.::LOVE THINGY::.

This is an incident that happened during my school days. Yes I was really hurt in the process cuz of this.
*sigh

[I know!! It's alright, but are you gonna give me that comforting hug. Senorita?]
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There was this chick, in our class, when we were doing our +1 . For convenience sake let's call her Citra. She was cute. One thing common in between us was that we both were in the same class.

Every guy, liked to flirt with her, but I was not every guy. I was talking to her , for an entirely different reason(NOOO!!! remember:"Where Iam a good Mallu Ankutty" thingy).Our English teacher, had asked me to improve my communication skill and I was talking to this girl to improve my English Communication Skill. Like you, everybody misunderstood my intention.

I used to read thick books from our library which has English characters in it. We had awesome books in our library from Champak to Encyclopedia Britannica. I won't write anything bad about this library because, I really loved that place and the dust and the books.

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Meet my wing-man. My desk mate, lab partner and partner in various crimes. We used to be on the same team while playing football.(Americans call it Soccer).I take this opportunity to say that, I used to be the goal keeper for my team;Yes! Girls!!Please don't go Aaaawwwwwwww.... I know its a dangerous job!! BUT.not so dangerous job as you think, that's what guys like me, who is good with math especially tally thing are asked to do in football team.

I keep a tally of how many times my opposition goal keeper said "AYYOOO!!" (Which is American equivalent of "Call 911" in Malayalam)
I know! According to the rules laid (Rules always get laid..*sigh) out by my school, we are not supposed to talk in native language i.e Malayalam; but in situations where you get booted in the nuts, nobody is gonna say in grammatically correct sentences like "Oh my God! I think I got hit on my Arachis hypogaea."; you are gonna say F[beep] the rules. I don't think I can f[beep] any more.


There are various reasons, why I don't want to play at the front.Simply put, I don't like close body contact with guys!!

"Only thing I got straight in life is my orientation"-Sorcerer

When I am playing foot ball, I used to sit there, leaning myself to the pole of the goal post, visualizing that I am a Roman king Julius Sorcerer and my soldiers are fighting the battle in front of me. My wing-man is a wonderful football player and with him playing on my side, the foot ball seldom comes to my part of the filed. Disappointing; but still, I get to sit there and visualize myself as Julius Sorcerer without getting disturbed, while my opponent goal keeper is getting kicked in all wrong places and balls.

Now, when the girls in our class, comes to watch us play the football match; that's when all guys go on their 'boosters'. If you are thinking, that these guy morons are trying to impress girls...you are probably right; those who watch discovery channel, understands that it's a male thing to impress girls and every species does that prehistoric Hunga Bunga thingy when they see girl species .

Such is the time when when my wing-man plays with much vigor and energy. This is when I could 'actually' hear the painful howls of my 'Opposition goal keeper.' more frequently.. How beaaaautiful!!

Our principal used to say, "Time is precious."; but these days they say "Timing is precious" . Anyway!!

The girls of our class, like a folk of pink pigeons, folks a few meters away from the goal post. This is when I, take into consideration my principal's great advices. also the fact that I have nothing much do as a goal keeper; I go near them and I "COMMUNICATE' of course in Englis. I don't waste my time and opportunity to learn things.

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Have you ever experienced ' A series of events'? If you had seen the program on discovery channel about 'Airplane crashes', you would know what is meant by 'Series of events'.
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Event 1:
One day, Our library session was just after the lunch break. Me being a kind of Bookosaurus Wormus Rex of book worms, I went into the library, after finishing my lunch, to eat many more pages of an awesome book I was reading.

Event 2:
I wanted to exchange my library book, so I went to my class room to take the novel I wanted to exchange. Citra, was there in the class room with one of her friend. She had written the lyric of some George Michael Song on the black board(which was actually a green board)Citra was fond of George Michael.(That was before he turned Gay , I zink).

I entered my class room, saw what was written on the board. I always has doubts on what is written on the black board. Blame it on my student instinct, next moment, I was communicating with her about the song which was written on the board.

*sigh.[ Student instinct..you see]

Event 3:
That was when my wing-man came into the classroom. He sees all the awesome words about Love written on the blackboard and me and Citra standing along side, talking ....


Event 4:
Cold war starts! He revoked my rights on his red ink pen,which I shamelessly used to draw awesome border in my book, very thick borders actually.A canyon like Palo Duro Canyon formed between our two tables. Wat ever fell onto his side of the territory belonged to him, which was never returned or was never returned unharmed.
*sigh
A pitiful case, am I not?

I still didn't understand, why he was angry at me, as the concept of love and all was more complicated than e=mc^2 for me then. I thought love is some kind of cooties.
"OOOH!!! He is trying to protect, innocent me from 'falling' into Love. " That's what I thought. Very caring wing-man. No?

Event 5:
My Wing-man joins the opposite team in football. I tried to reason with him ,as threats didn't work much on footballers. Have you ever wondered that "threats work only for diplomatic people."
I later realized that, you can't reason with footballers too, as they can break your self proclaimed "unbreakable plastic scale" and say "Oh!! I am sorry, was that yours?"

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We used to play a football match after our school hours. As soon as I kick the football away from my post and return back to my position, I can see this guy (Formerly my wing-man) dribble the ball towards me. ME!! I Not the Goal Post!! I have personally moved away from the goal post, trying to please him with an empty goal post, but whenever he kicks the ball, the ball diligently found my chest or face or all those spots that hurt.

That was the day when I really sweated out playing football. My fellow teammates actually congratulated for saving so many goals. EEDIATS!!

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After a few weeks, of pain and suffering, I got used to all the pain and suffering. Good thing . No? I wanted to write this incident for my Biology Essay on "Adaptation and Darwin's theory" like how people adapt to changes in environment. I had this gut feeling that, my biology sir would not give mark for originality. So I didn't write my experience with Adaptation.

I think a couple of month after my wing-man defected from my side, I learned from very reliable sources that my WING-MAN was actually in love with Citra and he didn't liked me, talking to her.
He thought that I was trying to be ze Shaikh of his camel.
Since he was a man of few words, he prefer to show what he wanted to say with his action, rather than his words. Very caring wing-man. No?
He always wanted to tell his 'feelings' for her, to her; but since he was confused between verb and predicate, he didn't know how to express his feelings in words. Poor thing. No?
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After a few days, we patched up, as he ran out of red ink to draw border and I had my new Reynolds Red Ink Pen.

Later! he learned that I was innocent like the comment entries in source codes; very informative but harmless.
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After a few years, we met again and we laughed at the incident like two village idiots, laughing at their own reflection in water.

Read another Episode with my Lab partner(The same wing-man)
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