Friday, December 11, 2009

< SPAM >

I hereby take this opportunity to clear, some superstition/misconceptions associated with the SPAM mails you receive everyday. I know everyone hates them like wrinkles (metaphor). But let me tell you, you are missin so much fun by not even caring to open the "SPAM' folder.

Lets dissect some cases.

Case 1



Well, NOPE!! I really don't want to hit a 'BALL' with my [Beep].(Hope you caught my drift Mr.Spammer.) I hope it was targeted at a different 'orientation'.
Advise to spammer: Please know the game before you spam.
FYKI
Billiards: STICK Hits the BALL. Ball goes into the hole you hard core weirdo, not the stick.Huh!!

Case 2


This could be the chronicle of the spammer who wrote this. I Google up Chronicle and Google says Chronicle is "An historical register or account of facts or events disposed in the order of time". So, This could be the historical register or accounts of facts or events happened to his crotch in order of time.

I dedicate this prayer for our beloved spammer.
"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who
send us spam and may his hands be too short to scratch."
Amen

Case 3



One thing I loved about this email is, he is true about his work place. "CRAPS WORK BENCH."

Case 4


This is the new internet spam, aimed at unsuspecting females. Really sick practical joke on females. I can think about a whole lot of pickup lines in this regard. Spammers are really bend on it.( Please note I intended no PUN here.)

Case 5



Anybody want a One night stand with CARCINOMA? Google says "A carcinoma is any cancer that arises from epithelial cells."

Case 6



Ouch!! Insensitive subject lines

Case 7


I thought it was a error message something like " Your disk will explode. Are you sure you want to explode?" I don't call it spam email.I can call it curse email or a warning email send by Al Quieda..

Case 8



Clear as vodka ( I always wanted to say this.)
Tell me when they reach India.
Are they talking about 'Lenin's girl.'


____________________

EDITED :(
December 11, 2009 5:47 PM) After request to add something more awesome.

So I thought I would make it 10 Cases.

Case 9



Everyone knows how hard it is to find a parking space. Now instead of finding a place to park the d[beep], a spammer is saying that, even if we(men) don't get laid, we can park our car on our own premises.(I just need to take out that 'r' and add an 'n' instead of 'm' on 'premises'.).
The day is not far when you can land an Airbus 380 on one of those.

Pilot to Tower: We are out of fuel, Advice on airport nearby.We are over the Atlantic ocean

Tower-ATC Operator : Don't worry sir.

ATC OPERATOR runs to the nearby beach and takes the 'enlarge patch'.


Pilot to Tower: We, see the runway..and its coming towards Us..HEEELLP!!!



Case 10



F[Beep] You.
Do this again, I am gonna phone your mommy.

____________________

I think I gave you an insight into on how much fun you miss everyday, when you delete those creative writeup of spammers.

__________________________+

20 comments:

susie said...

roflmao

sulagna said...

Sorci you get it i understand..saaley mera inbox bhi yeh log "want a longer ________ "waaley mails se spam karte hai

Pls share some more "uplifting" mails plz plz

and word verification??itna hi-level security!! high standards eh??

Sorcerer said...

@sulanga

hahahahaha..
i know..spammers dont differentiate between males and females..no wonder you too get "want a longer" mails.

word verification.I will remove that!

@susie
thanks for the comment

Sammok said...

ha ha..

Arjun M said...

bad boy sorcy... you get those mail, then what kinda sites have u been leaving your e-mail address!? :P

Sorcerer said...

@ARJUN
err...WE dont have to find them

They find you!!

just open the spam folder in you gmail and viola..its flyin all around

Nipun said...

U got it ryt mate..
I think each of us is a victim of this.
Arn't dere any such spam mails like a deeper _____??

Kudos Dude!!
Nuts

Sorcerer said...

@nipun.
you mean like a submarine?
errr...

Russians has thse..i guess

*gives the innocent look

Quirky said...

Oh lord..Case 9 had me ROFL!!

D.A said...

Now now..that's the subject!! next time post - what's in. :P

Saurabh Panshikar said...

This post should hit the spammers where it hurts the most! (and makes the premises useless)

Too good! Have you ever replied to such emails?

@Case 9
What if I do not have a car? And whom did they try it on?

Karthik said...

Dude, I get these all the time. I wonder what makes those dick-heads think that I'd want to audition for a movie! :P
One hell of an analysis, sorcy! :D

@ Saurabh
I think they tried on Obama. :P

sulagna said...

nasty rusky girls..niacee!!! you get exotic options Sorci *chuckle*

PS they dint spare the Holy mariam too..very "rear" to see

Sorcerer said...

@quirky
case 9 had me slapping on my forehead.

@DA
thanks for the comment

@saurabh
err..do you really want to PARK a car on it

@karthik
thank you
thank you

@sulagna
thanks :) spammers.. they are!

санжог said...

nice work bro

Megha said...

hilarios, i can't stop laughing......to be true, i never get such mails even in my spam folder, touch wood...

and about the curse, sorry the prayer, God, it came to your mind ?

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog
thank you for the comment
@megha
:)
thanks for dropping by
thats amazin you aint gettin no spam

Yemiledu said...

Do delete the word verification thing! :~)

A nice analysis,liked the fifth case.

Yemiledu said...

actually you already deleted the word verification thing?!!

Thankyou!! :~)

Sorcerer said...

@yemiledu
yes..I did!!