People name things that fancies their imagination in very different ways. My friend Biju decided to name his bike and out of the world name, he calls his bike "Jiju Mon". I know its very today and very mallu for a mallu. Usually the word "Mon" is used by mallu at the business end of any swear words and in positive terms which it refers as a very 'lovable " person.
This incident happened (when I say "incident" its always very thought provoking) a long time ago.I was riding on a bike driven by the Stunter/rider and all round Biker GURU "Mr.B".It was a new Yamaha FZ that was goin smooth as MS paint running on a dual processor.It was then that Maha Biker Mr.B confined an honour upon me
Mr.B: Hey!!! Wanna ride it?
Me : WTF????
Mr.B: DO U want to ride my bike???????....(And sighs)
Me : Sure ....cool!!!
I felt elated upon being honoured in the middle of the highway by none other than Mr.B himself and in person.
Me :Look ,B ,,I havent had a crack at bikes 4 a loooong time so.......
Mr.B:(givin me an anger/sympathetic look....I wonder how he does that!!!)
This is the 150cc blah blah blah FZ 16 anyone can ride it
He said it in a way that he meant"But only I can do tricks with it"
Me :Ok.....here we go!!!!
The next minute,the bike was doing Hrithik Roshan's "Ek pal ka jeena" step. It's always good to try something awesome in the middle of the road with some one else's bike.
Mr.B:WTF r u doin??????
Me :U said anyone can do it......
Mr.B:Dont play with the clutch.....i'm not your backriding bitch(clutch...bitch....wow Mr.B)
release the clutch slooooowly while u accelerate sloooowly!!!!
Me :Like dis?
And what do u know!!!
I was goin.....I have to admit, It was a smooth ride...A bit too smooth 4 me though
The bike was cruising at 50 and gaining momentum.. then suddenly!!!!
Me :B!!!! Big bad container truck at 12'o'clock
Mr.B :Dont panic!!(Thats our B ...always focused...always in control til he gets married!!!)
give it some gas
Me :vroom vroom...
Mr.B:Now honk the horn
Me :Honk honk
Mr.B:keep on honkin it,down a gear ang zip past it
That created some major adrenalin!!!
The Haryanvi truck driver happened to chant some mantra at me and(most probably) guru B too.
I don't know how the chanting started but it sure ended with typical North Indian "...uud"
"Wow Mr.B has folowers everywhere" I thought!!!!
The rest of the journey was smooth.Not many chicks on the road as one would expect in the movies; but only electric posts and telephone polls watching us zip past em in skirt raisin speed.(That's one thing we guys can try and do easy on a bike)
Then suddenly I saw THE KSRTC BUS.The KSRTC(Kerala State Tansport Corporation) bus is the ultimate weapon against the unsuspecting pedestrian........or anything that gets in it's way
I remembered Mr.B's words.....honk-accelerate-down-honk&accelerate.I did just that but suddenly
Mr.B:WTF are u doin?.........WTF are u doin?
Me :Don't worry B I got it covered
Me :Why are you screamin?
Me :Alright.....dont bellow whats the matter?
Mr.B:That is the KSRTC(big scary music).......its suicide to try and play with it
Like many of the legendary bikers,Mr.B has also had a share of the KSRTC "paint trade"(go play NFS MW)
The sinister bus pulled up on a stop and almost over one bystander
Me :WOw ......I guess we would have been sandwiched!!!
Mr.B:More like chappathis .( A true Desi;he prefer to stick to Indian foods, even in such extreme cases)
Me :So how do u deal with a KSRTC while its running?(We overtook it when it stopped)
Mr.B:The Kerala biker rulebok says to turn on your headlights,indicators and everything that shines,put the bike in low gear, pray and chant very very hard.
Soon that event got out of my mind and B started to explain about his new monster, which actually is his bike.To me, it sounded like blah blah blah..
Mr.B:look at it's shiny red paint
Me :Black is the trend
Mr.B:It's got a headlamp that is directly linked to the battery
Me :I like that but its much better to use a UPS in between
Mr.B:It's got mono suspension
Me :It better be good B..........kerala's roads can devour anything
Mr.B:It's got Midship
Me :Does it float?
Mr.B:It's got the widest tyre on Indian roads
Me :Bigger than tractor tyres?
Mr.B:c'mon sway the bike from side to side and see what I mean
Me :wow that is cool....its got good control
Mr.B:It;s got a front disc brake.........
(nasty screeching/screaming sound)