Thursday, April 17, 2008


I come home in the evening, after my dinner. I was looking forward to finish off the Novel, 'The Arctic Event', then hit my cozy bed after. I took my spectacles to clean the glasses,

and.... Damn!! It slipped and fell. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall."

Butter fingers!!!

I was depressed, furious.

How can this, fiber glass (‘Plastic glass’ explanation for illiterate people) break?


Oh Yeah! I remember Mr.Murphy with his weird laws. Poor guy must have had suffered a lot, in the hands of fate. He must be very optimist. Made laws out of it all.

I would quote an appropriate one from his 'collection' for this 'situation' (wow! It rhymes..Iam an optimist)

"If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway."-Murphy


*** [ NEXT DAY ] ***

Early morning, 10:00 AM. I went to the eye clinic near my hood.

A guy was sitting at the reception. My heart sank.

A guy! At the reception!! Huh! How gay has the world become.

"If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then."- Murphy

I cursed myself for not being careful with my spectacles.

I went into the eye clinic.

* From here on the 'Receptionist Guy' would be called as 'REC_GUY'.

REC_GUY: What do you want?

Me: (What Am I hear for? Give me the best beer you got, you Moron!) Err...I broke my glasses, so would like to have, my eyes tested and get a new one.

REC_GUY: Your name, age, address , phone number please.

[With the remaining enthusiasm left in me, I gave the vital stats he needed about me.]

REC_GUY: You are no 9.

Me: Thank you!

Took a seat next to a guy who kept his one eye cupped with his hand.

[His gurrl friend must be from CIA.]

I would like to quote another from Murphy's for him:

"Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself."-Murphy

I gave him a smile, took out my mobile and started playin "Nature Park" on it.



Half an hour later a Maruti 800 came to a halt in front of the clinic. [ For Foreign Guyz: Maruti 800 is the name of a car found abundantly in India. Google it for its stunning pics.]

I was expectin an old man probably in his 50s, with gray hair and puffy cheeks ....

But I was wrong..Very wrong....a wrong which I would say, is very right.

Holy God!! Holy be thy kingdom.

A cute chic.Stage Entry.

The chic walked in to the clinic. She smiled to the REC_GUY

REC_GUY: Good Morning Doctor.

Doctor!...Did I hear it right? Doc? Is she the Doc? The Hot Chic Doc?

Lemme dedicate this Murphy's law to this situation

"If it seems too good to be true, it probably is."-Murphy



I was sittin there waitin for my rendezvous with the doc. The whole world around me was movin like a movie played in super slow speed.

REC_GUY: Patient No 1

Me:[ Playin Game]

REC_GUY: Patient No 2

Me:[ Playin Game]



REC_GUY: Patient No 8

Me: [Oh Boy!! oh Boy!! Iam next]



REC_GUY: Patient No 9

Me: [Moi Numbah!!! Oohh laa laaaa]

*** [ Doctor's Cabin ] ***

The whole place was Hi-tech. You won't expect this, from the look of it, from its faded outside.
Various machines,Gadgets.. and the Femme Fatale.

Me: Good morning madam. [ Hello! Docy! How you doin today?]

Hot_Doc_Chic: Good morning. Take this seat.

[ Pointing to a seat opposite to her.A laser machine sat in between us.]

Me: [In a very moderate voice].I broke my glasses yesterday. I need to test my eyes and get a new one.

Hot_Doc_Chi: Okay.How long you been wearin glasses.

Me: errrr..8 years.

Hot_Doc_Chic: Can you read those.Pointin to the chart.

Me: [Wow..All single digits,No complex numbers. Lucky Me!]




The Hot_Doc_Chic placed a 'Mother of all Spectacles' on my eyes

Hot_Doc_Chic: Now Can you read that



I felt like, being in Pre School and yeah with a beautiful chick, helping me with numbers.



The game of 'Hide and Seek' continued with variety of lenses and combinations of it.

[She moved another machine in front of me. Asked me to rest my chin on its cradle and look directly into the lens of that machine. Ooh!! The chic with heavy duty gadgets!! Mr.God...You are killin me!]

As I looked on through its lens..All I could see was a house in the distance.

Hot_Doc_Chic: Focus your eye on the house.Okay. Dont wink.

[Wink!.Holy cow! She could read my mind I guess!! khi khi...khi..khi..khi......]



After the test on both eyes. She was giving me this report, on what’s wrong with my eyes.

Hot_Doc_Chic: See..You have a problem with your cylinder....

and I was hearin...[ Hey dude! You got a yatch? Why don't me and you go to some
place an un-chartered remote island far...far... away. We can run around the beaches, swim in the blue waters all day, long. Do some TAN job...and in the evenin dance under the starlit sky with the weak light of the moon....]

..... and you have to include 2 carrots with your breakfast. Eat it raw.

I was promoted to say

"Eeee!Wassup doc?" Bugs Bunny Style

A smile crept across my face. I really wanted to say that to her at that point.

Ooh… I must have looked, liked a bunny to her. A wabbit. Those kind which unmarried, uncommitted chics love to hug, when they go to sleep.

Hot_Doc_Chic: Can you give me the spectacles. I would like to check the power of the glasses.

Me: Sure Madam.

As I handed over the remains of my spectacles to the Doc, my eyes scanned her well manicured fingers

and WTF? The ring…R.I.N.G with the hard-coded licensee name.



The commander inside was shouting..

"Soldier..Stand down soldier"

"Mission Abort..Abort...Abort...I repeat Abort mission."

"Committed Chick.Situation Hostile.Abort.."

"Soldier.Return to base immiedietly."

I replied to the commander inside me

"Aborting mission.Returning to base.ETA 30 mins."



Me: Thank you doctor.

And walked out with the prescription.

Mr Murphy. Please enlighten me on this with your all-time-right laws.

"All the good ones are already taken."- Murphy.



Arjun M said...

Amazing amazing amazing... :)
been wanting to post a comment here since quite a while, but technical problems prevented me from doing so..
Any way Mr Sorcerer, great work, keep it going. wohoo!

DrEaMeR said...

lolz that was funny!

You have an interesting style of writing..Keep it up :)

sorcerer said...

Thank you Arjun and Dreamer for your comments

letter shredder said...

i strongly disagree that all good girls are taken.

maybe all good doctors are. =p

Sarah Rahman said...

I enjoyed reading it :)

You have a unique way of portraying things :)

Kaber said...

ha ha really funny man.

all the murphy laws in the middle.

at least your glasses breaking wasn't so bad after all :)

doclet said...

hilarious.. waiting fr more frm u sorcy...

cutestangel said...

ha ha ha hee hee I am falling off my chair whilst reading this!!!
Fantastic commentry.Did you get anymspectacles then or did you go and have a contact lens consultation so that you could be treated by the femme fatale??????

By the way I am an optician by profession thats why really enjoyed this post.thanks

~Ms. A~ said...

ha ha..good one...its like getting a full on preview of what goes on inside a guy's mind when he meets a hot chick.good the way u carry it..didnt get boring. :-)