.::LUNGI::.

The national bird of Kerala is declared as Mosquito and the national dress is 'Lungi' or 'Mundu'.

This blog post is about the awesome trendy dress called ..'Lungi' or 'Mundu'.Pronounced as 'Lu' as in loo and 'ngi ' as in 'mongey'; lungi can be identified by wonderful floral patterns or patterns like that of window curtain on it.'Mundu',is normally white in color and is worn on special occasions like 'Harthal' days, marriage days etc etc.

Lungi, is simple and 'down to earth' like that of a mallu.[Don't ask!]. Lungi is the only dress that has reached the apex of evolution in it's category.
Wearing something on the top half of your body is optional when you are wearing a lungi. This is the reason why females are not found wearing this awesome dress. [*sigh]
Lungi is a strategic dress. It's like a one size fit all pajama for Keralites.

The technique of wearing a lungi/mundu is passed on from generation to generation through verbal communication. If you think it is an easy task to wear it. you are wrong! It requires lot of techniques, including breathe control. A lungi/mundu when perfectly worn won't come off even if it showed 8 on the richter scale.
A lungi is not attached to the waist using duct tape, staple,rope or velcro. it's a bit of mallu magic whose formula is a closely guarded secret like that of Coca Cola ingrediants.

"Wearing a lungi and managing to keep it up there is tougher than flying a MIG. I can fly a MIG with eyes closed, but not wear a lungi..*sigh:- A retired MIG pilot who doesn't liked to be named.


[Lungi worn at Full Mast]


A lungi can be worn 'FULL MAST' or 'Half Mast'. Like the flags of nation flown at different heights, a lungi can be worn at different heights.
A 'Full Mast' lungi is when you let the gravity do the work and wear it hiding your sexy hairy awesome one of a kind bombastic yoohoowoohooo legs. When you are showing respect to an elderly or someone dead [Too elderly, that is], a lungi/mundu is worn at full mast. Wearing it at full mast has lots of disadvantages, rather than advantages. A major disadvantage can be experienced when the neighbour dog 'Pintu mon' runs after you. When you are wearing a lungi/mundu at full mast, the advantage is mainly for the chicks and the woman folks.


[Lungi Worn at Half Mast]

Wearing a lungi 'Half Mast' is when you wear it exposing your sexy hairy awesome one of a kind bombastic yoohoowoohooo legs and your thighs like that of Shakeela. Lungi is worn such a way to show supremacy and seduce neighbour chicks with your sexy hairy legs. A mallu can play cricket, foot ball or any ball when the lungi is worn in half mast.A mallu can even climb a coconut tree by wearing lungi in half mast.

"It's not a good idea to look up on a mallu when he is on a coconut tree"- Sorcerer

Most mallu's celebrate the traditional dance festival the -"kudiyattam" ("Kudi" means drinking alcohol and yattam,spelled as "aattam" meaning random movement of body.Note that 'y' is silent.When you are drinking , you drink, there is no 'y'.) wearing a lungi. Any alcohol related "festival" can be enjoyed to the maximum when you are dressed in the traditional attire that is topless with lungi and with a towel tied around the head.
"It's easy to dance and shake the legs" says an expert in 'kudiyaattam'.

The 'Lungi Wearing Mallu Union' [LUWMU, pronounced LOVE MU], a union which works towards the 'upliftment' of lungi cult, strongly disagree the younger generation's trend of wearing Burmuda under the lungi. They say that making youngsters wear Burmuda under the lungi is a hidden agenda by the CIA.

"When we were their age, we fought for the freedom of movement, and we protested for it by wearing nothing under our lungi; We have spilled many things for it."- Says a very senior person of LUWMU.
"It's a disgrace to see a person wearing burmuda with corporate logos under his lungi.What they don't know is, how much these corporates are limiting their freedom of movment and expression". He adds.

A malayali wears lungi round the year, all climates, all seasons. It's like a second skin. Unlike 'summer dress','monsoon fashion' etc etc a mallu has one fashion only!Lungi fashion that does not fade or change from season to season.According to the mallu philosophy, the better way to celebrate the winter is by wearing lungi with floral pattern.Good.No?

Lungi provides a good ventilation system round the year. A mallu is scared of global warming more than anyone else in the world.

A lungi/mundi can be worn any time of the day/night. [Some double it as blanket at night.] It also doubles up as swimwear, parachute, facemask, shopping basket,water filter,sleeping bag , a swing.etc etc. When these lungi's are decommissioned from service,they become table cloths..Hmm...The options are endless. There should be a subject in colleges called "Applied Lungionics'.

According to some reports the reason behind the low productivity [Should not be confused with population] in kerala is due to the fact that 80% of the productive working hour is spend for wearing the lungi at half mast. No wonder that wearing lungi/mundu properly is an added career skill.The population figures show that 'productivity' increases when people don't wear lungi/mundu..hence proved.

The first thing a lungi n00b does after waking up from his bed is to search for his lungi.It takes a while before the lungi actually manages to stick to the waist of the person wearing it. The 'lungi/mundu pulling competition' is done in households having many youngsters. Such lungi pulling competition happens during the ONAM and Vishu festival seasons. Most of the time the big time victims of the 'lungi/mundu pulling competition' are n00bs who happens to be from gelf. Their parents, boast about their 'kiddos' not knowing how to wear 'mundu/lungi' [*sigh] and say that this dress is not suited while driving camels.

Its rumoured that few corporate educational centers [which managed to survive in Kerala] are actually planning to start a certification course in 'Lungi Wearing'. These courses are mainly aimed at NRI's. It's estimated that these educational centers will make lots of revenue during the festival season.
It's hard for the younger generation to 'uphold' the tradition on their waist. Soon there would be a compulsory course in Lungi wearing in schools and colleges. The Kerala Government has actually, urged the people to wear traditional clothes on Saturdays, to save the Khadi industry, which actually is a good thing.
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I think a lungi/mundu is the best invention after the invention of fire.
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