Saturday, January 2, 2010

.:: FOR DUMMIES 3 ::.


Some of you who had read my "Sorcy's Fables- Simplified for dummies", knows that, I do social service by giving 'awesome universal truths' free of cost, to the world.
This is my first 'naked truth' in the series, for this year.

____________________


He was speeding along, cutting through the traffic with surgical precision, on his bike, through many cars and buses. He looked ahead, as far as he could see. The whole scene looked like a, err…huge traffic block. Acres and Acres of cars and trucks and other vehicles of various makes, stood still, no where to escape, exposed out in the hot sun. [What else do you expect in a traffic block?]

He was infiltrating all the bends and corners in traffic, to negotiate his way through. He really didn’t care about what the Car driver shouted at him. It was all in Hebrew, for him. For the biker, car driver was just another looser with four tires strapped on his ass sitting in a bucket seat, no where to go. He sighed at the pathetic plight of 4 wheelers, as his kind was the only one, smart enough and moving.

He reached near a Mercedes Benz. He expected to see some costly chick, wearing..errr..lipstick on her lips like those in movies , where all hot chicks inside Merc do when stranded in traffic. He was disappointed, to find a fat rich man [ Excuse me I used the F word] in white shirt, preserved inside the climate controlled environment, sitting in it like a stranded great white whale on the beach. The whole setting, reminded him of the Beluga Whale he saw on Discovery channel. He chuckled, gave a pathetic look to the driver of the Merc and zipped past it.

..
..

She saw him coming. He looked like a knight, riding a black horse, without wearing protection..err..Helmet, that is. Her heart beats began to rise. He was classified “Good natured”, “Decent”, “Sensible”, “God Fearing”, “Cool”, never use swear words, guy on the block. Her heart was on red bulls. [It gives you wings. No?].

She always, had a “thing” for him. He was just awesome.He was the “ISO standar
d” for the guys, according to girls. He was every girls fantasy of a perfect guy. When he becomes her “soul” property, she thought, she will make him wear helmet for 2 reasons, 1 to protect the head and the other most important point, to hide his charming face from competition.

No wonder his nose was always red, cuz of itching, when girls thought about him.
She wished, he would see her and give her a ride home. She would boast about it, to all her friends in her class, that the “Happening GUY, gave her a ride home, in his own vehicle, when she was waiting for her bus in the back logged traffic”.
..
..

What do ya know..
Some wish does come true. [This easy, only on blogs an
d movies]
He saw her standing in the bus stop. She looked HOT under the hot sun.
His heart fell for her hotness. “Poor, innocent girl.” -He thought.
His heart wouldn’t bear to see a beautiful girl, wilting under the hot sun. As a good citizen, he wouldn’t ignore her. He wanted to do some good karma that day. He decided to give her a ride home.


He stopped the bike near her.


“Err… If you are on the way home, I could drop you at your home.”- He said.


For her, his lips moved at super slow speed
,spelling word by word, when he talked to her. She stood there, saying nothing, looking at his face, her eyes hooked on to his eyes which were tactically hidden behind his shades.
“errr…madam, ah!!.. Are you coming?”
“Oh yeah!!” She mumbled as her brain woke up from the “momentus distractus ” stage. She sat behind him on the bike

“Madam!!!” that word rang in her ears, like the Mingun Bell in Burma, echoing it along the corridors of her arteries. “How!!! CUUUUTTTTTEEE!!” she thought.” A real gentleman” her conscious added.

..
..

He negotiated his way through the traffic. He tur
ned left to a short cut road, away from the ‘awesome scenic traffic block.’ [As a person, I always maintain a positive world view]. The road was empty. They were cruising down the road.

Suddenly


She felt a jolt and her body slammed into his back.

“Whoaaaaa!!!”,”What was that?” She wanted to ask.


The bike which was running fine so far, was now behaving like a nagging 5 year old.

She felt like, now she was riding a bull.

She knows of a “certain trick”, those “PERVERTS” do, when an unsuspecting girl is sitting at the back of their bike. They would play around with the clutch and break, creating short and powerful forward momentum, there by resulting in a jolt, which propels the helpless girl sitting at the pillion, forward, slamming her …errr…front part of her body to the hard back of the ‘PERVERT’ who is driving the bike, there by giving the ‘PERVERT’, s
ome kind of Nirvana.

It’s classified in Biker Guy’s Manual as “BIKER TRICK
NO 783237492349274(A)”.

Some girls will think “Thank God!! I had “dual airbags” to save my delicate innocent heart. What a slam that was. Thank you God for creating me that way and making those big.


Or

Some other girls think just one word “PERVERT” and talk her heart ou
t, when confronted with another “Do you need a ride” situation.
..
..

The bike moved forward in its short, powerful forward momentum and reached the destination.
She got off the bike.

Her face was red, from anger, which he thought was by the rays of the sun. Innocent him, no?


She said “THANK YOU”, as that was she learned during her school days. I
In India, her Karate classes, doesn’t have anything to do with her grades, so she didn’t learn it like 99% of other “chicks” in her class.

..
..

He rode off, his bike, zipping away, like she saw before, while she was waiting for her bus.

“PERVERT” she thought."Now his bike doesn't do that, 'ruki' ..'ruki'' thingy.[ ruki (translation):Stop]

“You *Gabbar singh, in **Hrithik clothing.” She wanted to shout that way at him, but he was now a dot at a distant horizon.

She walked to her home, thinking


“I would never, ride with him.”, “Never buy my kids bikes.”,” Never will have kid with him”, “Will keep my kids away from his kids”.


For her conscious it sounded like Fuzzy Logic. It was all fuzzy about him now.

____________________

The moral of the story is "Giving a good ride to chicks are the best way to get more chicks to ride with you"

* No Pun intended

____________________



*Gabbar Sing** Hrithik Roshan


__________________________+




28 comments:

Me said...

1. corridors of artery
2. gabbar singh in hrithik clothes
3. no kids wth him and my kids away frm his kids thingy
lol lol lol

sorcy..
im more than glad that i stumbled upon ur blog( *teary eyes* too emotional)

Sorcerer said...

@Me
hahaha..
thank you..
I am trying to find a new dimension for creative writing. you see

thank you again for the comment
Iam soo touched.!!

Quirky said...

Oh lord... some of those lines really cracked me up..rotfl..Keep it up Mr Witty :)

Sorcerer said...

@quirky
I was replying to your latest blog post and viola you are here online!!
muaahahahah!!
thanks for the comment

i tell ze truth..you see

Jon said...

ummmmmm... don't know

think there's a lot more beneath these words than they betray...

sounds to me something like broken wings...

but then.... i'm a lummox...






all the same... hit this link...

sometimes i feel that a song without words carries more that i could ever say...


LINK

санжог said...

Sorcy bro,

I have a friend, I call him disk-break because, once I was out with my gf, and one of her really really ridiculously good looking cousin chick tagged too.

Now i had to do something to get rid of her, so i called DB. He came he got her on the pillon seat of his bike and had an accident in 10 seconds of starting the bike coz he used his front disk break, hence the name!

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog

I have this thoery
" Chicks in backseat cause accidents"
Accidents in the backseat cause kids"

* atleast I rhymed

Secretia said...

That is a good story.

Chocolate Lover said...

haha!..
LOL Sorcy..

Sorcerer said...

@secretia
thank you for the comment

@chocolate lover
thank you :)

theschmuck said...

Dual airbags?!YOU are THE MAN!*insert that song...I'm the man-I can take your money and your honey cos I can!*LOL.That was some writing!

bondgal_rulz said...

Gabbar in Hrithik clothing!!!???

LOL

Great post!!

Cheers

Sid said...

Good 1 dude, so is the girl still single? how abt car rides?

Anya said...

Happy New Year
or in Dutch we say
Gelukkig Nieuwjaar :-)

Kareltje =^.^=
Anya :-)

Nipun said...

SIR Sorcy is gr8..
What more to say....

Nuts

KrystalKitty. said...

Maybe his nose was itchy and all red because he was allergic to cats and she was one.I like her because she would not let him get away with being pervy,especially since she thought he was a perfect gentleman.It sounds like she will be a challance to him,he need to erectifie the relationship with her and not let this womaan get away, there are not many people made this way.Actually I think maybe it was a test this dude gave her to see how far he could go,guys think it's so dull and boring when girls are too eager to have sex,kann sie mich forstehen ,frag mich und ich antwort kann I HOPE?

Saadi said...

Pervert Bikers catalogue!! Dual Air Bags! Lol....brilliant, man!!!

:D

BBC said...

Hum, first time to your blog and not the time to look at it well, but I'm rather fond of driving the speed limit, if for no other reason than to piss others off.

Anonymous said...

does anyone think porn is the only business still thriving during the credit cruch? I think many folks seek refuge in buying and wanking porn during the crunch

Uncommon Sense said...

air bag stuff was fuckin creative,,

Neethu said...

hehe..loved the way u wrote it:)

Sorcerer said...

@neethu
thank you for the comment

@uncommon sense
thank you my friend..

@BBC
thanks for the comment

@anonymous
Yeah..sure it is.
"On the eightth day, there was porn, and God Said, "let this be a blessing onto you, since Eve is out shopping""

@saadi
thank you for the comment buddy

@krystal
yeah!! guys!! you know..we always, test for weaknesses in the system, call it survival tactic

@nipun
thank you ..thank you for giving the 'SIR' title

@anya
happy new year to you too
:)
thanks for dropping by and the comment


@Sid
yeah, single chick.
hmm..car rides? use seat belts and remember this treory
"kids in back seat causes accidents.accidents in backseat can cause kid.

@bondgalz
thank you for the comment

@thescmuck
thank you:)

rohini said...

I m surelygoing to follow ur excellent posts....great

SindhuBhairavi said...

had read this yesterday but couldnt comment...

hey this is really nice..! truly enjoyed reading it.. :) i like the way u handle humour.. !

thanks for the comments on my blog..

Sorcerer said...

@rohini
thank you for the comment and following my blog

@sindhuBhairavi
thanks for the comment :)

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