.:: PICK UP LINES ::.

Everyone, comes across such "situation" in errr..situations, where you really want to go and talk to a pretty girl, whom you are seeing for the first time in a mall or a pub or a swimming pool,but you really don't know where to begin. (Not, not that "where" to begin thingy!). I have come across individuals, well!! including me, highly intelligent (Har har har,*snort), ,who had done quiet well, in their studies,(that would be excluding me, I had better things to do, like saving the world etc etc, rather than sit with a book, of which 90% of knowledge I acquire, I will never use in my life time and the rest 10% is... *sigh), but don't know how to ....ya know, get that initial 'thingy' to talk to a girl.

Imagine this situation, like you are sitting in a pub, sipping on 'slippery nipples'.[ Okay! That, my friend is name of a cocktail.Alright! Don't let your imagination wander and rape a mail box],with your friend, who is having a 'monkey gland' and you see, a pretty girl in the pub, your heart begins to race, and you get that prehistoric gut feeling that she is the peanut butter, you have been waiting for to make your sandwich of love.

The moment you see that girl, you see pink pigeons flying around your head, your eyes watch every movement she makes in ultra slow motion.Your mouth goes dry, something goes soft, something goes hard, your hands begin to sweat, and you start talking aloud to your friend who is sitting 9 inches(internet standards= 6 inches) away from you, about your oncoming trip to Canary Islands on your private jet, to get her attention. But Nada, zilch, nothing happens.
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She knows that she is attractive and sits on a high stool, with her 'Fuzzy Navel'. She is listening to the guy, loud and clear,5/5.She begins to think that. "Whatta maroon! Whatta ignoranimus!". That boy's got a mouth like a cannon, always shootin' off. WIth every sip she takes of her cocktail, she thinks that " *sigh, that guy with the private jet is gonna come and talk to me". but , zilch, nada, shoonyu, nothing happens.

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Yeah!! according to my awesome statistics, 99.67% of people talk like porky pig, when talking to a girl for first time.They go something like ..the-the-the-th-is.

[ Porky Pig]


"M-m-m-m-m-mee-men from Mars!!!"
"P-p-p-p-p-p-et-t-tunia, w-w-w-will you m-m-m-m-m-m-marry m-m-m-me?"
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That's why man invented 'Pick up lines'. According to unclassified history documents, prehistoric men used 'pick up lines' to lure prehistoric woman. Its believed that man invented pick up lines long before the invention of fire. Now we have GOOGLE, the God of All things. Finding a pickup line is easy, but..implementation..that's the difficult task.

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Let us see, how we can survive that part.

If you are a very spiritual guy, who believes in this coincidence that God and Google start with letter 'G'.
Say your prayers, promise some candles or coconuts depending up on what your religious practice is. Well In case you believe me, I accept Paypal and credit cards. [Since cheque leaf is made out of rubber trees, they have a habit of bouncing, so I don't accept cheques].
Be confident, approach the girl and say the following prayers...errr..lines
I am giving you options.

1)
"I had this vision and.. then..God told me to come and talk to you."
I am sure..she will go..OMG!!

2)
"Hey!! you just got your divine appointment.[ Don't forget to wink]

3)
"Can I have my rib back?" [ NOTE: To be said to a lady]

4)
This one is kinda tricky.
Follow this format

You: Whats 1+1?
Girl: 2!! Duh!!
You: "He who gives a right answer kisses the lips."(Proverbs 24:26)
Don't just walk back, after you said this, keep the conversation going.

5)
Say this standing a few feet away from her, sideways(to save the delicate thingies)
"You think "ask, and it shall be given you" is to be taken literally?

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Now the lines for the endangered Species(IT Professionals)

1)
Does your name end in .jpg? Cuz, I think I have seen cute faces ending in .jpg's over the internet.
Hope she doesn't say..I ended up as MMS or .3gp. In such case, ask her for the file host.(and email me the link)

2)
This one is more of action than words. See!! Action speaks louder than words!!

Throw a peanut at her and Wait for a "ping" response.
If she decides to 'flood' you with 'pings'. Log off from the pub

3)
This one is really a naughty one.
"Can I mount my server on your rack?"

4)
"You had me at "Hello world"; [ Remember the movie "Jerry Maguire (1996)"]

5)
This one is also a naughty one,
You turned on my Caps lock!! Hope you got my drift.

6)
"Hmm..Can you handle my exceptions?"

7)
This one is so simple.
"Your home page or mine?"

8)
This one is human equivalent to "will you marry me?"
"Will you be my extension pack for life"

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I am not leaving out the common people, who wants a a pick up line. When you try pickup lines, the situation has to match your 'situation'.

If its a rainy day and the sky is all cloudy, you can go to the girl, you been 'eye balling' and say "wow, you got beautiful eyes. No wonder the sky is gray, cuz you have all the blueness of the sky in your eyes."
Make sure that she don't run off before finishing this sentence. So better "corner" her, before you start saying this line.

If its a HOT summer, you can approach a girl and say "Is your name summer, cuz its soo hot".
"Is your name spring, cuz your hair looks springy springy" won't work with a girl having curly hair.

This one is extreme, which goes with extreme weather condition like tornado. If your city is under tornado threat, and if you happen to meet insane girl who still didn't evacuate the town ; this may work;
"Let's make love like a windscreen in tornado, all night."

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Now, if she runs off say this like Pepe Le Pew: "Come back darling, golden violet! I will unshy you! You are just insecure. All you need is a little occupational therapy, like making love!"

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