.::E.S.P::.

He was on his way for the exams. Like 98% of his fellow college mates [ 99% of statistics are made on the spot], he had used his ingenious skill and patience to make photocopies of answers for all 'expected' questions.

As a student of engineering his alliance with the technology is understandable. He believes in the theory that to survive the education hurdles of engineering, a typical engineering student should have sharp brain or sharp eyes. Both brain and eyes is a rarity, and according to the theory of evolution, one organ will always become vestigial during the course of study.

That morning he had dressed up early and indexed all clues on various part of his body, concealing it from the prying eyes of the examiner. Shirt collar, inner pockets, socks, shoes, belt buckle, everything became, data storage points. For some time he himself had become a GOOGLE server. His conscious metamorphed into that of a CIA agent who has to deliver top secret documents and was on a special mission.

He got out of his home. He gave pathetic looks to those chicks who were still, 'learning' by reading books while waiting for the bus. He thought about the 'applied' part in applied electronics, sadly, very sadly.
"Why can't they apply technology to daily life, tactically!!" He thought. He felt sad thinking about those 'engineers' who neglect wonderful technology like micro-photostat.

He sighed like the sorcerer who owns this blog.

The usual chatter of chicks didn't interest him much, cuz these days the chicks don't gossip much and was nothing interesting in that frequency, unlike other days. These days all he hear is 'resistance' and 'capacitance'; those words always scare a bachelor or any male for some 'undisclosed' reason..literally!!
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He got into the bus. For him it seemed like a lucky day, as he got a seat. He tried to close his eyes and take a power nap. The problem with the design of human body is that, you can close your eyes but, its kinda impossible to mute the sound. He thought, it would have been better, the other way round.
How he wished he could watch those chicks with eyes wide open and manage to close his ears, like him watching FTV on mute while the whole family is asleep.

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His mobile phone rang. He answered it. It was his bench mate.
The "YO" usual greetings was made.

"Ha ha ha ...Yeah I know..What to worry man?" His voice was beaming with confidence.

"Hmmm...Yeah..that's why engineers, our great senior engineers invented micro-photostat..amazing..I took almost all of the text book."

He looked at the chicks through the corner of the eyes, trying to see if any chicks was listening to his awesome conversation and his applied electronics way of solving 'exam' problem.

"Ha ha ha..the examiner would be some old guy, who would still be using carbon paper for photostat...Ha ha ha..". This statement comes out of the over confidence in the awesome phenomenon called the 'Generation gap'.

"Yeah!! yeah!! I have it all stacked between shirt collar, belt buckle, socks, shoes.Don't worry man..we will clear it through".

Saying that he disconnected the call.

Gave another look at the chicks and using his facial expression tried to convey that " HAHAHAHA!! You girls are so 1980's.. Learn from me. the genius."

He closed his eyes and was back in the frame with Nayanthara.
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The examination hall had the usual feel of a cross between some place of worship and the waiting lounge of an ICU ward of a hospital.

An examiner, an old man walked in. He wore thick glasses, that meant, visual range of only a few feet. The heart of the college guy leaped as he thought of the endless possibility and Mr.God's way of giving bonus up one bonus.

He chuckled when he thought about the concept of virtual reality and the visual range of old man. He thought, for the old man he would look like a low resolution character in a PC.Game. He tried hard to control his laughter.

Our hero, the college student felt so confident that if he could copy without making much noise, he would pull through. Every male who is single, has a natural ability to perform various acts without making noise. It's an inbuilt skill.

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The examiner walked towards him and just like a FBI officer he said "Hand over all the bits.".

The college student was like "WTF?" .How come he know that I was having bits? He thought.
He looked closely at the face of the examiner again.

His memory flashed back like the 70's movies,slowing down with an eeearie music.
"FCUK" he thought, "this man was the one who was sitting next to me in the bus."

Reluctantly he surrendered all the bits hidden in various part of his body to the examiner.

The examiner had a constipated grimace on his face, just like this blog writer.
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The rest of the students in the examination hall had scared look on their faces. They had never encountered an examiner with Extra Sensory Perception before.
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.:: CONVERSATIONS::.

sulagna: hi

me: *Faints
Hi
2:11 PM
Where you been ?

sulagna: angry
vr angry
u keep quite u

me: Happy womans day
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n00b:No chicks talk to me online.

Sorcerer:hmm...

n00b:Any easy way to get a girl friend?

Sorcerer:Put nail polish on your favorite hand.

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Gelf Returned Chick:So, my friends asked me why, I was not driving vehicle over here.

Sorcerer:Hmm..

Gelf Returned Chick: Ya know how hard it is to drive on Indian roads.

Sorcerer:hmmm..And you told 'em you prefer to drive those voice controlled locomotives.

Gelf Returned Chick:Well!! errr..

Sorcerer:Camels.... Ya know..those found in the Gelf deserts.
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n00b:Which is the most sensitive part of a male?

Sorcerer:Errr..Ears, according to a bachelor, cuz we need to pick the faintest sound signal of someone walking in.
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n00b: Is porn download legal?

Genius:Tell me your opinion about Big Bang Theory..
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Ra***: So did you wish your mom on Woman's Day?

Sorcerer:Err!!!

Ra***:Just make a call and wish her, even though she hasn't achieved much by bringing you up.

Sorcerer:Geee!! Nicee...
____________________

Genius:Where you going?

Sorcerer:Your ass just broadcasted at a lower audible frequency, but the message was loud and clear.

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.:: NELLIYAMPATHI::.

Most of the time, when you plan for a trek, heck it doesn't work out the way we planned it.
So on the day, when we were supposed to be on the road to Nelliyampathy, a hill station which is quiet a few 1000 feet above the sea level, we were short of one bike. Reason: One person in the group had C.O.P[ Short for Change Of Plan].

We made all possible calculations, using our highly evolved brain and still couldn't fit 6 people on 2 bikes. Our calculations were incompatible with those of the cops who insist on 2 like that of the population control Dept.
These days, cops are smart and they know to count.

In the end we all sighed and thought of spending some time sitting near the premises of the district jail, which was housed inside an old Fort. Then later we thought of going to a theater and sleep in the air conditioned room, and wake up only to see some smooch scenes or some song number. Like the lemurs, we too have sentries in our group who watch out for 'situations' when others sleep.

My cousin was still chewing on the idea of going to the hill station like a toddler suckin on thumb; and was using all the power of his gray-cells to try and remember a spare bike.[ A bike which someone can spare to us for a day for the trip.]

Suddenly his face lit up.At first we thought he had managed to zero in on some chicks near the Hanuman Temple, but he remembered an old bike which was retired from action since 2000; now enjoying its company with spiders and rats in an old shed.

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The old bike was called into action. Since it was his awesome idea, he volunteered to drive it. The bike may be old, was behaving like a nagging 5 year old. There was some issues with the electrical system on that bike and whenever it started, it lit up like a Christmas tree, blinking all lights in unison.

Shutting of all the 'out'standing electrical connection was one way to fix it and that was only way to fix it. That meant, no horns. Anyway, such loud machines doesn't require a horn. It sounded like an old man on beans when you shift the gears.

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Rules on Kerala Roads.

1)K.S.R.T.C bus drivers are always right; means they are always on the right side of the road.

2)Never smile at any BUS driver when you over take him.Smiles can bring you scars.

3)The number of times an oncoming driver blinks the 'pass lights' is the number of seconds you have left to get out of the road.

5)Unlike other roads, where you find cows and dogs on road, kerala has elephants on the road, try and keep your nose open in order to avoid becoming a dude [ DUDE actually means, hair on an elephant butt- Moron actually means a person who believes that 'dude' means an infected hair on elephant butt.]

6)The modes of communication between drivers on the roads are horns, lights and middle finger.

7)Parking space are like cute chicks..already taken.

8)Always look both ways when jumping a red light.

9)When you are changing lanes, never turn on the indicator; this is a classic blunder, cuz the other moron will speed up and never let you in.

10)When you see cops with speed gun, throttle up and watch the expression on his face!! Awesome!!!

11)Autoriskshaw drivers are direct descendants of Houdini- At one moment they are on the left side of the road, and the next moment ..viola!! they are on the right side. Don't forget to push down the break in excitement!!

12)Never leave safe distance between your vehicle and the vehicle in front of you, an Autoriskshaw may barge in between.

13)When you see more scars on the body of the vehicle in front of you, stay away, cuz that vehicle can be classified as a serial rapist in auto industry terms.

14) Give a frown when you overtake a Mercedes Benz or high end vehicle. It's the classic gesture.

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The 33 KM trip from Nenmara, will bring you to the scenic place called ,Pothundi. This is the first pit-stop : 'The Pothundi Reservoir' area.

[Unlike the usual Dam constructed using Concrete core and other cement mixtures; this dam is made using JAGGERY and Quick Lime.This dam is the second dam in ASIA made without using cement mixture.Awesome!! No?.]

This is the base before we started moving through the winding roads. up the mountain The first 5 pictures in the collection is from Pothundi Reservoir. If you are here, fill up your resources from the shops near by.

During the monsoon the reservoir area would be flooded with water. Since we went during the summer, we were able to walk down the slopes of the reservoir. We walked all the way to the green grazing patches at the foot of the mountain. It was so breathe taking. The grazing patches lined with beautiful trees .If you are a bird enthusiast[ I meant the one with feathers and definitely not mammals], you could find different kinds of water birds in these parts.

From the base of the mountain, you got quality road to travel all the way up to the hill station. The hairpin bend roads are real fun to drive on. Most of the time the roads are deserted, that is when you decide to throttle up, it doesn't matter; but the question is do you really wanna miss the scenic places. Its fun when you drive slow and smooth on those roads, enjoying and cherishing the scenic nature.
The gradient and colored pattern thrown out by different trees on the canopy and the skyline is magnificent.The roads are narrow like the waist of Cathie Jung; so we had to be extra careful while driving on those roads, in our rush to reach the hill-station before noon.

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As you drive along, you will pass through the 'Poabs Biotech' tea and coffee estate. As you move through the coffee estate, the air is filled with the fragrance of coffee flowers. Wow!. That is the fun of biking treks, we are exposed to the elements of the nature. Good. No? The well manicured tea plantation like green carpet s a wonderful sight which unfortunately I couldn't take snaps of because the battery was running low on mobile phone.

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After another 45 minutes drive, we reached the hill station. This is the place where we recharged ourself with coffee and snacks.

Nelliyampathy is a whole different place altogether. Breathe taking views, The mountain slope on the left [Pic 18] looked like the face of an old man.We were mesmerized by the view. The trees, that were well manicured and pruned by the elements was in itself a masterpiece of mother nature.
The massive and old teak trees stood with their heads held high through the mist and the light.
You can find many rare species of birds and butterflies in this area.
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..

After spending a few hours on top of the hill station we doubled our way back home.That's when....

Cops signal for us to stop, of course we were wearing helmet, yeah? Err..but it was on the knees.

Cop: Where you headed.

Us:Back home.

Cop:Where you coming from?

Us:*Points to the top of the hill

Cop:Were you wearing helmets?

Us:Errr..

Cop:Was it on your head?

Us: Errr...

There goes 100 INR to the central reserve.
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We staged this scene to make people aware about the importance of wearing helmets.



[ This picture is issued in public interest; Do wear helmet at the appropriate place to avoid disasters in life.]

**Wear the right kind of helmet at the right place at the right time to avoid 'situations'
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For my blog readers, I did take some pictures and hope you like 'em.
Sharing it here.

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....[*18]


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Did anybody notice an old man in the picture marked *18?
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If you missed the details..Look at the picture again, you can see the face of an old man, let the imagination flow,,and even the details of the wrinkles, the eyebrows, the deep set eyes, the sloppy nose...... are seen on the cliff face.

Mother nature it is..Isn't she a fantastic artist? She is incredibly awesome!!

Happy Woman's Day!

__________________________+

.:: KIDS ::.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

.::METAPHOR/PUN?::.

Another of my awesome metaphors and similes or what ever it is called..PUN?

• It was simple logic like wearing pants with zip backward when in San Fransisco.

• The fighter pilot lost his 2 engines and a part of the wing, but still he managed to keep the aircraft afloat, by keeping the center of gravity at the center like Pamela Anderson running in Baywatch, on the wet beach.

[ See..D I managed to put that in a sentence ]

• The management was behaving like a person watching woman's tennis with eyes closed and thinking of an entirely different situation.

• He knows all her secrets like her window curtain.

• It was her first time.She felt like a recharge coupon about to be scratched.

• It was an age-old American tradition, like celebrities out in the public without wearing underwear.

• He was too scared to take risk. He was like that person who would wear rubber gloves when having cyber-sex.

• Her heartbeats began to rise when she saw him; She felt like Paris Hilton seeing color pink.

• She broke his heart , just as easy as popping a bubble gum bubble.

• The remote server crashed and it was a shitty situation. They missed the system administrator like toilet paper.

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