Diabolical

< CONVERSATION >

2009-12-09T17:32:00.002+05:30

Sorcerer picks up Wise guy's phone.

..
..

Wise guy: Who was that?

Sorcerer: Your worse nightmare.

Wise guy: My Girlfriend?

Sorcerer: Nope.Your Boss.
____________________

Genius: Lap tops are females right? I want to name my new Vaio.

Sorcerer: They burn your crotch when you keep em on lap right? so laptop is definitely a female.

____________________

Wiseguy: What you searching for in the cupboard?

Edd: A floppy disk.

Wiseguy: Take a shovel and go out.

____________________

There is something wrong with me. I woke up in the morning, dreaming about compiling some crap-shit source code and I remember seeing the Google Main Page in all its splendor.
*sigh
__________________________+

< 55 FICTION - HER BF>

2009-12-08T14:18:00.009+05:30

He was her new boy friend.
..
..

He was huge for her, as she felt him between her legs. She felt the elation as he quickened.
She felt it pulsating, she squeezed him hard. Her thighs closed on him.

..
..

She was almost… there…
..
..
She pulled into the parking bay.

She thought with a smile…Pulsar… Definitely Male”.

____________________

Now those who don't know what PULSAR is. It's an awesome bike and the caption goes "Definitely Male".

This 55 Fiction thingy is kinda growing on me.

[ Input evil laugh here]
______________________

EDIT(After Saurabh's comment at December 8, 2009 5:31 PM):

Saurabh said..

"You really nailed this one. I own one Definitely Male Bajaj Pulsar too. But next time I "ride" it.... therez gonna be an awkward smile on my face!"

Well.. I say

"OOPS!!Ah, me public!"

__________________________+

< CONVERSATIONS >

2009-12-07T15:52:00.004+05:30

At one time(not in band camp), I thought I was in the danger of becoming a good man.
phew it passed.

Here are some, off the tangent conversations, I had

____________________

Wiseone: Where did you keep the diks.

Sent at 3:32 PM on Monday

Sorcerer: Last time I checked, mine is still with me. Yours, ask your girlfriend, she would know.

Wiseone: hahaha SORCY!! VERY FUNNY!! in case you are making fun of the typo. DISKS not DIKS.

Sorcerer:Ask her for info on "Both"!!

____________________

Genius: My GF is having "issues" with me again.

Wise one: This week too?

Sorcerer: Did you "subscribe" for them.

*I loved the look on the face of Genius. Enlightenment+kinda dumb look.
____________________

..
..

Guy1:especially the fucking internet ex 8.0 pain in the derriere

Edd: derriere?

Guy1:derriere is bums.

Edd: ass?

Guy1: yeah

Edd: wow!! i should Google "derriere".This keyword will give me different pics when I Google Image.
____________________

It's a known fact that (in some cases) some people don't really care for technical words when they talk. This incident happened when I was in Kerala last month.

A guy, not that old, but old walks into my friend's computer accessories shop.

A bit Old Guy: Do you have a mouse with no balls?

My friend who runs the shop Gives him the optical mouse.

__________________________+

< 55 FICTION - FIGHTER>

2009-12-06T18:22:00.005+05:30

Ryan looked through the Scope of his M40A3 sniper rifle. He had a clear shot of the head that brought violence to his motherland.
Holding his breathe, he pressed the trigger.
..
..

“CRACK”

Ryan felt his warm blood flow down his chest.
..
..

“Bogey down”- A shadow spoke.

“I am sorry”-Ryan thought as he fell.

____________________

Conscious: So a clean post after, lots of perverted ones.

Me: Well!! We are not perverts..

Conscious: Speak for yourself. I know I am not a pervert.

Me: So, Who gives me these ideas?

Conscious: I get held against my wishes.

Me:So, now its all MY fault. Well!! Fine.. shut up Now..alright..I made it up to you. Let me sleep in peace..or watch football or do what ever I like.

Conscious: Ooh!! This hostage game is sooo nice nice...

Me: Shut up and lets post this another awesomeness.

__________________________+

< 55 FICTION- LOLITA >

2009-12-05T14:56:00.002+05:30

Lolita has to do it. She has to please him somehow.

She has to break her conservative thoughts.
..
..

She had never done such things before. She took it and pushed, the red head popped up.

Brought it to her lips and rubbed it. It tasted good.
..
..

Wow!

She loved the new flavored Lipstick!!!

____________________

*Any resemblance to any character living or dead is well, what can I say, Fate?

"Don't blame me, your understanding of it depends on how your mind tame the words"- Sorcerer
__________________________+

< 55 FICTION - FIRST TIME >

2009-12-04T15:26:00.004+05:30

If it has to happen, it has to happen now. He had never done this before.
He really didn’t wan to rush, break the skin, bleed. He felt the soft skin.
..
..
He took the stick in his hands. His hands trembling.
..
..
He placed the razor near his foamed up beard and shaved his scraggly beard.
____________________

That would be my attempt in writing a 55 fiction. Just stating, if in case, you missed the 'awesomeness'

__________________________+

< ANALYSIS >

2009-12-03T17:28:00.008+05:30

I thought I would do a little bit of introspection and retrospection on what my blog readers liked on my blog. It's always nice because you would be successful blogger if you really understand what readers look for, in your blog. Being an analyst myself, and playing with the data all the time and reading between them, this was a walk in the park. Here I present my analysis report to you, my dear readers.

1) My awesome writeup titled Relax and Dream brought in 6 comments.

This was a blog about, how we sneaked out porn from the castle. Well, porn always find its way into your network and to your (Optional Read:dirty) mind

____________________

2) Next blog post was about, some usual insane off the tangent conversations we had. Well the people says, humans are the only ones who can communicate in many forms. Well I don't know about human pheromones(in gaseous state), as such communications are usually not much entertained.
But, I believe in communication, and I post some here(of course with permission)

This blog post named 'Conversation' brought in just another 6 comments

____________________

3) Cricket!! In this blog post, I wrote about a guy getting hit on his balls by a ball, which was unintentionally done.
But
Seems like everyone liked it. I got a whopping 13 comments

Yeah! So my analysis states that everyone likes reading writeup about a guy getting hit on his balls.How Funny!!( Please note the sarcasm surrounding the statement.)

Well what a world.

May be I should write a book. 1001Ways To Save Your Nuts. This book will not be about saving your nuts from freezing winter. This book will have complete collection of tips and tricks to save the nuts for the sake of humankind.

My blog post has nothing to do with proposing to a girl, But still, a citizen has to do what a citizen gotta do..Right?
This caution is just the beginning, the shape of things to come.(My book)

____________________

Ps:
1) Don't email me pics of your nuts. I am writing a scientific journal, not a comedy thriller.

__________________________+

< CONVERSATIONS >

2009-12-02T19:26:00.004+05:30

Overheard:

"Don't bang your ball on the wall. You are dirtying it."

____________________

Ro** : I feel so heavy in my heart

Ron**: I recommend Helium

____________________

Wiseone(on phone):Yes...No......errrr..No...Yes....

Sorcerer(To himself): When you have a girl friend, you learn to talk in Boolean.

____________________

Ed: Wiseone!!! Why are your eyes red and swollen?

Sorcy: He got sperm in his eyes.

[ High decibel Ed Native laugh]

Wiseone: Idiot!! Its pollen. I am allergic to pollen grains...what you call em..Pollen grains..right?

Sorcy:Its flower sperm in layman's term.
____________________

Wiseguy:next time don't ask me how to do it.Just figure it out yourself.

Genius:How do I do that?

____________________

"If everyone lookin for God, won't he feel like we are stalking him?" - Sorcerer wondering on God.

__________________________+

< RELAX AND DREAM >

2009-12-01T14:33:00.009+05:30

This incident happened a few years back, when I was working with the R&D department in one of the major software company.

Being in the Research and Development department, has it's super advantages. Many outside the highly secure glass panel of R&D believed that R&D stood for "Relax and Dream." Well, what do they know!! We have been specifically trained and hardcoded to smile and do strange dumb things and laugh at it. That is what they pay us for. We are just doing our job.

As I said, it has super advantages. Let me tell you why.

1) Unlimited internet access, to access, resources and materials to enrich our already awesome knowledge which we are never going to use in our life time, except those learned from porn.

2)We had a 3 Temperature water-cooler inside our department.That reason itself is the biggest proof to prove that we have the super advantage.

3)We get powerful and new machines.

But we have our limits too.

Any CD/DVD/electronic media or other media that can store data has to go through strict check. This is checked by a smart female.This 'female' was to psychologically restrain us from even trying to sneak out 'awesome'/any stuff, which we downloaded.

This was the reason why we envied the Media department. They were the ones who were actually enjoying a lot. They can do anything they wanted. They can copy stuff. They can write anything onto CD. Download Chicks.jpg and call it ART for the brochure, but they didn't have the water-cooler inside their deparment like ours.

For this simple reason, Media is our ally.

Meet, the Agent smith and Party of this story. This department keep an 'eye'(Other eye would be over some hot chicks) on our network activities. They consider themselves to be one level short of "Playing God".

Every others feared them. They considered "Agent Smith and Party" to be like, Ebola or some silent killers or serial rapists, always lurking in the dark, watching your every move. Waiting for you to make one wrong move.....

But

We in R&D pity them, cuz they are using the network monitoring tools that we developed to monitor the network. Ironically, we decide what to show them and what not to show them. We decide what buttons they can click.

Well! This actually is the problem with the world. The people in power thinks that, they have the buttons and therefore the power, but it's actually those people who made the buttons, who should actually be in power, cuz only they know the true power of the button and hence be sensible. Science and who understand science should rule.

As one of my knowledgeable friend once said...

"Intellectual anarchy is better than democratic mayhem"- Dewdrop.

Which I think holds true, thinking about the state of the world today.

[ I thought of putting it in golden color, but it was hard on eyes. Well!! Truth always is!!]

That make us in R&D half level short of "Playing God". For us, Agent Smith and Party never exist. They were like those tiny little, creatures, swimming in 'cultural fluid' in some petri dish...Long way down the food chain and way lot to evolve. If I were to explain the corporate chain, I would start from the bottom with 'Agent Smith and Party'.

"All your base are belong to us"

One day, an advenuterer named 'Lijo Mathew', set out on voyage. Like any great voyage, in the afternoon after lunch, This, young explorer stumbled across a link."A small link for man , a giant database of porn kind."

Soon this young explorer was bypassing and outsmarting the 'sniffer dogs' of so called 'Agent Smith and Party' and downloading stuffs.Young, the sailor was. Who can blame him, for he was young and lonely in the vastness of the sea called internet.

After downloading the movie, he claimed it in the name of R&D. Now it belonged to us.

We beamed it to the media dept. server.

Now the mind game begins.

Ram****** is the department head. A young guy who sees everything as art. He even sees designs in crow poop. He could even look at it and tell from which height and angle it was launched to create such design. [ I just want you to understand how much of a genius he is.]

Ram****** calls us over the intercom phone. Negotiation begins.

[ *Added dramatization for effect in the below conversation.]

Ram******: I will burn it on to CD, watch it and then tomorrow, you guys can get a copy.

Lijo: NO!! if it was not for us, you people will never have anonymous access over the internet.

Ram****** : Don't push too hard. I can watch it and delete it and say THANK YOU to you.

Lijo: Consider that, you will never have anymore support from R&D.

Ram******: booo hooo...please...please don't leave us. Listen, we have your software patch for anonymous access that means we don't need you anymore.

Lijo: Will call you back.

" I downloaded the movie, I have every right to watch it first."Lijo was fuming." Ya know, I even arranged to leave early from office today."

"What should we do." They asked the sorcerer. [ They always ask the sorcerer on advice, such as these.]

The sorcerer sat in contemplation. Eyes closed, not snoring. This was the battle between the minds.A resolution need to be made to avoid further escalation. We always do the risky job. We are trained for such jobs, like creating methods that crash but bail out the data unharmed or download unauthorized stuff. Still we were dependent on those whose department look like a play pen of a toddler for our personal needs.

" Call him, tell Ram****** that we agree".

"But" hesitated Lijo.

The sorcerer motioned his hands towards the telephone.

____________________

NEXT DAY MORNING

Ram****** is seen sitting in the cafe. The R&D trio wave at him. He wave back

Ram******: You, people are so bad.

Hari: What happened?

Lijo and Sorcerer was sitting silently sipping on coffee.

Ram******: I went home with the CD. In order to reach home early, I didn't take the cab. I took the bus, crowded bus, mind you. I reached home. made all arrangements to watch the movie. I opened the CD in media player and all I got was RD BURMAN songs, Old Hindi Song.!! I anticipated too much. You should never do such things even to your enemies.

Lijo gives the CD to Ram******. "It is in this. Watch it. It even has a story line."

Ram****** : Thank you.

____________________

"What exactly happened yesterday evening?" asked Hari.

"We have Intel that Ram****** keeps his 'special' CD under his keyboard. Th**** switched the CD for us."

Th**** was our hardware admin, he had access to all departments and systems.

"We bribed him with copy of the movie" said Lijo, happy as ever.

Ps: No confidential company owned intellectual property was harmed or destroyed in this process or during my stint with that company.

__________________________+

< CONVERSATION >

2009-11-30T17:22:00.004+05:30

Wiseone: SOrcy!! You didn't complete the diagram.Right?

Sorcy: Wow!!! You can see into the future.
____________________

Wiseone: The project manager screwed up.

Genius: So! You think you could do better.

Wiseone:Yes..

Wiseone:No.. Which side are you on?

____________________

Genius:Such things happen.. When life gives you lemon..

Sorcy: Bring out the vodka..

Wiseone: Lemon is on me.

____________________

Sh****: Wanna know something awesome........................

Sorcerer: Yeah

Sh****: ........................................................

Sorcerer: Suspense?

Sent at 4:16 PM on Monday

Sh****: ........................................................

Sorcerer:Temme quick or I am gonna call the Pcman.

____________________

Sorcerer: Where you goin dude?

Wiseone: Treasure hunt..

Sorcerer: Hmmmm?

Wiseone: A fuckin ATM which has cash.

Sorcerer: Let thy be our guiding light!

____________________

санжог: thank you only na (with a blond's enthu) they call it enthu around here for enthusiasm
and they say shoot emails

Sorcerer: Like....his enthu is low he needs viagra..

санжог/: and "for the same"

Sorcerer: lol

санжог: like... i am "shooting" this email "for the same"

__________________________+

< CRICKET >

2009-11-29T16:56:00.005+05:30

The first ball I bowled to him was ruthlessly hit to a boundary. Second ball was no different.

"What's your tactic SORCY!!!!" shouted my captain, who thinks he owned me or something.
"Well!!! I am trying to make him hit the ball to the pond" I reasoned.

Now, that would be a news for you.

In our part of the world, which is situated near a pond, separated by a low compound wall, any batsman who hit the ball to the pond will be declared "out" and also unceremoniously asked to fetch the ball.

So my ingenious tactic was to make the batsman over confident by giving loose balls and then making him hit the ball .."pluck" into the pond, and then shout "HOWZAAAAATTTTT".

No worries on that appeal. All you gonna get back is stares from your teammates and a deep sigh.

"Hey!! They just need 4 runs to win this game", Harish, a fielder shouted.

4 runs to win and 4 balls remaining. The game is at stake. Somewhere deep inside me, I felt like superman playing cricket to save the world from taking 4 runs.[ metaphor or simile..your call]

"Concentrate..Sorcy!!! Concentrate... " said my inner self.

..
..

I took my pace and I bowled the 3rd ball.

OUCH!!!

"Aaaawwwwwwwwwwww....."

The batsman twitched his body like a question mark (?)
..
..

"I didn't do that on purpose." I..I... Sorry buddy! The ball slipped out of my hands"
"Yeah! We know you didn't do that on purpose. We never seen you do a full length ball in our life, before." said the wise one.
"Sorcy, you really aimed for the middle stump." said another teammate to comfort the wounded or pounded by soothing words.

Let me tell you people, incidents like this are always hilarious, for the observer(s)
..
..

Now all the geniuses were brainstorming on "what must be done" to the patient.

"When we used to get hit on groin, we used to run around the ground and later it subsides."
testimonial by one genius.

We all looked at the genius. We are well aware that he being an engineering student, his tactics at his campus will entitle him for kicks/hits in the groins and he will have to run. That's completely different from this situation.

"Can you run?" asked genius.
All he got in response was 'puppy eyes'.
..
..

We called off the match and was taking our fallen comrade home.

Harish: Should we take him to the doc?

Genius: Yes!! We will know what they will do to him.

Batsman:NOOO!!! You all are going to leave me at my home, and not a word of it to my cousins.

Genius: oh!! So your cousin chicks are at your home? So what we gonna say if they ask.

Sorcy: We tell them its Tennis elbow syndrome. Its common in cricket and Sachin Tendulkar had that.

Harish: Sorcy! Batsman walk like a duck, and do you think they will believe it. Why not tell them the truth.

Batsman:Don't. Noone is going to tell them, I got hit on the balls. I will never hear the end of it.

[ Here there be silence ]

Harish: Sorcy!! Why you smiling at yourself. Did you do that on purpose?

Sorcy: No..I was..just thinking of something.

Genius:Like... Some stupid time when you got hit on the balls..wow!! those wonderful memories.

Sorcy: What does Santa and batsman now have in common?

Batsman:You people are really making me soo comfortable. I am so happy to have you people as my friends. Cut it short and tell the stupid answer Sorcy.

Sorcy: Red sack.

[ Let here be awesome laugh]
..
..

We reach batsman's home. His cousins were playing badminton. They stopped the game as they saw us.
Cousin 1: What happened?

Harish: Nothing, He slipped and fell. Nothing broken.

Genius:Hope so.

Batsman:See you people.Will catch up with you at Anil's place tonight.

The batsman moves limping, helped by his cousin.

Cousin 2:Tell me, What really happened?

Genius: Nothing..okay .. Just..Just give him a chair with hole in the middle to sit.

Cousin 2: Piles?

We was trying really hard not to laugh at my friend's sudden ingenious outbreak.

..
..

"What made you say that chair thing?" I asked the genius.
"It just occurred to me that, it would make him more comfortable.. to sit." replied genius in complete innocence.
__________________________+

< SOCIAL NOT WORKING >

2009-11-27T08:00:00.002+05:30

Social networking, the new buzz word over the connected world. This service provided by many .coms are used to help users meet new friends and maintain existing relationships.
That's enough intro technically.
I don't use many social networking sites. Only place I am active is over Orkut which is owned and operated by Google.
This is where we pwn noobs in communities.

Social networking site allow us to create a profile where we can yap about anything in the 'About Me:' section. This is where we advertise ourselves shamelessly to the world. Some dumbness or awesomeness [ stupidity lies in the eyes of beholder].

Ps: Some of these profiles are found by my inmates in TeaCeeEsh!
____________________

1)

About Me: Hi ! I m totally moody & foody .I live to eat.I njoy my life to the fullest . i love making freinds . open at ur own risk

and you ask..
"Open" What?
No thank you , I want to avoid communicative diseases.
____________________

2)

Downloading Data from ORKUT SERVER.
..... Please wait........
5%
10%
15%
20%
30%
40%
50%
75%
90%
95%
98%

Error...........The Name Entered Not Found In Human Data Base..
Suggested Search : Try "dude" in The Search Space For Better Result.....

and
This guy doesn't know that

DUDE means..HAIR ON ELEPHANTS BUTT
To give you an idea refer the image below

You still don't believe me right? read it here

____________________

3) This image is the contribution of 'ScarFace'. Thank you 'Scar Face'. [ Hope your scars get better]

1) "I am a kid, so Just don't argue!! Let the small kid win!!!

Shameless!! He is f[beepin] 17!! calls himself a small kid!! you should be illegally having beer by now.

2).at the end.. just the cute little next door kid!!Secret(If you want to know what cute really means..meet my dad's bf)

Cute lil KID!!! next door KID!!!..
Meeting your Dad's BF to know about your meaning of CUTE!.. EEYAA EEEYA NOOO!!!
Now we can guess about the Cute lil Kid Next door!

No!! Thank you! I have my own definition for cute.

3)Ps:Girls dont show my pic to your mom, She might have a crush on me.

Let's rephrase it.
Ps: Girls don't show my pic to your mom, she might crush me.
There ..that way it makes sense.

____________________

4)

Brilliance. That's all I can say, sheer unadulterated brilliance.Genius!!

____________________

There's a lot out there with ascii and stuffs in it. well!! I will post more of it as it comes. World is a beeeg space, so like some people's craniums.

__________________________+

< SEXY UNIX >

2009-11-26T08:00:00.000+05:30

There are some things which could really make you think in one of 'those' tangents, like if you hear a guy ask on phone..

"Is it up?"

well naturally, he is given a weird look or surprised look, depending on your orientation.

But

He could be a Computer Server administrator, asking his team member if the 'mail sever'( Mail Server not the Male Server) is up.

Also one of my friend got 'that' look from a person who over heard this conversation when he asked over phone, if it can be 'unzipped'.

Some of the unix commands are well, quiet 'those kind'.

Lets see

____________________

-Date-

Geek:Did you execute the date?

Geek[Thinking]: He must have fucked up the system dates.No wonder its all out of sync.

Observer[Thinking]: OOh!!! Hes asking someone about his 'sexucation' with his date? How Shameless!! Okay so, someone is on date.

____________________

-Unzip-

Geek: Can you unzip it?

Geek[Thinking] Hope the software is without error and unzippable.

Observer[Thinking]: WTF..Unzip?Now? in public? How Shameless!! Unzip on First Date?

____________________

-Touch-

Geek:Touch them.

Geek[Thinking]: No!!! The time stamp thing is messed up.The magic TOUCH can make the files alright.

Observer [Thinking]:Touch THEM? huh!! Touch What? Dont ever come near me with your dirty hands you evil person. Touching and clutching!!..On First Date!!

____________________

-Strip-

Geek:Strip it

Geek [Thinking]: Stripping will discard symbols from object files.

Observer[Thinking]:Is he gonna strip and God!! I gonna die laughing. God..please don't test me this way. Think about that poor girl on date. This is gonna be a memorable date for her.

____________________

-init-

Geek: check on init?

Geek[Thinking]: Lets kill those processes.

Observer[Thinking]: Haha.. They need someone to check if its 'in it'? I gonna present him with a tweezers and hand-lens on his next birthday.

____________________

-Uncompress-

Geek:Time to uncompress.

Geek[Thinking]: Uncompress the porn folder.wowwiee!!

Observer[Thinking]: Is he gonna fart? Is it some geek term for fart?Is that his surprise for the date.

____________________

-Finger-

Geek: Finger it will you?

Geek[Thinking]:That will get him the result of the login details.

Observer[Thinking]:Finger!! Did I hear FINGER?.They are moving too fast on a first date. huh!! Perverts.

____________________

-expand-

Geek:expand it dude.

Geek [Thinking]: That will convert tab to spaces.

Observer[Thinking]: First the Finger..Now the Expand "it". What is that guy, a freelance gynecologist?

____________________

-Mount-

Geek:Mount it now

Geek [Thinking] Mounting the CD drive is a heck of a job at times.

Observer[Thinking]: "Mounting it" now. Okay. So they are really 'doing' it. Sex?The way they are headed, there's gonna be lots of smoke and fire.

____________________

-fsck-

Geek:fsck it

Geek [Thinking] Fsck..I need to fuck repair the file system.

Observer[Thinking]: Illiterate retard. He don't know even the spelling of fuck.Still he has a date and he is getting laid. Why did I waste my time doing, MBA?

____________________

-unmount-

Geek:Unmount it, lets try it on something else.

Geek [Thinking]: Let us unmount the drive and mount it in some other system.

Observer[Thinking]: What are you, some kind of guru or something? You teaching him those Positions or something?

____________________

-Head-

Geek:Give it a Head?

Geek[ Thinking]: Lets put some server requests.

Observer[Thinking]: Give "it" a head, what is "it"? bloody perverts.

____________________

-Clean-

Geek: Better Clean it

Geek[ Thinking]: Need to make some space on my disk.

Observer[ Thinking]: Thank God!! Its over.. Geeks!! Do they even care to clean?

____________________

-Sleep-

Geek: try Sleep

Geek [ Thinking]: OKies Unix console. Bye bye see you tomorrow

Observer[ Thinking]: Okay Pervert!! Sleep and live your f[beep]in life in wet dreams.

____________________

Unix is a very interesting thing to learn. Don't you think?

__________________________+

< CONVERSATION CRUMBS >

2009-11-25T09:00:00.001+05:30

Guy1: wow! doood..look at that bus.I just feel like touching it.

*moves near the computer screen.

Sorcerer: Okay! did you hear the news that somebody like you was arrested for having sex with

a car or mailbox or something like that.

____________________

Sorcerer: Do you know that inverse of boob is poop?

Victim:huh!

Sorcerer: I may be bad with numbers, but I my friend is good with alphabets. b inverse is p.

Victim: does not work with capital letters.

Sorcerer: Go back to your stupid news paper.

____________________

Sorcerer: Hey!! What you think of this idea of levitation using human exhaust.

Mr Poo:Yeah, the idea of rocket humans using own biogas I had in mind too. But I have to disapoint you, this guy Chris Angel is using some tricks, its not real. I have seen a documentary about using fart as propellant ( I think the show is called Jackass and the scientist Steve O).The result was just burning Ass hair. No levitation.

Sorcerer: If this is possible..Game Over Airline Companies.. Muaahahahahaha!!

____________________

Darr***: I am a small talker.

Sent at 3:13 PM on Tuesday

Sorcerer: So you talk with font size 2?

____________________

Microphobia: Your fear, Her Frustration." - Sorcerer

__________________________+

< CHIN CHIN >

2009-11-23T14:30:00.007+05:30

You know those bad days, when there is nothing good on telivision. Ofcourse there are movies, but funny fact is that you could even remember the movie dialogues.

*sigh

The next entertainment is internet, the thing with limited bandwidth and unlimited entertainment. But since my buddy is busy torrenting some awesome movies, I am not allowed anywhere near it, a 10 feet square area in approximate terms.

*sigh

Why am I at this place?

Two simple reasons.

My buddy Sri, has his own theory on armegeddon and has kept packets and packets of potatoe chips and gallons and gallons of sprite.His home is an awesome place to chomp on potatoe chips and glug on sprite.

second reason is very simple, weekend is the only time when we people can get together.

"When you do good things in life, God gives you someone to bug when you are bored."- Sorcerer

Enter Raghu

Raghu:So Hows my new look?

Me & Sri: *Yawn

Raghu: I shaved off my beard and I kinda look.....

Sri:Weird

Me:Hey!! your chin ass is now exposed.[ Ref: Pic Below]

<--[This is Pic Below]

Raghu: WHAT?

Me: Chin ass or ass chin.I dont know how its called, but there is an ass on your face now and its showing.

Raghu: It is not chin ass. It is technically not called that way.It is called double chin.

Sri:NO!! Double chin is one behind the other.

Me:You mean a Gay chin?

Raghu:Its not double chin then.It is called something else.

Me: Lets google it up

Sri: You are not going anywhere near the computer SORCY!!

Me:Alright! You people want to live in ignorance, then let it be.

Raghu: My girl friend said its kinda cute .

Me: Now she has a reason when she calls you an "You ASS", cuz its on your face. One thing I liked about her is honesty.

Sri: May be its not chin ass, May be its chin valley

Me:Or Chin clevege. But..My friends I would go with the 'Chin Ass' word cuz that word suits it more.

Raghu:Weirdos.

__________________________+

< MY FIRST TIME >

2009-11-21T17:37:00.002+05:30

I don't know why I am writing this. I mean, it was a weird day. Woke up with a f[beep]ed up dream. Too many Hollywood late nights on TV.

You know at times, we get these flashbacks, like those seen in movies, with color and muted sound. Everything had started out as black and white. Somewhere it went blurry, the colors started to run, got smudged and gray. Faces and you start remembering them!

Certain incidents in life, good or bad, leave a scar on your soul. It's something like this, we try hard to get climb out of the hole and at an instant we just fall back. What do they call this? Genius of a hole!

____________________

I am going to tell you about my First Time.(Real incident) Yeah! most of the time you end up being f[beep]ed up. The pain comes after, if it was in a bus, like mine. [wink]. You never know what happens in a travel. Aint ya?

The bus had offloaded almost all passengers at the previous stop. Me and a "few" passengers have punched our ticket to the final leg.

We started our journey, for another 40 Kms to the final disembarkment point.

It happens so fast, technical term will be "a quickie?"

I was enjoyin the "ride”. It was real, Real good. We were almost there. It was awesome with fun music in the background.

Two Barrel rolls and then I hear scream and gasps..

Get out..Get out..NOW!!!!!

It's ..it's gonna...!!

Alright!! I have to move out!

Then...I moved out..and jumped outta the broken window.

That’s my first experience in a Bus accident.

Whenever they show such crashes in movies, the movie goes into a slow motion mode. I used to wonder why.

Yes! its something like that when you are in such situations from the first person perspective.

Time is relative to the observer. When you're in mess-ups like this, the time around you kinda freezes, you could see the glass pieces flying around, the sound of it breaking and the smell of gasoline in the air. Its as if your senses has attained a new clarity.

You wont feel pain. Your cuts would bleed but you would feel no pain. You get this sudden adrenalin rush to save your skin, which is holding you together. You suddenly become more powerful than you really are. You could lift anything off your feet to let it free and kicking.

When you are in the clear, you look back at the wreck. You are glad, you smile at it, which could well, have been your coffin.

Incidents like this in our life, brings a new vantage point into your life. Deep inside you, you feel more powerful. It teach you a bit more about life, which you forgot or never cared to learn.

I got out of my bed remembering these words "What doesn’t kill you, Make you strong."

__________________________+

< PWNED BY JAVA >

2009-11-17T15:28:00.004+05:30

A few days back I was surfing the folders on my cousins computer. All it takes is to store a file with sensible file names like 123.doc or sadf.doc in some unknown location and then conviniently forget the file name to get into the 'trendy'IT fashion thingy called 'Folder Browsing'.

My drill down on his computer turned up lots of things like acres and acres of mp3's and Dlls.

Yes..Almost 20 Gb of .dll files alone.I never knew windows operating had 20 GB of .dll files in it unless viruses call themselves .dlls.

This could be a ingenius way to cover up PORN files, like scientists always saying that the UFO is just a weather balloon zzzingin and blinging high up in the sky .

Guess what!! my analysis is never wrong. It was PORN movie files renamed to a .dll files to hide it from ”MY” prying eyes.

Poor fellow, he don't know this incident.

It was some years back. I was a student having my stint with JAVA. Axeman A.k.A Mr. Anoop was lecturing on JAVA applets on a fine morning, to a group of 20 students of which 15 of them were females

I was in need of a hot cup of JAVA and was staring at the monitor, my mind far..far...away,away. No delimiter can stop me from moving out of scope on my day dreams.

"As you can see on your monitor, we have embedded a .jpg file onto the browser via a Java applet". Axeman was raping our gray cells with stuffs.

Saying this he browsed for a .jpg file and added code to embed it onto the browser.

Let me tell you this too, we were using an WINDOWS NT Operating System.[ It runs a bit faster than old steam engine+it has new 'network neighborhood' icon]. With lots of loaded software+ Java getting compiled on it, the hard disk was swapping files like the couples during the 60's.

Axeman stood up from his chair. Like him, we too know that 'this embedding and linking' will take looottttsss of time and generate enough heat to boil a cup of java.

"AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! WHOAAAA!!!!!" The browser embedded this beautiful image of a naked chick for all of us to see and then the whole window FROZE, literally embedding it on the screen.

Axeman, ran back to the system and was trying to close the browser window, which resulted in a Frozen Mouse on frozen browser. Keyboard too joined the Frozen Orgy on this naked chick.

There was some serious initial inquiry done on this 'un acceptable' behaviour of 'certain' seniors, who were using the educational resources for their private perverted use.

404!culprit not found.

but

The investigation revealed acres and acres of .jpg files with their extension changed to .dll. and stored away in system folder+some sex 'education' videos too.[ Read:Porn]

Axeman, decided to make a software that could scan the computer and find all the image files(no matter what the format is).

AXEMAN's Image Finder was born.

He upgraded that to find videos and other things which we find interesting in computers.(no matter what the format is).

The third upgrade was a punch, it had a crawler that crawls the network and reported ‘stuffs’ which we find interesting.(no matter what the format is).

He had uploaded that software on the internet, and made it available for free downloads, for those lecturer’s who wanted to avoid such embarassing situation.

If you ever find this software over the internet, you can see the 'ABOUT US' section in which these golden words will be written.[ It does bling bling too]

"Dedicated to my students, who give me creative ideas to make new softwares."

When I narrated this incident to Sanju he said “ Porn is the mother of all invention”.

Gee!! I think he is right!!

__________________________+

< CONVERSATIONS >

2009-11-15T13:52:00.005+05:30

Lil conversation bits that made me laugh in November.

____________________

Gal: Fuck you

Geniass: :) Anytime.

____________________

*** Now talking in #cars

sorcerer: Ola!! Wassup dude

Trucky:FYI: Don't join #teens channel. Its full of 40 year old males pretending to be preteen girls. I nearly got raped by a 13 year old.

Sorcerer: LOL!!

____________________

Sorcerer: I would appreciate, if you could respond back quickly.

***ile: Shh... I am talking to a hot chick.

Sorcerer: In digital format?

****ile: Party pooper!!!

____________________

Guy 1: I have this feeling, she is fucking with my brain.

Sorcerer: Atleast someone is getting their share of fun.

Guy 1: What fun?

Sorcerer: I was not talking about you.

____________________

Dis******ed: 1

Dis******ed: 2

Dis******ed: 3

Dis******ed: 4

Dis******ed: 5

Dis******ed: 10

Sorcerer: Flooding will be fixed with Butt plugs.

____________________

Sorcerer: I wish computer monitors doubled up as webcams.Like 2 way communication I/O.

SAM:Why?

Sorcerer: If I want to give someone the finger its more easy.

SAM: that would be very innovative.we can make a monitor

that has a camera inside the screen so when you chat with somebody and look at them

they'll think you're looking at them too

Sorcerer: Yes and then we can catch them do someone embarrassing.

SAM: eh?

Sorcerer: someTHING embarrassing..

____________________

Guy[on phone]: Listen...

[His girl friend hung up on him]

: : Let here be silence : :

Sorcerer: err...

Guy1: move .. This is it..I am not going to take it any more. Either my game CD's or her. Let me mail her my ultimatum.

Sorcerer:Good Luck!!

Guy1:Nothing will stop me.not even those emotional blackmails or those looks from saying what i wanna type

: : Guy1 takes the browser and is online : :

: : t= t+3 [ t being the time] : :

Guy1: Everybody..everybody is out to get me..Even the internet hung up on me. F[beep].

__________________________+

< FRIDAY THE 13th >

2009-11-13T13:42:00.004+05:30

This is happening as I am typing it.

I am at this internet cafe, to check my email and things as the broad band conked. Am I surprised? Today is Friday the 13^th. Such things are supposed to happen.

I walk in to this cafe. Give my name and phone number.

Now those who are wondering, why I gave these information. It’s a mandatory practice to prove that I am NOT a terrorist and I won’t be in the future cuz they have my name and phone number also the cyber Crime Investigation Cell will be after me if I screw up something like sending hate emails and crap shit blah blah bloop.

All the cubicles with the computers in that internet cafe are numbered. He points to cubicle number 3 and says "You can use that one."

Irrespective of the fact that it was Friday the 13^th, the cubicle given to me was placed between 2 and 4 (for mathematically acute) which had beautiful chicks, browsing the internet.

When I say beautiful, I mean H.O.T and Awesome ... I don’t want to make this write-up an erotica.

OOOOH!!!! NOO!!!!

The keyboard I was using is not having the space bar. No space means No 'PLUCK' sound.

Yes!!! There was a void () in the place of space bar. NO key. NOTHING, NADA, ZILCH,

I looked to my left, No issues for them.

I looked to my right, No issues for them.

That means, I am the only one with a keyboard without SPACE BAR.

Friday the 13^thSTRIKES!!!

I stood up.

I wanted to lift the keyboard and show him that the keyboard has no space bar. But the darn thing's cable was stuck somewhere and I could not pull it up.

The internet cafe guy saw me standing up and called out to me "PUT YOUR FINGER."

I was like..."errrrrr...."

To prove my innocence on this standing issue, I used my amazing ability to put words in action (Yes!! I am a man of few words; and it’s not because of lack of vocabulary but It's recommended by my doctor).

With my actions I asked him “You Mean!! Press inside the hole on the keyboard?”

Notice this point that I used my MIDDLE finger to affirm that ‘PRESS’ part, which I later realized was the most dumb (read: Awesome) thing to do.

Every eye was on me. The girls in the next cubicle was whispering something and giggling. They must have missed this part that I am a guy and I prefer to use that long key.

Yes and

“I AM NOT A FREELANCE GYNECOLOGIST to put finger in every hole.”- Sorcerer

What he meant was to put finger inside the slot where space bar was supposed to make contact and press it.

IDIOT Cafe guy. He should know that certain usages have many meanings in this modern world.

I am taking my revenge. I am composing this blog post on the 13^th Friday, from the same internet cafe, putting my finger in the key slot of this damaged keyboard, when I want to type space and posting it from the same cafe that embarrassed me.

Friday the 13^th worked its black magic on me. How was it for you?

__________________________+

< TYPOS >

2009-11-11T12:00:00.006+05:30

Typos,

The keys on the keyboard are so cluttered together, and this happens. I thought I would share some typo thingy happened to me with my awesome readers.

I was posting some comment in a blog i read yesterday where the blog had some funny pics.

I wanted to say "Thanks for sharing" and look what I typed and posted.

*Phew

Thanks for the delete option.

____________________

My friend, had some issues with his internet connectivity on his computer and I was called to check on that.

I opened the browser to check if my awesome trouble shooting worked!.

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw "debooooooo.com" on the browser history list.

[ That could be so frustrating if you don't know the right URL and you try all the different combinations.] I think, may be his younger brother who is doing his schooling did this little adventure on the computer when his bro was away.

__________________________+

< A LETTER >

2009-11-08T16:15:00.002+05:30

Dear Creep

That’s one adjective bestowed upon you by me and my friends. You totally take pride in making people scream out loud by your antics.

The way we met was totally different. Remember that day, 10 years back when I got a call from an unlisted number.

I still remember the conversation.

Me: Hello

You: ARRRRGGHHH!! Where are you?

Me: Who is this?

You: Aha!!! Who am I? I am waiting for you here with your documents you @&(^@#&@.

Me: errr... Check the numbers before you dial again you creep.

[Pause]

You: Gee... *gulp, I am sorry, You end with 69. I am sorry

Me: WHAT?

You: Sorry again, my friend's number ends up with 96.

Me: Hahahahahaha!!

[Pause]

Me: Hello, you there?

You: Hahahahahaha!!!

Then after that I got around 10 or more texts on my cell phone apologizing for your dumb conversation.

That was the beginning of our friendship. Something in the lines of the conversation made some kind of connection between us.

As time moved by we became good friends, best friends. I would say you are the only person who knew a lot about me.

We never found it difficult to say anything to you, and you always sit with that crooked smile, listening to everyone, stacking it away, sealed forever. You took care to see that your conversation never linked to our sad moments. You are a guy with an awesome sense of humor. All those stupid text messages you send us every day in the morning, woke us out of the bed with a smile, sometimes with huge laughs. oohh..I forgot you never forgot any of our birthdays. You were the first one to wish us no matter what.

I loved your never 'giving up the chase' attitude dude. You always put others first in your priority list. It requires guts. Seriously a lot of gut than what people thinks about it.

This incident still surprises me. That day when I was sick and was unable to travel to receive a foreign delegate you personally volunteered on behalf of me and went to receive him. See, that day you had just recovered from fever. You were so confident in whatever you do. You never said anything. You went ahead, you did it. Wow!

Your 'Project Catherine' was quiet famous in our friend circle. Dude!! that days was awesome.

Whenever we meet up, we used to laugh for hours. You come up with all those insane stories and your adventure stories on your motor-bike. (You were married to it!). I think the toughest thing to do on this planet is to put a genuine smile on someone else face. You do that with ease.

Hey!! that was a fine evening of November.The beautiful clouds ornamented the sky in it's bronze and gold.

You know we used to talk a lot whenever we meet. But that day, you came to meet me. Something was bothering us both. We stood there.

You denied the offer for a coffee. Of course, I felt a pang in the heart when you left. Something was not right.

When I didn’t hear from you after that day, I tried to drive away those not so good thoughts which was gnawing at my heals.

Nobody knew that you could never take our calls again.

Nobody knew that you would walk out of our life in this painful way.

I believe souls have a way of whispering to those that they care for.

Hey Creep!! Want to ask you something.

Was that you who gave me a call, I didn’t know that it was you or some paranoid illusion.

I was in my bed and was tired after a long days work. I got a call from your number, or was it just another dream?

And you asked me what was in the cup on the table!! My mom had kept tea on the table. I didn’t even know it was there cuz I was fast asleep.

I still remember that conversation we had, cuz, you were asking me about something on my table that I didn't know was there.

Oh yeah, I wouldn't call you creep anymore, err..I think I can call you Casper or something. You sure were balding out a lil.

Your phone was lost in that accident. Nobody else had our phone numbers or ID's to get in touch with us, to let us know that you had...

Manu told me later that you were on your way to collect the passport of your buddy’s sister and you met up with the accident.

You were assuring him that, you are alright when you were actually not, while being taken to hospital. That was sheer guts to smile at the

doctor, dig out the passport from the pockets of your pants and give it to Manu, and say " Give it to her, Keep it safe," give them all a big smile and then move out into the world of the unknown.

I still have your phone number in my old phone. Never felt like deleting it from the contact list.

It is odd, I know, cuz I am talking to you dead. My comrade, it is easier to talk to dead than many people I know who are well alive. Ironical, isn’t it?Trust me man, it is true.

When we gear up for the adventures without you in the caves or on the hills, someone will always comment that 'he is watchin our 6, why worry!!'

November, was when you were born, November was when you left. Winter always come cold and gray. Ain’t it? When the winter dawns, the cold old memories, somehow gets reenacted without any warning. They should be hibernating during the winters. Right?

I can imagine what kind of smart ass comment you would put down here.

Yeah and as usual, my Mom says "Hi".

Regards,

Sorcerer

__________________________+

< FUND RAISING >

2009-11-06T12:02:00.000+05:30

College is a social setting, where we learn the complexities of life for free. - Sorcerer

Ps: No sentiments were hurt in the making of this episode.

____________________

We all decided to celebrate the ONAM.( An awesome festival in Kerala.) This is the celebration in which we Keralites(Also called Mallus) make floral designs with flowers in front of the home and long queues in front of beverage corporation.

[Floral Design] , [ Long Queue]

We people thought of celebrating it our way. We got together at one of our buddies home and thought of cooking our own food and accessory foods.'[ Food that goes with main food() ] This is where the butterfly effect began to take shape.

Harish was in charge of making 'Payasam'( A sweet drinkable non alcoholic thing).

He was busy multi-tasking between 2 dishes he was making. Some unexplainable phenomenon made the 'sweet drinkable non alcoholic thingy' slip and fall.

Don't worry! Nothing happened to me. [Thank you for your concern!! :) ]

I was away, in the bath. Taking a shower after a steamy affair. [In the kitchen it is always a steamy affair.] and I am unable to say how it happened, cuz I didn't see it.

Anyway I am short of words to explain this unfortunate incident that happened to a best buddy. He was burned, badly, but he insists it’s not so bad.

At The Campus:

Harish, was sitting under a beautiful tree, trying to forget the unfortunate incident which happened to him last day. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He wanted peace.

We were sitting a few meters away from him. The awesome Onam celebration was real costly celebration and we were all broke.

Most of the funding for our Co-Curricular activities didn’t come from our home, but was raised from the campus itself. Mostly, fund raising happens for cricket matches that never happened, or football teams that never played but lost.

[ No!!! Don't give me that look. This is how we all get seasoned by life.pish pish pish!!! ]

One of them in our group had an idea. Everyone opposed this awesome Idea at first, including my conscious, but soon thinking about the potential in that idea everyone agreed.

We: Hey! Harish, We want to ask you something.

Harish: I am not coming anywhere. I am sitting here..Right Here!!

We all understood the hostile tone in the voice. The first stage was a success.

Harish was a good guy, helpful; everybody loves him, including girls in the campus.

The 'Save Harish' campaign was stealthily in progress at the campus. The target audience of this campaign was the 'girls' of course.

Why girls?

They have 50, 100, 500, 1000 Indian Rupee notes. Guys have 5, 10, Rs notes. They always keep denominations or are broke.

Correct Timing:

Its the first day after Onam Holidays. So every one (especially girls)comes from home with cash given to them by unkils(read: Uncles) and aunts, elder cousins, NRI relatives etc.

How stealth works:

"You don't want to hurt Harish's sentiments. Do ya?” This simple statement will allow us to leave a very tiny heat signature on their radar and help the campaigners to work in stealth before blowing our cover or as the pilots call it 'Getting painted'.

Anyway!

We were able to raise a good 'fund'.

You may ask me will it work? Trust me. It will

Due to the prying eyes of the Income Tax Department, I won’t be saying how much amount we raised. Not much but it was sufficient to keep us all going for a month.

After 2 hours or so, we were back with him, under the beautiful tree. There he was sitting alone.

We went near him. Gives him the Pepsi we brought for him.

He sniffs the air.

Harish: You all went and had Chicken Biryani?

We:hmmmm.....

Harish: Is that why you called me before you left?

We: errr...Hmm.....

Harish: You people didn’t tell me you were going for food.

Lijo: How can we tell you? We raised the fund in your name.

Harish: WHAT?

[Let here be silence]

We: hmm... but we brought you Pepsi. It is full of vitamins. You will get well soon.

Does this come under survival skill? I don't know.

I won't be surprised if anyone in our close friends group becomes a politician in the future.

At times I do think , isn’t this the way how the world work these days?

__________________________+

< SNIPPETS >

2009-11-05T11:58:00.000+05:30

Some Conversations to begin the month with.

____________________

Sorcerer:Hey!! I made a new mathematical equation.

Supriya: cool.

Sorcerer: Its complicated. You can apply that equation to a person's mobile number and find out, how long that person will live on this planet.

Supriya: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice try!!

Sorcerer: Ouch!!! This will go down in the history books as Sorcerer's Equation#834983443Ab

____________________

E&EBozo is an Electrical&Electronics guy!

E&EBozo: Hey!! Help me with something.

Geniass:Ohkay!! Tell me what ya want? Am I surprised?

E&EBozo:There is this Chick in my class, I am planning to hit on, Need a cheesy line for text message.

Geniass:(*closes eyes ,in contemplation.) Tell me about her.

E&EBozo: She is cute. She is voluptous.She is genius.

Geniass: Hmm....Genius according to you, right?

E&EBozo:Are you gonna help me or not?

Geniass:Text her "For your headlights, I am the Thomas Edison of love. Come into my life and take away the darkness."

E&EBozo: :|

____________________

never disappoints me.

Sorcerer: Hey fellas.. whats you talkin about?

Win:aah. we were talkin about cancer and things and now its just the boobs. That is more interesting.

Sorcerer:(.)(.) s.Hmm..?.

Win:I want those bigger.

Sorcerer: [big](.)(.)[/big].. There you go!!

Win:LOL

__________________________+

< VIDEO TAPE PLAYER>

2009-10-30T13:49:00.000+05:30

It is an incident that happened some years back. That was when we had the VCR and VCP dominating the television era. That bulky dinosaur machinery is now replaced by iPod and CD players.

Why Am I telling you this?

Because this incident revolves around that prehistoric anomaly.

Arshad was our neighbor. Good guy, extra clean attitude, extra decent, silent. He is the favorite guy for all on our block. Girls run out of adjectives when they describe him. Above all he is a God fearing guy.

When we get kicked by my best buddy’s sister, she always ends her statements saying “Look at Arshad, Such a nice guy, unlike you morons. Guys should be like that. Learn from him.”

We don’t have any regrets. We are rebels and we are shamelessly proud of it. We shout, we do all nonsense things. BEEG DEAL if the other earthlings cannot take it.

One evening, we get a call from Arshad’s sister.

“Hey! We want to watch a video. Arshad is not here. Can you help us operate this stuff?”

“Errr…yeah!!”

My friend hung up the call.

“Its is her. She wants some help with the video tape player. Thank God for too many buttons on the remote control.”

“Yeah!”

As you have guessed, we never miss an opportunity to help a human in need,contrary to the popular belief that is.

We went to Arshad’s home.

The home was fully packed with females. His cousins, his aunts, his grannies, small kids, and toddlers, also some chicks from our neighborhood everybody was there at his home. If he runs for an election, he sure will win.

We kinda felt like ‘errrrrr….’ When we entered the room.

“Arshad is not here. And this tape has the recording of our relative’s wedding ceremony. So we want to watch it.”

She handed the tape to my friend.

The technical persons,(Me and My friend) was in the spotlight.

You ever had that feeling, you are being watched. We had such a feeling then.

He pushed the tape in. It’s supposed to be ‘AUTOMATIC’ (SARCASM!! Thinking about today.)

NOTHING!!!

We with our awesome analytical skill found that the tape player is not connected to the television.

We set everything right and pushed the tape in again

Well!! All we could see was some faces with lots of out of focus pixels(Grains!! They call that in old days) accompanied by eerie music.

“Need to open it up and clean the tape head.” DECLARED my friend.

Arshad’s sister got us a screw driver. We opened it and cleaned the tape head with a piece of newspaper. (Wipe dirt with dirt and viola!!! It goes)

“Do you have any other tape? Can’t risk putting this video tape again. Just need to make sure that the tape head is clean.” That was an intelligent suggestion from my friend.

‘hmm….Let me check.” Said Arshad’s sister,

“Hey!! Arshad bro has got a tape in his cupboard” declared a sweet little voice. “I will go and get it.” This little girl said that and ran upstairs.

The little girl returned with a tape in her hand.

My friend looked at the unmarked tape. He pushed the video tape into the player. He was busy putting back the screws on to the player and those screws slipped and rolled under the television stand. Me and my buddy got to the task of pickin the dark lil screws from the dark granite floor.

We stood up after getting those screws and ta…daaaa!!! The room was empty. Everyone was gone. There was no one in that room. We looked at the TV Screen.

Ayayayay!!!! There was this naked man doing nasty (read: awesome) things to this naked woman. Ayayayay!!!

Someone was getting screwed while we were searching for the screws. Did you notice Irony surrounding that statement?

We switched off the television. Took the video tape back and switched off the video player.

“errr…. Should we tell them we are leaving?” I asked my friend.

“err…We are leaving.” We called out into the void room ()

We walked with our heads down till we were in clear. Actually we were hiding the huge grin on our face thinking about the aftermath of this situation, contrary to the onlookers belief that we hung our head for being in that embarassing situation.

“Arshad is gonna get screwed today. Aint it?” I asked my friend

We both nodded our head.

“Did you hear that CRASH after we left?” My friend asked me.

“That could be the tape getting floored.” I replied.

Rebels scored another point!!

__________________________+

< CONVERSATION >

2009-10-30T13:11:00.000+05:30

Another conversation post to end the month with

Sorcerer:Go ahead, I am listening.

DocChick:We were given a frog,for the experiment.

Sorcerer:hmm..

DocChick:Then we bang it on the desk.

Sorcerer:Poor frog, You BANG it?You said "WE" and is it an orgy kinda thingy?Frog Orgy! You got a video of it or something?

DocChick:Huh!!Its to shock it. Kinda like that.

Sorcerer:Is that what you are taught to do, whe

n you run out of local anasthesia?

DocChick:I would be glad to do that to you.

Sorcerer:Bang me, Bang me Bang me Bang me..*Droool

DocChick:I will never talk to you again.

____________________

Sorcerer:Hey! Nice pic. Whose that guy standing next to you?

M**i*a: errr..thats my boyfriend.

Sorcerer: *Sighs

M**i*a:Why?

Sorcerer:You have 8 cousins+1 Fighter Pilot dad, I was plotting to abduct you.I need to redraw my plans.

M**i*a:I forgot to tell you, my boy friend is a boxer¹.

Sorcerer: I will take care of that with biscuits.

M**i*a: What?

Sorcerer:*Tries hard to not to laugh.

M**i*a:What?

Sorcerer:Ha ha ha ha

M**i*a:What?

_____

For those who is still wondering "WHAT?"

*^{1::Boxer according to me}

____________________

Sorcerer:I got laid!!

Sanju:From who?

Sorcerer:My client. Ya know G******.

Sanju:Congrats.You will, You are earning in doooolars now.

Sorcerer: Yes!!She transfered it to my account.

Sanju:What?

Sorcerer:Oops!! PAID..not LAID!!

____________________

Girl;I am a bi

Sorcerer:hmm...So How will someone know in which mode you are, like in you change color?

Girl:Mostly on weekends I am a lesbian.

Sorcerer:So you are like a part time lesbian. Wow!! Its Sunday today.

Girl:Its Saturday over here.

Sorcerer:* Oops!!Crashed and burned.

Girl:lol

__________________________+