Thursday, March 4, 2010

.:: PROJECT MAYHEM::.


So, I was away, for a quiet long time from the blog-ville.

*sigh.

I missed my one post a day like the vitamin tablets for the under nourished. It all started with a phone call from my cousin bro.He and his fellow inmates, were required to submit a software project for their final year of college thingy.
Unlike their fellow counterparts, they thought of doing it under someones guidance(Har har har *snort *snort) rather than 'BUY' it from the outside market, with exotic titles like FTP through Blue Tooth and pay 8000/- for that.

See..the movie 3 Idiots has its effects.That's exactly what I thought too.
BUT
They just needed to save the money for tweaking their awesome bikes etc etc
*sigh


Some genius has once remarked that humans should help the ones in need, just like those wending machines that provides male members with straight jackets.
[That will keep a few occupied for a while.]

I appreciate these boys for their guts of taking that risk, i.e me.

From this point onwards, I call them slaves.Yes, the contract we (Me and the 8 others)signed allowed me to do more than that. One slave became the official cargo hauler.In short we can call him , COUSIN. He was delegated the task of carrying my bag and machine to where ever I felt like going while doing their project. I have heard that olden days, they used camels.

I had 3 different slaves as my official chauffeur.Their job was to carry the self proclaimed king (i.e Me) to places.

The rest of them were assigned the job of feeding me and help me rehydrate on time.My royal doctors have prescribed me that,I should eat exotic foods 3 times a day to keep my gray cells cool and functioning.

[*sigh, I seriously miss that days of pyramids and stuffs. Those pheromones must have really, really enjoyed those days.]

My slaves were a class apart. Of course for the records, I will cite some of their awesomeness.
____________________

[ Mr.H ]


He is the broadband and the official system sponsor for the PROJECT. He is the founder member of 'ROYAL DESPERADOS'.He even operates a blog for the same.
Don't ask why 'Desperados'? By the time he came to know the real meaning of the word 'Desperado' it was too late like Paris Hilton getting addicted to color pink. Don't try to convince him that 'Desperado' doesn't mean a 'Guy good with gun' like in a movie; he is gonna give you those look and will give his version of the story in MALLU Kochin Accent.

..
..


Mr.H in class[ From Reliable Sources]

Unix Faculty: Anybody know what is a kernel?

Mr.H:Upgrade of cadet.Sir.

____________________

[Kichu
]

Kichu: He is our official Pizza delivery guy.He knows all places where you can get things to eat at anytime of the day or night.He cooks extremely well and even cockroaches gets diarrhea when they nibble on those crumbs. Apart from being the official caterer he sleeps for the rest of us when the rest of up pull an allnighter.


Mr.H: I told you not to take YOU TUBE videos.I have crossed my bandwidth quota.

Kichu:OKAY!!
..
..
Kichu was later found using the You Tube service.

Mr H: I told you,,I told you NOT TO TAKE YOU TUBE VIDEOS.

Kichu:ALRIGHT!! LOOKIE HERE MORON! Its through orkut.Okay!
____________________

[KOU BOY]

In our team KOU BOY is the diplomat. He communicates with his team and diplomatically solve issues between the team members and the King.If Kou says MOOOOO...they all move.


KOU Boy is the future owner of a major cattle market. He is extremely good with all kind of quadrupeds. It's what I call karma. A guy who should be doing his cattle science/Cattle management is doing his computer science 'thingy'. No wonder he wasn't paying much attention to me while I was explaining to them what a particular module, did in their software.

KOU BOY seen playing Tetris on his phone.

Mr.H: Pay attention Kou, You can write software to arrange cows in a row.


..
..

Kou In class [From Reliable sources]

Bossy Madam: Guyz, You know, I completed 2 chapters in 2 days.

Kou: What a bomblastic performance.
____________________

[SUDHOI
]

The human version of backup device. The King stores all the important data, queries, variables and schedules in Suhdoi's brain.He is a tell-it forget it device. You can tell him what you want to tell him and then you can forget it. Sudhoi can 'read-back' the data when you need it. So far, the king has found 0% errors with this backup device. NO CYCLICAL REDUNDANCY on this one.


After completing the project, we decided to party. The boys needed a day off from college, just in case we over party and taking into consideration the bail out procedures; Sudhoi was asked to make a call to their H.O.D and convince the H.O.D with a fable.

H.O.D: Who is calling?

SUDHOI: Me sir,

Later realizes that H.O.D does not have voice recognition software installed on him and tells his name.

H.O.D: Why No come class?

SUDHOI:SIr...sir...Function.. Road "is" blocking.. Road "is" blocking..

H.O.D: Oh!! Okayva. Okay.

Well! I appreciate him cuz, he showed the guts to communicate to his faculty about the hostile situation and the ROAD itself blocking him from going to college.

____________________

[Ba-bba]

The wing man and a Zombie.He is the silent spectator.If you want to beat up someone cuz, they are talking in their sleep, this guy is whom you want to rely on. After seeing the King, scratching his 'Chin beard',[ A well sculptured mastepiece on face, like a cricket stadium,round trimmed and well manicured] , when during deep thought....Ba-bba decided to follow the king and grew a beard just like the king. All great personalities has beard. Abraham Lincoln, Jesus Christ,Sorcerer-The King etc etc.


Scientific community is trying hard to solve the link between beard and brain.According to me, a beard will help you get occupied with something during those deep thought process.
..
..

Ba-bba and Chidu were installing an application on their machine.

Chidu:aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrggh!! Why is the progress bar not moving.

Ba-bba:Let's try and tilt the screen to the right.

See My boys never fail to try out radical ideas to solve standing situations. The Ba-bba now follows his KING's beard style.
____________________

[Oscillator]

Oscillator, was my early chariot driver. He retired cuz his horse poops a lot and duct tape couldn't hold it in.


Oscillator:What's a lesbian?

Mithu:*sigh..DUDEEE!!!! It's the girl to girl thingy.

Oscillator:Oh!! Gay?

Mithu:Only when they wear strap-ons.

Of course, there are persons in this group who has failed to catch the last train from 1800 BC.

____________________

[Cousin]

In the project group, he is my cargo hauler. Like a camel in the deserts of Sahara, he carries my bags for one lemon soda.Feed him once and next time he gives the look; the middle finger always shuts him up. He is supposed to document the whole project;but he is busy Googling the posters of Mia, the NFS chick.


The missing link of human race.Way.....wayy...down the food chain in our family.
..
..

Cousin seen sitting with a deep frown on his face, with breakfast in front of him.

Sorcerer:Hmmm... Are you gonna eat it or are you trying to tempt me?

Cousin: *sigh

Sorcerer:err..
..
..
Cousin after long minutes of silence decides to share his feelings..

Cousin:My Warthog is not giving birth..

Sorcerer:WHAT?

Okay!!This is what happens when you play ZOO TYCOON for quiet a long..loonnngg..looooooonnnnnnggggg time.
____________________

[BIKER BOY:]

My new charioteer, who drives like someone shoved chilly up his horses rear end.Driving with him makes me think that even bikes would need seat belt.

I think he already gave me an idea with Velcro tapes to hold pillion in place.
He love to race with unsuspecting Yamaha RX 100 bikes, till they beat the gooey thing out of him.
I have dedicated a whole post for him in my blog.

Biker in class [From Reliable sources]

Unix Faculty:What is a system call?


Biker Boy:Sir I know three calls only, Missed Call, Received Call, Dialed Call.

____________________

Finally, the project is complete. I feel so happy cuz, it was a fantastic experience. It's like walking the same old lane and showing the young generation your favorite pee spot.
The boys are happy, not cuz, the project is complete; but more than that it was all an experience for them. For many, the satisfaction was implementing what they learned in textbooks in a real life situation.
__________________________+

29 comments:

Saurabh Panshikar said...

Was wondering since long what you've been upto... then someone told me that you went into hiding coz you hacked into the FBI mainframe!

I ain't gonna name that somebody!

Anyways awesome post...
LOL @ Kichu's orkut thing...
LOL @ the HOD's english
LOL @ Bubba's screen tilting

Okay LOL @ the whole dayum post!

The Bald Guy said...

Welcome back bro!

You have a tag to do on my blog!

Uncommon Sense said...

i was missing ur daily posts.. nice post..
orkut thing was really funny

rohini said...

Welcome Back....and me glad to see you....one advice now dnt be undernourished....ok

Anonymous said...

what a blog....just stop it if you can

Nipun said...

Sir sorcy makes a return.
I myself was out from a long time..
The first few lines are something which matches mine feeling..:)

Welcome back..
keep visiting

Cheers

Nuts

Nipun said...

Sir sorcy makes a return.
I myself was out from a long time..
The first few lines are something which matches mine feeling..:)

Welcome back..
keep visiting

Cheers

Nuts

Barbie Jones said...

Who is the Ohio Gay?I never could understand what lesbians got out of sex with one another,thanks for telling me.

Four Dinners said...

I have just popped along to say 'hello' to Mr H. He is your friend therefore...possibly worryingly for him...he is my friend....

'He is our official Pizza delivery guy.He knows all places where you can get things to eat at anytime of the day or night.He cooks extremely well and even cockroaches gets diarrhea when they nibble on those crumbs'

I can't marry him because A) I'm not gay and B) I'm already married.

Apart from that I would.

Kou Boy : Mooo? Cattle market? I think I can see where we are going here.

Nowt wrong with cows Kou. I like cows. Especially in Beef...;-)

Sudhoi : At my age rembering my own name is often difficult. I am Four Dinners. Please store this in your extraordinary memory banks for future reference when I think I'm called Al. Short for Alzheimers...

I had better compliment Ba-bba's beard as he may be upset if I don't. I presume Gillette gifts are not high on his list?

Nobody is possibly called Oscillator. If you are. A) My deepest sympathies and B) Hello.

WTF can you say???

Hiya Cuz. I dare you to tell him to carry his own bag!!!

Biker Boy : Now you I could ride with!....er...I'll rephrase that...Please say it isn't a moped?

All the best you young rapscallions.

One day you'll be 52 you know.

By then I'll be....er....dead?

Stay 20 odd...it's safer for me...

smitzy said...

LOL.. wat an awesome comeback sorcy!! we missed you :D

"If Kou says MOOOOO...they all move." HAHAHAHAHAHAA ROFL

and Ba-bba's solution was sweet.. the next time our lecturers face a similar problem, I'll definitely suggest this :D

don't pull a houdini act on us now :) update soon!

buzzzzzzzzz... said...

oh ...dose wer bad days.. no LMAOz..
bt nw....ROFL LMAO >>> i dunno if i hav said dis b4 but dis is d funniest post eva...
i stil cnt control my lolz...
y dnt u write a BOOOOOOOOOOK ..sorcy??

Sorcerer said...

@buzz
thank you ..
A book?
errr..
hmm...
@smitzy
thank you for the comment and the regular visits

@Four dinners
thank you for the visit and the visit to my buddies blog :)

@nipun
thank you for the comment mate.

@rohini
haha...thank you for the advice..I will see that..the vitmain needs are met daily/

@uncommonsense
thank you mate for the comment

@tha bald guy
okies..tag..I will check it out..

@sau
thank you for the comment buddy!

Dame Folle said...

Unix Faculty: Anybody know what is a kernel?

Mr.H:Upgrade of cadet.Sir.



Aaahahahaha! My absolute favourite lines in this post!

Saadi said...

Sorcy u not posting daily has also effected me...i don't log in daily anymore! My mom is very thankful to u fr that!

Jokes aside....awesome post!! Those guys shud've read ur blog before asking fr help! ;)

Sorcerer said...

@saadi
hahahaha.. :)
that comment was really something.
yeah..those guyzz are gonna get more.

@dame
thank you for the comment :)

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