.::FOR DUMMIES 5::.

I missed updating my 'For Dummies' series for the past one month. I really wanted to help those helpless souls wandering around like a plastic duck in a kiddos bath tub.

"Sorcy's Fables- Simplified for dummies" - 5 naked universal truth.[ Just like those celebrities without underwear]

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In the previous part(s) of the FOR DUMMIES series, we saw how to actually impress the girl you always wanted to impress. Through this blog post we will see, how to make her feel really really special so that the relationship holds up like bubblegum in a blonds hair.

To make a relationship successful, you should really 'care' for the other unfortunate person who is in the relationship with you. That means, you should care for her more than you care for your awesome laptop.[ I know, your laptop keeps your lap warm more than she does!!But anyway..]

Actions speak louder than word.[ I think you are well aware of the power of the middle finger.] Most of the guyz care for their girlfriends more than they care for saving the rain forests or saving the last of great Beluga whales. So inorder to show how much you care, you can call her on her phone after 12 at night and ask her if she is sleeping. Talk to her in the most romantic tone about, global warming and exit strategy of US in Afghan war, etc[ You think this is INSANE? Nope.She would think "WOW!!! my guy cares for the whole world!! She would actually feel like the Michale Obama].

Don't forget to call her atleast 4 or 5 times until you get bored with all the late-night movies and there is nothing much good on FTV or it's morning, whichever comes first.
So if you really care, show that you care for her 24/24.

You must have read every where that relationship is all about 'Sharing and Caring'. Now, if you are having your midnight snack,[BEER cannot be shared], you can wake her up from her deep sleep , tell her that you are having awesome 'Tiger biscuits' and don't feel good cuz you are having it all alone. Do give an audible sigh over the phone. That sigh should hit her arterial walls and echo around with the red blood corpuscles.
Make sure that she also hears the CRUNCHY bites. This is your way of saying.."Baby..I miss you! If you were here we could be crunching together."

[Oh!! you are welcome!! I know I am a genius..Tank you!]

Sharing is a divine thingy. If you both are out in the cold, don't try to warm her up by giving your jacket[ ?.. You wanna end up in the cold?].

Move closer to her, real closer, look her straight into the eyes,move a bit more closer, where the lips almost touch, hmm...perfect..look her into her deep eyes and ask her "Do you like to smoke?".
She would give one of those 'awesome' looks and would push you away [yes.you are right!.playing the hard to catch thingy].
Take it out, I meant the cigarette and offer her one.


Small things are wonderful.[Not according to the latest SPAM Mails]. Remember those small things in life you shared, those wonderful moments and bitch about them and have awesome fight over em. This is the best way to say that you cherish those wonderful memories and it meant a lot for you.

Truth is the key!Always tell the truth. Imagine you were out partying with hot chicks who wouldn't wear things that your girl friend would wear and has paranormal drinking habits. Next day your girlfriend would ask you about you not picking the phone calls the previous night. Most of the guyz would say the lamest excuse that would put a school kid to shame. Don't do that. Tell her that you were out partying with hot chicks and doing what not.
Seriously!! your girl friend wouldn't believe you.She would be like.."Oh!!! I know, you had lots of work at your office..Right?"
Remember, always tell the truth.

Ouch!I know, its the hardest part in a relationship, when your girlfriend says about things again and again and again in between sobs and sniffs...[I forgot the technical term!...It starts with a the letter 'B'.Noo..not those Bs.]. Don't act worse than her Teddy bear and console her like the morons in Yahoo! Chat rooms.Blame the fault on her. Deep inside they like to stand corrected by the person they care for.See, this way you are actually helping her improve and trust me, there is always scope for improvement.

Always bath in different colgnes, beer and cigarettes. There should always be a mystery surrounding you. Her nose would get numb trying to zero in on the muskish smell.This way she will think that you are mysterious. Who doesn't like mystery?

Surprises are what keeps the relationship exciting. Tell her that you would call her at a certain time and don't make that call. See! Simple.Ain't that a fantastic surprise?

Girls love humor. If you were the one who was ignoring all those lame forwarded emails, don't ignore em. Read them and tell her those jokes at those spontaneous moments like, when she is trying to get into an elevator or she is watching her fave show on T.V.

"How do I look?" Do you consider that as a rhetorical question? Not anymore. Tell her that "hmm...It could be a bit more lower/higher" and base it on the theory of relativity. Apart from considering you as 'trendy' she will consider you a e=(mc^2 )*0 genius.

Always check out other chicks wearing 'hot','trendy' designs with eyes wide open , and that kinda goes with mouth too. When your girl friend gives you those 'looks' while you are at it, lecture her on the values of 'Indian' tradition and the generation's 'gap'. Girls like guys who like to 'uphold' traditional values.

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Keep these points in mind to have an awesome relationship.
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