Tuesday, November 17, 2009

< PWNED BY JAVA >


A few days back I was surfing the folders on my cousins computer. All it takes is to store a file with sensible file names like 123.doc or sadf.doc in some unknown location and then conviniently forget the file name to get into the 'trendy'IT fashion thingy called 'Folder Browsing'.

My drill down on his computer turned up lots of things like acres and acres of mp3's and Dlls.

Yes..Almost 20 Gb of .dll files alone.I never knew windows operating had 20 GB of .dll files in it unless viruses call themselves .dlls.
or
This could be a ingenius way to cover up PORN files, like scientists always saying that the UFO is just a weather balloon zzzingin and blinging high up in the sky .
Guess what!! my analysis is never wrong. It was PORN movie files renamed to a .dll files to hide it from ”MY” prying eyes.

Poor fellow, he don't know this incident.
..
..

It was some years back. I was a student having my stint with JAVA. Axeman A.k.A Mr. Anoop was lecturing on JAVA applets on a fine morning, to a group of 20 students of which 15 of them were females
.
I was in need of a hot cup of JAVA and was staring at the monitor, my mind far..far...away,away. No delimiter can stop me from moving out of scope on my day dreams.

"As you can see on your monitor, we have embedded a .jpg file onto the browser via a Java applet". Axeman was raping our gray cells with stuffs.
Saying this he browsed for a .jpg file and added code to embed it onto the browser.

Let me tell you this too, we were using an WINDOWS NT Operating System.[ It runs a bit faster than old steam engine+it has new 'network neighborhood' icon]. With lots of loaded software+ Java getting compiled on it, the hard disk was swapping files like the couples during the 60's.

Axeman stood up from his chair. Like him, we too know that 'this embedding and linking' will take looottttsss of time and generate enough heat to boil a cup of java.

..
..

"AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! WHOAAAA!!!!!" The browser embedded this beautiful image of a naked chick for all of us to see and then the whole window FROZE, literally embedding it on the screen.
Axeman, ran back to the system and was trying to close the browser window, which resulted in a Frozen Mouse on frozen browser. Keyboard too joined the Frozen Orgy on this naked chick.

..
..

There was some serious initial inquiry done on this 'un acceptable' behaviour of 'certain' seniors, who were using the educational resources for their private perverted use.

404!culprit not found.

but

The investigation revealed acres and acres of .jpg files with their extension changed to .dll. and stored away in system folder+some sex 'education' videos too.[ Read:Porn]
..
..

Axeman, decided to make a software that could scan the computer and find all the image files(no matter what the format is).

AXEMAN's Image Finder was born.

He upgraded that to find videos and other things which we find interesting in computers.(no matter what the format is).
The third upgrade was a punch, it had a crawler that crawls the network and reported ‘stuffs’ which we find interesting.(no matter what the format is).

..
..

He had uploaded that software on the internet, and made it available for free downloads, for those lecturer’s who wanted to avoid such embarassing situation.

If you ever find this software over the internet, you can see the 'ABOUT US' section in which these golden words will be written.[ It does bling bling too]

"Dedicated to my students, who give me creative ideas to make new softwares."
..
..

When I narrated this incident to Sanju he said “ Porn is the mother of all invention”.
Gee!! I think he is right!!
__________________________+


13 comments:

санжог said...

HE HE HE HE, this is historical.

I think this is like the best of sorcy

санжог said...

nice bloody work man, it is comming from deep down my geeky nerdy heart

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog
yeah geeko!!
spasibo for ze comment!

Saadi said...

'Porn is the mother of all inventions'

Roflmao!!!

Awesome, man!!!

Ashley said...

LOL..So there is good hidden in perverseness too! Who knew! :)

Saurabh Panshikar said...

lol interesting!

in our office too people try and hide movies and stuff in folder named "System"

So these days I only browse the System folder and people watching me think i'm some technical freak guy!
cheers!

buzzzzzzzzz... said...

ROFL......

Uncommon Sense said...

he he porn is the mother of all inventions... nice one

sorcerer said...

@sadi
thanks for the comment buddy

@ashley
yeah you are right.. we give those gray cells a real work out!!

@saurabh
is that a confession sorta thingy?

@buzz
thanks for the comment

@uncommon sense

yeah it is... i read somewhere that its cuz of porn that we have disks with huge capacity and clarity.
else
who wants MS Windows on a cool disk?

D.A said...

ROTFL!!! Nothing beats classroom humor!

Yemiledu said...

funny...
ironical the way a few things are invernted..

the quote was funny...

Sam said...

hummm! :D. thank you for your comment. I followed you. Please follow me back :)

Secretia said...

We all need our porn. Doesn't make him a bad person.

Secretia