Monday, June 28, 2010


Chinese saying holds true,always, like sprite..."sab kuch clear hai". Thought I would try and put some additional gyan into some of them.

Each of the Chinese quotes are plucked directly from the source and carefully crafted into words of awesomeness unlimited, and blogged at source.

The green ones are Chinese quotes. The sentence in rgb(102, 0, 0) is carefully crafted saying thingy.


1)Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know what's in a person's heart.

Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your network; over a long period of time, you get to know what's the cellphones battery power.

2)Do not count your chickens before they hatch

Do not count your biscuits before you open the packet.

3)Early bird gets the worm

Early bachelor takes out the garbage.

4)A fall into a ditch makes you wiser

A Fall into a bitch makes you wiser

5)A good neighbor is a found treasure

A good neighbor is a world bank

6)keep your friends close and your enemies closer

Keep your friends close and your beer closer.

7)Do not insult the crocodile until you’ve crossed the river

Do not insult the manager until you you've another offer letter.

8)The first hen that cackles is the one that laid the egg.

The first man that cackles is the one that found the bug.

9)Teachers open the door You enter by yourself.

You enter by yourself, bouncers push you out.

10)A thorn defends the rose harming only those who would steal the blossom

A thorn defends those chicks harming only those who would feel their bottom.

11)Beat your drum inside the house to spare the neighbors

Wear headphones while watching porn to spare the neighbors.

12)Behind an able man there are always other able men

If there is an able man behind another able man they are gay
and happy

Better go to heaven in rags than to hell in embroidery

Better go to heaven in rags than to hell in g-string.

A clever person turns great troubles into little ones and little ones into none at all.

A clever person get's married and turns no troubles into great troubles.

15)A dog in desperation will leap over a wall

A man in desperation will leap for a pig.

A fall into a ditch makes you wiser.

A fall into a marriage makes you stupid

17) A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef

A fallen lighthouse means you have an erectile dysfunction.

18)He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.

He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not Google a question remains a fool forever.

Oh!..It's alright!!You are welcome!

Saturday, June 26, 2010



Thursday, June 24, 2010

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Ed and CRASH- From the Movie :ICE AGE


This blog post is made for the Queens Blog which is about LOVE! In compliance with her Order QT0029A Dated 21st June 2010.

He came out of the shower frisking his hair, playfully whistling a line of song from Matchbox 20, a bath towel loosely wrapped around his waist.
He smiled ,seeing her sitting on the edge of his table, which was near a window, that opened into the garden. Sunlight shone bright through the parted, lime green colored window curtains. Shadows played Tic- Tac -Toe with the check patterns on his bed sheet

She sat there silent. She looked brilliant. She was calm.

His Computer was churning out the codes, he had fed in for compiling before he went into the shower. Only the loud hum of the P.C fan filled the room. She and him was all alone.

With a wicked and playful grin, he moved towards her. She always tempted him in more than one way. She was always with him, when he needed her, enlightening him up and giving him that "mood" to work. It was in her that he found his solace.

He stood near her. His computer monitor had flashed a few warnings and exceptions. It listed ..quiet a few on that list..
"That could always wait" he said in low hushed voice.

His cold fingers closed around her waist!!


He felt his nerves tinge, as he felt her warmth. There was a new rush of emotions in him. He embraced her..
He pulled her closer, his lips parted to take her in him!!
Time seem to stand still. He was experiencing the bullet time like those in the movies.

He placed his lips on her...His nostrils widened as to feel her sensual smell..
"mmmmmmmmm...." A moan of ecstasy escaped him.

Her hot steamy warmth, on his face..was soo *cushy mushy gooy gooy for him.

He took a little sip out of his coffee..
"Aaaaahhh...Blisssss!!!!" He closed his eyes..his tongue rolling in his mouth. His taste pallets bathed in the glory of coffee..

"Coffee..Kick starts my brain" He said to himself with an eyebrow raised and a twisted smile.

"You don't drink coffee...You make love to it"-QMT

*cushy mushy gooy gooy : Not A French Dish made out of mashed potato. Its an emotion which is "hard" to explain by words

I suggest (shamelessly ofcourse)


Monday, June 21, 2010


" I thought they would be afraid of me."-Rayne

Saturday, June 19, 2010


Monsoon is here. Beautiful evenings here in Bangalore and pretty nice weather too, almost everyday.
Cool evening breeze..splendid!! Having a wonderful time here, so good!!!

Every monsoon brings me good old memories, particularly of a flash flood into my mind; that happened way back.. when I was still a school goer, in Kerala. These memories are like the good old gas...all it need is a catalyst to spill over!

It was the monsoon, if I remember correctly(I know... pathetic effort to make it dramatic) it rained for 3 full days and it was still raining. We were happy as the water began to fill up the many wrinkles on the surface of the earth. (That's richly creative sentence, if you failed to notice it!)

I watched from the balcony of my home,the horizon was cloudy like lungs of a smoker, the whole atmosphere had the ambiance as you were watching it through an X-Ray film. There was no wind, it was calm, but only the sound of the rain, which resembled my classroom.

The paddy fields began to fill up.The water guzzled out through various streams into the low lying paddy fields, filling it up with mucky muddy water. It was no different from the color of the tea I was drinking.
The state declared an emergency and schools in places with flood situations were shut down. That news didn't make me happy though, is one social setting I miss much during those erratic power cut, when sitting at home watching T.V.
The water canal or aqueduct as it is technically called , which wound up its way through the paddy fields, like a beeg python, was in its full fury.

I was mesmerized by the fury of nature, just like the curves of Monica Bellucci.

That's when one of my friend, 2 year senior from my school, who is also my neighbor decided to jump in. I watched him waddle through the water filled walk way , at times jumping like a frog from one lil puddle to the next. At times he stops, then bend down to pull up his chappals which dug into the cushy mushy muddy bottom. Watching it was fun sitting at the comfort of home.
Finally he reached my home, and made himself comfortable in the veranda.

He is our team lead because he claimed it to be our team lead.Though he was shorter, just being the senior in our school we let him have that position. "Never argue with an idiot" says my cute English madam.

Two more of my friends popped up, with a banana leaf over their heads. It's God's punishment for forgetting your umbrella. They kinda behave like Ed and Eddy from Ed Edd n Eddy cartoon show. That explains everything about them.

So we four people, set out of our home, following the foot steps of our Team lead and avoiding stepping in places, where he bends down to pull up his chappals. We reached near the flooded paddy fields.
As we sat on a compound wall and was watching the scenic flood,we saw a coconut floating in water.

" does it float?" asked a genius among us.

My team lead couldn't give the curious genius, a satisfactory answer as gravity, density, buoyancy etc was way beyond his comprehension and it was all rocket surgery for him.
But having the unique ability of observation, which is not well appreciated by my teachers during exam time, I managed to give the curious genius a very satisfactory answer.

"A coconut floats in water by its antenna." I told him and he was easily convinced.

I also told him that coconuts use its antenna to find direction..just like cockroaches.
Since I was a kid, I had observed many things in and around us .At times trying things out in extreme cases. I have observed that:
1)Centipede does not have reverse gear
2)Window curtains burns faster than door curtains.
3)Its not a good idea to count biscuits before you open the packet.

This observation was made into a classic quote

"Never count your biscuits before you open the packet"-Sorcerer .

4)Never stand behind a fatso who faints during the school assembly.
5)Keep awesome opinions in physics and chemistry to yourself as the mathematical evidence to prove my point has to be evolved in the future.
6)A burp in a jar is not a science project.

Some experiments with melting plastic has, given some real natural tattoos on my hands and legs.Such is the price we gotta pay for being curious.

Anyway... seeing the coconut floating in the water gave us an idea.

We need to make a raft! A makeshift one! Everyones face lit up like a rat which saw jaggery!

We paddled, stumbled,slipped.. ran and finally reached the place, an old water pump shed, where our ingenious idea won't be overheard by parties, also called parents. Our gray cells over-clocked and being in those years, there is no shortage of logic for anything. Logic is the middle name for all of us those days..Aint it?

For building this raft..we need few raw materials

1) 5 to 7 banana plants/trees.
2)Tube from (a) tyre or ( Few ) tyre tube.
3)Bamboo sticks.

The team lead volunteered to get the first 2 ingrediants.We went into his banana plantation.The place was flooded of course.With a few cuts..splash..splash..splash... we got the banana trees/plants which is the base of the raft.The other two,of my friends, manage to dig up "our old tubes" , a swimming accessory for n00bs. Unlike we thought, they brought it to us by filling it with air.

Bamboo sticks!! that was easy..We stole borrowed a few of them from our neighbors fence.With neighbors like these..who needs fence?
The construction was overseen by the Team Lead. Banana Tree/Plants was cut in proportion, the long bamboo sticks driven into them holding it in position, the tubes secured with ropes on the underside and roping it all together, the raft is ta...daaaaaa!!! Complete!
The team lead pushed it into the paddy fields..It floated. He stood on it..It floated...Still.
According to the Intuition of our team lead it could "Carry only 3 idiots", just like our Indian Autorikshaws!
One was left on the land, to shout, just in case something happened or we vanished from the view.

We set sail, singing..."Row Row row de raft." The team lead was the one who, using a longer bamboo pole was "driving it". On his commands we shifted our positions to angle the raft accordingly.

"Physics at large!!"

We were scared of the whole thing...but adrenaline is a real good thing, which helps us to remain stupid in such situations.No?

We moved deep into the paddy fields and..we were gaining momentum. None of us realized that we were getting drifted afar, too fast.
Only by observing the constipated look on the Team Lead's face I realized that something was not really right.His eyes was stuck on something!!
The Team lead pointed to us in the direction of the canal.


We were kinda nearing the water canal, which has attained the form of National Highway for flood water.The raft, skimmed the sides of the overflowing water and turned rapidly!! The Team lead was struggling with the bamboo pole trying to get some pole hold (something like foothold)

The raft rocked, turned and all the time, we were doing the Trepak on the raft.We were taken for a good ride by the stream of water, kinda like a roller coaster ride. There was this curve which was ahead of us, which I think my team lead was expecting, cuz he was all tensed..He said, he wanted to try a little stunt to push us out of this canal..If the plan worked, we would swing our way out of it..else..the raft will take the plunge in that curve and go under the water current. Then...its just about throwing yourself into water , try and swim else..Ciao in Arabian Sea!

When we reached that curve, everyone, had to push with the Team lead at the bamboo pole, which is our rudder, steering wheel and everything, and spun our way out of the 'stupid canal'. Force of nature can work both ways! Suck us in or throw us out! worked!

"When life gives you a curve, use it as coat hanger"-Sorcerer
We all had a big grin on our faces.We were breathless out of excitement and relief. We paddled back to the shore.

When we reached the shore..I made another important observation

Observation: Every action has an equivalent and opposite reaction holds true even for a person who is jumping out of the raft. If you jump out, the raft moves backward and you could end up face down in water.

It was so amazing those days, when we were reckless and totally hyper. Most of the times we did things guided by sheer instinct!

Every monsoon rain bring back this memory..of an adventure..which could have gone bad!!
But then again...its an experience!

I know it was stupid!But then again...its an experience!
Makes it feel good thinking that way.

Thursday, June 17, 2010




No!! This is not my self Portrait.[D Thats an old joke]

I was just getting this sketch done and my buddy dropped in, naturally, he showered me with lots and lots of appreciations.

1)"WOW!! Finally revealing yourself to the world with a self portrait.. Thats a nice thing Sorcy!!"

See, with F.R.I.E.N.D.S like these..who needs em enemies.!!

2)"Wow!! I agree its not you..but see..its got a goatee..just like you ."


Monday, June 14, 2010


Fang-Final Fantasy


Yesterday! I was had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine and that exactly is the reason for this blog post.

Then..since she wast just like me during her history classes and has the geographical perception that "Let there be Commies-Like...Totally!!!" about Kerala-; I royally gave her my own version of Kerala mythology and got away with - it unharmed.

Later..I had the same discussion & debate about Kerala Mythology with my "knowledgeable" friend and he told me the "Real Kerala Mythology". I believed him cuz..he had brought beer.


Long before, there was no Kerala, no commies in the south.It was thick dark forest down there..I meant the south part of India. Now we are talking about B.C [In modern calculations]. The whole place was thick forests where lions and tigers grazed and feasted on mangoes and jack-fruits. According to my friend who narrated me this mythology, animals were much gentler than a clan of humans called "Warriors" which occupied those parts, those times.

[Crouching Tiger- Flying Dragon]

Also in those forests lived saints, they lived peacefully in the forests. Seriously, nothing has changed much along that line, even today if you want can pack your bags and go to any wild life reserve in Kerala. [Nope..I am not talking about the Assembly building in that place]

These saints had a cow named Kamadhenu. It was like our refrigerator, ADB[Asian development Bank]Just ask the cow what you want and it gives you the food etc etc. For the saints, Kamadhenu was the Maveli store a.k.a SupplyCo


There was a king, lets call him, just the king. He was the alpha male of the Warrior Clan. The king felt so bored after sitting at home for so long and doing nothing.Those days there was no I.P.L. No WC. No N.D.T.V to entertain you.

So he simbly wandered into the forest to hunt some animals. After hunting for some time he felt bored again just like a kindergarten kid.
See..the hardships of being a king!! *sigh

He walked deeper into the forest...

On the trek to the forest
Coconut oil in his hair
Warm smell of puttu..
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
he saw a saint in dotted lungi!

His tummy rumbled, it wants puttu and Peas
He had to stop for a bite
There he stood in their doorway
Flicked his Lungi in style

Finally following the smell of Puttu and Kadala from the Ashram of saints, he reached the ashram.
The saints, welcomed him. Not only him, but all the "support group" the king had with him.

Since the saints had Kamadhenu with them, feeding the hungry king and the "support group" was not an issue. The king was happy and satisfied with the food and with the idea of Kamadhenu. When he thought of Kamadhenu he was like ""mmmmm waaaaaaaww"

The King was full of arrogance and food. He Burped loud. The king with his deep and profound brain thinking came to the conclusion that; because of the cows the saints are more powerful than the king himself. He wanted the Cow!!

This is the excerpts from chat log the king had with the saint.

King: I want the Kamadhenu Cow.

Saint: :O . No..We are extremely sorry, we can't give you this cow.


Saint: :(

King: Whutever!!!! U R PWNED!!!

Saint: :'-(


Saint: :'-(


Saint: :'-(

* *Kamadhenu is now known as King's- Dhenu
Saint has logged off

Yeah..So..this is how the conversation happened. I think I have given it with technical details.
As you have guessed, the king forcefully took the Kamadhenu away and killed the saints.
Parashuram returned after his trekking in the forest with fruits and vegetables .He saw his mom crying. Parashuram was a saint, but he was a warrior too. He was actually a warriant.

His mom told him about the king, and how he had come to the ashram for rest and in the end they all got PWNED. She also told him that they took the Kamadhenu away.

Parashuram was like :X . He felt his blood boiling like the water for the puttu on the stove. He vowed to kill every Warriors around the world. Then he was playing San Andreas -Warrior Land. Wherever he saw a warrior he killed them.

After the killing spree he felt bored, because he had no more warriors to kill. Realization dawns on one evening. He began retrospecting and introspecting..a deadly state of mind like cabbage and potatoes in the stomach.
He was filled with penance. He found no difference between him and the Warrior king whom he had killed.
He wanted to confess his sins and all his wrong doings.He went on top of Gokarna. He had an Axe in his hand.[The default setting for Parashuram in all .jpg images world wide.]
He looked at the sea from there..""mmmmm waaaaaaaww" he muttered. He pointed at the sea and said..."Me is gonna throw this axe at the dear sea..should retreat till the place where the axe had fell."

Saying that..he threw the axe into the sea...The sea retreated till, where the axe landed.
The land..Kerala was born.

A place which was full of coconut trees and crows minus the commies and the blood sucking mosquitoes.
It was like Raymonds...feels like heaven... Then people started calling Kerala -The God's own Country.
But I think...
Kerala should be titled Kerala-The Axe Effect.

Friday, June 11, 2010



"Ice age is the earth's way of going for a cold boot"- Sorcerer on Ice age

Thursday, June 10, 2010


Nariko-Heavenly Sword


Been a long time since I posted some conversations..thought, I would post some today.

My status message for GTalk was : "Only thing I got straight in life is my sexual orientation"-Sorcerer

Juggie: Good morning Straight one.

Sorcerer: Errr... We call it morning wood!

Well!! I say, that's how KICK start the morning!

Poornima: Do you think..I am retard?

Sorcerer:No!! You are just special.


Santhu considers him to be a smart drinker. Unlike other unfortunate n00bs who is into the habit of 'consuming' alcohol and getting caught at home for 'consuming' alcohol; Santhu is the smart guy. One of his camouflage is to swallow Pudni Hara pills, after getting drunk.

Santhu celebrated his after_Exam_party with lot of enthusiasm and alcohol and pickle. It was getting too late.. He walks home..He just wanted to reach home, get to his cozy bed and sleep.He trotted along the highway, like a nocturnal moth moving in random direction.
Santhu wakes up from his bed, comes down and sees his dad in Kathivesham

His dad begins to interrogate him.

His_Dad:So since when you started drinking?

Santhu:Never..Never..I didn't drink at all. [Denial...outright denial]

His_Dad:Don't tell me that..I know everything.Yesterday you came home drunk.

Santhu:Noo!! I didn't

His_Dad:Yes you did!!
His_Mom:Yes !! you did!!

Santhu: Who told you all this? Ya know dad..I got political enemies at college..They are trying to malign my name.

His_Dad: Hmm..done with all the Bullshitting?

Santhu:Tell me!! Who said that to you..tell me...Tell me..who is it?

His_Dad:Yesterday came home and slept on the steps to our home.Today morning..We saw you sleeping on the steps..I carried you to your bed.

Santhu:*gulp *faints

Wiseguy: Dude!! She was getting on me too much and I lost control. and...I just exploded.

Sorcerer:Sounds like script from some porn flick!

Genius:Even it occurred to me when he said that.