Tuesday, September 14, 2010


"So, this would be a competition between boys and girls. Which ever team puts out the best act will get a surprise gift. Then for the final act for the big day, we will choose the actors from both the group accordingly." said our faculty for English language.
"Any questions?" He paused.

Everyone in the class gave each others a questioning look.

"We would go for a coin toss to see , which team gets to present their Drama first, on Friday." he said, taking a coin from his pocket.

"Heads for the girls and tails for the guys" [ I know..technically it would sound proper if the 'head' was given to the boys]

He flipped the coin. The coin flipped in the air as a flipped coin should.It landed face down exposing the tail, sealing our(Boys Teams)fate on its arse.

"Well! The boys will present their drama on Friday and girls team's will follow the next day".

The class came to a grinding halt, with we boys grinding our teeth at the coin.

5 days was lying ahead of us to prepare for the drama, make it perfect and win the surprise gift.Many hours which should be spent running aimlessly behind a foot ball was spend on perfecting the dialogue delivery.

The boys team lead,Mr.Blessed [This guy is blessed by God in multitude of skills, that include seeing in the dark] was having a tough time shaping up the actors to bring out the 'characters' alive in them. Most of the time the dialogue delivery resembled a bad case of enema,which could only be stopped by a rubber cork.

The 'Surprise Gift' was the 'thing' that was at the back of everybody mind, which gave them the patience to put up with the near 'suicidal tendencies' of Mr.Blessed Guy.
Ya know..how in Circus, the clowns are allowed to beat macho guys, just to make people laugh. I mean the Macho guys can really squish the clown with his thumb, but won't do it.cuz ya know.."It's all for the show"

Well..The whole practice session resembled a circus during it's recess.

"You...You..YOU ARE OVERACTING" snorted Mr.Blessed to a macho footballer in our drama group, who was playing the part of a woman who had lost her husband.
"You are supposed to SOB ..SoB NOT bellow like a mating warthog." Mr.Blessed corrected the over dramatic situation, explaining in layman's terms how it should be 'performed.'

This 'mating cry' as our beloved Drama Team Lead had put it; was the last part of drama, where the lead woman in the drama cries over something.[Naa..not over spilt milk .Anyway.I really forgot the story line.I don't really remember why the woman cries, be it over happiness or sadness.]


The macho footballer, who played the 'Woman Character' was my wing man in class.So I thought I would give him some advice on acting, just to get his acts right.

"Dude!!! Think of a sad incident, that happened in your life, when you play that part..and you will get absorbed by it and you will automatically cry with tears and all"
"Like what?" He replied, just like a dumb footballer should.
"Err...Like..remember you got hit on your pee-pee, with football and you were doing that earthworm dance lying in that mud.I mean..situation like that..which pains you the most..." I stopped to look at his face.
Gwad!! Instead of sadness in those eyes, I saw rage and anger.His cheeks had metamorphed into butt cheeks of a baboon.
I felt thirsty after a long talk and quickened my way towards the water dispenser.

Finally, the world woke up to Friday.I tried to remember the 'script' which my character has to play,as I chomped on my breakfast.The breaksfast table was unusually silent.Mom actually asked me if I was feeling alright, healthwise.

"Ahem... ahem." That was my dialogue.
I enter the stage..Bow in another character..then I Exit the stage, closing the door behind.That was my character's role
Gwad!! Too much thing to execute with precision in too little time.I had to make use of the single dialogue I have to say and make a dent in the aura of the audience.
"Ahem ahem..Here I cahem"
I met the 'Footballer guy' [Who plays woman character], as I neared our school gate.He had an unusual grin on his face.Confidence was written all over his white and navy blue uniform.
He was having that evil grin on his face, when we were practicing it one last time, before the original act.

"BRACE... BRACE... BRACE" shouted the naval commander inside me.
The drama started in front of a full audience.Most of the scenes went without a hitch.Personally, I felt the "ahem ahem" was delivered to the full impact of EUREKA EUREKA!

It was the closing scene,where the footballer has to cry and capture the audience inside the tissue paper.Everyone was busy watching the verbal debate between two other characters on the stage.The Foot baller was nearing the 'P.O.C'[Point of Crying].The hands of the footballer was busy fumbling with something behind his back.NOPE!! It's not a severe case of worms..even though to any person in the audience would feel so.

Suddenly a small vial  of vicks-vaporub, fell on to the stage and started  rolling towards the audience.
Well!! Well!! Well!! To make the scene more authentic, the footballer was trying to apply vicks vaporub in his eyes-for the tears..for the tears...

Unfortunately while pulling the cap open the vial slipped out of his hands!!

Rest, my dear readers..you can imagine.It took quiet a while for the classroom to become silent.

The boys team did manage to make otherwise a sad ending to a really hilarious ending.
Who wouldn't love happy endings!!

The next day..It was the girls team. to perform the Drama We all sat with a sigh, praying to the Gods inside the Volcano.

The closing Scene:
Two characters having a verbal debate on the stage.
The Girl who was playing the 'Lead Woman character' in the drama was cying..laughing...crying...laughing..
She was not opening her eyes!!She had to bade good bye to another character who was leaving the stage.
NOOOO!! She was not even looking at that character.She was standing with her eyes cupped with her hands, producing  a constant weeping sound as that of an U.P.S unit during power failure[U.P.S=Uninterupted Power Supply]

Well..like the foot ball guy, she was trying to apply something more 'wickid' to make the scene more authentic with tears and all.
Later our investigation revealed that:She chose 'tiger balm' because, it has a cap which is 'twist open'  type.So no slipping out of hands.'

Their drama ended on the lines of Mahabharatha [ Her acting reminded me of the character Kunthi, in Ramayana]


Anyway, both the teams screwed up the most touching part and turning it into the
height of awesomeness.

An adventure with my wingman



buzzzzzzzzz... said...

His cheeks had metamorphed into butt cheeks of a baboon...........hahaha!! i like**

Sorcerer said...

aye aye...its like dat no? when angry.No?

Sakshi said...

Wow.. talk about making it authentic...!!! But I hate girls v boys in things like drama.. its more fun to have a mixed bag.. more excitement...

Girish said...

Mating warthogs!
Hilarious :)
And agree with Sakshi, mixing up boys and girls is always awesome :P

Sorcerer said...

yeah..they are awesome..it was just a small competition between the boys and the girls..then its kinda like..we choose the best among both for the final day show.
so..its just like that..:)

yeah..i can understand.its just a show,

Anonymous said...

Combo Rocks! m loving it...

Uncommon Sense said...

I know..technically it would sound proper if the 'head' was given to the boys

Sorcerer said...

yeah..technically..very riiggghhhttt


bondgal_rulz said...

Cute!! Though what class are you in, I wonder!! Four?? :P :D

Sorcerer said...

Thanks for the comment!

Rajlakshmi said...

hahaha ROFLing post
tiger balm !!! poor girl :P

budh.aaah said...

In 'Ramayan'???????????

Sorcerer said...

OOps!!Thanks for pointing out the mistake
Its Mahabharatha!!
Err!!! What was I thinking...
Will edit it and change it

Thanks for the comment

Surreal said...

hahaha...that was funny. :D

P. Venugopal said...

little nuggets here and there, Sorcy, like on the baboon's arse...i smiled four times during the reading which is not the usual score with with your best. keep writing.

Sorcerer said...

sure will try to up the score :)

yeah...ahem ahem..ya know..it has to come from the inside..very tough..very tough

thanks for the comment

Sam said...

Oh man, we have these types of incident in all our lives, but it is you who tells the sweetest tale.