THE AXE EFFECT
Yesterday! I was had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine and that exactly is the reason for this blog post.
Then..since she wast just like me during her history classes and has the geographical perception that "Let there be Commies-Like...Totally!!!" about Kerala-; I royally gave her my own version of Kerala mythology and got away with - it unharmed.
Later..I had the same discussion & debate about Kerala Mythology with my "knowledgeable" friend and he told me the "Real Kerala Mythology". I believed him cuz..he had brought beer.
Long before, there was no Kerala, no commies in the south.It was thick dark forest down there..I meant the south part of India. Now we are talking about B.C [In modern calculations]. The whole place was thick forests where lions and tigers grazed and feasted on mangoes and jack-fruits. According to my friend who narrated me this mythology, animals were much gentler than a clan of humans called "Warriors" which occupied those parts, those times.
[Crouching Tiger- Flying Dragon]
Also in those forests lived saints, they lived peacefully in the forests. Seriously, nothing has changed much along that line, even today if you want peace..you can pack your bags and go to any wild life reserve in Kerala. [Nope..I am not talking about the Assembly building in that place]
These saints had a cow named Kamadhenu. It was like our
refrigerator, ADB[Asian development Bank]Just ask the cow what you want and it gives you the food etc etc. For the saints, Kamadhenu was the Maveli store a.k.a SupplyCo
There was a king, lets call him, just the king. He was the alpha male of the Warrior Clan. The king felt so bored after sitting at home for so long and doing nothing.Those days there was no I.P.L. No WC. No N.D.T.V to entertain you.
So he simbly wandered into the forest to hunt some animals. After hunting for some time he felt bored again just like a kindergarten kid.
See..the hardships of being a king!! *sigh
He walked deeper into the forest...
On the trek to the forest
Coconut oil in his hair
Warm smell of puttu..
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
he saw a saint in dotted lungi!
His tummy rumbled, it wants puttu and Peas
He had to stop for a bite
There he stood in their doorway
Flicked his Lungi in style
Finally following the smell of Puttu and Kadala from the Ashram of saints, he reached the ashram.
The saints, welcomed him. Not only him, but all the "support group" the king had with him.
Since the saints had Kamadhenu with them, feeding the hungry king and the "support group" was not an issue. The king was happy and satisfied with the food and with the idea of Kamadhenu. When he thought of Kamadhenu he was like ""mmmmm waaaaaaaww"
The King was full of arrogance and food. He Burped loud. The king with his deep and profound brain thinking came to the conclusion that; because of the cows the saints are more powerful than the king himself. He wanted the Cow!!
This is the excerpts from chat log the king had with the saint.
King: I want the Kamadhenu Cow.
Saint: :O . No..We are extremely sorry, we can't give you this cow.
King: Whutever!!!! U R PWNED!!!
* *Kamadhenu is now known as King's- Dhenu
Saint has logged off
Yeah..So..this is how the conversation happened. I think I have given it with technical details.
As you have guessed, the king forcefully took the Kamadhenu away and killed the saints.
Parashuram returned after his trekking in the forest with fruits and vegetables .He saw his mom crying. Parashuram was a saint, but he was a warrior too. He was actually a warriant.
His mom told him about the king, and how he had come to the ashram for rest and in the end they all got PWNED. She also told him that they took the Kamadhenu away.
Parashuram was like :X . He felt his blood boiling like the water for the puttu on the stove. He vowed to kill every Warriors around the world. Then he was playing San Andreas -Warrior Land. Wherever he saw a warrior he killed them.
After the killing spree he felt bored, because he had no more warriors to kill. Realization dawns on one evening. He began retrospecting and introspecting..a deadly state of mind like cabbage and potatoes in the stomach.
He was filled with penance. He found no difference between him and the Warrior king whom he had killed.
He wanted to confess his sins and all his wrong doings.He went on top of Gokarna. He had an Axe in his hand.[The default setting for Parashuram in all .jpg images world wide.]
He looked at the sea from there..""mmmmm waaaaaaaww" he muttered. He pointed at the sea and said..."Me is gonna throw this axe at the sea...and....you...my dear sea..should retreat till the place where the axe had fell."
Saying that..he threw the axe into the sea...The sea retreated till, where the axe landed.
The land..Kerala was born.
A place which was full of coconut trees and crows minus the commies and the blood sucking mosquitoes.
It was like Raymonds...feels like heaven... Then people started calling Kerala -The God's own Country.
But I think...
Kerala should be titled Kerala-The Axe Effect.