Thursday, July 24, 2008


This incident happened in my 10th Standard, after the Model Exams.Mr.Biology comes to the class and distributes the answer sheets.Every one got their answer sheets except me


Mr.Biology: Hope you all have recieved your answer sheets.

Me: [*Rises my hands.] Sir...I...

Mr.Biology: [ Stares at me], Well... You can come to the Biology Lab to collect it.

Me: [*Sighs! Whats next].Yes ...sir.

My Wing Man: Royally Screwed Eh?In Biology? [Surprised Face..Did I see a fly comin out of his mouth?]

Me: [Gives him a beeg Smile.] Shut Up Dork!!

My Wing Man: Do you want me to come with ya?

Me: Na...This is a solo mission dodo.


After the class I rush after my Biology sir to the Biology Lab.The long walk to the Biology lab was silent and took longer than expected. The corridors ahead seem long and twisted. There was death written on both sides of the walls.[ Too much coffee..Too much coffee...The coffee Iam having now is helping my brain cells color the incident with VIBGYOR.]..

Location :The Biology Lab

+2 Students were having their Lab Session at that time in the lab.The whole lab was fully packed.The so called Senior Dorks were looking at me and grinning. Idiots..they don't know why I was there at that time, but they really knew something was not right.Duh! The brain waves.Again too much price to pay for being famous.I entered the Biology Lab ..taking a deep breathe.

Mr Biology: Can you bring the Microscope to my table.

Me: Yes Sir [*Went to get the Microscope thingy from the Shelf ][*I was thinking of the long wait, till he finishes off his lecture to the +2 Poipils then embarssing me in front of the Senior chics and Dorks.Hitler Guy! Sadistic... huh!][*I came back and placed the Microscope thingy on his table]

Mr:Biology: How much marks do you really expect for this paper?

Me: Sir, have done quiet well.

Mr.Biology: Really? But you havent.

Me: [*Gulp. *Treason...Somebody switched the papers.Confused.A conspiracy theory in the making.Is the CIA involved?]

Mr.Biology: [*Hands me the answer sheets.] Focus your answer paper under the microscope.Damn it.I can't read your smaaaaall handwriting. I will read the questions.I want you to place the answer sheet under the microscope and then read out the answer loud to me.Dont read what is not written on it.Iam trusting you.[He said that with a grin] You correct it.I will tell you the marks, add the marks to the left side.

Me: [*Gulp..],[*Giggles and laughs in the background],[*Sweating..though the Fan was whooosh whooosh at full speed]. .Sir... [The only word came out of my mouth]

Mr Biology: How do you manage to write so small and May be you can read it.but my boy.I am old, so will be the persons who will be checking your answer for your board exams. the paper under the microscope.

Me: [*Gulp... Sighs!!!],[Giggles and laughs in the backgroung getting louder and louder]

Mr Biology to the whole Class:Yeah, Silence please.This could happen to you too.

Me: [*Giving the whole class a cold stare.][*Yeah ..Don't laugh at other people's 'Situations'.Dorks!!!. Wont you good students be frying the cockroaches in front of you, over the spirit lamp and be eating it, rather than watch my facial muscles for the sligtest twitch it makes.]

Mr Biology to me: What you looking at?Do it..Place it under the microscope.

As I was about to commit to that high pitched command.calling all forces of nature to rescue me from such a dreaded situation....The Library Madam came in to talk something to the Biology Sir.


.......Time went by....


Mr Biology: Yeah, I will give you the answer sheet, after correcting.But I may call you when I need your help.Now you may go back to the class.


[Felt the same relief of taking a leak after a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ]

Library Madam: Whats this about?Why is he here?

Mr Biology: [Hands her my answer sheets.] Madam,can you read that?

Library Madam:[Laughs],How do you manage to write it soo small?

Me: [*Yeah..In future I want to specialise in NANO technology.]

Me: [Confused as to laugh or just keep it zipped]Sir,Can I go?

Mr Biology:Yeah.I will call you when I need you here.

I walk past ...cold stares and stooopid comments from the +2 intellectuals.Autographs...anyone?


Tuesday, July 22, 2008


This incident happened when I was in my doing my +1. [Yeah! meim dasvee pass hey ]

I happened to be a backbencher but used to be recognised and honored by my principal for every happening in my school campus. guessed it right, fame brings its own problems with it.No wonder people like Marc Anthony, Tomcruise etc hide their faces behind beeg goggles; unfortunately my campus rules didnt permit me from wearing anyof those face hiding stuffs.

The subject I used to score quiet well used to be, the subject biology [Did I hear you say...aaaaaaaaawwwww .Zip it..Zip it.] +1 used to be like a vacation academic year, because all the teachers want 10th and 12th students to score well.So +1 students are kinda spared and the 10th and 12th students are grilled to the core.
But then again my comrades....we feel like convicts sentenced to death and awaiting execution.

In the Biology exam, the essay part, I wrote my heart out on the topic "Deforestation and Its Impact on Earth". Yeah any politician can speak on that topic for hours, so I could write an 8 page essay on that.
Well, having completed the rest of the questions in biology quiet well and having enough time to spare for a lengthy Essay I was not taxing myself on the words and yeah even paper.

Finally the day came when the answer sheets were passed back to us.
To my surprise and having cracked my poor brain cells and the muscles on my arms and fingers, the Biology sir only gave me 1/2 mark for my Essay.


The dork who was sitting next to me got,well good marks.
This calls for the COMRADE inside me taking the Rose out of the GUN BARREL and Squishin it with boots.
I went to meet my teacher Mr.Biology.

The conversation is as follows

Me:Sir...Err.... I ve written the essay and...

Biology sir: Okay.Whats with it.

Me:Sir..Ive done quiet well and only half mark for the whole thing.[Trying to be calm and puppy eyes]

Biology sir:*Takes the answer sheets from my hands..thumbs through the papers and the 8 page essay.

Me:Sir I've written it well.Almost all the points are included.

Biology sir:Yeah I see it.Just tell me something

Me:yeah [* Prepared myself to tackle the toughest question he would push on me ]

Biology sir:How are papers made..I mean what is the raw material?


Biology sir: Whats your topic for essay?

Me:Deforestation and its impact on earth, Sir [*Said that like a good soldier]

Biology sir:So..How many papers did you waste for a 6 marks Essay?

Me:Sir, But

Biology sir:I am not gonna give you any marks..Practice what you preach.

Me:Sir,This is [* This is daylight robbery This is insane.]

Biology sir:Yeah..take is as a point. Firstly, Don't waste paper.Secondly,Don't write too much for a 6 marks question.I dont want you to repeat this in 12th.

Me:Sir,I wont do it again

Biology sir:
*Takes the paper from my hands and writes in BEEEEG LETTERS in my answer sheet on top of the essay. "NATURAL WASTE"

[Did I Make some noise out of protest? I wouldn't have!!! Was I in shock or in COMA?What does he mean by Natural waste?Is that a personal Insult? Too many questions to answer ]

Me:Thank you sir,

Walks out of the LAB..feeling ........AAAAAAAAAARRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH.... I wasted "my ink".


Wednesday, July 16, 2008


This is a true life story which happened in an UNOFFICIAL Tea Coffee Sutta meet on 13th July 2008 4:30 PM.

Location:Forum Mall.
Characters:Juggie, Sorcerer, Sid,! @M !N LOVE
4:30 PM IST


Wow! A beautiful hot... July Sunday. We The Commandos of ECF planned to meetup at Forum mall, Bangalore to click pics with the Maclaren Mercedez Benz Chic.

The display on my mobile litup in its pale white luminance

SMS from Owner Mama.A.K.A jUggie.

"Where art thou?"

I Called him back.

"Come to the Palm trees thingy.Iam here." I replied.

Seconds tick by and then a heavy hand gripped my shoulders.
Enter jUggie..dressed in a Black TShirt and a well...a black cloth with something written on it on tied around his well..head.
We took some snaps of the Mclaren Babe and went to the first floor to have a "BIRDS EYE VIEW' of the Maclaren thingy
The ride to the First floor went without any incidents beating the probability factor of one accident per 374932749284724^n rotations.
We found a quiet spot and were talking on errr.... Flopped TCS Mumbai Meet and related things about TCS and the future of TCS as a major Corporate.

Of course we were on high alert for inbound Boggies [Read Bodies].
Over the conversation Me and jUggie was transacting coordinates and marking Inbound Position of pottential threats[ Read Treats..for eyes]

Juggie was talking about PUMA and he was counting the ppl who was wearing PUMA.
I seriously didnt know that jUggie was wearing a PUMA Tshirt and it took me an hour or so to realise he was infact wearing one of those PUMA thingy and thats the reason PUMA came in between our intellectual debates and conversations.

Moments crawl the eyeballs kinda got numb or i don't know if it was the network traffic on the nervous system..Processing shoo much information in short span of time and storing it in the Photo memory storage space.
ENTER Mr.Iam In Love [Read Mr.! @M !N LOVE... for Now]
! @M !N LOVE... : Hello.Hows you doing?
jUggie:Hey.You are here
Me:Hey comrade.Hows ya man?

Seems like we questioned each other on the 'Hows you doing' part and never cared to answer.
Yes, We were having too much distratcions to deal with.
Who cares "Hows ya doing'.The answer is self explanatory.

A Info Update was done on ANKIT [ The soul on vacation ] by Mr.! @M !N LOVE...
Correction:AN Info Update was done on ANKIT [ The soul on vacation ] by Mr.! @M !N LOVE...

Moments Tick By..
Enter Sid..Smilin and waving .a Happy Bunny.
We went to look at the posters and the latest movie release in Bangalore at PVR Cinemas.
Juggie took his photos which are now available for download from his Orkut Picture Book.
[Viewer Description advised after seeing the pics]
Random thoughts and dialogues were exchanged between us.
We didnt take the "Transit mall" which is the default option to hangout,sit and sip on the MNC drinks as the inflation was now high and we wanted to be the future Multi Trillionires.
Soon some chemical reaction happened in jUGGies head and he said.."LETS GO TO JAYNAGAR Shopping Complex"..well folks,its not a complex its a series of vertically and
horizontally aligned shops on both sides of the roadway.

We decided to move to Jayanagar Shopping Complex.
We came down to the First Floor,Forum Mall.



! @M !N LOVE... ECF COMMANDO spots a kid walking with random footsteps. His Sixth sense fires a signal through the nerves to the CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM.

His subconscious memory analyzes the situation and environmental parameters and declares the Kid as LOST AND LOOKING FOR PARENTS.

! @M !N LOVE... ECF COMMANDO Scans the Area and tries to find a face match...but..the Search Yielded No RESULTS.
To confirm his results returned by his ESP[ Extra Sensory Perception] and INFRA EYE SCAN, he reads the Kids Mind.
That memory scanning didn't end up in a bad sector and returned the Code ..404 MOMA NOT FOUND.

He rushes behind the kid chasing the kid down the shopping floor.The Kid began its random POINT TO POINT WALKING/Running[It was an art];giving the SUPER HERO A Chase.
The Super Hero grabs the kid by his arms and pins the small kid down and stopped his r a n d o m o v e m e n t s across the shopping floor.

jUggie the Commando realizing the situation looks for the Guy with feathers in his cap.
Juggis Mental GPS System provides him the coordinates and he calls for the Feathered Security Guy.

The Other 2 Commandos were trying to asses the situation and was acting as a backup if things go bad or worse.

Super Hero ! @M !N LOVE... COmmando hands over the KID to the "AUTHORITY'.
Soon another FEMALE AUTHORITY Came down and both ! @M !N LOVE... Commando and The Feathered Guy, who happened to be the MALE AUTHORITY gave the Kid to the FEMALE AUTHORITY.

Then there was a woman who came running in slow motion which happened to be the MOMA the then LOST but Now rescued Kid.

She Said "Thanks a lot"..But ! @M !N LOVE... THE SUPER HERO WAS NO WHERE TO BE SEEN. not like Spider man who waits for "Thanks" and some cheesy kisses [Ya know what I mean]
! @M !N LOVE... Commando SUPER HERO has more people to save,So excuse time for complements; more than that he needed to submit his research papers with the AUTHORITIES, which is a naked truth.