Saturday, January 9, 2010

.:: OBSERVATION ::.


Observation, yes! that is something I am blessed with; err...Okay..I know most of us are.
*sigh
My keen sense of observation, has saved me many troubles; You guessed it right. I am the first one to find crack in compound walls also find where the compound walls are lower and easy to jump over, when chased. Awesome. No?

I think, I was born with this awesomeness. I remember, one day, correcting a bunch of adults, that was when I was a kid, a toddler.. let me put it this way....A genius toddler.
*wink

(Open the windows! if you are feeling suffocated cuz of all self propulsion, this post is full of that.)

These bunch of adults were trying to put some machine parts together, cuz they took the parts apart alright, but was not really sure to put the things back on.( In life Most of the things are complicated than the underwears, Got my so called drift?).

I was playing(Analyzing) with this, so called box in which the machine came in. I was over the the 'gaaa gaaa gooo goo age', that means I could understand what people talk and I could respond to them in understandable words.

These adults were standing there looking at this machine and the lead guy, who was our family doctor had a 'handle' in his hands. These 'bunch of adults', were not sure, where the handle goes and how it goes into the main component.
I looked at the 'constipated grimace' on their faces (Which is now my "First thing you will notice about me") and understood that they were in deep shit.

I with my total innocence asked them, in valluvanadan mallu language which could be translated in International Language as "Why are you looking at the machine?"
I think, these 'bunch of adults' didn't even look at me or cared to respond to my genius query. My words sounded to them like a tiny fart in front of a whistling train.
*sigh

Even as a kid, my heart goes for the helpless and the morons or both combined.
With my awesome analytical and observational skill I understood their problem and told them

"The box has the picture of the machine. So.."

They took(actually snatched) the box from my hand and fixed the machine.

My little mind, whispered something in kid language which could be translated into present day as "MORONS!!".

Dramatization

The Doctor who is the lead guy, took me in his hands, smeared my forehead with machine grease...and said "SIMBA.."

End of dramatization


____________________

These inbuilt quality for keen observation and jumping...err..galloping into conclusion helped me a lot during my days of learning.

One another such incident.

I was in class 9. My beloved Hindi madam, gave me and my buddy imposition to write certain poem 10 times. (imposition is when you write the same thing again and again in your notebook, wasting precious paper and ink. Nope! We can't copy paste on paper those days, only thing you can do is "undo", that too if you have an eraser at the back end of your pencil)

I believe in this theory that "Life will find a way".

I 'observed' that it was the season of 'conjunctiva'. I also observed that my friend had a bottle of liquid pain balm rich in "Menthol".
The Hindi class was after the lunch break. We applied a little bit of menthol in the eyes and washed our faces before the classes started. The eyes naturally became red.
Now only part to perfect was to act sick. Well!! We could have won an Oscar just for that act.
We sat at the last bench. Our teacher came to the class, found that we both had 'red eyes'. She ignored us like the old 3.5 inch floppy disk.
____________________

I worked on my skill and I became more 'professional' in this 'analysis ' thingy.

Let me tell you my fine analysis thingy I did on my Ex CEO.
That was when I was working with the R&D division of one IT Major. The CEO of that company, a very fine gentleman, really awesome person comes in.

Him: Can I use your cabin?

Me:Yeah! Please.

Him: Close the door, on your way out.

I closed the door and went to do my 'research and analysis' on something I downloaded.

It was very unusual for him to be in my cabin, when he has a huge room, with all the cool things and coolest things and ultra cool gadgets.
hmmm..Likely....but highly unlikely...

I could see him through the corner of my eyes .(A good soldier, always keep an eye on hostiles.)
He was looking at his mobile phone and was writing down something on a piece of paper. It could be the contact numbers, who knows?

He [Over intercom]: Can you bring me some blank papers.
Me:Yes Sir. [ read: Aye aye captain]

I took some paper from the printer stack and went into the cabin(MY CABIN).
I glanced over his papers and found that he was writing down the phone numbers from his phone number.
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHAT THE HECK ?

Me: Sir, Can I ask you something sir?

Him: yes!Go ahead

Me:Are you planning to resign?

Him[ Totally shocked] : NO!!

Me:Alright. I am sorry, I just asked.

As I was walking out of the room, he called me back.

Him: Who told you that I am going to quit?

Me:I just guessed. Sir.

Him:Sit Down!! Tell me.How did you know about it?

Me:Hmm..First of all, you were writing down the phone numbers from your office mobile phone to a paper,which I thought was highly unlikely unless you are planning to surrender the phone.

Him:What if I was changing the number?

Me: But the brand new business card of yours has the same number.
I said that pointing to his business card on the table.

He sits back on the chair.
I sat with a gulp and a smile, that Jerry mouse does to Tom, before being chased out.

He: Yes, I am planning to resign and now you know about it. Keep the information sealed.Only 4 person knows now.

Me:Sure sir.

..
..

For those who are wondering about my near suicide mission.He was an ultra cool person, I have worked with. He groomed us into what we are today. .[Apart from the dumbness, which I blame on climate change]. Asking stupid question was one privilege, that was included in the work contract.

Didn't I tell you, he taught me the corporate rule "We Never make mistakes, we can deny the noncompliance categorically."

above all

He taught me to question authority, if the path is wrong.

____________________

The recent event in my awesome observation saga, saved our ass from an elephant ass. We were coming to Kerala from Bangalore. Me and my friend was cruising through the 'Bandipur Forest'.

Me: Watch out buddy!! We got elephants on the move.

Buddy:Elephants? Nope.They don't come out at this time.

Me: Yes they do..

SCREEEEEEEEECCCHHH...

Buddy:That was close.

Me:Yeah!

Buddy:How did you know, elephant was on the roads.You smelled em?

Me:I saw the elephant dung on the road and I could see steam coming off it, when light from the headlights fell on it.So kinda knew that the animal is somewhere near.

Buddy:We could have been in deep shit.

Me:Literally!!
____________________

The moral of the blog post is. "Keep your eyes open, and don't grow up."

Another Observation post

__________________________+


30 comments:

санжог said...

he he he he,

i like that don't grow up or you'll turn stupid!!

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog
reverse darwinism in progress eh?

Quirky said...

Ahhhhh.. suf..ffoo..ccatt..eddd...Seelff prroo..pul..ssion ;)

But moral of story..yejj yejj guruji..will follow!

Sorcerer said...

@quirky
haha... everyones so smart when young..then the stupid fear of losing kicks in. that's where the whole system breaks down.
nyway!! Insanity prevails..I fit in with this insane world!

Quirky said...

N thank you. This is for something Sanjog told me :)

Chocolate Lover said...

hehehe!
nice post sorcy :D

Sorcerer said...

@quirky
*faints

@chocolate lover

thank you chocolady!!

Insignia said...

Keen observer you are :-)

"Dont grow up" - Aye Aye Captain(with a bow)

:-)

Swetha Guptha said...

Ha Ha !!! at first I didnt open my windows n now everything including the doors are open and in still need of O2.

tristarfivestar said...

I LOVE A BLOG WITH A MORAL!

Meenakshi said...

You used to write with a pencil with a eraser on the back in 9TH std????

We started writing with pen from 4th Std.

Loved the "first thing u'd notice" entry by you...

hehehe

Observation.. smirk smirk.. bu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (Can't stop)

PS: Love the lesson your Ex CEO gave.

bondgal_rulz said...

Mast post. Loved the saving from the elephant's ass. ;)

Cheers

theschmuck said...

i could use your eyes.hmm just sayin' :P Awesome!double thumbs up!

Megha said...

loved the punches...simba, and the floppy disk ;)

mia999 said...

lol! I loved the red eyes story - Hindi teachers were extremely annoying. I hated the subject in school.

Mr.Poo said...

My mum told me, that when I was a little shithead, I observed my dad removing rust from his car with sandpaper. I wanted to help him, and began polishing the door from the other side. I thought I was a hero but actually we didn`t celebrate it that way.

funkyrave said...

Awesome man!! Ur mental notes and instructions in the braces were nerve tickling funny! Creativity up to the brim..
Steamy shit, Climate change,and Most of things are like underwear.. LMAO
Seems ur post finally turned a really bad day to a good one!
Keep posting
Cheerio ;-)

Barbie Jones said...

I guess the CEO wanted to kick back and lay low for a while hmmm?I can't say as I can blame him, being on the top is not all what it's cracket up to be I have found that out the hard way,it's painful there mighty painful.Why do you think so many men have heart attacks in their 40's?Stress, I tell you.Men are killing themselves for status,money and fabulous looking young goldiggers.

sanely insane said...

good shit man, i also manage stuff like that sometimes :)

SindhuBhairavi said...

:) that was nice! reading you daily is becoming part of my routine now.. infact it is for many others here.. its a sure bet to make one smile.. the instances are so many that i dont want to list them all here.. comments in the brackets valare adhikkam nannayirinnu..

May your day be blessed with a lot of such events so that we will get our share of it in the blog!! have a great day Sorcy!!

rohini said...

i agree with SB, this is in my case too...but wat is valare adhikkam nannayirinnu....

SindhuBhairavi said...

rohini.. that means.. "it was very very goood" in malayalam! :)

Oxymoron said...

hey...even my heart goes for morons...that constipated grimace thing was hilarious...:D
loved the moral of the story to..

Sorcerer said...

@oxymorons
yeah!! when we were kids, we sometimes think "Why are grown ups so dumb".
:)

@Rohini
:) thank you for the comment

@SindhuBhairavi
thank you for coming here everyday and dropping in a comment.
:)

@sanelyinsane
yeah! we need to keep the eyes and ears open. :)

@barbie jones
I agree with you.
but.. life is a game..we need to play it.no?

@funkyrave
thank you dude.thanks for the comment

@Mr.Poo
Hey!! long time no see..
where you been?
nyway!! yeah..we are all genius..ya know!
;)

@mia999
yeah! I was always an outstanding student.

@megha
thank you..thank you..
thank you

@the schmuch
aha?
hmm... errr..
thanks for the comment

@bondgalz_rulz
that was actually a very close shave.

@meenakshi
I didnt mean.me writing with pencil..i was telling the UNDO option was only given by pencil
:)

thank you for the comment

@tristarfivestar
hmm.thanks.. :)
for the comment

@shwetha guptha
haha..thank you for the comment

@insignia
aye aye..comrade :)
aye aye

Saurabh Panshikar said...

Goo Goo Gaa Gaa... Goo Gaa Goo Gaa!

This means I loved the post! Not once have you let the readers down! Keep goin Simba!

Sorcerer said...

@saurabh
Simbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
thank u for the comment

Rex Venom said...

Strange wonderful mad moments all the more enjoyable for their every day-ness.
Rock on!

Sorcerer said...

@Rex
hey!!!
did you notice that

moments and dayness rhymes in your sentence
wow!!
thanks for the comment

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