I R back.
Where was I?..
Errr..Me was kinda busy taming a dragon and teaching it some good toilet manners. Well..Not exactly ,I got buried under a landslide, then had to dig all the way down to China.
[Q: Isn’t China all the way up? Ans:Well if you are buried under a landslide ,direction is relative]
Now..Where was I?
Yeah…had to dig all the way yup to China, dodge some serious PSB ,then sling across the Great Wall of China on a Made in China ACME sling.
You are staring at the screen as if you ain’t believing what I said. Right?
Noooo..Don’t nod your head too fast that way, you may dislodge your pea-brain from its tentacles.
Okay!!! Lemme tell you the truth…psstt..psstt..I was learning to stick my head…. in a jet engine.
Aaaawwww!!!
Why not me? Why wasn't it me? - Just academic curiosity, you understand.
But…a Big But actually…
I did come back just like Santa Clause, [Nope!! My sack ain’t red though.] with a present for my awesome blog readers.
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Presenting to you LONA MISA, Au naturel, in her awesome glow thing without much thing. This lil orchid, la petite femme is Created on Ze Canvas with Oil ze Painto. [There is a popular misconception that adding ‘Ze’ makes the sentence look more Frenchish.]
[Painting.Photographed in two modes of lighting]
Medium:Oil on Canvas
Dimension:60.96 X 91.44 Centimeters..
..
When my knowledgeable friend [That friend of mine is strictly G.I. -- Gibbering Idiot!] saw this painting, he had a few questions to ask, which I thought, would share with you , just to help you in case, the same questions are haunting you like a civil unrest in your stomach.
1)Sorcy, are you a pervert?
Ans:Hmmm…Errr…Yeah. It looks good on me with this straw hat.
2)Are you obsessed with b**bs?
Ans:Errrr….Hmmm…Errrr….
3)Oh..Speechless.Are you?
Ans:Yeah..They always make me..I mean make everyone. I believe in the theory that when I speak, I speak for everyone.
4)Do you have a name for her..I mean the chick in the painting?
Ans:CHICK???HOOOH!!!She must be called the LONA MISA.
5)Why aint she dressed Sorcy?
Ans:Hmm…I seriously don’t want any researchers doing some awesome art research on the painting after a few centuries and then forming theories that I am not straight.[Lookie what happened to Da Vinci.].To Quote myself ”The only thing I got straight in my life is my orientation”. I wish so to 'uphold' that and the thing that goes along with it straight.
6)Who is LONA MISA?
Ans;I seriously don’t know. I was just Googling up some images of tattoo and found the photograph of this pink cabbage wearing tattoo worth painting.
7)What exactly is the dimension?
Ans:Hmm…From the best of my assessment , she should be a 36 E.
8)I meant the dimension of the painting...What is it..Tell me what is it..What is it tell me?
Ans: Owkay! Hmm Da painting you meant?..it is 3ft by 2ft. It's pretty large [Input:Dramatic Pause] painting.
9)Where you gonna hang this painting? In your bedroom?
Ans:Errr..No Thank you.I do have my wood mornings everyday. Don't need the help of a painting.
10) How do you find time to paint?
Ans:Yeah,really serious question.First thing you should do is look around, where you have kept all your clothes,piled up like mt Everest.Then Slowly take a deep breathe,take a few steps backward,gently...very gently size up the piled up clothes....Run towards it and dive into it..Frantically..search for that..[Yes, you are allowed to make weird voices and make faces like you are having an orgasm while searching for it]. Viola..you will find that it has managed to get entangled with your hands. Found one?Yeah..wear it. Cultivate clean habits. [I know Britney and Hilton will differ with me on this.].To Summarize..You don't find time...Time finds you!!
11)What inspires you to paint?
Ans:A nice cup of STFU and potato wafers.
12) How can you get started on painting?
Ans:Repeat after me: I will Google before asking stupid questions.
13)When will you ever paint something with clothes on?
Ans:HOOH!! I ALWAYS paint with my clothes ON. It helps me stand closer to the canvas.____________________
[LONA MISA..In the making ]
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