Thursday, October 22, 2009


It was Sunday. I was bored sitting at home, reading the news paper, again and again and again. I was even reading even those obituaries; what do you say..'Extracting the awesome knowledge' in the news paper.
I debated with my conscious, who never shuts up and decided to visit my friend who lives 4 and half cart wheels away.

I was on my foot, walking to a home which was 4 and half cart wheels away.

I was given a warm reception by my friend Raneesh, who was wearing a towel,misdiagonised as GYM Buff Guy,worshipping beer and McDonald.

Too much FTV could harm you! This is a living proof.

"Hey!! GYM Boy, you aint solved your beer belly issue yet?" I responded to the warm welcome. Yes! I was trying my best to be hostile.
In response, he sucked his stomach in.

HA HA HA HA HA!! said my conscious.

"Where is Mr.Airtel?" I asked Raneesh.
"Can't you hear him?" Another question was the answer, just like Windows Help File.
He walked into his bathroom.

Like those new Nokia mobile phones which could nullify the background noise, my ears nullified the background noise and zeroed on Mr.Airtel's frequency.

It sounded like someone cutting wood with a woodsaw. Krrrrrrrrr..krrrrrrrrrrr..krrrrrrr.

Mr.Airtel was sleeping, snoring loud. Like all snorers and rapists, he denies him snoring.


I switched on the T.V and as usual there was nothing interesting like some great leader staring at the ass of cute chick captured by news crews, or some high profile sex scandals.Nobody gives a FUCk these days.World is becoming more gray.

Huh! said my conscious.


I took out my classic Nokia mobile phone and started playing, 'Nature Park' on it.

Conscious: You walked 4 and half cartwheels, in the hot sun, to play game on YOUR mobile phone?

Me: Any better idea?

Conscious: I can give you a clue.Mr.Airtel has got new games on his mobile.

Me:aaha?....... Aha!!


I went into Mr.Airtel's room.

"Hey! I am taking your mobile." I said because I have read somewhere that it is not proper to take someones mobile without permission.

"Snoooooooooooorrr...Snoooooooooorrrrr" was the reply.

"Okay! Thank you!!"


I went back, sat on the awesome couch and started playing game on my buddies mobile.


Conscious:I had high hopes on you.

Me:HEY!!!Do not disturb me while I am playing games.

Conscious:"Chance favors the prepared mind!!" Isn't that your tagline? are getting more philosophical and yeah when you are talking to me try and talk in a female voice.

Conscious:Your friend is snoring and you have his mobile phone.Can't you record it?

Me:WOW!! You are a GENIUS!!!



I was back in my friend's room, recording his snoring. After that, I made his snore as his ringtone. Kept the phone back near him.


I felt so good after doing that. Now, even the old ads were interesting to watch.
Funny! human mind is.


After an hour, Mr.Airtel, drag himself out of his sleep and his bedroom. I had to part with a part on this awesome couch for his puny butt.
We were watching a movie and his phone starts snoring.

Mr.Airtel:Ha ha ha ha..Whose making that stupid noise?


Mr.Airtel:What a horrible sound.What ?Is it some sound clip from Jurrasic Park?

Me:What do you think?

Mr.Airtel:Answer the phone.Its horrible.

Me:You answer it.It's your phone.

Mr.Airtel:Nope! My phone don't have such a ringtone.

Me:It has now.
I showed him my mobile phone, which was not ringing and was low on battery. [ I hate those chinese replacement batteries, but I love the noodles.]
Mr.Airtel runs into his bedroom to get his phone.

"So I snore and its so loud" Mr.Airtel acknowledges.
"Yeah! loud enough to be a ringtone." I replied.



Anonymous said...

Some ringtones make me want to throw the phone away, or make it into a vibrator.

coolingstar9 said...

Mr.Airtel never realize the horrible sound was actually his.
Because of you he finally aware of this.
Interesting post indeed.

buzzzzzzzzz... said...

" when you are talking to me try and talk in a female voice.".......

susie said...

awesome rate : 2 :P

good post again... :d

Adeline said...

these dayz d ringtones hv bcum a nuisance..:P

Adeline said...

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N J said...

Nice read. I'll be back to read more of them... Like it! Keep penning.

Karthik said...

"some great leader staring at the ass of cute chick".. lol.... :P
Nice one. A fun read as usual. :D

Saurabh Panshikar said...


female voice!

Usually ppl have a good concious to stop them from doing wrong things

But you have a wicked one!

Uncommon Sense said...

ya thts a gd idea, to ask your conscience to talk in a female voice.. i shud zero in on a gd female voice soon..

nice post

Sorcerer said...


Vibrator!! intersting.. we should talk more often.

@coolingstar great service to mankind

yeah..iam teachin my conscious.
but iam almost nearin the imperfection


thanks for the comment mate

yeah..tht was ze news..the ass news

thanks for the comment mate

@uncommon sense
yeah..good luck mate.iam reaching the imperfection in it

Ashley said...

What are friends for? You are a true friend! And you have an enviable conscience!! :D

Sorcder said...

Gee..thanks :)

санжог said...

a female voiced conscience...just like the F22 raptor's inbuilt keeps the pilot sane. need a girl friend...let her speak in the female voice for god sakes.

ANd the best invention ever...Snorophone...the phone starts acting like the owner, and snores while the owner snores.

Anonymous said...

You & ur conscious had to walk 4 and a half cartwheels distance away to record something amazing.Real hardworker you are.......

Sorcerer said...

@sanjog!! lets put our head together on it

Sorcerer said...


yeah 4 and half cart wheels..
in the hot sun!

mr.weirdo!! said...

u have cooked up a nice tale

susie said...

i noted that ahaa thing sorcy.... :D my lawyer will be contacting u soon..:P

Sorcerer said...



angel from heaven said...

rolf that was funny and really mean of you to record the snoring after all can the poor guy help it he has snoring probs?? But what abrain you have to pull aprank like that!!!