Thursday, February 4, 2010

.:JIJU MON:.


People name things that fancies their imagination in very different ways. My friend Biju decided to name his bike and out of the world name, he calls his bike "Jiju Mon". I know its very today and very mallu for a mallu. Usually the word "Mon" is used by mallu at the business end of any swear words and in positive terms which it refers as a very 'lovable " person.

This incident happened (when I say "incident" its always very thought provoking) a long time ago.I was riding on a bike driven by the Stunter/rider and all round Biker GURU "Mr.B".It was a new Yamaha FZ that was goin smooth as MS paint running on a dual processor.It was then that Maha Biker Mr.B confined an honour upon me

Mr.B: Hey!!! Wanna ride it?

Me : WTF????

Mr.B: DO U want to ride my bike???????....(And sighs)

Me : Sure ....cool!!!

I felt elated upon being honoured in the middle of the highway by none other than Mr.B himself and in person.

Me :Look ,B ,,I havent had a crack at bikes 4 a loooong time so.......

Mr.B:(givin me an anger/sympathetic look....I wonder how he does that!!!)
This is the 150cc blah blah blah FZ 16 anyone can ride it

He said it in a way that he meant"But only I can do tricks with it"

Me :Ok.....here we go!!!!


The next minute,the bike was doing Hrithik Roshan's "Ek pal ka jeena" step. It's always good to try something awesome in the middle of the road with some one else's bike.

Mr.B:WTF r u doin??????

Me :U said anyone can do it......

Mr.B:Dont play with the clutch.....i'm not your backriding bitch(clutch...bitch....wow Mr.B)
release the clutch slooooowly while u accelerate sloooowly!!!!

Me :Like dis?

And what do u know!!!
I was goin.....I have to admit, It was a smooth ride...A bit too smooth 4 me though

The bike was cruising at 50 and gaining momentum.. then suddenly!!!!

Me :B!!!! Big bad container truck at 12'o'clock

Mr.B :Dont panic!!(Thats our B ...always focused...always in control til he gets married!!!)
give it some gas

Me :vroom vroom...

Mr.B:Now honk the horn

Me :Honk honk

Mr.B:keep on honkin it,down a gear ang zip past it

woooooWeiiiiii!!!!!!!

That created some major adrenalin!!!

The Haryanvi truck driver happened to chant some mantra at me and(most probably) guru B too.

I don't know how the chanting started but it sure ended with typical North Indian "...uud"

"Wow Mr.B has folowers everywhere" I thought!!!!

The rest of the journey was smooth.Not many chicks on the road as one would expect in the movies; but only electric posts and telephone polls watching us zip past em in skirt raisin speed.(That's one thing we guys can try and do easy on a bike)

Then suddenly I saw THE KSRTC BUS.The KSRTC(Kerala State Tansport Corporation) bus is the ultimate weapon against the unsuspecting pedestrian........or anything that gets in it's way

I remembered Mr.B's words.....honk-accelerate-down-honk&accelerate.I did just that but suddenly

Mr.B:WTF are u doin?.........WTF are u doin?

Me :Don't worry B I got it covered

Mr.B:OMFG!!!!!
OMFG!!!!!

Me :Why are you screamin?

Mr.B:HALT....STOP.....BRAKE.....AEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Me :Alright.....dont bellow whats the matter?

Mr.B:That is the KSRTC(big scary music).......its suicide to try and play with it

Like many of the legendary bikers,Mr.B has also had a share of the KSRTC "paint trade"(go play NFS MW)

The sinister bus pulled up on a stop and almost over one bystander

Me :WOw ......I guess we would have been sandwiched!!!

Mr.B:More like chappathis .( A true Desi;he prefer to stick to Indian foods, even in such extreme cases)

Me :So how do u deal with a KSRTC while its running?(We overtook it when it stopped)

Mr.B:The Kerala biker rulebok says to turn on your headlights,indicators and everything that shines,put the bike in low gear, pray and chant very very hard.

Soon that event got out of my mind and B started to explain about his new monster, which actually is his bike.To me, it sounded like blah blah blah..

Mr.B:look at it's shiny red paint

Me :Black is the trend

Mr.B:It's got a headlamp that is directly linked to the battery

Me :I like that but its much better to use a UPS in between

Mr.B:It's got mono suspension

Me :It better be good B..........kerala's roads can devour anything

Mr.B:It's got Midship

Me :Does it float?

Mr.B:It's got the widest tyre on Indian roads

Me :Bigger than tractor tyres?

Mr.B:c'mon sway the bike from side to side and see what I mean

Me :wow that is cool....its got good control

Mr.B:It;s got a front disc brake.........

Me :Really!!!.....

(nasty screeching/screaming sound)

__________________________+

25 comments:

Four Dinners said...

I am extremely pissed and extremely tired.

I have, therefore, not a scooby.

I will return sober(ish) and try again.

Nite old bean

Nipun said...

The moral of the story is:
Never allow sorcy ride your bike..:)
Gr8 work dude!!

Cheers

Nuts

Karthik said...

That's it? It ended abruptly. I wish you'd continued.
It was awesome, man.

Sakshi said...

Yeah- I am not even sitting behind you on YOUR bike ever. (As if you are ever going to offer me a ride anyways)...
And I din know KSRTC was worse than Delhi Blue line...!!!

chitra said...

Not only KSRTC buses, you have to be careful about the cars zooming that carries the State ministers.

Queenmatrai said...

I call my car "Babe the First"
LOL

Shaiz said...

ROFL n awesome blog :D

Farila said...

You do have great sense of humor... weird sense of humor can I say??

supriya said...

To be honest...not typically sorcerer...!! kept me reading till the end..in the search of that "sorcerer effect"....but...for me it didn't work out...!!

Oxymoron said...

fun post...loved the KSRTC part...though i doubt they are as dangerous as the bluelines they have in Delhi....i once saw a man being literally thrown out by the conductor....that was absolutely ridiculous...

theschmuck said...

Fun!but I agree with supriya,this post somehow lacks the sorcy edge.But no sweat man!

swapnanjali said...

Enjoyed a lot...yes Like KSRTC , here BMTC buses are king on the road ...so be careful :)

Chocolate Lover said...

sigh*
guys loves their bike more than their life but y? [O.O]

Chocolate Lover said...

btw agreed with others.. missed the sorcy thing :|

susie said...

u din have an accident?? *sighhhh..

i was expecting it to end on broken bones note.. :P

Saadi said...

Hd it not been fr the conversation...this wud've been a very dull post!

Sorcy ur conversation saved it frm crashing....btw, ws this the first time ne1 let u ride their bike?

Meenakshi said...

right about the KSRTC.

the final conversation was cool.. guys can actually go on and on about their bikes..

I have such details given to me every other day by enthoos bikers at office..and it was too blah blah to me.. now I amaze my guy telling him bits and pieces of these gems of blah blah.. and he goes like "Wow! my gal is cool.. You can ride my bike once in a while.. it has blah blah blah".

$.RYN.$ said...

i once wanted to learn how to ride a bike.......the start was encouraging, the ending however was awfully persuasive... ;) nice post man, like d the humor!!

Sorcerer said...

@$.RYN.$
yeah..its really fun.
:)
thank you for the comment

@meenakshi
haha..now you know

@saadi
yeah..I did that in a hurry.I was kinda caught up with some project

@susie
Aaaarrrrgghh
*sigh

@chocolate lover
yeah.did this post in a hurry

@swapnajali
yeah..i know.i read about em.
*sigh

@theschmuck
haha.yeah.i know.. :(
thanks for the comment

@oxymoron
thanks for the comment
yeah..K.S.R.T.C..its the whole sale dept at times.

@supriya
thanks for the comment.
I was in a hurry on the post.

@Farila
haha..thanks.:)

@shaiz
thanks for the comment

@QueenMatrai
thanks for the comment ..O queen

@chitra
yeah..that too

@sakshi
Delhi blue lines..i think now.accidents are kinda like a state service

@karthik
yeah..i was in a hurry yesterday

@nipun
thank you for the comment

@fourdinners
haha..okay
see ya again
thanks for droppin by

Rishi said...

don't fear man... us mumbai wala's r getting our buses just to KSRTC level...

wonder what'll happen when these guys get behind the wheels of Airplanes

Sorcerer said...

@rishi
hahaha..@comment on mumbaiwalas

Megha said...

ohh god, that was hilarious.....and that hritik roshan move..was funny :)

D said...

i totally agree with Susie... wish the haryanvi truck guy had caught up with u idits...

Sorcerer said...

@megha
thank you for the comment

@D
hahaha ho ho..
:p

Yemiledu said...

chappatis :P
NIce funny one as usual..