Sunday, February 7, 2010

.::MAKING AN IMPRESSION ::.


I think you are aware that, I took an initiative to provide you with life saving information through my blog. Yeah, the one called Sorcipedia.
This blog post has to do with "How to make a good impression." in front of a hot chick.
..
..

As a single guy, we are often lost in thoughts about, how to impress the hot neighbor chick or the girl in the next cubicle or any random unsuspecting girl on our radar.

Art of hitting as it is called in layman's terms begins with making a impressive impression. [n00bs without proper guidance i.e without reading my awesome blog ends up getting impressions all over them.]

They say that first impression is the best impression. If you screw up the first time,then you would end up one ball short.[Literally?...Yeah in extreme cases]so next time you meet the same girl, she would always fall short of your hand's length and you would spend the rest of your life at the end of your hand's length thinking about her.
Well!! as I was saying..first impression is the best impression.

You should be visually impressive.You must have heard about the mythical urban saying; "Well!!! I don't go for looks." Guys, don't fall for it. We all know how Windows Operating System and Paris Hilton captured the market.Don't we? It was the looks and it speaks english and not English in Spanish.So, you should look impressive.

To look impressive, you need 2 things to begin with.

1)Red underwear with huge bandwidth. It should have JOCKEY written on it in "BLIND USER MODE.". Floral designs are not advised.

2)Low waist jeans, that stays up on the non existant rear, defying gravity. A physics marvel on your waist.The rest of the accessories are, optional.

If you are one of those awesome person who prefers to make your jeans the second skin, make sure you have ants in your pants so that you have something else to think about when a hot chick crosses your path. This way you won't be standing pointing at the chick.

You must be wearing metals, if you want to come in the periodic table of girls chemistry.You should wear metal chains and metal rings, enough to serioulsy create a spike in the earth's magnetic field.Wearing metals is like an insurance to those who love and care for you. They can sell you as scrap metal and world remembers you as that great guy who went to the junk yard instead of the graveyard-May the soul rust in peace.

You should always talk in asthmatic English. Eminem songs can increase your vocab and make you a guy with good enthu. The way you talk should be well over audible background noise.The girls should say..yo r mah man!! when they hear you talk, just for kicks.There is no issues on using this lingo.fer yer information, this lingo is rare and is found in the wild only.

You should show your creativity on your beard. Your beard should resemble, landing strips for alien space craft, arabic lettering or crop circle.
There is nothing like "overdoing" the hair. You can use as much as strong gel to hold your hair together. You can make miniature models of mobile towers and relay stations on your head with the creative use of hair gel.

The way you walk says a lot of thing about you. Are you that kinda guy who walks, as if you are on pee 911? Then.it's time you take a more relaxed approach to your walking posture.You should walk, inclined at Tan Pi angle and imagine you are riding a bicycle with your shoulders. Yo!! Perfect yo!!

If you are in a group and your beshtest buddy said something awesome and funny at your cost.You can show your machoness by beating the him up for "FUN" and the chicks will go.."ooohhh!! he knows kungfu..bet he is good with fukung too.
..
..

This is how you can make a good impression with chick and live life with your loved one till "...pran...ghatak."
____________________

Innerwear companies are seeing a drop in their profit as more and more people are becoming aware of their right for freedom of movement.
Sorcerer with his ingenius,one of a kind awesomeness has come up with revolutionary ideas for innovative underwear designs.


1) Underwear with replaceable strap.
This particular clothing innerwear range will allow you to change the color of the strap according to your mood. It's an innovative idea to reflect you inner feelings by your innerwear.
This can also be used to identify person from behind. Most of the guys are able to identify a girl by looking at her behind. Now, as a good citizen isn't it our duty to help a chick identify us from behind. Customized innerwear straps will have your name written on it.This will help chicks identify you from behind.

Political parties can make use of this awesome facility to unify their supporters from the lower levels.(Pun intended).
Underwears with Replaceable Straps can have a caption "Unity in divarseity."

[UNDERWEAR WITH CHANGEABLE ELASTIC]
..
..


2)Underwear with Wifi Connectivity.
This range will have stock information,world news, weather information etc scrolling on its broad strap. Imagine the information advantage you provide with your innerwear. It can also be used as public broadcasting system.

I am providing a picture for those companies, who wants a blue print of this innovative idea to manufacture such wears and market it.

A script for an appropriate advertisement for such an innerwear.

Girl 1:Chee!! you shamelessly staring at that hunk?

Girl 2:Nope.I am reading news headlines on his straps.

Girl 1:Hows the weather?

Girl 2:Its hot and humid.



[WIFI UNDERWEAR]
__________________________+

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

ROTFL!!!!

My fave lines -

"You should show your creativity on your beard. Your beard should resemble, landing strips for alien space craft, arabic lettering or crop circle."

"the chicks will go.."ooohhh!! he knows kungfu..bet he is good with fukung too." "

And of course, "pran...ghatak"

Made my day!

Ridiculously brilliant!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
санжог said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA H....Saucer...I like the Idea of weather on the undies....but i guess it would be classified under..... obstruction of traffic...endangering the pedestrians and drivers....

HA HA HA HA HA... I really really laughed reading this post....bravo...

BTW: the last word is supposed to be pronounced together even if it has two syllables...Saucer you dirty mind!!

DILLIGAF said...

Excellent....if a wee bit late in the day for an old fart like me...;-)

Personally I had inordinate if somewhat mystifying success by beating girls in beer related burping contests....

Anonymous said...

@ sorcy,

interesting blogpost.

yeah, i guess chicks have their own tastes, and its very difficult to know what they want.

so, making an impression, becomes an uphill task for the men.

i wonder if ladies would like Pink laces in a men's underwear. just a wild thought you know.

cheers !

Quirky said...

ROFL... Lord you truly are a specimen..such creativity...The things you come up with !

Saadi said...

'Impressions all over them'...roflmao!! Where do u get these sentences, man?! :p

'Fukung' = More ROFLMAO

Sheer awesomeness!!!

el_idioto said...

Wi fii sounds good... hope someone actually comes up with it... soon

Mr.Poo said...

Magnificent. My underwear is just changing color to yellow and brown. It´s nice to see some new colors.

Sorcerer said...

@Mr.Poo
haha..you should change more often .ya know

@rishi
yeah..see.i see possiblities in that

@saadi
thank you for the comment..kunfgu and fukung..i discovered the name for new move

@quirky
hmm..thank you thank you thank you

@vamsi
haha..yeah.options..options

thank you for the comment

@fourdinner
hahaha..burping contest..I got a friend who could say alphabets by burping

@chocolate lover
thank you for the comment

@sanjog
you were online?Punkuzzz.thank you buddy for the comment

@dame
thank you for the comment. :)
congrats..you are the first one to comment on it..

Maria said...

lol...thank you for making me laugh so hard this monday morning..Wonderful way to start the week...rotfl
Just found your blog...and will keep visiting!

- Sugar Cube - said...

ROFL!!!

Hilarious!

sulagna said...

what if the new gen babies have in-built antennas in their system that can multi task as radars,or magnets to deal with complex metal wear on women etc etc

and oh isnt the weather always humid ??

Jon said...

good info as always... i will try to keep this in mind as I wash my undies in the sink (as per your previous post on bachelors) and color-coding... thanks!

;)

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chitra said...

You are a genius, all your innovative ideas. By the way all you following or only a preacher?

Queenmatrai said...

Innovative, very.

Should I call Jockey or will you?

D said...

thumbs up

:p

Anonymous said...

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geeta said...

hilarious once again...
I got inspired by your conversations...and wrote a post having a conversation for BAT 7...but mine is a boring piece to read...

Sorcerer said...

@geeta
okies..i will visit your blog and check it out..thank you for the comment

@D
thumbs up..taste ze zthunder

@queenmatrai
thank you for the comment

@jonparsons
thank you for the comment

@sulagna
hmm..yeah.thats what google is gonna come up with next
and....err..hmm.you have a point there

@sugarcube
thank you for the comment

@Maria
thank you for the comment

@

Sakshi said...

WeLl- Are you kidding me. You have a brilliant brain... why don't you make a working model of the underwear, and I will get you a patent for it- You will get more royalty..

Pratik Gupta said...

whooosome post!! whomazing!! just one word Woohooo!!! :D [ I guess you will be able to relate if you are a fan of woohoo girls ]

Sorcerer said...

@sakshi
is it possible to patent it?
wow!!
hmmm...i will be sooo reeeeeeeechh

@pratik Gupta
thank you thank you for the comment

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Anonymous said...

LOl...
How do u get so much time and energy to write ALL THIS???

Sorcerer said...

@yemiledu
practice..practicee

and chant...very very hard.while blogging

susie said...

awesome sorc.. simply superbly brilliant..:D

loved the idea of innovative undies :P

susie said...

awesome sorc.. simply superbly brilliant..:D

loved the idea of innovative undies :P

Sorcerer said...

@susie
yeah..thank you genius..

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