Thursday, September 2, 2010


There is a bit of story behind why, I wrote this article.
Let me rephrase it..
There is a bit of story behind why, I was forced to write this article.
One help less resource consuming XX chromosome needed to get the ,'Statement Of Purpose', for enrolling to a Certain University. The poor thing wanted to enroll for doing the masters soo badly and save the world from an communication outage.

When given a chance to do something good! Well! I never think twice.My policy is Jump Straight in and paddle hard!.

Ps:The "I" in this article is not really me, but the helpless XX chromosome. I am writing this article from HER perspective.
At one band camp.. I was struck by lightning from a space ship.It opened my eyes and I learned  the fact that I could communicate with humans. They are the only animals who could communicate in different forms and by using different mediums.
Old days humans wrote on toilet walls to communicate their 'hard' feelings to their loved ones and how much they missed their loved one when in loo.They also use signs to communicate like.."wide opened eyes" on a male watching a female means that he is very interested. Ever Since I was a child, I was interested in communication, though my love letter to my 3rd grade teacher was denied its due importance.

I found telephones very enchanting and entertaining.Telecom thing has made it possible to talk to my lover without knowledge of my father who  sits with a sawed off gun facing the balcony.
My phone has games and all but I don't play games, on it,but I check face book for my lover's naughty messages on my wall.Its also a great way to type lik ds &cnfs de rdr.It tks a whl 2 undrstnd wht u r rdng.

My Bubba Aunt lives in Mexico in a telephone booth.She is several thousand of miles away from me.I give her missed call.At times she calls us and ask us to contact the Indian Embassy for rescuing her!
But I always forger to call the Indian Embassy! Telecommunication has made it possible for us to get pestered by 'Aunts' living far away.Thanks to the airline company who delivered her luggage in gelf and her in Mexico.She reminds me of the saying "What goes in Mexico Stays in Mexico"

Telecommunication is a magical thing like Maggi noodles.Technically a phone wire is through which all the talk things flow to your ears. Phone cord is a wonderful medium to strangle yourself with.Many murders committed  in the black and white era of telephones was blamed on telephone cords.The difference between today's phone and yesteryear phone is the 'Freedom of Movement'. Old phones didn't have silent mode unless you don't pay your bill.

In Old old days, they used pigeons for communication.It was not very effective in sending message to fire-station or for an ambulance. Also pigeons get lot distracted during the mating season.According to my humble theory they are not very effective in sending messages but quiet good when it comes to pooping on parked cars.

Before the advancement in technology communication was in its diaper stage and  was crawling on all fours like a drunk mallu during Onam season .Also very confusing.People even answered when some one farted.Now the ring-tones has changed it big time and the resulting confusion.Now people know when and how to answer the real calls.

But at times I believe that 2 tin cans are way much better than certain telecom companies operating in India

In my another humble theory, I  believe that Telecom thing was invented in India, in a small coconut rich place called Kerala! Some mallu staring at coconut for too long found out that its possible to communicate with two coconut shells connected by a string.He must have diversified his business into more lucrative lingerie market by converting the same idea into coconut shell bra .In my opinion this could be the first 2 in 1 invention ever . This could also be one classic example of 'diversifying' business and having a 'support'  system in place if a certain primary business model fails.
Many companies have followed this strategy.Today following this footsteps, certain vehicle manufacturers has also diversified their business into selling Life Insurance.It's a win win situation.
Technically, its called SBU [Strategic Business Units]

During my growing up years in Dubai I was truly amazed by the level of camel technology used in everyday life there. The difference in the quality of life in my home country India and Dubai was beyond any comparison. India we use bulls they had humps  like camels.Certain camels have 2 humps on some models just like bucket seat in certain cars!

But what grabbed my attention first was the humps on the camels then the advancement in Communication Technology which they had used as an ideal solution for companies in al oil and al gas(LOL),al pigeon al courier, al restaurants al delivery, al taxis, al factories, al real estate sites, al government departments, al airports, al freezones and al tourism agencies etc.

When I was a kid, I used to run around the T.V just to figure out how people got into it.Only thing I could ever manage to climb into was washing machine.It's fun until the water starts splashing in.Thats when I scream and run out!

I began reading books and magazines and everything I could lay my hands on to know more about it all,like technology..duh!! After so much reading still I was not able to find out how people got inside the television.

I resolved that day that I’d one day master the technology and contribute to its further advancement but most importantly see to it that it is implemented in my country and help in
improving the way of the life there too.

When I returned to India I found that an amazing transformation had taken place, Pinki who used to be classmate,a cry baby who used to wear choli is now wearing jeans and T-Shirt. Ramu kakka has switched from Tea stall to Mobile phone Shop.Even fish man has a mobile phone.That too color phone with a camera.Just by his deep set, washed out yes I knew that he must be watching too much MMS on it.

Yet somehow it lacked in several aspects, it was no where like what I had seen in Dubai.These people in India dont use AL before every word! also In India  they still travel on a tripod driven by petrol engine!

I chose and studied a course that would aid my mission of developing the quality of life and bring MMS videos not just to the rich people (like you now), but also to people from the rural areas and the economically disadvantaged who doesn't even have access to FTV at night.errr..midnight actually which is aired at 10:00 PM Indian time.[dooFTvus]

Because of lack of entertainment,these people from far far villages do chee chee things at night and populate..thus bringing about shortage of parking space in our country

But the knowledge I gained from my Bachelors course is just no sufficient for me to screw up my mission and bring down the national grid therein arises the need for my being better equipped with "hands on" experience(Ps:I am still a Virgin) that I did not obtain here during the period of my course which I spent sleeping most of the time.

As a member of the social service unit of my college I visited several villages neighboring my city, and I was shocked by their level of ignorance and superstitions.They didn't even know the meaning of LOL ,ROFL and WTF!
They were superstitious and asked me to crock like a frog when a hen crossed my path.

I began pondering over why so many parts of the country were still so backward and ministers from those places filthy and rich. I was laughing out so loud that I was given an electric shock just to come out of it.
Many in here still did not have even the basic amenities essential for their well being like cheer leaders for local foot ball matches and festivals like Samba Fest and Mardigras and Cricket Stadiums for IPL.
The rest of the world was developing at a phenomenal pace and making unbelievable inventions like Sauna Belt and Ab King pro and  we were still lagging so far behind Jennifer Lopez.

Ps:She has nice arse!! Duh!!
Many thanks to Dumbbell  for giving me this opportunity to write an S.O.P. I like to say that I have not added many content to it..I just edited it here and there. I have taken immense care to see that the idea behind the content remains the same.
Sorcerer : you make me infiltrate the thinking barrier.
Dumbbell:I always knew I could count on you!!

DD, thanks for your valuable inputs on how to write an S.O.P, and always trying to encourage me to run into the same wall and not feel bad about it.
Sorcerer:What do you say?
DD:Sorcy!! Not all UNIV's appreciate real talent!
Snehal of providing much needed technical inputs and telling me that SBU is actually Strategic Business Unit not Stupid Business Undertaking.


Anonymous said...

Lol! That was funny!
But Iam sure the univs din't realize the real talent exhibited in the SOP. :P

pallavi said...

That was interesting. As always!

Sorcerer said...

Atleast I hope the S.O.P recieve its merit for originality

thank you for the comment

Uncommon Sense said...

lol nice, esp the coconut shell inventions quiet original

buzzzzzzzzz... said...

v go ..
:) :) :)

S0rcerer said...

yeah..coconut shell inventions always made me think..soo..deep!!

yeah!! Ths SORCY anthem!!

susie said...

soc u be MAD! :P

Sorcerer said...


P. Venugopal said...

you infiltrate the thinking barrier, you really do!!!!

Anonymous said...

Recently in Poland to hear a lot of celebration commemorating the creation of Solidarity. There are many discussions on this subject and some of them are very controversial. I wonder whether in other countries, people know what it is and if they have solidarity on this issue a sentence?


Sorcerer said...

Thank you for the comment :)
Yeah...its like the barrier reefs I saw on Discovery Channel

supriya said...

hilarious post..!! i am glad to find you as funny as you always were ..!! bravo..

Sorcerer said...

Thank you Supriya!!

Dame Folle said...

By the way, what is the thing you have appreciated about Jennifer Lopez here? Her singing skills?