Thursday, February 18, 2010


This is another blog post from the "How To" series.
We will see how to,solve the 'gift' issue. Buying a gift for our loved one is very confusing most of the time. I personally prefer to give hand crafted awesomeness other than off the shelf gifts. [ Show off?.. *sigh]. These hand crafted awesomeness can also be called as 'personalized gifts'.

The question that lingers in our mind like the aftertaste of garlic pickle, is "what to" give as a gift. We head into the gift shop and we feel confused like a teenager watching wet Tshirt contest. Too many choices and options..too many choices and options.

To solve this deadly deadlock of gift ideas in the mind, we have to understand, what that person likes the most or would like to have the most. If the gift could speak something awesome about the relationship..its cool.

You can buy wonderful antique book from the flea market, if you happened to find your lady love in a flea market for the first time,like two Arabian desert slaves of the olden days. Book is a good gift idea.
You may wonder, if people 'haf time to read' in this click based world. Apart from buying a book just for reading, a book should have many uses.Buying a dictionary solves that issue. Dictionary can be substituted as dumb-bells. If your girl friend is 5 ft 2 inch or less, she can use dictionary to get stuffs from the top row of the shelf. It's a wonderful gift for the 'feeling unsecured ones'. Those 'feeling unsecured ones' can have a peaceful sleep if they have a loaded dictionary near their bedside.
[Personal Recommendation:JAVA BIBLE is also good substitute for dictionary. My right hand got real work out when I used to learn JAVA. Not because Java makes me oohh la la, but its very thick, and you may need both hands..I meant those about the book.]

Gifting old UNIX user manual can be considered to nocturnal friends, who find it hard to sleep.

You can scribble in your awesome handwriting heart felt words... "Have 2 chapters after dinner for a wonderful sleep." on the front page.

Are you feeling insecure about your girl friend wearing skimpy clothes?[ Cuz she works out and has no beer belly to match you?]. Gift her a bed sheet. This is a way of saying.."Baby..I like to see you in this.". If she mistook your bed sheet message and say .."Would u like to see how it look on my bed?"..errr, I call this WIN WIN situation.
You can also gift her a T shirt that says "403-Forbidden"to announce to other alpha males that she is taken.

Is your cousin turning 18? Gift him some awesome coloring book or game console. Don't forget to write "An idle hand is a devil's workshop." on top of the box.A gift with something scribbled on it is cool thing.No?

Teddy bear or Deddy bear(as I call it), is the most ridiculous gift thingy I have ever seen. Imagine a fluffy bear without nails taking over the whole male population with its stupid grin. Gwad..and some teddy comes in 'pink' color. What good does a teddy bear do rather than getting to cuddle up ..*sigh
Some even name their Deddy bears. One of the person I know, who happens to be my cousin's classmate, names her teddy bear 'TINKU.'
But we guys, always turns....things to our advantage..Right?
Next time she complaints of B.O[ Short for Body Odor, which brings down the enthu, which is short for enthusiasm.], tell her that you smell better than stupid teddy bear.[The word 'stupid' is silent like the last s in piss.]. This is the only way we can get back at the stupid teddy bear.

So I was saying always make it a point to gift something useful to your girl friend. A screwdriver is a wonderful gift idea. If she gives you 'those' look when she sees the screwdriver wrapped in pink blink blink paper; tell her that, she can do a whole range of things with it like clean nails, open tin cans etc etc.A certain friend of mine is planning to gift his lady love, a screwdriver for her birthday; it's not because she gifted him aftershave lotion on his birthday. His reason.."Gift Something Useful".

A screw driver with a message attached on pink paper :"Baby..I screwed up" would be a wonderful belated birthday gift.No?
Gifting a toothbrush to your girl friend to preserve her killer another wow idea.
If you are the official driver of your girl friend, gift her a map of the city complete with bus time table.

Is your neighbor complaining of all the noise you make during the weekend party. Gift your neighbor's little loving cute stubborn kid a whistle as a present.Wrap it in silver paper with a note attached saying "We bring war to you." . Yes the famous quote of George Bush.

For bachelor guys, beer is the universal gift idea. No gift is better than a 6 pack beer.

Personally, I prefer to give customized gifts other than the off the shelf items,to people whom I bother to care. A cricket crazy buddy may get a cricket ball made out of 100% biodegradable news paper.(See..I even care for the environment). Paper plane is another personalized gift. You can even paint it bright yellow orange and red to make it more appealing. Gift your IT guy with scrabble game made out of keys from the keyboard.

This is a personalized gift we gave to the lonely waiter in an awesome hotel. [It's not a pyramid, it is a frog..a paper frog, and when you poke jumps.]. Now he can play with the frog when he feels bored.


Remember...always gift personalized gifts.



Sid said...

Is this the reason why the frequency of your posts have gone down? Looking at the big dates arnd, i can take a guess u must hv done a good job :)

Anonymous said...

you are crazy !! & i love your blog.. :P

Four Dinners said...

I give the wifey gifts that I like 'cause, as I say to her, If I like it you're bound to.

Therefore she gets bottles of vodka to share with me. Indian food to share with me. Cigarettes to share with me etc etc

That's what marriage is all about in't it? Sharing with your hubby....;-)

Sorcerer said...

@fourdinners are right..its all about sharing and caring

thank you for the comment

frequency of the post is cuz..i am kinda tied up with a project..
haha..yeah..pretty good job actually on that front.

Nipun said...

Who is the motivation bwhinf such posts sorcy?
Sorcy giving gift ideas....




Sakshi said...

Oh, Sorcy, I am going to send the link to this post to my bf. I hope then he can get an idea as to what to gift.
You ought to do something about this brain of yours... its too valuable to be stolen by any other country...!!! :P

Uncommon Sense said...

give hard cash as gift,or a cheque that bounces, nothing better than the gandhi.. and that will be unique

supriya said...

OMG....still rolling on the floor!!! Gosh...where did you get this art of innovation! I am glad we are not personally friends and there is no way that you are ever gonna gift me anything....phewwwww...i am saved! but god bless those who are not!

PS- welcome back...!

@ease said...

innovation at its best.
i quite liked your "wi-fi enabled underwear" wala idea with colorful reversible straps in your last post. And now your so called "personalised / environment friendly gifts" is yet another innovative idea...and m seriously trying to practice that...

kudos. keep it going.

Chanz said...

I will definitely not use a dictionary to get things from a high shelf... a dictionary, for christ's sake... and definitely not herbert shield..

coloring book..??
out of all things, toothbrush..???
city map..??


But, I really hope that your girl friend gifts you a frog..
happy playing...!!

chitra said...

I am learning lot of things from your blogs. Liked the frog you designed for the waiter

Dame Folle said...

Ha ha! Nice one, Sorcy!

How about re-gifting the gifts that have been gifted to you and you don't like them?

Tara said...

haha awesome suggestions . but curious to know the response u get back whenever u happen to gift such gifts !!!

Meenakshi said...

hats off to you.. how do you still remember how to make that frog? i made that when I was in school, but have no clue whatsoever now..

nice gifting options; God help your girlfriend, the waiters who serve u, poor innocent cousins and anyone or everyone who is eligible to get a gift from you.. :)

But surely the personalized gifts are better than off the shelf - have to agree at that..

Sam said...

good gift ideas. How are you? I’m here for a weekend visit. Keep in touch and have a safe weekend!

lily rose said...

unique gift certificate ideas Gift Certificate,Restaurant Gift Certificates,Restaurants Gift Vouchers,Romantic Gifts,Gift Pack .

Anonymous said...

thats neat!my bf gave me a WWII zippo cosi'm really interested in that period...he just finds innovative stuff that I would like,makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that he makes an effort to know.Same with my friends...a safest gift for me is always a book :P And also the most dangerous...cos I just might have what they get,but yea

M@ria said...

ah! thanks so much...u managed to confuse me ever so more..i have never known what to gift men..and ur such a help na!!! damn!

And love that frog :) and make a good helmet for yourself too...just to protect yourself from the joota and chappals u shall get on gifting all these :)

rohini said...

fooget about the gifts and thing i have understood, that you are so caring,and thoughful for the other persons....waitor must be so

smitzy said...

hehehehehehe.... SCREWDRIVER???? seriously?? SCREWDRIVER??? HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE if the gf gives a *screw you* kinda look.. that would go very well with the screwdriver ;)

I love the idea of personalized gifts.. I always make it a point to send my bf something I made which he can use. Serves two purposes actually: he gets all weak in the knees and goes awwwwwww and then gets all :( that I'm so much talented than he is in gift ideas :D :D

fantastic post!!!

Ashley said...

"Aftertaste of garlic pickle"- How do you come up with these again? :p

And what do you guys have against the poor innocent teddy? I mean "Deddy". :D

AND Screwdriver? really? It amounts to telling her that her screws are loose and she need to tighten them up...Falling all over da place you know! :D

Grt post Sorci! :)

raghav said...

thats real cool, funny an useful stuff dude..:)

Anonymous said...

that was very funny :-)

Barbie Jones said...

Smitzy,what super talented writer you are.Where can I read more about the woman killing the man on 4.-18.-"09.I love your frankness about bottled up human emotions you describe so well in the story,it's hard to restraint them.I'm curious to know what lead to the woman feeling the way see did for this man.You on top of that have a witty sense of humor.

Do share what happens to your bf after he goes weak in the knees,when you give him gifts?

Anonymous said...

Hey that was a humour filled post with brilliant ideas!!
You are so very creative and your posts never cease to amaze me!!

geeta said...

again something hilarious...
BTW its 23 feb today and your last post was on 18th...such a loooong gap....Are u ok?

rohini said...

where are new post....???? making new gifts for the needy....:-)

Sorcerer said...

yesh..was me back

thank you..yes.iam back with ze post.

thank you ..for the comment

thank you for the comment

thank you for the comment buddy

thank you for the comment

yeah..this screwdriver thingy was actually presented to a girl friend by certain someone who is my friend

helmet is a nice should try something like..recylclable helmets
thank you for the comment

@the schmuck
thank you for the comment

thank you for the comment

see..thats the advantage of sittingi n back bench

yeah..mostly the responses are soo awesome.

hmm..thats a nice idea..yeah.yeah.its a nice idea

@chitra blog ..* sigh.i want it to be the whole world information thingy blog

thank you for the comment

thank you for the comment

thank you for the comment

thank you for the comment

hmm..yesh..I think its a national treasure

noone actually..but I wanted to do this post before the valentines day.but unfortunately my schedules kept me on the keyboard.
anyway..nice to know that you liked it and thanks for the comment


Megha said... and your ideas...funny :)

Saadi said...

U hav alot of spite of Teddy Bears, don't u Sorcy?! :p

Hahahaha....this post matches ur brilliance!! Awesome wit, awesome cracks, awesome puns....loved it!!!

Loved the 'I screwed up' idea!

SindhuBhairavi said...

:) awsomeness is a word that my brain associates with u! and somehow its a word seeing which i smile though its not a funny word!

Sorcerer said...

thank you for the comment

hi buddy..thanks for the comment
haha..against deddy bears.they should be called deadly bears

thanks for the comment

Blogger said...

Did you know that that you can make cash by locking premium pages of your blog or site?
Simply join Mgcash and embed their content locking tool.