.::CONVERSATIONS::.

Genius:The Citibank called on the home phone. They gotta speak with Wise Guy and said its URGENT!

Sorcerer:What happened to his cell phone?

Genius:Switched off as usual.I think I will write a stick it note and stick it some place he can see.

Sorcerer: Hmm...Stick it on the beer bottle.He never misses that.

____________________

Online_Buddy:You a mallu?

Sorcerer:Yeah very much..

Online_Buddy: How do you wear that lungi or mundu thing? Does it have some kinda hook?Ha ha ha

Sorcerer:For your information,we don't wear it on our chest, its wrapped around the waist.

____________________

Genius_Gf: huh! Will you stop talking like King Julian?Firstly, you are not a lemur...

Sorcerer: Sthop!Tell that to our Management. They are always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off.

Ya people know..how much I love to bug poipils [Read:People]

____________________

Wise_Guy: I am not a pervert! Ya know when I walk down the road, my neighbor aunt used to point at me and tell her kid-"When you grow up, you should be like that guy!"

Sorcerer:Like..Stop eating, starve and be thin like you?

____________________

For you Mechanical Engineers out there..theres a cool pickup line.Try it on some mech chick!

"Are you Nitrous Oxide, coz I just got a sudden boost!!!!"

____________________

Genius:Hey in that outfit..you look like an alien!!!

Wiseguy: I come in peace!

____________________

Genius:F[beep] Dude!Machine is not starting...its simply beeping!!!

Sorcerer:It's too polite to call you names..unlike you!

__________________________+

.::HAUNTED TREE ::.

I won the Challenge at Queen's blog. For some strange reason her Queendom calls me Merlin- The Sorcerer.

____________________

Those were school days, grinding math, late night - a medieval practice, evolved into a fancy verbal term called tuition. When some one like me, who used to score marks, less than the minimum Autorikshaw charge in math exams; has no choice but to be force fed math like they feed toddlers stupid vegetables.

In the math class, we were way down the food chain.

With my friend, we were Mutt and Jeff of problem solving in math, atleast that's what we thought of ourselves, making some meaning out of the oddest of the numbers and solve the problem in the notebook that resembled a crime scene.

So every night we walk almost 2 Kilometers to the Guru's home to soak up some numbers, while rest of the world, soaked up T.V. Walking builds leg muscles and also act as a credible reason for being late.

Guru was a good man. At times I used to wonder if he was the whole sale dealer of patience in our place. Studying under him was a real pleasure, there was no punishment, but only torture, which actually was a good thing, cuz my dad said it builds character.

If such a thing ever happened, I really wanted to know, how the character got into me through my thick skin.I could be a medical wonder.

..

..

That day began with a sick note. I always rush to get the newspaper in the morning. There used to be regular cartoon stuff those days, including the horoscope, which I used to read and have a good laugh at. I particularly love the horoscope because, everytime it predicts that "You would come out flying colors in exams.", I would royally screw up in the exam and would be flying out of the home, faster than a shoe thrown at an annoying cat.

Horoscope actually cautions me, as I take just the opposite of it for granted and used to hate the wickid humor sense of the person who used to write it.

It was a Friday and I opened the door , early in the morning to take the news paper and was shocked!

Let me tell you, a particular mallu news paper used to have this habit of delivering shocking news at your doorsteps everyday. In order to achieve the full impact, they put the sickening pictures of accidents, especially the dead ones in the front page, in full color. So anyone who sees the news paper gets his stomach upset, and the whole day would be spent with the nagging thoughts about it.

What a wonderful way to start a day.No?

..

..

Later that evening, we went to Guru's home to waste time "study". After trying to teach us some equations, he asked us to work out another similar problem, which I suspected was his way of saying "I Give up!".

I just hate him when he steals my line and use it against me.I had no choice, but to "work out" the equations.

Anyway, after wasting some quality time productively and feeling happy about It, the Guru gave up on us for that day and asked us to go home and practice the exercises, which reminded me of the cricket match scheduled for Sunday.

It was almost 10:3O PM. We started walking back home. After we locked the gate behind us, our conversation changed to more realistic things like, cricket and upcoming science exhibition etc.

Soon, one conversation lead to another and we both were talking about the accident we read in the newspaper in the morning.

Kerala, has a rich folklore tradition filled with fairies Yakshi and witches Yekshi's [Kiddo Slang]. Yakshi's in India are very creative and walk around singing old songs!They can be spotted by their BHD [Bad Hair Day]

Kerala Yakshi's are mostly found on palm trees.[It's not coconut trees] or Pala Maram, as it is the safest place to hang out in Kerala, during night time, if you are outside your home.

Unlike other ghosts and things around the world, Indian Yakshi's have uniform. They prefer to wear white Saree, unlike the Yakshi at Malampuzha Dam, who prefers to be bare to the elements of nature. Some bachelors prefer such Yakshi's to be their wife.

[ A harmless Mallu Kutti In Saree!!Totally!!]

____________________

[This is the Yakshi In Malampuzha! Very Huge.No? The sculpture I meant you decent people!]

____________________

I hope so much background information and the harmless Mallu kutti didn't take your mind of us, two harmless math learning, school goers, who are now left in the dark , on their way home.

As I was saying, Kerala has a rich tradition of ghostly folklore.Amazing they are, and if you are unfortunate enough to have had a very knowledgeable grandmother like me, its natural that such thoughts comes haunting you at night, when you think of death and such things, like a house fly annoying an open wound.

We both were walking and discussion was about the accident and death, soon our discussion leapt on to ghost tales.Incidents that are made up in mind and spiced up according to ones needs and creativity and the listeners IQ.

As we talked on and due to the nature of the topic, we started becoming very aware about our surroundings. The road was empty. The street lights flickered. Some where our ears picked up the sound of a dog howling, as soon as it ended, many other dogs picked up the howl in its eerie off key harmony!! I felt that the skin was feeling bit more sensitive now and I felt the cool chill of the wind.

The hedges and bushes seem to metamorph into characters of folktale, we had heard but forgotten. Mind was really a terrible thing and was now playing tricks. Moving branches of trees animated the characters of folktale, in its frightening shadow play.

Our steps automatically quickened, but we never stopped telling the ghost tales we made up in our mind.C'mon the one who stopped would be considered feeble.

The moon was not shining that bright, not for my eyes anyway. Even nature was having its power issues. Dark clouds formed a carpet in the sky and rolled around. It started to drizzle.We hurried on. The edges of the dark cloud was bronzed by the moonlight.

Along the side of the road, there was a big tree. It was one of the oldest tree.Standing tall spreading with canopy, it resembled a beast on that ghastly night. We doubled our steps and stood under that tree, as rain picked up and the wind swept by, totally reclaiming the silence of the night into a total chaos.

There was not many good stories associated with that tree, which we had heard. This tree was standing in an old military compound, which belonged to the British when they ruled these parts. It's been said that this tree was were they used to hang people.

Trust me, History was such a boring topic for me, and I never really cared to check the truth about the facts.

..

..

To get the mind off the topic, finally we decided to talk about upcoming cricket match.

"Today is Friday"..only 2 more days!! He said

Gulp!! he said the word FRIDAY!!

Its on Friday's that Mallu Yakshi's party all night.

Gulp!!

My friend, looked up at the tree and was standing like a statue...as if he has seen something scary.

I followed..

Next thing!!

We shot out into the rain and ran home, as soon as our legs could carry! We were steaming on the inside, but never stopped running.

"Did you see that?" he asked me.

"Yeah!!"

..

..

Next day morning, I got out of my home, to the social setting called the school. Tagged along with my friend.

Unlike other days, we walked in silence. Nobody would believe us. Only we know that we had the closest encounter with the ghost.

..

..

We reached near the tree and was laughing hard...really hard, pointing at the torn Old Election Banner belonging to a political party, which was made out of white cloth.

So this was the ghost!

People looked and gave us strange looks.

..

..

"Hey! I thought someone had committed suicide." He said

"Lucky! you didn't have a grand mother like mine." I shot back

____________________

Read here: My encounter with a real ghost

__________________________+

.::SKETCH: TWO THRONES ::.

____________________

For a change, I thought I will post a pencil sketch, I made of the The Prince, from the game, "Prince Of Persia- The Two Thrones".

____________________

And in other news

The Queen, who promoted me to the ranks of Dungeon Guard from [which ofcourse is near the wine cellar] made an offer, which a demoted can't refooosssee;[Apart from the threats I received]

The rule is

"All you have to do is upload an image that you think best describes the Queen :D

The more flattering the better"

So...This is how I will describe the queen

Queen with her prized possessions! 2 bald guyz with horns and lots of candles!

[Reminds me of an H.R I knew!!! Wait!! She had long nails and...Saber Toothed tongue..yeah!!!]

__________________________+

.::CONVERSATIONS::.

"Veni!!!! Veni!!! Veni!!!! " Julius Caesar while having sex with Cleopatra!

If he had said those words, which I hope he must have, it must be written in bold lettering in the diary of Cleopatra.

____________________

Wiseguy: Dude!! Finally scientists were able to create life, with just 4 chemicals.

Sorcerer:History has forgotten those many unfortunate bachelors who created life with 4 bottle of beer. They don't get media coverage, they just get "those looks". Ironical . No?

____________________

Sorcerer: Susie!!I had a weird dream today!some mutant thing...

Susie:I am being very polite these days!!Don't you have anyone else to annoy , like poisonous reptiles or something?

____________________

Wiseguy brought new mobile with mobile camera having awesome clarity. Thats where the trouble began. He would ask an unsuspecting person to say "Cheese" , take pic and then blabber about how good the clarity of his mobile cam is, pointing out that even the "Hey!!! even the pimples are visible".WOW!!

Wiseguy: Say Cheese!!

Genius: Sure thing mate!! You smell like one anyway!.

____________________

Sorcerer: yeah.see great mind thinks in parallel gutters.

Sent at 2:31 PM on Sunday

Saurabh: coz in parallel gutters flows parallel intellectual shit!

Sorcerer: yeah..absolutely and literally!

____________________

Genius:For some strange reason...I kinda like Paris Hilton.I mean...

Sorcerer:Are you in danger of becoming a lesbian?

____________________

Genius:My girl friend needs a dual boot.[As in Windows and Ubuntu, that's what he meant]

Wise guy:Me.. me... me.... I am in.

___________________

Sorcerer:Hey !! I called Juggie "Hey ! Wide one" instead of the "Wise one."

Susie:Did he appreciate it?

Sorcerer:We haven't met yet at arms length of each other.

____________________

Wise guy: I don't have a good feeling about that idea.

Genius:I don't have any feeling at all.

Sorcerer:Don't steal your girl friend's line, Genius!

__________________________+

.:: FOR DUMMIES -6 ::.

Been long time I updated the 'For Dummies' . The last series was posted on March. Anyway here comes another "Sorcy's Fables- Simplified for dummies" - 6.

____________________

BOBBY'S Residence:

It was a beautiful Thursday evening. Bobby was alone at home, watching sports on television.

Bobby was shocked to see his wife, Nikki rushing towards him flashing her teeth in a big smile like the Rajadhani Express entering the station. In sheer survival response Bobby, clutched the T.V remote tightly with both his hands.

"I am not falling for that trick again!" he murmured.

She dropped on the couch near him, letting the gravity do the work and moved closer to him.

A lot of thoughts tumbled in his mind like the clothes inside a washing machine.

"What have I done" he thought to himself.

"What have you done that she had come to know" his conscious corrected him, rephrasing it for him just like Google "Did you mean:".

He sighed and said a small prayer thinking about the things to come.

"Honey!!" she purred softly.

This could be the beginning of an emotional interrogation, he thought.

"Nikki......!!!!" He called her name, stressing almost every character in it. He did that to wake her up, in case she was under the influence of the migraine tablet she was taking and that this was one of the side effect of the tablet.

How he wished, if the same side effect happened for the tablet which she used to take for headaches.

Nikki, huddled closer to him, putting her arms around his neck.

"Honey!! she purred again, near his ears."Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah! Go ahead.." He felt like a convict being interrogated by tickling his feet with a feather."

"Do you remember Prashanth?" She asked.

"Yeaa.....aaa...aaaahh!!!!! He replied with the exact effect of dragging a beer glass on the pub table.

Prashanth was his classmate, room mate during his bachelor days and now the friendship has grown into a few occasional scraps, attaining the status or Orkut friend.

"I saw him today at the shopping mall and I invited him over to our place this weekend for a lunch." Said Nikki

"Okay! Thats ..thats great.! Nice of you to do that."

But somewhere, he had that feeling that something was not really right, just like the feeling you get when you eat so much potato or beans.

"And...." She continued "On the way home, I met Lolita.Ya know she is back in town!"

"Wow!..I mean...nice..I mean..okay" he stuttered to a stop.

Now that he is married to Nikki, he is not supposed to see any woman 'That Way', else its Highway for him.

Lolita according to Bobby is the femme fatale of any romantic novel. Being a mechanical engineer himself, he compared Lolita with a Mercedes Benz, all curves and having a mind of its own.

"And....I invited her over to our place too for the lunch, this weekend." she said that with a big wickid grin.

No smileys would be able to portray the emotion that showed on his face.

"Ya know..she is still single and I wanted her to meet Prashanth.What a lovely couple they would make! Right.Sweety?" She asked

"Yeah like World Bank and Zambia." he thought, but he simply responded with a low voltage smile.

"I have got Prashanth's phone number, just give him a call on Friday and make him come home." She said that in a short pitched voice and just like Indian cricketers he fumbled and fell for it in the deep.

"Oh God!! Look at the rack! " she bellowed

"What happened, baby!?" He sat upright."They look perfectly normal to me." He said

"Huh! Not me!!The Shoe rack! See how messy it is.Such mess gives me headaches."

He sighed.She somehow never seem to appreciate the 'Elves Cap Theme' arrangement by which he had arranged his socks in the shoe rack and on top of it, he gave another reason for her to celebrate a headache.

He was losing it.

"TOTALLY!!!" in Lolita's words.

..

..

The Pub [ 7 Months Back]

"Hey Bobby! Did ya see that chick over there?" called out Prashanth over the sound of music.

"Yeah!! What kinda chick is that? A peacock? What do you say Prashanth?"

"Today! I am gonna try a lovely pickup line on that chick" said Prashanth pointing at the chick with the colorful hair, bouncing up and down like an Energizer Bunny.

"So what you gonna try:Can I ruffle your feathers in the bed? or does your dad works at the local zoo? Is that what you gonna try?" shot back Bobby taking a sip out of the beer mug.

Prashanth Ignored him and walked towards the bling bling girl.

..

..

That's how he met Lolita, for the first time.

"Raise your hands like this..and jump up and down..its more fun that way.." Said Lolita to Prashanth giving him tips on dancing.

"Err..I have two BIG left feet,Can I hold you as I jump up and down?" asked Prashanth in all his innocense.

"Errr..Oh yeah..You can! she said that flashing her teet teeth."

"Hmmm..The Key word Big seem to work all the time."He thought.

After few hours of relaxing by jumping up and down throwing the hands in the air and shaking the ass like some animals wiping their arse on the grass, they decided to move towards the bartender to get more intoxicated.

Bobby saw Prashanth coming towards him with Binky-The clown Lolita.

The first thing Bobby noticed on her was the makeup routine resembling the decorations on the pastry he finds at that Mallu Bakery. The smile on her face ended with a semicolon,[read dimple] somehow reminded him of the C program code. The blue contact lens she wore matched her jeans, bags and footwear.Her teeth were well aligned except for one canine teeth on the left, that looked a bit uppish like a broken Piano Key.Her eyebrows were sculptured in an arc like the backbone of a scared cat.Her nose resembled a teenager's skate board, a bit of upturn on the end......Her hair was all colorful......

"Hey Bobby, Meet Lolita." Said Prashanth introducing her to Bobby.

"Hey Bobby!! I know you! I mean..I know your wife Nikki!" Said Lolita ..

Bobby took eyes off her "ya know what" to look at her face again, trying to figure out who exactly he was looking at.

"I mean..Nikki and me are class mates...blah blah blah...but I couldnt attend your marriage function as I was in U.S of A..blah blah blah..blah blah..blah..blah blah..

Time passed and she was still talking.

"Thank God! we are inside the pub and its night", thought Bobby else her tongue would have gotten sunburnt.

..

..

Bobby and Prashanth, got out of the pub, but Lolita's voice still pounded inside their ears,echoing along the auditory canal.

..

..

Bobby On The Quest:

Bobby woke up early on that Friday morning. He had a mission to accomplish. After putting on his track suit, stood in front of the mirror. The planet Saturn was exerting its effect on his body, he was kinda becoming like Saturn with rings of fat around his waist.

He sucked in his stomach.

"Now that's better" he said to himself

"What you doing early in the morning?" Asked Nikki.

"Thought I would run a mile.Kick start my old Jogging habits. Start a healthy life style." Replied Bobby pretending to warm up, running on the spot.

"If you had told me this yesterday, I too could have come with you"

"err..Okay!" He replied and moved out before she could decide on it.

..

..

It was hard for him to jog in the morning, breathing shallow and tucking his tummy whenever he saw a girl come opposite to him.

"GOD!! Why do you put me in such situations" He murmured under his breathe.

He knew where Prashanth lived. He had been to Prashanth's home a few times.Still the multi colored buildings confused him.

He was sweating profusely. Never in his life he had done such hard exercise.Even nightmare seemed like good movies compared to the thought about exercise.

He reached the blue colored apartment in which Prashanth lived. Climbed the stairs, counting stairs stars. Rang the door bell and leaned on the door.

..

..

A few minutes later, Prashanth opened the door.

Bobby was sitting on the stairs. In his red t-shirt he resembled a harmless LPG cylinder kept on the stairs.

"Hey!!! Is that you?" Asked Prashanth.

"Dude!!! Water!! Water..." thats the only words that came out of Bobbies mouth.

..

..

"Tell me what happened? Did the loan sharks chase you while you were out buying milk or something?" asked Prashanth.

"Nope!! I came to warn you!" replied Bobby, trying to catch his breathe.

"Warn me?"

"Yeah! Ya know that lunch thingy you have at my home.It's a trap.Lolita..your..ex fling will be there!"

"WHAT LOLITA!!!She is back in town?" asked Prashanth grabbing the bottle of water back from him.

"Yeah!! and Nikki thinks, you both would make a lovely couple." He smiled after delivering the message. Bobby felt a sigh of relief like you take a leak after holding it for hours.

"Tell me.You were always the one to guide me.Tell me...What I should do?" Asked Prashanth like a teenager to Google.

"You my friend...is joining the priesthood. Yesterday night you had an enlightenment and you are embracing the sainthood till the cloud clears."

..

..

BOBBY'S Residence: [Saturday Night]

"HUH! I know..he is simply escaping." said Nikki."Wait till I see him again."

"Poor guy!! he is becoming more spiritual these days? Nikki many are into it now that 2012 is kinda near.Can't a guy become spiritually cleansed?"

She duct taped him with one of "those looks" in kathivesham. She went into the bathroom.

[One of the Kathivesham Character in Kathakali]

***"Hell hath no fury like a woman in Kathivesham" -A Pavam Bachelor Mallu.

A shot rang inside the bathroom like a shot gun, the voice reverborated aloud in the silence of the night.

Gulp!!

"The toilet seat!! " He thought

Bobby pulled the blanket over his head and started counting sheeps..fast..very fast..

____________________

The moral of the story is "When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her 'Non compatible' friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood."

__________________________+

.::CONVERSATIONS::.

Rash:I don't really know why! I don't have a boy friend.

Sorcerer: Hmm..Ya know..for a man..there are certain risks his insurance can't cover.So..

____________________

Genius snatches the Novel I was reading

Sorcerer:It is really really rude to snatch a book while some one is reading it.

Genius:*raises his hands.. Talk to the hand.

Sorcerer:No! I don't want to talk to your girl friend.

Genius:Very funny Sock!

Sorcerer:See..It's a novel and it doesn't have pics in it.So Give it back.

Genius: Say the magic word..and I may give it back.

Sorcerer:Give it back "STUPID"

*It worked!

____________________

Genius:She was kinda trying to hide it..But I could read it from her face...

Wickid_Guy: That...the wrinkle cream ain't working?

____________________

Far: Very disappointed..actually!! dad got an e bike for me.

Sorcerer: wow! you are 100% environmental friendly.

The polar bears owe a lot to you.

____________________

Phone Conversation

Genius:Can you come and pick us up?..We are drenched.

Wiseguy: Drunk? Without me?Wait I am coming..Whose place?

Genius:I said..We are drenched in the rain outside..We are standing 3 blocks away..

Wiseguy: So theres no drink!!!..Should I come? I was planning to get some afternoon sleep...It's raining heavy outside.

____________________

ANSIC: Dude..I can see the drives on my computer, but I can't open it.

Sorcerer:Its Same with your G.F aint it?

__________________________+

.::BEING ROMANTIC::.

Warning:This is another of the HOW TO series programs.i.e "Sorcy's HOW TO" Series

Many of my awesome blog readers, has warned advised me that all the advises (Read:Awesome knowledge) that I give through this blog should be accompanied by a warning like the warning tag on toxic Chinese toys.

This series we will see learn how to be "Extremely Romantic."

In the previous HOW TO Series we have had different Gyan on How to corner court a girl etc etc.

____________________

So you think, you are romantic.Ain't ya?

Before you nod your head like the Hula Doll on the dashboard of your car..Try this simple "Are you romantic Exercise"

You probably remember doing this as a kid. Lie on your back and lift your legs up into air. Place your hands on your lower back for support, resting your elbows and lower arms on the ground. Make sure your weight is on your shoulders and mid to upper back -- not your neck. Breathe deeeeeeeeeeeeeeply and hold for at the posture for at least 5-10 seconds..

Can you smell it? [That stinky smell ,might be your feet or you must have over excited your intestines in the process, which naturally will result in the release of a natural colorless gas, which is not much appreciated by your nose/any nose.]

Nooo...No?

That is because there is no Romance in the air around you.

..

..

Since time immemorial, romance has been linked with throwing your Armani,Poplin Sport Shirt over a puddle to keep your wife/girl friend from ruining their pink shoes in the water. But is it all to get the title of "Romantic Fellow Eh?"

If you want to be romantic, you should have a role model. I think each of you must be having a role model in your mind varying from Greek God Of Romance Jennifer Lopez to Titanic Hero, simbly called Jack. [ Who names their Kid Jack these days!! huh!]

If you don't have a role model and is totally n00b to the whole process of romance. I present to you...

"Permit me to introduce myself. I am Pepe Le Pew, your lover."-Pepe Le Pew

The Posture:

Being a romantic person is difficult as attaining the alcoholic status.but lucky you, here you are drinking ze potion of ze love.No?

Dress up in romantic colors like pink, electric pink, pinkish pink, etc.Open a few buttons to bare your ribbed tropical dry chest. Yes, This symbolizes that your heart is open source like Gnome and is like Floppy Disk without write protection.

Try to speak in French! A Few words would do like "Bone?-Sure" or something.

Have a rose in your hand.[Provided her name is Rose too] . Rose-The flower, symbolizes your disease thing to the world. You have an easy chance that way!

Wear revealing clothes like Speedos, yeah she would go weak in the knees and kick it loose.

The Talents:

This is the hardest part. You should be multi talented like TINTIN in his adventures. You should be able to speak in different dialects. Have an opinion about almost everything though the opinion about you by the world is not always ..Naaaaish [As my knowledgeable friend would pronounce]

You should be able to spell the names of French Romantic Literature classics. Why French?

French are always Romantic No? Look at zat Romantic Look in ze eyes of ze Mr.Sarkozy.

He must be thinking "Come to me, ze melon baby collie"

The First Move

"Romance is like Chess, You always try to find a mating position." Sorcerer on Romance

Always hold her,I meant her hands or things which she finds difficult to carry. This will make her feel "aaaaahh..My hero." No wonder firemen are always called as Heroes.

Hugs work like medicine for those unfortunate teenagers that watch you hug your girl.Hug her tight and make her breathless.Try not to make her motionless.

Don't be an MCP [SCSA Is more valued in the industry]. Open all doors of for her, as she is blinded by your love.You don't want her running into anything but you.No?

Give her flowers, if she is allergic to pollens, if you could steal it off the neighbors garden..You are amazing and a role model for the rest of the romantics else, don't feel much proud about it.

Do cute things like picking nose, biting nails etc when you are with her.Awww.... you courageous one.!!

The Second Move:

Even from the olden days, people write songs about their loved ones. This thing hasn't changed much like the theories of communists and the socialists. Write songs about her and sing it aloud to her.

Its a must that it should rhyme thats the important thing.

Example 1:

You are warmer

Than the toast in the tray

You are cooler

Than Mysore Bangalore highway.

You are sweater

Than sweets on ebay.

You are refreshing

Than room freshener spray.

You are perfect

Than my daily pay.

Yeah! Please do feel free to plagiarize and remix it at your convenience, but just make sure that the creativity juice still holds up in it like the Tetra packing.

Once you are satisfied with the song you composed, take your guitar, wait till its past midnight, go stand in front of her home and sing it out loud. Wear camouflage make up and be dressed in black to avoid getting shot by her dad having a High B.P. [Just to be on the safe side. There were always people with mindset of Genghis Khan]

General Things:

There are some common things that you have to follow to be extremely romantic.

1)Always listen to her. If you are watching T.V and she starts telling you about the awesome thing she did, grab your chair and move it closer to the Television and increase the volume. To make sure that you are listening to her, ask simple questions like "Is it over?" or "Are you done with making all those noise?"

Ps: Rolling up the pants make a good pillow.

2)Do the unexpected. If she is complaining about you always watching Sports on ESPN, surprise her by watching FTv.

3) Make breakfast for her. For that you have to wake up early and for that we have late night movies which keeps us awake till morning.

Make her breakfast, like Kellogs Corn Flakes +milk. If you are a cleanliness freak like me, you should be able to make the kitchen resemble a swimming pool when you are done with anything inside that kitchen.

Stick a Stick-it note on her forehead, while she is asleep. "Break Fast on the table. I am off jogging.Ps:Wear Scuba gear before entering the kitchen."

4)Plan weekends with your friends to play golf. Phone your pink pigeon and tell her how many holes you played.

5)Make sacrifices for her. Buy chicken on Sundays.

6)Let her sit on your lap, though lap top weighs less.If you manage to make her sit sideways facing east, you can keep laptop on her lap. Its called the Middle east position in the books of "love making thingies". I haven't tried it though.

7) Call her every five minutes, not because she is extremely cute and the neighbor guy is walking around like walking on a topless beach. This is just to check make sure she you love her.

8)Put the toilet seat down. This is the first sign she will notice about how romantic you are.

These are some fine examples for being romantic.

How To Identify A Romantic Person:

A romantic person can be identified, by the location. Romantic person would always occupy the corner seat.They attain the behavioral psychology of a cockroach and stay away from bright light. They prefer the dim-lit corners and places.They turn nocturnal, as telecom and DSL companies will let them have "Happy Hours" only at night.

When a romantic person is talking over the phone, they loose the touch with real life, literally in some cases.

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Eenie, meenie, miney mo, catch a lover by ze toe, if she 'oller, 'old her closer; eenie, meenie, miney mosa.-Pepe Le Pew

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