "Adaptation and Darwin's theory" like how people adapt to changes in environment. I had this gut feeling that, my biology sir would not give mark for originality. So I didn't write my experience with Adaptation.

I think a couple of month after my wing-man defected from my side, I learned from very reliable sources that my WING-MAN was actually in love with Citra and he didn't liked me, talking to her.
He thought that I was trying to be ze Shaikh of his camel.

Since he was a man of few words, he prefer to show what he wanted to say with his action, rather than his words. Very caring wing-man. No?
He always wanted to tell his 'feelings' for her, to her; but since he was confused between verb and predicate, he didn't know how to express his feelings in words. Poor thing. No?

After a few days, we patched up, as he ran out of red ink to draw border and I had my new Reynolds Red Ink Pen.

Later! he learned that I was innocent like the comment entries in source codes; very informative but harmless.


After a few years, we met again and we laughed at the incident like two village idiots, laughing at their own reflection in water.

Read another Episode with my Lab partner(The same wing-man)


Nipun said...

It happens sorcy!!
It happens...

Discovery and NGC has really taught us one thing.
A cool post..



Sorcerer said...

thank you buddy for the comment!

Chocolate Lover said...

sweet post sorcy! :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for all that, it was a good read!


Anonymous said...

@ sorcy,

nice blogpost about the school days. i too was a goalkeeper during my school days, just like you, hated library though, and never wanted to "communicate" with chicks, to improve my english or otherwise. basically, i was a dumbo.

i really liked this ... {It's alright, but are you gonna give me that comforting hug. Senorita?] ... you know what i mean.

yup, wing-men are those kind who always keep one in the loop of things, making things a bit interesting and exciting ... but i guess, people dont always think in that line about wing-men ... maybe, people are just frustrated about themselves, and have no complaints about wing-men in general ... and they some people could be men-of-few-words, and often misunderstood by intellectuals.

cheers !

NoFaIrYtAlE said...

OMG, its funny! No one wld hit anothr guy wid a foot ball 4 me!!!
love ur post!!!

SindhuBhairavi said...

:) good one as always.. How do u write like this daily..? they always make one laugh! keep writing!

Saadi said...

Lol...wen we played football NOBODY wanted to be the goalie since it ws pretty evident tht we aimed fr him rather than the goal!

So either he stops it n gets bashed really hard OR he dodges it n lets us score!

Our juniors presented us with a slideshow showing all the guys faces as they got bashed with a foot!!!!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Quirky said...

As usual made me lol/grin in so many places :)

N eyeroll at one place..any guesses ;)

My Foot? said...

Downright filmy! I can almost imagine an Aamir Khan flick on these lines.

It always happens to the guy who isn't interested in the girl. She might have even fallen in love with you, for all you know.

All this for better communication skills. *sigh* English kills.

Fun read. ^_^

paramveer said...

what happened to that girl man...i was reading story to find out who is going to go on ...()... with her!

paramveer said...

btw i still love those reynolds pens that i had collected for making a pen meusium....;)

Sakshi said...

I can totally understand you not wanting to rub yourself against all other of your species... But, you were such a book worm?

I don't recall seeing guys play football in my school. They used to play basket ball to impress upon girls...!!!

Four Dinners said...


I was, in my youth, a 'striker' as they are called now.

I was quite good - well I had a trial with Manchester City in '73 so I must have been fairly good...

I played semi-pro from '77 to '85 then joined a 'Veterans Team' and...for some bizarre reason...played in goal for them.

You are quite correct to say that playing in goal is the bravest place on the pitch...end of.

We all have 'loves' that never happened mate.

For all the one's that did - the risk of being a dickhead...I've had many conquests prior to marriage - you have to move on and remember them fondly.

...or in my case...guiltily sometimes...

As Grant Naylor so rightly said.

"You live, you die. The bit in between is called life. Enjoy"


I'm pissed.

G'night from England.


Wicked Witch of the West said...

Aww you seem all cuddly and sweet now :D

I love the ability of love to make even adults (and even the middle-aged) behave like 3 year olds. Funny.

Uncommon Sense said...

lol.. liked the way u made an interesting post out an simple incident..

very entertaining post..

санжог said...

typical saucer style event!! you.....uhh..and still no girl friend!!

Chanz said...

hahaha at 'julius Sorcerer'

Btw what happened to Citra..??

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA! I like the way football was played in this love story. So, did he finally tell her? Or was it only a crush mistaken for love?

Sorcerer said...


he said his feelings for her..yes he it was not actions..
har har har
Classic case of love thingy

Citra.. Citra played the classic act of cleopatra

yeah!! typical sorcerer style event..Yeah you mean me getting HIT..right?
thats TYpical for you..Mr?

yeah! blog will move on!!!
in line with Life will move on

errr..Me getting hit is CUDDLY and Sweet for you?

@Four Dinners
wow! you a Soccer player.!! awesome..

and yeah thanks for telling me that... Goal Keeping is the Bravest thing to do.

yeah..I love books
Basket ball? Har har har *snort
Basket ball is such a ridiculous game. NO Goal keeper

Well!! she said to him "I didnt see you that way"
poor guy. no?

@my foot
err..actually..she was glad..when I move away after my communication lessons. I am good at observing see

eyeroll at "where Iam a good Mallu ankutty. "Right?
ha ha

wow! slideshow..thats prettty cool one.

you a goal keeper!!
:) thanks for the comment

thanks for the comment
Iam writing about how iam writing everyday

Dont be so sure..these days people use baseball bats
thanks for the comment

thanks for the comment

@chocolate lover
thanks for the comment

Me said...

oho! for 'convenience' u called her citra!! and the oly straight thing abt me thing!!! hilarious!

Sorcerer said...

yeah!! I dont know if she is reading this blog.
name changed to protect identity.

Insignia said...

Hmmm...Where is Citra now? :-P
School events are always wonderful memories.

Sorcerer said...

citra..Errr..Lost contact.dont kno!
yeah miss those days!

Sid said...

Good 1 dude...i can understand d pain but did u get 2 enjoy d Citra? Was this worth it?

Sorcerer said...

Enjoy Citra..err..I noticed the pun..
Theres a drink called Citra too..right?
naaa.. i was more interested in communication.

Meenakshi said...

loved - "Oh my God! I think I got hit on my Arachis hypogaea."

sorc, you obsessed with camels and oil wells??

Sorcerer said...

every guy who is sensible should be obsessed with oilwells..I dont see camel in that way..and please dont call it an obsession.
Its just to carry the barrel of oils to the waiting ships in my harbour

Anonymous said...

@ meenakshi,

you got hit on your "Arachis hypogaea" ?

it means you just lost your fertility.

oops ! ... sorry !

cheers !

Megha said...

:D Nice one :) and what was that last line ? like two village idiots, laughing at their own reflection in water.....funny

Sorcerer said...


actually, its kinda like creative writing gone bad.I wanted to say..we met again after long time, looked back at the years and incidents we had together and laughed at it.