.::NICK NAME::.

Nick names are awarded to persons, who show certain unique characteristics from the normal Homo Sapien behavior.Nick names are scientific names given to an individual by the society to uniquely identify that individual from the rest of the group. Nick names are also awarded to teachers and professors out of sheer frustration or amusement of the students, some of these names are passed down from generation to generation.

People with curly hair become 'Noddle Head'. People who always win arguments by stating laws and theorems become EDD[ Normally Called DD!! hmm..Where have I heard that before].

I know of a certain person named "Cuckoo Aneesh."

Your guess is right, his real name is Aneesh. So why is he named after the cuckoo bird. Well the person who gave him the nick name has obvious reasons for it.

Now, if you think that he sings well, Nope, thank God he does not. Actually, when God was handing out talents he was checking out the menu card of Eat at Saint's.

In order to understand how aptly he is named, let us see some fundamental details about cuckoo bird. Cuckoo bird is cunning, it sings beautifully and it lays its eggs in other bird's nest.
As I said, Cuckoo Aneesh, doesn't sing.[*Phew].
But
Cuckoo Aneesh is very cunning.Nope! He doesn't lay eggs and I don't mean 'cunning' in that sense. He lays his thick college text books in other people's bag. You know how hard it is to carry around 'Comprehensive' information. Cuckoo Aneesh knows that, normally a college goer carries a bag to 'advertise' that he is going to college. Naturally, if you come out of the home without the bag, you got to face the question "Where you going?". The bag is self explanatory.

Everyone who sees you in the morning with the bag, will come the conclusion, "Oh!! So this guy is going to college."
A bag gives you the 'student' status and enables you to claim the 'student concession' in public transport system.

Cuckoo Aneesh also knows that, the college goer never opens the bag, especially the inner 'compartments' of the bag, where he strategically deposits the eggs...I mean his books, So his books are safe like the mummified Egyptian thingies.

So an unsuspecting classmate of his will carry his thick text book everyday. All Cuckoo Aneesh needs to do is claim the textbook without his classmate's knowledge in the morning and deposit it back before his class mate goes home.

So for this unique characteristics of laying books in other people's bag he is given the nick 'Cuckoo' Aneesh.Cool. No?
__________________________+

.::COLLEGE::.

"College...Yeah I know that place..Dude you should check out the pool club near that building..Awesome"-Cousin on college.

"A small step for man, a giant leap in financial debt"-Parent of College_n00b.
____________________

I know dear readers, some of you people must be in this awesome social setting called college and some of you must be missing that luxurious 'day care center sponsored by various banks and financial institutions.' This post is about those awesome place called college.

When a n00b set foot inside the gates of the place_for_awesome_knowledge; he is filled with new hope, a new energy to be successful in life [Har har har *snort *snort]. There is a positive vibe around him and a stupid grin on his face thinking about him pwning the world later.[The kind of grin Bill Gates had when he gave Windows 98 to the world.].Luckily such positive thinking will fade away in the coming days, due to environmental factors.

The n00b shows his attitude by flaunting his 'pods' and 'phones' [which he will ofcourse keep as collateral for weed in the coming years], in front of the seniors[Read:Demi Gods]. Some smart n00bs use the 'effective time' to make new friends and use 'contacts' in college to create an 'illusion' of security like Windows Firewall- an illusion which is an urban college myth .The 'Designer n00bs', try to find n00bs of the same species wearing black nail polish and pink colored phone.

What these n00bs fail to understand is they are being 'closely monitored' by their seniors and is being cataloged based on parameters.[I am under the Oath that the parameters should not be disclosed.]. Background checks are done on 'prospective n00bs' and are checked and cross checked to ensure 0 error in the approach pattern.
After making sure that their college kid[n00b] is inside the college the parents run off. They walk across a stream of water to put the college kid off their scent.

For the first few weeks the n00bs find themselves having a hard time, cuz of 'Attitude' by the seniors. N00bs who are athletic survive these weeks, mostly by outrunning a beer bellied senior who is in need of some entertainment. 'Smart n00bs' who have a larger-than-normal hippocampus(The area of brain that deal with memory and navigation) thingy, is quick to find places where fences are low and cracks in compound walls manage to surprise the senior by disappearing from view and is soon given 'elite n00b' status.
'Designer n00bs' are the ones who say 'NOT FAIR!!' the most in the campus. They always manage to somehow come between a rock and a hard place [Senior with a hardon] and end up dancing, singing and performing various traditional campus cultural items. Time moves on and soon a senior get caught in the web of 'Arrear Exams', campus fest and projects and has no time for pwning n00bs. Karma at large!!
*sigh


N00b soon learns everything about life, mostly in the first 6 months.But some who are not quick learners take at-least a year. Most of them get the enlightenment pretty soon.They learn that their professors know nothing of the subject they are teaching. The use of Google will help them to get the exact reference material their teachers are 'referring'. They also learn rather 'painfully' that the 'humorous dialogues' their funny professor says is exactly the same thing he has been saying every year, (y)ear after (y)ear.College student attend classes just for 'entertainment' and being with their 'loved' ones. Most of the professors have 'low visibility range' and back-benchers as they lovingly call them is way below the visible spectrum.

Back benchers are the elite of the elite.It takes pain to be a back-bencher. To adorn that place,you should have the guts to bunk exams and drop grades. Once you are a back-bencher, he is in the process to attain 'Nirvana'.The attaining of thick skin is the proof that you indeed is on the path towards Nirvana.

"Nature's Principle' does apply in the campus.Survival of the toughest. The geeks or nerds or 'intellectuals' known for their highly evolved brain and fragile bones[ cuz of lack of ability of their body to process protein and calcium in their diet] is 'leased' by back-benchers to complete their assignments and projects. In return the geek is provided 'freedom' and 'Right of self expression'. These geeks are later hired by the 'Back benchers' to run their company or FBI/NSA to secure their information backbone.

A geek is extremely grateful, if they are given food coupon or life's luxuries such as a micro tip pen or copy of pirated movies.

A Geek:Hey Dude!!

Harmless Senior:WTF? [ Seniors always use the 3 word approach.] Where you comin from?

A Geek:Guess what? I went for a movie, All alone. Ya know it got 'A' rating.

Harmless Senior:Wow! Good.

Some geeks show slight signs of improvement.

A geek can be found in Library reading thick books through thick spectacle glasses or can be found in the computer lab programming vector graphics for FUN!!.

The College campus is a place where people learn a lot about life. They get everything a shopping mall can't offer. A college campus has 'Self styled banks', that provides money for the needy to buy weed and booze. Text books are not accepted as collateral in most of the places.C'mon these days even canteen guy don't accept text book as collateral.
*sigh

College is a place where you will never be one man short for sharing a booze and playing caroms.
Only place where you can still see the barter system is a college campus. In some cases geeks are kept as collateral.A geek gets love of all the woman in the campus, but they don't see any geek 'that way'.

This place equips us to be self sufficient. Girls like the chameleon uses their tongue to capture 'pray' which is usually the campus equivalent of world bank for their small luxuries.Guys has to resort to various 'fund raising events' to make ends meet in campus.[When they 'roll' (use up) the money for exam fees on food,film,weed and booze].Such events actually equip a person to understand 'Life' in its broadest spectrum.

If you don't get enough exercise, the same thing that your parents were complaining of? A college provides facility for that too. College gym is the place that ranks 2nd in the list, first being the loo for high amount of 'Pungent smell' in per cubic air in that area.There is something better than gym.A college goer can join a self styled Campus Student Government, to get some much needed exercise. The agenda for most of the Student Government is 'Reasonable Parking Space for all vehicles.','Making it mandatory to wear dress to the campus.' etc.

A student who is in such movement gets ample opportunity for exercise like sitting cozily near a female and protesting on issues no one gives a damn about,climbing trees to tie banners, walking aimlessly under the hot sun etc.You would be really lucky if you are in Kerala campus, cuz you really get good chance to throw stones at cops, burn buses and cars[Mallu students are more sensible and they don't try and burn themsleves!They don't want their younger siblings buy cars and bike with their insurance amount!!Har har har ] and really enjoy yourself in all its awesomeness, simply because a crow pooped on a student's head.Only students can understand the plight of another student and being a student is a fight from the very beginning itself.No?

A campus is a place where many learn that there is more to life than FTv midnight hot ,E.S.P.N and I.P.L. This is the place where people understand in detail about opposite sex. Some people are surprised to learn new things about their own 'orientation'. Though doing engineering, a college student is more interested in 'anatomy.'. [This is what happens when a kid is forced to take engineering by his parents.]. He is so in love with anatomy that he paste posters of Monica Belluci[ Melena,posters especially], Lindsay Lohan etc on the walls of his hostel room.

This is where you get a chance to 'Hook-up' with the opposite sex. When a person from campus is 'paired'[ A term derived from Information Technology], he and she outcasts themselves from the 'group', and is found spending quality time,together, in the restaurant, deserted lab,far corner of the football ground, insde the car ,showing PDA or simply called as 'Mating Behavior'. When you interview such campus 'paired' couples, many of them give a vivid description of their 'so called future' together for ever.

Some even get paid[Ooops!! Typo.? . Go figure]. Such is the effect of weed on humans. Most of these 'paired' couples 'unpair' after transferring the data. E.O.F
"Curiosity killed the cat". This quote has a whole new meaning here.Don't you think..Guyzzzz? ;-)

Such unpaired couples can be seen sitting ,alone under mango tree reading some thick book or listening to sad songs.The guy can be mostly spotted by his scraggly beard.[Such Devdas behaviour is soon becoming extinct. *sigh..It's soo fun to watch them sit that way!.].

Columbus discovered America. There are some people in college, who is greatly influenced by the story of great explorers. These 'eXXplorers ' have the talent to form MoU[ Memorandum of 'Understanding] with individual of opposite sex.Then they will be 'Searching' and 'Exploring' that female's body sitting at the last bench in class or under the great Banyan Tree. This cultural item in the campus is called 'Thappal'[ A term defined by a Mallu], or in English simbly called as 'Searching' or G(.)(.)gling.These guys are often seen as 'Vathsyana' and is envied by the rest of the population. They do this to bust 'boredom' of boring topics in the booring class.Nothing else ..okay!!

Party poopers such as exams and assignments are conducted routinely to check how many students are there in each class by the University.This event is purely for statistical reasons. Many students are confident that writing 'national anthem' or 'lyrics of Enrique Iglesias' songs in the answer papers will get them the pass mark in that subject. Many of them gracefully clear the exam.

A campus these days doubles up as internet cafe. This is where students can login to various social networking sites and upload their awesome weekend party pics of them sleeping, cuddling a toilet bowl, onto their Face Book or Orkut Albums. To enable free access to the information age, many campuses give students FREE laptop [When you are on a Bank loan, everything is FREE!] which can be used to watch porn movies[on Mute], play game, chat etc while you are bored, [which is 90% of the time] in class.

A campus canteen is a fragile economy where the business is mostly done as a 'service.' This is a place where you can 'eyeball' on Extra Terrestrials [Chicks other than from your class] and sip on lame juice[ No!! I am not making fun of Mallu pronounciation. Most campus menu items are lame and is like the grades of a back bencher- below average.]

Finally, when they are send out of college declaring them as 'awesomeness' of knowledge. These people, equipped with the knowledge for money laundering, financing and managerial skills, find their natural talent and start up companies and get their geek friends to run them. College equips us to be masters in the art of deception. This skill is used to confuse the HOT H.R executives during the interview and get a call center job and start an awesome career life.

____________________

"The more we learn, we kinda loose the ability to take risk.Is it because, we are educated to be always right,never make mistake and our EGO doesn't allow us to be wrong or fail?" Sorcerer pondering over a cup of coffee.
__________________________+

.::TALKING TO A WOMAN::.

This post is categorized under the "Sorcy's HOW TO" Series of blog posts. This is where we discuss in detail about 'How to ' Tackle a particular problem in life awesomely.

____________________

If you are one of those, person who find it quiet difficult to talk to a woman, this blog post is for you. Let us assume that the awesome pickup lines I mentioned in my previous posts helped you to break the ice.

• Breaking ice 1

• Breaking Ice 2

Let us now see how to carry on with the conversation after breaking the ice and adding it into your drink.
..
..

Females love complements. So shower them with praises and complements like "Wow!! that black eye match your bra-straps". This is a fantastic and honest complement. I may not be the first one to tell you that how much woman folks love honesty. You should always complement on anything and everything she has and talk about it endlessly to make her feel comfortable, till she get sooo excited and seal your lips with a kiss.

Complement her on her fashion-sense, though she is in her lab uniform or college uniform and everyone is wearing the same thing.
If she is having a bad hair day and the whole world knows it, be different, tell her how beautiful her hair looks and it make her look saexy and is giving you a hardon.This will make her think that you are the person who finds the intricate pattern of order in every mess up. Complements like this comfort her very much.

Always add "Wow" at the start of every complement.This is to warn her that you are going to give a complement.

Example:

"WOW!!so,Wrinkle cream does work magic"

"WOW!! I just love that table cloth pattern on your dress."

"WOW!! Is that window curtain you are wearing?"

"WOW!! You sure have put on weight! So you got a pay rise.eh?"


You should WOW at everything she does.It's an art if you could creatively complement her pimples comparing her smooth skin to the craters on the moon.Adding a bit or poetic words always work the magic.Now you know the reason why you hate Enrique songs and she loves Enrique.Don't ya? Use French words like 'Banshur' or something in your conversation even though you don't know French. It adds more bonus points to your character.

Make sure that you know every little changes happening in her life and complement on it...like "WOW!! 'Those'..really look large today",[Say this by pointing your finger at 'those'] another honest complement and she will be thinking "Wow!! He notices everything about me! How lucky to be with him."
Remember, always complement on anything and everything she does.
..
..

Show that you care and respect. Woman like men who cares. If you want to be the knight in shining armor of the 21st and Half century, just like Sir, Daffy Duck, you should be a real gentleman. A real gentleman will notice that 'cleavage' which is showing through her shirt buttons and will offer her a 'safety pin'.She may be having a Skoda Octavia registered in her name on her 18th Birthday; but you 'gentleman' should buy her safety-pin. She may be confident about herself and her body, but it's a real gentleman's duty to enforce the 'divine' rules.

A real gentle man would fantasize having the most perverted way of having sex with a woman and sweat but in real world, offer the woman fur coat during the summer. Such acts of caring would bring you more closer to the woman you want to be with.
..
..

When you are talking to a girl, always stare at her heart and right lung.Remember,when you finally get a chance to have a conversation, make maximum use of it.Tell every good thing about you and make yourself very comfortable in front of her. Bring a wide variety of topics in your conversation. Woman like intelligent guys.[Einstien was married Twice.].Talk about UNIX kernal, COM components,Charged particle oscillator etc. Don't worry if she is sitting staring at you without talking anything. She is just spellbound seeing your awesome intelligence.

When you are done proving your intelligence, you can let her speak on topics you choose.Girls like guys who have 'control'. So you can ask her about girlish things[ yeah!! Things things they are aware of, only!] like PMS, calculating safe period,maintaining a good hair, shaving creams etc.This way you are letting her talk about things she knows, and she will have confidence.You don't want her to stumble and stutter talking about 'tough' topics.Real men, really cares.

Always bring in current topics and whats happening around the world in your conversation.Let her feel that you are very 'Today'. Talk about the email you received from your IT friend which has pics of Britney Spears without underwear.Give a lecture on 'How people dress up these days, and spoil the younger generation'. Then get her email address and forward her the same.Do bring up the 'Britney' topic every time you meet this woman again.
I think I have mentioned in a previous post somewhere that girls like guys who hold traditional values, a man who reflects a bit of real traditional culture, so talk to her about Paris Hilton and Kamasutra.
When you are talking about body parts, be sure to beat around the bush and make it more creative and make her guess which body part you are talking about by giving clues via words and actions.

Let us see an example

Guy:Ya know those round things...

Girl:hmm...Tyres?

Guy:No...Hmm..Soft thingy that are meant for kids but grown ups play with it more..

Girl:Hmm..Toy Train.

Guy:No..Hmmm.Those..pomp pomps.*Try and do it with action like honking a horn.[Invent your own code-words to make it more simple and appealing.]

Girl:Oh!!!That thing?

Guy:Yeah!!

Girl:I thought you were talking about boobs.

Guy:*Act totally shocked but try and change it back into a beeg smile in 3.5 micro seconds![Wow! You finally heard a woman say 'boobs'.Hmm...Yeah..Shes talking 'dirty'..that means she likes 'Sex'.]

Yeah!! You noticed it? How fast things are turning out for you when you are following the Standard Operation Procedures for 'Talking To a Girl'.
..
..

Making body contact is another good way for a healthy conversation.Stand really close to her, let her aura meet your aura.Let her breathe your muskish smell.It is scientifically proven that musk smell turns on a woman. By standing close to her, she will intake with her breathe the smell of seducing Axe Deo spray+The smell of Lunch+Smell of Beer/Any alcoholic beverage+Natural Body Odor, the sum of which is the musk odor of a male.

While talking to her, let your hands do the walking over her body while you are talking. Start by holding her hands.Move it up as you speak and hmm.shoulders..hm..hair..hmm..[Do follow a random movement pattern! Make it unpredictable for her where your hands would be next!The Game begins.]

Squeezing her bottoms is a real turn on for woman.So while she is busy talking to you, give her a good squeeze.This will really warm up the bottom and the conversation, exponentially.
If you can't get your hands around her waist[Horizontally a challenge] to squeeze the bottom,hold her hands,[If she doesnt' let you do that, try and grab it] while you are talking to her. Squeeze it hard and show her how strong you are.You know why Olive loves Popeye, right?..
..
..

Give her a positive body language. Experts says[What else they do..huh!] that our body talks about us more than the actual conversation via voice. One best example is porn movies.The chick in those movies do 'converse' a lot with her facial and body language and try to convince us that she had the Big 'O' of her life.

Clean your nails with the car keys or take wax out of your ear with the car keys while you are talking to her.This shows that you give a high priority for personal hygiene.Remember,personal hygiene is one of the girl's top priority other than chocolate.You can also alternatively switch between biting nails and spitting and picking your nose.
Do these to make first impression memorable. Rose[Kate Winslet] and Jack[Leonardo Di Caprio] played 'Spitting' competition on the deck of Titanic[Titanic-The Movie].Such classic movies teach us a lot.We all know they had sex within the next 45 minutes.See, Spitting improves your face-value among girls and gives you better chance for a 'relationship'.

Playing games on your mobile and texting your friend while in conversation with a woman shows that you have multitasking capabilities.
..
..

You should be a person who would understand humor and is a 'fun' guy. Always make it a point to make fun of/on her.She would love it and laugh. If it's in the middle of a group of persons, she would love that more cuz you gave her the limelight.

If you can't get any witty topics to speak about, go for the classics 'Hair Dresser and Old Man ' Joke.[ I know its old joke and every one knows it; but so is Romeo and Juliet.]
You may be a vegetarian, but be sure to be the one who knows all the non-veg jokes. Oh yeah!! She would love them and she would be inviting you to her home when her parents are away,soon.
Make sure that you repeat the same jokes over and over again, whenever you meet her.This is called 'Cherishing the Moment'.

____________________

Such are the methods for succesful communication, says the Sorcerer.

Pointer to the previous : How To Series
__________________________+

.::TEENAGERS::.

They are every where, just like bacteria in your mouth when you wake up from your sleep every morning. They are classified as humans in the transition phase. They do 'behave' [ A term which a teenager never understands!] like our ancestors[ Yeah! I should have called them Monkeys, But with all due respect to those harmless animals when you compare them to the teen-aged humans, I wont glorify 'teenagers' with the term 'Monkeys'.]just before loosing their tail and entering the awesome era of 'bachelorhood'.

Teenagers ARE the 'missing link' which the scientists has been looking for all these years. The only highly evolved organ in their body is the opposable thumbs, which is used to send text messages on phone and fiddle with the controls on ipods, iphones,imac and gaming controls..oh..also hold Pepsi Tin Can.

A teenager can be identified by the look or the smell, which ever gets to you first.Some prefer to call themselves a trend by blindly copying the way 'Brittany spears' or 'Ricky Martin' dress like. WOW!! Seriously, the choices they make in copying people is by the album cover and available options in their wardrobe,C'mon!! Who in their senses want to look even '.1% similar to these celebrities.
I think most of the coronary shocks happen when their parents see their kids in 'Paris Hilton' mode or 'E.T' mode.Since such cases are not properly documented, teenagers escape the statistical figures for coronary strokes.

"Is wanna-be a Halloween costume?"- Dewdrops on Wanna-be's.


C'mon who wouldn't be shocked when you open up the door at 2:00 AM in the morning expecting to see your 'lovely,cuddely buddely teenager' walk in, instead see a 'creature' with hair that resembles a porcupine, blood shot eyes,wearing either some animal skin or feather and smells like piss of buffalo.
Whenever I read in the newspaper about the sighting of 'strange creature' I always doubt that some one must have seen a teenager returning from a joint.

They can always be found in groups.No! they are not solitary animals unless during their 'me time'. If you are a girl, you can spot them easily by the way they stare at your *cough *cough bs. If you are a guy, you can spot a teenager by the pimples.

Their main hobbies are 'hanging out'. As I said, they hang out in groups. When they are in groups you can see their true color.[There is nothing as natural hair color!So don't be surprised]. They think they own the world, like a n00b in a chat room.They talk really really loud and you would wonder if you are in the midst of retards.Oh!! Okay!! Wait a minute; everyone of em is listening to their 'ipods', that explains their loudness.
They want everything loud, their music, their instructions and even their food.

"OMG!!,OMG!!,OMG!!!" if you hear those shouts, RUN..... You are in the audible range of crazy teenagers.

A typical teenager never sleeps, they hibernate.Most of them are nocturnal. They sleep during the day waking up just to have their breakfast, lunch and dinner [The main purposes of life other than going to loo].They are on phone during the night. If they are not on phone, they are in some chat-rooms, begging to so called 'cam-chicks' to accept their request for cam show.Their parents are 'cornered' to believe that their 'tech wizard' teenage kid is studying on the internet downloading model question papers.But in reality we all know what a teenager does online.
These 'kids' are lucky cuz of the advancement in technology.In your days,it would be the movie posters on the walls.C'mon!

They download porn [Yes! Teenager likes to see humans mate.], pictures and load them on to their mobile phone; the next day they would be infecting the blood lines of teenage hood with these downloaded awesomeness.Teenagers are also called 'homo erectus' cuz of such behavior.

Yeah they are spoiled by the technology, pot, booze and other designer drugs, and gadgets their parents buy to keep these alleged teenager quiet, cuz law prevents them from putting the teenager in a cage.

In case you are wondering what a teenager is talking about! Well! most of the time a guy would be talking about girls, sex,Girls,their hot teachers,sex,classmate chicks,[Yeah!Teenagers go to school,At least they are supposed to],cars,sex,football,porn,FB,Sports,sex,cheer leaders,IPL,sex. Most of the time their conversation is a mix of these topics;with girls and related stuffs clocking a healthy 99% of the conversation.

My research with the girl teenage population revealed that a teenage girl apart from bitching about someone who is better looking than her, typically talk about GOD [OMG!!OMG!!! HE IS SOO HWAAATTT!!!], Guy Gods,guy celebrities who is about to declare their unending love for the 'pizza delivery guy', Math professor,Garnier Product range,Sunsilk Gang of Girls thingy etc. They also discuss 'It's a girl thing' things and enrich themselves with awesome knowledge and get pregnant.

[If you are a teenager reading this, Go ahead Deny this!!That proves you are a teenager.Muaahahahahaha!!]

Teenagers get depressed..WOOOHOOO!!!! Yeah!!!God Giveth! Good thing no?

You can identify a depressed teenager by the way that bozo behaves. They would not show much interest even towards the last piece of pizza [Mallu's Read :'pissa'.]First symptom is the 'neglect' towards awesome food.They have a constipated grimace on their face all the time. They download 'sad..sad..' songs off the internet.They take bath.Such are the symptoms of a depressed teenager.

A teenager can get depressed because of various reasons.Most of the time they are depressed cuz 'Their Chemistry miss is getting married.' or the person who is at-least 15 years elder than them rejected their 'love' request then pointed and laughed at their maturity.

A teenage girl gets awesomely depressed when their crush(mostly a celebrity)gets married, or declares that he is a gay.A teenage guy is equipped quiet well with 'shock absorbers' to handle such news by female celebrities. Most of the time their celebrities are their 'Tuition teacher', neighbor aunt,friend's elder sister etc.

These teenagers always say that "WORLD IS NOT FAIR!! NOBODY UNDERSTAND ME..AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES IN THIS WHOLE FUCKING WORLD." Well not exactly in that particular order, but kinda like that.

Yes.."World is not fair" cuz they are asked to take bath by the district judge.They are right "NOBODY can understand them" cuz people are confused by their appearance, if they are Cow,alien,mutant, or a mutant alien cow by the looks of 'it'[Read:Teenager]."Am I the only one who cares"..Sure thing! They care only for themselves.

It's hard to understand them the way they talk.Ever had the chance to read a text message sent by a teenager?

Text Message:r u ,in?
Decipher it as "Are you coming?"

Teenagers are territorial.Apart from marking their territory by scent, they go to the extend of locking themselves in their room.Inside the room, they are pretty much doing nothing, they would simply be sleeping, reading comic books, browsing porn over the internet.Some teenagers indulge in the art of cross-dressing and write to Agony aunties asking them "If cross dressing is a disease."

Teenagers can eat anything and never be sick. They are like cockroaches. They eat anything and everything.The guy teenager likes to grow big and strong like a firetruck and hose the girls down.

A girl in her teen may look undernourished..But didn't you notice that she has such beautiful nails and hair [It's ironical that hair and nails are called dead tissues].A teenage girl would do anything to look skinny and to have a belly like that of Shakira.Most of their daily diet consist of 2 almonds and 1 badam XOR any juice [Organic] that is pink in color.Their fave drink is orange juice or any fruit juice without sugar,water ice etc etc.
[I know guys!! Porm movies does misguide us guys a huge lot..*sigh]

Teenagers are dumb.They take proud in shooting their awesome stunts like 'lighting up crackers on their head',jumping off the terrace to a plastic bucket full of water, cycling on terrace blind folded, humping pets. running naked and butt sliding on the road,smashing bottles with fart.Once they video record their awesomeness they put it on you-tube for the whole world to see or send it to AXN for the 'Retard's Show'.
____________________

"NOT FAIR!!" when I write only the truth about them. I cannot be that honest.Teenagers are not that bad.Okay! They are good.Okay! A teenager is actually a good thing, when duct taped and is put in the boot of the car.They behave such a way cuz of chemical reactions arising out of curiosity.

"It's easy to understand a person younger than us, when we look back at how rebellious we were when we were their age and accepting the truth of the present."-Sorcerer

What prompted me to write this blog is when I saw a discussion on T.V about 'Mobile phone-Teenagers and Relationship.'.There is no point in blaming a technology or technologies for the teenage abortions. For the generation who can't understand the technology and is finding fault in 'all those technologies to misguide youngsters' should try and understand these teenagers,[Atleast they are of the same species.]. It is easy to decipher [Read:Understand] a human when you talk to them in "their" way. Remember they are yet to learn our language, but we already know their language.[Don't we call Ourselves 'Mature'?]

"Be a friend in all means,not a dictator, only then you will know their pulse; if else you are tapping at the wrong nerve with your eyes closed.A youngster, can put a whole show for you till they say 'FIN'.And then you wake up from your slumber into a not so good reality!"

__________________________+

.::PICKUP LINES::.

I was told [or warned] by my awesome readers to put a disclaimer or warning tag on my blog-post before I give awesome gyan.[Read:Information]

So here it goes Err..Feel free to try these pickup lines at your own risk.'
Note:There is no risk when you are standing sideways and a hand's length away while trying these lines on the chick you find in the pub.

Some of them are customized for e=mc^2 kind

____________________

• Excuse me...Err...Is your name North? Cuz my compass is pointing in your direction.

• Hello there Baby!! Are those firmwares real?

• Ooh!! You turn my floppy disk into a 'hard' disk.

• You have a greater gravitational pull than earth, I think I am locked in your orbit.
  

• You look so hot, you would keep my lap more warm than my laptop.
  

• Ooh la la..Can I mount my server on your rack?

• Baby!! You overclock my heart.
  

• I can't spell FCUK without U.

• What's your name?I think I should call NASA and say I discovered new moons.

• You slow the world around me like gaming on a machine with defective graphics driver.

• Let's go to the parking bay and perform some 'illegal operation.'

• Can I access your special folder?
  

• Let's go to my shell and compile all night.

• We could be sin ²X + cos ²X tonight. What say?

• I can use my fingers for more than just Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
  

• What's your name?Err..I wanna shout your name when I have a buffer overflow.

• You are like an HTML Structure. Small head and Huge body! [This will definitely work]
  

• You are my cure for low blood pressure.Sugar!!
  

• Gwad!! you just gave me a level 5 outbreak.
  

• Us together will be like 2 hard drives on RAID1[RAID 1 mirrors the contents of the disks, making a form of 1:1 ratio realtime backup. ]
  

• Baby!I won't let anything come in between our relationship, not even latex.

• I can be 3 and you be 23.Let's go home and multiply.
  

____________________

These should work mostly! Use Axe Deo Spray as 'Plan -B'. There should always a plan B.
Plan C is the door with the sign 'EXIT' in bold red lettering. Period.

__________________________+