Thursday, September 23, 2010

.::FOR DUMMIES-7::.


Been long time I updated the 'For Dummies' . The last series was posted way back on when I don't remember. Anyway here comes another "Sorcy's Fables- Simplified for dummies" - 7-The series of 'revealing' truths about life.

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For the past few days he was busy coding a software.The challenge was to make the Software 'Blonde Compatible'; that means a software which is simple to use with pink interface.Being in the profession for long, this project was demanding way too much from him.
He fed the source-code into the computer for compiling and sat back in his chair,lost in thoughts, scratched his stubbled chin, giving his balls a vacation for some time.

The whole world around him was silent,except for the melodious voice of a female singing an old romantic song, filled the air which was already half filled with smell of left over pizza, beer and body odour.

Minutes passed by and his program has managed to crash his computer announcing that, the software he is working on is now WINDOWS COMPATIBLE.
He gave a wide grin and reached down at the button to restart his computer.
..
..
He stopped.Something was bothering him at the back of his mind, like a horny guy behind the cute chick in a public transport.
Being so occupied with the work, he had almost forgotten about her.The very thought of her made him stand erect....from his chair of course.
"How could he ignore her for so long", a guilt took him over like teenager getting drunk for the first time.

He made his way towards her  virtually humping the air with the rhythm of the music.She was waiting for him.Many had come into his life and had left; but somewhere inside he had this feeling that she is gonna stay.
He gave her a big grin.She knew how that smile's gonna end!!

He was hungry,hungry for what she had in store for him..all he could think of was her and all those moments when he had tasted her awesomness.He never had enough of her,not even the last night when he over did her to a point of break down.He loved her and he couldn't stop himself yet again this morning,like he couldn't ever since she came into his life two months back.She was to him, what a 16 year old boys first porn magazine is to him.

He went up to her slowly,that's probably the only thing that he does to her, 'slowly'!!...and held her gently.
He just knew perfectly how to turn her on.He felt her smooth body ...too late she could never say no to him..She was turned on by his touch.
..
..


He made his way between her curves,and slowly reached the place he was looking for he could feel her anticipation..she was kinda warm,and she was yearning for him,he saw that she was ready.He slowly pushed it in.
..
..

He felt a shock pass through him.
She was franctically maoning....then he could smell something not very pleasant and to his shock realised she was on fire...
She was not in her senses and he didn't realise it....but then he noticed it..he saw the spark of fire literally...or the word literally was used in the wrong context.

He touched her and.... burned his fingers..
He couldn't decide...Vaseline or saliva or fire extinguisher.
But..It was too late..Thick smoke came out of her.. he coughed...and his eyes burned because of the smoke. He ran out!!
..
..


The next days news paper headlines read "House burned down by toaster".

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The moral of the story is Never screw a toaster or a woman too much, as both can bring down the house.


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    "UNIX is an operating system, OS/2 is half an operating system, Windows is a shell, and DOS is a boot partition virus."
    __________________________+

    20 comments:

    Aparna said...

    why do you have to misguide me ? bravo for describing a toaster so sexily

    Sorcerer said...

    @Aparna
    Yeah.just to show how important a toaster is in a bachelors life..IT companies should add toaster to their list of 'Frills'

    Sam said...

    Well I thought it would be something else and not toaster, lol !!!

    Sorcerer said...

    @Sam
    Something ELSE?
    How can you even think baout a life without a TOASTER!!!

    *sigh!!

    P. Venugopal said...

    ho ho ho, Sorcy!!! long time since i had read anything so erotic. must go back to your other dummies...

    Sorcerer said...

    @P.Venugopal
    Thank you thank you..
    yes..its social service i do.
    do check the other social services

    Girish said...

    When I saw 'Dummies' in the title, I knew there would be a twist in the rale..! lol
    Very erotic post, if u forget about the toaster..!!
    Must read the other posts :)

    Sorcerer said...

    @Girish
    Yeah..Toaster is erotic only!
    thanks for the comment

    Loco Poco said...

    Hahaha...Won't you spare even the Toaster..?:P

    Sorcerer said...

    @locopoco
    nope..next is washing machine.

    Loco Poco said...

    Washing machine..?!
    Will look forward to that one..!

    Sammok said...

    hahahaaha.
    toaster.

    Sorcerer said...

    @Sam
    yeah..toaster..thanks you know it...right.

    @locopoco
    yeah..and...CD Player too

    Rajlakshmi said...

    hehehe what descriptions!!!! and that too a toaster!!! :D ROFL

    Sorcerer said...

    @Rajlakshmi
    aye..a Toaster... aye!

    Sakshi said...

    Oh God! Sorcy you have surpassed yourself this time.
    Awesome!

    S0rcerer said...

    @sakshi
    Yeah..the surpass curve..at large!!!

    Pallavi said...

    Ungrateful and unpredictable toaster I must say. Why take him in the night before and dump him like this the morning after!

    P. Venugopal said...

    ha ha ha, Pallavi!!!

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