So, I was away, for a quiet long time from the blog-ville.
I missed my one post a day like the vitamin tablets for the under nourished. It all started with a phone call from my cousin bro.He and his fellow inmates, were required to submit a software project for their final year of college thingy.
Unlike their fellow counterparts, they thought of doing it under someones guidance(Har har har *snort *snort) rather than 'BUY' it from the outside market, with exotic titles like FTP through Blue Tooth and pay 8000/- for that.
See..the movie 3 Idiots has its effects.That's exactly what I thought too.
They just needed to save the money for tweaking their awesome bikes etc etc
Some genius has once remarked that humans should help the ones in need, just like those wending machines that provides male members with straight jackets.
[That will keep a few occupied for a while.]
I appreciate these boys for their guts of taking that risk, i.e me.
From this point onwards, I call them slaves.Yes, the contract we (Me and the 8 others)signed allowed me to do more than that. One slave became the official cargo hauler.In short we can call him , COUSIN. He was delegated the task of carrying my bag and machine to where ever I felt like going while doing their project. I have heard that olden days, they used camels.
I had 3 different slaves as my official chauffeur.Their job was to carry the self proclaimed king (i.e Me) to places.
The rest of them were assigned the job of feeding me and help me rehydrate on time.My royal doctors have prescribed me that,I should eat exotic foods 3 times a day to keep my gray cells cool and functioning.
[*sigh, I seriously miss that days of pyramids and stuffs. Those pheromones must have really, really enjoyed those days.]
My slaves were a class apart. Of course for the records, I will cite some of their awesomeness.
[ Mr.H ]
He is the broadband and the official system sponsor for the PROJECT. He is the founder member of 'ROYAL DESPERADOS'.He even operates a blog for the same.
Don't ask why 'Desperados'? By the time he came to know the real meaning of the word 'Desperado' it was too late like Paris Hilton getting addicted to color pink. Don't try to convince him that 'Desperado' doesn't mean a 'Guy good with gun' like in a movie; he is gonna give you those look and will give his version of the story in MALLU Kochin Accent.
Mr.H in class[ From Reliable Sources]
Unix Faculty: Anybody know what is a kernel?
Mr.H:Upgrade of cadet.Sir.
Kichu: He is our official Pizza delivery guy.He knows all places where you can get things to eat at anytime of the day or night.He cooks extremely well and even cockroaches gets diarrhea when they nibble on those crumbs. Apart from being the official caterer he sleeps for the rest of us when the rest of up pull an allnighter.
Mr.H: I told you not to take YOU TUBE videos.I have crossed my bandwidth quota.
Kichu was later found using the You Tube service.
Mr H: I told you,,I told you NOT TO TAKE YOU TUBE VIDEOS.
Kichu:ALRIGHT!! LOOKIE HERE MORON! Its through orkut.Okay!
In our team KOU BOY is the diplomat. He communicates with his team and diplomatically solve issues between the team members and the King.If Kou says MOOOOO...they all move.
KOU Boy is the future owner of a major cattle market. He is extremely good with all kind of quadrupeds. It's what I call karma. A guy who should be doing his cattle science/Cattle management is doing his computer science 'thingy'. No wonder he wasn't paying much attention to me while I was explaining to them what a particular module, did in their software.
KOU BOY seen playing Tetris on his phone.
Mr.H: Pay attention Kou, You can write software to arrange cows in a row.
Kou In class [From Reliable sources]
Bossy Madam: Guyz, You know, I completed 2 chapters in 2 days.
Kou: What a bomblastic performance.
The human version of backup device. The King stores all the important data, queries, variables and schedules in Suhdoi's brain.He is a tell-it forget it device. You can tell him what you want to tell him and then you can forget it. Sudhoi can 'read-back' the data when you need it. So far, the king has found 0% errors with this backup device. NO CYCLICAL REDUNDANCY on this one.
After completing the project, we decided to party. The boys needed a day off from college, just in case we over party and taking into consideration the bail out procedures; Sudhoi was asked to make a call to their H.O.D and convince the H.O.D with a fable.
H.O.D: Who is calling?
SUDHOI: Me sir,
Later realizes that H.O.D does not have voice recognition software installed on him and tells his name.
H.O.D: Why No come class?
SUDHOI:SIr...sir...Function.. Road "is" blocking.. Road "is" blocking..
H.O.D: Oh!! Okayva. Okay.
Well! I appreciate him cuz, he showed the guts to communicate to his faculty about the hostile situation and the ROAD itself blocking him from going to college.
The wing man and a Zombie.He is the silent spectator.If you want to beat up someone cuz, they are talking in their sleep, this guy is whom you want to rely on. After seeing the King, scratching his 'Chin beard',[ A well sculptured mastepiece on face, like a cricket stadium,round trimmed and well manicured] , when during deep thought....Ba-bba decided to follow the king and grew a beard just like the king. All great personalities has beard. Abraham Lincoln, Jesus Christ,Sorcerer-The King etc etc.
Scientific community is trying hard to solve the link between beard and brain.According to me, a beard will help you get occupied with something during those deep thought process.
Ba-bba and Chidu were installing an application on their machine.
Chidu:aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrggh!! Why is the progress bar not moving.
Ba-bba:Let's try and tilt the screen to the right.
See My boys never fail to try out radical ideas to solve standing situations. The Ba-bba now follows his KING's beard style.
Oscillator, was my early chariot driver. He retired cuz his horse poops a lot and duct tape couldn't hold it in.
Oscillator:What's a lesbian?
Mithu:*sigh..DUDEEE!!!! It's the girl to girl thingy.
Mithu:Only when they wear strap-ons.
Of course, there are persons in this group who has failed to catch the last train from 1800 BC.
In the project group, he is my cargo hauler. Like a camel in the deserts of Sahara, he carries my bags for one lemon soda.Feed him once and next time he gives the look; the middle finger always shuts him up. He is supposed to document the whole project;but he is busy Googling the posters of Mia, the NFS chick.
The missing link of human race.Way.....wayy...down the food chain in our family.
Cousin seen sitting with a deep frown on his face, with breakfast in front of him.
Sorcerer:Hmmm... Are you gonna eat it or are you trying to tempt me?
Cousin after long minutes of silence decides to share his feelings..
Cousin:My Warthog is not giving birth..
Okay!!This is what happens when you play ZOO TYCOON for quiet a long..loonnngg..looooooonnnnnnggggg time.
My new charioteer, who drives like someone shoved chilly up his horses rear end.Driving with him makes me think that even bikes would need seat belt.
I think he already gave me an idea with Velcro tapes to hold pillion in place.
He love to race with unsuspecting Yamaha RX 100 bikes, till they beat the gooey thing out of him.
I have dedicated a whole post for him in my blog.
Biker in class [From Reliable sources]
Unix Faculty:What is a system call?
Biker Boy:Sir I know three calls only, Missed Call, Received Call, Dialed Call.
Finally, the project is complete. I feel so happy cuz, it was a fantastic experience. It's like walking the same old lane and showing the young generation your favorite pee spot.
The boys are happy, not cuz, the project is complete; but more than that it was all an experience for them. For many, the satisfaction was implementing what they learned in textbooks in a real life situation.