.:: FOR DUMMIES 3 ::.

Some of you who had read my "Sorcy's Fables- Simplified for dummies", knows that, I do social service by giving 'awesome universal truths' free of cost, to the world. This is my first 'naked truth' in the series, for this year.

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He was speeding along, cutting through the traffic with surgical precision, on his bike, through many cars and buses. He looked ahead, as far as he could see. The whole scene looked like a, err…huge traffic block. Acres and Acres of cars and trucks and other vehicles of various makes, stood still, no where to escape, exposed out in the hot sun. [What else do you expect in a traffic block?]

He was infiltrating all the bends and corners in traffic, to negotiate his way through. He really didn’t care about what the Car driver shouted at him. It was all in Hebrew, for him. For the biker, car driver was just another looser with four tires strapped on his ass sitting in a bucket seat, no where to go. He sighed at the pathetic plight of 4 wheelers, as his kind was the only one, smart enough and moving.

He reached near a Mercedes Benz. He expected to see some costly chick, wearing..errr..lipstick on her lips like those in movies , where all hot chicks inside Merc do when stranded in traffic. He was disappointed, to find a fat rich man [ Excuse me I used the F word] in white shirt, preserved inside the climate controlled environment, sitting in it like a stranded great white whale on the beach. The whole setting, reminded him of the Beluga Whale he saw on Discovery channel. He chuckled, gave a pathetic look to the driver of the Merc and zipped past it.

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She saw him coming. He looked like a knight, riding a black horse, without wearing protection..err..Helmet, that is. Her heart beats began to rise. He was classified “Good natured”, “Decent”, “Sensible”, “God Fearing”, “Cool”, never use swear words, guy on the block. Her heart was on red bulls. [It gives you wings. No?].

She always, had a “thing” for him. He was just awesome.He was the “ISO standard” for the guys, according to girls. He was every girls fantasy of a perfect guy. When he becomes her “soul” property, she thought, she will make him wear helmet for 2 reasons, 1 to protect the head and the other most important point, to hide his charming face from competition.

No wonder his nose was always red, cuz of itching, when girls thought about him. She wished, he would see her and give her a ride home. She would boast about it, to all her friends in her class, that the “Happening GUY, gave her a ride home, in his own vehicle, when she was waiting for her bus in the back logged traffic”.
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What do ya know..
Some wish does come true. [This easy, only on blogs and movies]
He saw her standing in the bus stop. She looked HOT under the hot sun.
His heart fell for her hotness. “Poor, innocent girl.” -He thought.
His heart wouldn’t bear to see a beautiful girl, wilting under the hot sun. As a good citizen, he wouldn’t ignore her. He wanted to do some good karma that day. He decided to give her a ride home.

He stopped the bike near her.

“Err… If you are on the way home, I could drop you at your home.”- He said.

For her, his lips moved at super slow speed,spelling word by word, when he talked to her. She stood there, saying nothing, looking at his face, her eyes hooked on to his eyes which were tactically hidden behind his shades.
“errr…madam, ah!!.. Are you coming?”
“Oh yeah!!” She mumbled as her brain woke up from the “momentus distractus ” stage. She sat behind him on the bike

“Madam!!!” that word rang in her ears, like the Mingun Bell in Burma, echoing it along the corridors of her arteries. “How!!! CUUUUTTTTTEEE!!” she thought.” A real gentleman” her conscious added.
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He negotiated his way through the traffic. He turned left to a short cut road, away from the ‘awesome scenic traffic block.’ [As a person, I always maintain a positive world view]. The road was empty. They were cruising down the road.

Suddenly

She felt a jolt and her body slammed into his back.

“Whoaaaaa!!!”,”What was that?” She wanted to ask.

The bike which was running fine so far, was now behaving like a nagging 5 year old.
She felt like, now she was riding a bull.

She knows of a “certain trick”, those “PERVERTS” do, when an unsuspecting girl is sitting at the back of their bike. They would play around with the clutch and break, creating short and powerful forward momentum, there by resulting in a jolt, which propels the helpless girl sitting at the pillion, forward, slamming her …errr…front part of her body to the hard back of the ‘PERVERT’ who is driving the bike, there by giving the ‘PERVERT’, some kind of Nirvana.

It’s classified in Biker Guy’s Manual as “BIKER TRICK NO 783237492349274(A)”.

Some girls will think “Thank God!! I had “dual airbags” to save my delicate innocent heart. What a slam that was. Thank you God for creating me that way and making those big.

Or

Some other girls think just one word “PERVERT” and talk her heart out, when confronted with another “Do you need a ride” situation.
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The bike moved forward in its short, powerful forward momentum and reached the destination. She got off the bike.

Her face was red, from anger, which he thought was by the rays of the sun. Innocent him, no?

She said “THANK YOU”, as that was she learned during her school days. I
In India, her Karate classes, doesn’t have anything to do with her grades, so she didn’t learn it like 99% of other “chicks” in her class.
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He rode off, his bike, zipping away, like she saw before, while she was waiting for her bus.
“PERVERT” she thought."Now his bike doesn't do that, 'ruki' ..'ruki'' thingy.[ ruki (translation):Stop]

“You *Gabbar singh, in **Hrithik clothing.” She wanted to shout that way at him, but he was now a dot at a distant horizon.

She walked to her home, thinking

“I would never, ride with him.”, “Never buy my kids bikes.”,” Never will have kid with him”, “Will keep my kids away from his kids”.

For her conscious it sounded like Fuzzy Logic. It was all fuzzy about him now.
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The moral of the story is "Giving a good ride to chicks are the best way to get more chicks to ride with you"

* No Pun intended

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*Gabbar Sing** Hrithik Roshan


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