Friday, April 2, 2010

.::READING SIGNS::.

One of my unfortunate friend found it hard to sleep at night, cuz something was bothering him.

"Bothers a man, hard things will"-Sorcerer

He was 'actually' not 'sure' if a certain girl liked him. This thought of her made him hard to sleep.[Hmm...These sentences, are supposed to sound a bit weird.]

According to him "She is crazy".

We, a panel of 'experts' told him that its just the weather acting up on her and anyone experiencing heat would make people act crazy. [No Pun intended]. We based our 'awesome' conclusion on this 'proven' fact that ; if a girl loves you she will ignore you like America ignoring Mexico.

My knowledgeable friend who has close encounters with the woman kind gave deep insight into the working of the complex 'love system.' He says that if a girl loves you she will ignore you.She wont even pick your phone calls.She would give you 'those' looks. She would even change the usual road she takes so as 'not' to see you. Her eyes would widen up, pretty scary though.These inputs or rather we may call facts come from my knowledgeable friend's own experience with the many girls he 'planned' to court, whom he says had extreme 'crush' on him.

Inorder to understand or as people wearing lab coats say, "decipher" if_a_girl_sees_you_That_way let us see some parameters.

1)Eye Contact.

Yes! To see if she is making eye contact, you have to see her face which is quiet a few inches above where you would normally be looking. If a girl is ' kinda Checking you out' [Refer: Aiswarya Rai in the movie Dhoom], she probably likes you. If a girl, really likes you she would be making direct eye contact.Make sure you are not wearing mickey mouse tattoo on your forehead.[Girls tend to get distracted by color.]

Make sure that you 'notice' her eye contact. Grab her face and look deep into her eyes. Widen her eyes and find out if her pupils are dilated.If her pupils are dilated, Wow!! you have managed to get into her arteries.
If her pupils are not dilated, don't get discouraged, a few beers would dilate everything you need.


2)Body Language.

This is another way to know if a woman likes you.Watch her closely.If she is attracted to you she would turn a bluish pink color, cuz of the 'internal pressure' of being attracted to you.
When she is talking to you she would end every sentence with a moan. She would be looking deep into your eyes and would be rubbing her hands on the skin giving you those looks .
She stares at u like someone on a diet for 3 weeks would stare at a bowl of chocolate fudge with whipped cream and extra chocolate sauce[ooohh la la].

She would be all over you like spilled hot coffee on your T-shirt. She would say "Oh yeah!!" or "yes" everytime you ask her something.She would laugh and giggle more than usual cuz you make her nuts with the sardar jokes you googled and learned by heart.

She would make the expression on her face like 'Shakeela', when Shakeela is applying nail polish.[Yes, Mallu porn do have a 'touching' story-line.].


3)Focus

When a girl is attracted to you, she would ask you personal questions, cuz the focus is always you. The questions would be very personal like

a)If you were a waiter and a customer was being rude, would you spit in their food?
'Spit' is the key word.

b)What was your first date like?
She just wanted to know who paid the bill.So answer it straight.

c)If you suddenly found yourself turned into a woman, how would you spend your day?
Asking stupid questions would be a very proper answer.

d)If you could be invisible, where would you go and what would you do?
Muaahahahahahaahahahah..Do an evil laugh and the rest is self explanatory.

She would be interested in every minor details about your life, especially how many girls you had dated.[Which ofcourse is a myth like the UFO]So do your math perfectly and make sure that it's an odd number.She would be like the Windows Operating system, always asking you for some confirmation or approval. Don't get pissed off cuz you asked for it.

____________________

The experts panel in the end told my friend to closely watch the 'Crazy Female' and bring us a detailed field report to help them come to a conclusion, if she is 'interested' in my friend.

A helping mind is a good thing. No?

__________________________+


12 comments:

Readers Dais said...

Hey Panel experts,

cud u please analyse the situation where the girl smiles at ones proposal and agrees, but later complaints to her father about the same( at the age of 13 )
any comments from sorcys expert panel ??

as usual good one dude...

adreamygal said...

heheheeeh..dats a gud one ..though bit old fashioned but at some cases holds very true today ;):P...kudos to researchers fo noticing , understanding/reading a womens mind :P:D

Sumira Khan said...

Haha... nice try, but I don't think we girls are so predictable. As you probably already know, we are so totally complicated that we don't understand us either! :)

Anya said...

Lovely to read
are you a expert ;)
LOL

sorcerer said...

@readersdias
haha..I know who must have got intothe trouble.
hmm..Iwould give such situations..a thought..

@a dreamygirl
thank you for the comment

@Sumira Khan
thank you for the comment

!@anya
thank you for the comment

Neethu said...

um...somehow i feel the expert panel isnt experienced enf:P

Sorcerer said...

@neethu
hahaha...errr..hmmm...
thats why its called experts panel!

SindhuBhairavi said...

you n ur quotes :)

How dare u advice someone to widen a girls eyes and check if the pupils are dilated? he will surely loose his eyes if he tries this on the smart species!

enjoyed reading this :)

Sorcerer said...

@sindhu Bhairavi

its scientific theory..To confirm that we have to check if the pupils are dilated!

enda...innathe kalathu sathyam parayan padille...My Gwad!

Sunshine said...

If u want to knw abt Crazy Gals Watch How i met ur mother's season 2..u'll get enuf info...lols...ur panel is also puttin wise efforts but needs improvement...serioulsy

Sorcerer said...

@sunshine
yeah..experts panel is doing a crash course on that..
ha ha

Geethu said...

hmmm... m a follower now! :)