Saturday, April 3, 2010


English has many dialects, so does every other language. Mallu version of English is widely different from any accent of English known to mankind.Its scientifically proven that the use of coconut oil makes the tongue slip and won't stick to the top portion of the mouth, hence the air is released out of the mouth like a acupunctured foot ball, making the words sound a bit weird. That is why most Mallu's find it difficult to speak like a saipp[ Male foreigner.]

Mallu accent is simble and eacee to understand though. The trick to understand Mallu English is to repeat the word that confused you again and again and again in your mind, and try to match it with the combination of words that go with the situation you are in. Suresh Gopi and Mammootty is widely regarded as the English teachers of Mallus. Suresh Gopi taught each and every kid in Kerala the word 'Shit'. A word which has many possibilities like the word Fcuk.Shit also mean anything and everything in English like the word Fcuk. 'Sense and Sensibility' is the contribution of Mammootty to the Malluwood.

Lolakutty, a well known Mallu Amminikutty, has also done lots of researrch on Manglish[Manglish is an Anglomallu kid born out of unprotected coitus of Malayalam and English.].Many regard Lolakutty as the brand ambassador of Manglish only.


It is a rule in certain pools that they don't allow you to dive into the pool.
So there was these awesome guys who went on for a trip to Goa. After emjoying the 'scenic' beauty they decided to spend 'quality' time at the pool.

Tharu who was in the lead decided to 'enlighten' the oasssum chicks by the pool with his 'dolphin dive' in which, he usually, ends up flat on the belly resulting in splash of water and agonizing cry like a buffalo on heat.[ Ammmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:err..My best effort to put the agonizing cry in letters.]

After doing that masterpiece diving he was bobbling up and down in the pool like a lonely coconut lost in sea. He was so proud of his diving ,cuz he nearly scared lil kiddos at the pool side with the heavy splash, giving them a free kiddo-wash and diluting the kiddo's lemon juice with awesome pool water.
"Shit", escaped out of someones mouth, but it got diluted with the sound of 'Splashing' of water.

That's when the 'authorities' decided to enforce the law. They came and told him that "NO DIVING ALLOWED."

Tharu, was staring at the 'authority' . He was giving them an sugarless tea look.[ Read:A look without any emotions on face like sugarless tea.]
"No Diving Allowed". Says the pool guy again.
Tharu simbly does the bling bling with his eyes.

The pool guy waited for a few more seconds to get some kind of human feedback, like .."errr..Sorry" or "err...Okay" from Tharu; which of course never happened.The pool guy must have thought Tharu must be deaf and dumb.
The following conversation were in Malayalam.Translated for my blog readers

Tharu:What did he say?

Friend 1:What?

Tharu:What did the pool guy say?

Friend 1:Oh! He said..No Deiwing allowed.

Tharu:oh!! We cant Deiw here?

Friend 1:No.


So when the word 'diving' reach the south, it hits the Nilgiri moutains and slightly dent a lil bit.So 'diving' become 'Deiwing'.
Anyway, Tharu later confessed that if he could understand 'Their English' he would have apologized for falling flat out on belly in the pool.


Gautam Anand said...

:) Dialects can always be funny.. and so is ur post..

Inviting u to comment on my new poem !!

Pesto Sauce said...

Will be shifting to Gulf soon...will get to hear lot of this for sure

Sorcerer said...

@pesto Sauce
Gelf? its not gulf..its gelf


thanks for the comment
Sure thing mate!

Anonymous said...

hey buddy gud observation of Manglish...are u Mallu?..but u knw my Mallu friends spk gud English.

@ease said...

yet anoder saircasam :P and a masterpiece

Sankoobaba said...

ha ha..gud one!

Americanising Desi said...

lol! we have Urdish here and yes I know very much what you mean

Short Poems said...

Really good one :)

Saurabh Panshikar said...

I be commenting after a long time!

This post is simple oosum

I love LoLa. Will she maari me?

I wonder where you saw a buffalo in heat #justasking

Readers Dais said...

Thatees rite eh Sorcy,
goooddu one fram yuu

Megha said...

good one sorcy..south indian accent is interesting to hear :) I mean only English...

Sorcerer said...

yeah..good no?
thanks for the comment


on the discovery channel
hmmm...thanks for the comment

thanks for the comment

@americanising desi
thanks for the comment



i know..this ones a rarity.

Anonymous said...

My hero always............
Check this joke in manglish..typical example.
viewer discretion is advice..