Monday, September 28, 2009

< COMMUNICATION >


I was reading this cool book on communication. It is a thick book. My friend who brought it was using it as a pillow. May be he is trying one of those 'Osmosis' concept, he learned in school days . Who knows, humans are so complex.

Let me give you some 'Awesome' communication tips.(FOR FREE)

Let me make it professional.

Communication is an amazing tool. Blessed are the human animals, who has found multitude of ways, for communication.
Ofcourse human animals would be, because human animals with their highly evolved brain( in some cases), has managed to 'chew' all the way up the food chain. That itself is a proof that , human animals indeed, are superior animals.


[ From here onwards, Human animals would be refered as "Humans" or "us" and other animals as "animals" unless otherwise explicitly stated. ]

PASSIVE COMMUNICATION:

No, if you are thinking about, those communication we do under our breath or in our mind like "Suit you a[beep] hole." or " F[beep] off" etc to those who have superior strength or influence than us in the corporate chain or emotional chain, you are totally wrong.
That's not passive communication. That's simply BURRRP!! in silence.


Lets see. Imagine you have this thick book with you. You have kept it on your table, so that everyone who comes into your room can see that.
Now, Imagine, if your girl friend or a would be girl friend happens to see that; She will think.

"Wow!!! this guy reads. I don't have to teach him anything. He knows everything.How Lucky me!!!"

See, anything thicker has its effect on girls.

*reading between the lines is another 'smart way' of deciphering communication.

Here, you have communicated, some things about you to her without any words. It's perceived.

I know what you are thinking now on thicker books.
Let me warn you guys, don't try to impress her by keeping thicker books like a dictionary or something. It would bring a negative effect , like

DARN!!!, THIS GUY USING DICTIONARY?, VERY 1980's. I SHOULD RUN AWAY!!"
So be careful what you are communicating even passively.

MAKING YOUR POINT CLEAR:

Animals, they use different ways to make their point clear. All the animals, care about is, food and mate. They don't have 'Marker Pen' or 'Sticky Labels' to mark their belongings, so animals u use a chemical concoction called 'Pheromones' .They mark their territory with it.

Humans also claim their territory with some chemical concoction called 'FARTOMONES'.[ I hope this word some day, will make it into Webster's dictionary]. FARTOMONES are otherwise known as 'Laughing Gas' in layman's terms.

When the human who, release this chemical concoction into the air, is telling others that : "HEY!! GET OUTTA MY TERRITORY.THIS IS MINE". Only those humans with thick skull will stand around. Others will just move away looking for greener pastures.
Some humans who release this 'chemical concoction', bellows a 'SORRY', in off-key harmony with the release below.


THE SIGN LANGUAGE:

Sign language is using the body and its appendages for communication, without the voice.
This technique is employed by animals too; Let's just concentrate on the humans.

In this humanosphere [ Another word by me for, Websters, meaning:Sphere, that is earth that is habitat-able by the humans], Sign language differs from place to place.

Let's take an example:

Giving "thumbs up" sign in Brazil means
"You wanna get laid?" [ Translation for dummies: Want to have Sex?]

in US of A the same sign means
"Done!! Deal!! " [ Eg: Yeah!! We got laid]

in India,it means
"Good Luck" [ Eg: Hope you get laid..Good luck]

Varied and improvised forms of 'Visual Communication' can be best observed in exam halls.

From my personal experience, visual communication has aided me in shopping at local stores without knowing the local language; especially name of things; when I was in Bangalore for the first time.
Thank God!! I come from the land of 'KATHAKALI'. It was a walk in the park for me.

RECESSION HIT COMMUNICATION:

This is the most prominent form of communication, that is on the rage these days.
If you want to communicate, we give 'missed call' or 'blank call' on mobile. These calls, follow a predefined standard procedure. Let us get into detail on this with a small example.

____________________

EXAMPLE M_1:

Mr. A to Mr B (In person):If you reach near my house.Give me a 'Missed Call/Blank Call'.I will come down.
Mr.B to Mr A(In person):Yes I will.

____________________

Here, Mr A is expecting a 'Missed Call/Blank Call' on his mobile when Mr B reaches near his home. They have agreed on a standard communication format, which yields them a result and also they are saving on economy.

This form of communication is used in more complex ways like "If you are in an emergency, give 3 missed calls in a row.I will call you back."

Here the actors or humans are trying to communicate without causing much damage to his/her economy. It is a recommended form of communication during this recession hit times.

TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION:

This is still a mystery to science like UFO's and Burmuda Triangle Telepathic communication happens, without much knowledge between the two persons.Usually its described as "I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE UPTO. MOVE AWAY AND SIT ON THE OTHER BENCH.MY DAD IS IN THE ARMY."

____________________

Let us use a scenario here.



____________________

It's those vibes which happened to manifest in us, without our knowledge; those vibes picked up by the sensory organs of the recipient, which are then compared and analysed with the data stored, providing a physical /verbal response from the recipient.

Its also a better way to 'put forward' your pathetic intentions on your squirming target, never giving up and hoping for a response.

As I understood, that this is a very vast topic and I am cutting short my lecture, as I value your time.
Start communicating.Let's make those telecom companies ric
h.

__________________________+


17 comments:

anurag said...

nice!! intro>>

Sorcerer said...

@anurag.

Intro?
okay you meant the post below!

Dan* said...

Giving "thumbs up" sign in Brazil means......Lol :-D

giving miss calls in emergency,(:-D) only a memon kanjoos would do that...

Telecom companies are already looting us by charging 12 paisa for every balance check and inquiries :-X

Sorcerer said...

@dan
thanks for the comment.

angel from heaven said...

ha ha kewl tips and ideas.Let me go n buy some thick books to place on my office table.!!!Any suggestions to titles??? :)

susie said...

u r reading too many books these days?? :P

Sorcerer said...

@angel
since you are an eye specialist(Doctor),,, why not impress the patient with "Eye Surgery for Dummies".

@susie

yeah.. books give us awesome knowledge

RoHiT said...

hahaha....Awesome....you TIPPED us with Communication :P

᠌L̶f̶A̶n̶A̶g̶a̶᠌ said...

LOLZZ rELLY gOOD iNTRO

Sorcerer said...

@rohit
thank you for the comment.

@L̶f̶A̶n̶A̶g̶a̶᠌

Thanks for the comment.Happy to know that you liked it!

mk said...

cool communication skills dude!!..guess how many of that used my you..lol

keep it going man!..enlight us with these things...we kinda use them up!!

anurag said...

Hey dude I read ur blog and asked a brazilian gal Raquel Greeve here staying in my apartment about is giving "thumbs up" sign in Brazil means
"You wanna get laid?" [ Translation for dummies: Want to have Sex?]..

She got really pissed and denied it completely, according to her it means "good luck", "salute kinda gesture"...

So ur writeup on brazil was quiet incorrect :)

www.anuragarch.blogspot.com

Sorcerer said...

@anurag
lemme tell ya..I got it from a book.
a book by a well-known author on communication

errr.>i dink I will have to google up rather than believing in books these days..

hey dude..thanks for the input

@mk
thank you buddy for ze comment

Karthik said...

One more mind boggling post. Kudos!:)
Your posts keep getting better and better.. :)
And by the way, I could read between the lines... :D :P

Sorcerer said...

@karthik

Thank you..thank you..
I thought I missed that thick line!

Saurabh Panshikar said...

dude gr8 post!
Communication without words is as important!
One thought tho........ I'd rather give one miss call when I'm in emergency for the fear that my next call would be received by mistake! lol!

I guess anurag asked the wrong gal bout the thumbs up........ otherwise now he'd be giving us the thumbs up in context of the US of A!!! Hard Luck!

Sorcerer said...

@saurabh
thanks for the comment..
lookin for update on your blog.