Saturday, September 25, 2010


I thought I would start a new series "Awesome Photo" series on my blog featuring awesoming photos which is plucked and packaged at the source and 100% natural just like the boogers.



I was gazin out at the sky through my bedroom window, and I this awesome cloud formation which was shaped like a shoes! [Thanks Sanju for giving me clues on how it looks like.]
But I think its shaped kinda like a heart as seen in some movies made my Dream Works or.a floating Latino...bum bum upside down without the Latino!!.



Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste


Thursday, September 23, 2010


Been long time I updated the 'For Dummies' . The last series was posted way back on when I don't remember. Anyway here comes another "Sorcy's Fables- Simplified for dummies" - 7-The series of 'revealing' truths about life.


For the past few days he was busy coding a software.The challenge was to make the Software 'Blonde Compatible'; that means a software which is simple to use with pink interface.Being in the profession for long, this project was demanding way too much from him.
He fed the source-code into the computer for compiling and sat back in his chair,lost in thoughts, scratched his stubbled chin, giving his balls a vacation for some time.

The whole world around him was silent,except for the melodious voice of a female singing an old romantic song, filled the air which was already half filled with smell of left over pizza, beer and body odour.

Minutes passed by and his program has managed to crash his computer announcing that, the software he is working on is now WINDOWS COMPATIBLE.
He gave a wide grin and reached down at the button to restart his computer.
He stopped.Something was bothering him at the back of his mind, like a horny guy behind the cute chick in a public transport.
Being so occupied with the work, he had almost forgotten about her.The very thought of her made him stand erect....from his chair of course.
"How could he ignore her for so long", a guilt took him over like teenager getting drunk for the first time.

He made his way towards her  virtually humping the air with the rhythm of the music.She was waiting for him.Many had come into his life and had left; but somewhere inside he had this feeling that she is gonna stay.
He gave her a big grin.She knew how that smile's gonna end!!

He was hungry,hungry for what she had in store for him..all he could think of was her and all those moments when he had tasted her awesomness.He never had enough of her,not even the last night when he over did her to a point of break down.He loved her and he couldn't stop himself yet again this morning,like he couldn't ever since she came into his life two months back.She was to him, what a 16 year old boys first porn magazine is to him.

He went up to her slowly,that's probably the only thing that he does to her, 'slowly'!!...and held her gently.
He just knew perfectly how to turn her on.He felt her smooth body ...too late she could never say no to him..She was turned on by his touch.

He made his way between her curves,and slowly reached the place he was looking for he could feel her anticipation..she was kinda warm,and she was yearning for him,he saw that she was ready.He slowly pushed it in.

He felt a shock pass through him.
She was franctically maoning....then he could smell something not very pleasant and to his shock realised she was on fire...
She was not in her senses and he didn't realise it....but then he noticed it..he saw the spark of fire literally...or the word literally was used in the wrong context.

He touched her and.... burned his fingers..
He couldn't decide...Vaseline or saliva or fire extinguisher.
But..It was too late..Thick smoke came out of her.. he coughed...and his eyes burned because of the smoke. He ran out!!

The next days news paper headlines read "House burned down by toaster".


The moral of the story is Never screw a toaster or a woman too much, as both can bring down the house.




    "UNIX is an operating system, OS/2 is half an operating system, Windows is a shell, and DOS is a boot partition virus."

    Saturday, September 18, 2010


    Kab:..and then she wrote me a poem.

    Sorcerer:wow! thats something.

    Kab:and the lines goes something like this."You lift me from the sea and together we make rain.."

    Sorcerer:Hmm...Wow! Freaking water cycle!!

    Kab:Dude! that was what crossed my mind too.

    Sorcerer:Ya know..a better mental image would lifting her from the sea and giving  her a C.P.R.

    Kab:Yeah I know..Never date a science major!

    Genius:After getting his new bike, your boy friend is kinda like a Duracell Bunny..H.Y.P.E.R!!!

    Berry:No..He is not a Duracell Bunny.

    Sorcerer:Yeah..rrrrright..."They last long...really long"..Ain't it?


    n00b:What the heck!!You people banned me again?

    Mod:Hey kid! Listen, spamming is like throwing plastic in the open.Got it?

    "Internet taught me that BDSM is not short for Buddhism"-Sorcerer on Internet Lingo


    Shirtless_Guy:Ya know, I gave my girl friend a screw driver as Birthday present.

    Sorcerer:Aha! Soo symbolic.

    Shirtless_Guy:I have my way of saying things.

    Sorcerer:Let's hope she doesn't give you back a nut-cracker on your birthday.

    Genius:Don't browse p0rn on my machine.

    Wise_Guy:Was just testing the efficiency of your anti-virus software.


    Wise_guy: Need to buy a man-bag.

    Genius:Don't you already have one..We call em 'sack'.



    “May the source be with you.”

    Tuesday, September 14, 2010


    "So, this would be a competition between boys and girls. Which ever team puts out the best act will get a surprise gift. Then for the final act for the big day, we will choose the actors from both the group accordingly." said our faculty for English language.
    "Any questions?" He paused.

    Everyone in the class gave each others a questioning look.

    "We would go for a coin toss to see , which team gets to present their Drama first, on Friday." he said, taking a coin from his pocket.

    "Heads for the girls and tails for the guys" [ I know..technically it would sound proper if the 'head' was given to the boys]

    He flipped the coin. The coin flipped in the air as a flipped coin should.It landed face down exposing the tail, sealing our(Boys Teams)fate on its arse.

    "Well! The boys will present their drama on Friday and girls team's will follow the next day".

    The class came to a grinding halt, with we boys grinding our teeth at the coin.

    5 days was lying ahead of us to prepare for the drama, make it perfect and win the surprise gift.Many hours which should be spent running aimlessly behind a foot ball was spend on perfecting the dialogue delivery.

    The boys team lead,Mr.Blessed [This guy is blessed by God in multitude of skills, that include seeing in the dark] was having a tough time shaping up the actors to bring out the 'characters' alive in them. Most of the time the dialogue delivery resembled a bad case of enema,which could only be stopped by a rubber cork.

    The 'Surprise Gift' was the 'thing' that was at the back of everybody mind, which gave them the patience to put up with the near 'suicidal tendencies' of Mr.Blessed Guy.
    Ya in Circus, the clowns are allowed to beat macho guys, just to make people laugh. I mean the Macho guys can really squish the clown with his thumb, but won't do it.cuz ya know.."It's all for the show"

    Well..The whole practice session resembled a circus during it's recess.

    "You...You..YOU ARE OVERACTING" snorted Mr.Blessed to a macho footballer in our drama group, who was playing the part of a woman who had lost her husband.
    "You are supposed to SOB ..SoB NOT bellow like a mating warthog." Mr.Blessed corrected the over dramatic situation, explaining in layman's terms how it should be 'performed.'

    This 'mating cry' as our beloved Drama Team Lead had put it; was the last part of drama, where the lead woman in the drama cries over something.[Naa..not over spilt milk .Anyway.I really forgot the story line.I don't really remember why the woman cries, be it over happiness or sadness.]


    The macho footballer, who played the 'Woman Character' was my wing man in class.So I thought I would give him some advice on acting, just to get his acts right.

    "Dude!!! Think of a sad incident, that happened in your life, when you play that part..and you will get absorbed by it and you will automatically cry with tears and all"
    "Like what?" He replied, just like a dumb footballer should.
    "Err...Like..remember you got hit on your pee-pee, with football and you were doing that earthworm dance lying in that mud.I mean..situation like that..which pains you the most..." I stopped to look at his face.
    Gwad!! Instead of sadness in those eyes, I saw rage and anger.His cheeks had metamorphed into butt cheeks of a baboon.
    I felt thirsty after a long talk and quickened my way towards the water dispenser.

    Finally, the world woke up to Friday.I tried to remember the 'script' which my character has to play,as I chomped on my breakfast.The breaksfast table was unusually silent.Mom actually asked me if I was feeling alright, healthwise.

    "Ahem... ahem." That was my dialogue.
    I enter the stage..Bow in another character..then I Exit the stage, closing the door behind.That was my character's role
    Gwad!! Too much thing to execute with precision in too little time.I had to make use of the single dialogue I have to say and make a dent in the aura of the audience.
    "Ahem ahem..Here I cahem"
    I met the 'Footballer guy' [Who plays woman character], as I neared our school gate.He had an unusual grin on his face.Confidence was written all over his white and navy blue uniform.
    He was having that evil grin on his face, when we were practicing it one last time, before the original act.

    "BRACE... BRACE... BRACE" shouted the naval commander inside me.
    The drama started in front of a full audience.Most of the scenes went without a hitch.Personally, I felt the "ahem ahem" was delivered to the full impact of EUREKA EUREKA!

    It was the closing scene,where the footballer has to cry and capture the audience inside the tissue paper.Everyone was busy watching the verbal debate between two other characters on the stage.The Foot baller was nearing the 'P.O.C'[Point of Crying].The hands of the footballer was busy fumbling with something behind his back.NOPE!! It's not a severe case of worms..even though to any person in the audience would feel so.

    Suddenly a small vial  of vicks-vaporub, fell on to the stage and started  rolling towards the audience.
    Well!! Well!! Well!! To make the scene more authentic, the footballer was trying to apply vicks vaporub in his eyes-for the tears..for the tears...

    Unfortunately while pulling the cap open the vial slipped out of his hands!!

    Rest, my dear can imagine.It took quiet a while for the classroom to become silent.

    The boys team did manage to make otherwise a sad ending to a really hilarious ending.
    Who wouldn't love happy endings!!

    The next day..It was the girls team. to perform the Drama We all sat with a sigh, praying to the Gods inside the Volcano.

    The closing Scene:
    Two characters having a verbal debate on the stage.
    The Girl who was playing the 'Lead Woman character' in the drama was cying..laughing...crying...laughing..
    She was not opening her eyes!!She had to bade good bye to another character who was leaving the stage.
    NOOOO!! She was not even looking at that character.She was standing with her eyes cupped with her hands, producing  a constant weeping sound as that of an U.P.S unit during power failure[U.P.S=Uninterupted Power Supply] the foot ball guy, she was trying to apply something more 'wickid' to make the scene more authentic with tears and all.
    Later our investigation revealed that:She chose 'tiger balm' because, it has a cap which is 'twist open'  type.So no slipping out of hands.'

    Their drama ended on the lines of Mahabharatha [ Her acting reminded me of the character Kunthi, in Ramayana]


    Anyway, both the teams screwed up the most touching part and turning it into the
    height of awesomeness.

    An adventure with my wingman


    Tuesday, September 7, 2010


    If only the chairs we were sitting on was modelled as bucket seats, thought me, sitting in the back bench, trying to find a better butt position to go back to the deep meditation also called as an afternoon nap.
    The Hindi class was at full swing.Some guy had managed to write a poem and our class was trying hard to find out all possible meaning for every word , featuring all emo points in that poem.

    It was not interesting as it was not really rhyming. According to my unwritten rule which I believed those days.. "A poem has to rhyme else it becomes a fat chick on prom night."

    The lack of rhyme factor in the poem was seriously interrupting my sleeping pattern.The occasional high pitched shrieks of excited geniuses doing autopsy on the helpless poem was tickling my sleep nerve.

    The guy was sitting near me was at his creative best that afternoon and was drawing stick figures getting abducted by stick figures from outer space.
    Being a backbencher has its occupational challenges. I was fighting gravity to keep my eyelids up. The eye lids were falling down at a rate more than the 'g' rate I was taught in class.Its a biological challenge to keep the mouth closed and eyes open in such classes
    A backbencher is the usual suspect if a paper plane makes an unauthorised landing at the 'erogenous zone'of the class.[The zone where females sit together in the class].
    The whole of the last bench was silent like a baby on a pacifier.Heavy lunch to blame.

    That was when I fell of the dinosaur!!!.
    It was a beautiful dream.*sigh

    The unusual silence emitting out of the last bench, had aroused the suspicion of the teacher.She must have thought that we were actually listening to her lecture and was ready to answer some random questions about the gang banged poem..Since I was busy riding a dinosaur with a hot dumb blonde whom even blind person could see, I did't get the chance to perform an evasive manoeuvre from the question.

    I stood up, gave my version of understanding about the poem which was quiet entertaining["It's the dumbest thing I have ever heard"-That's what I read on my teacher's face].
    Since I had managed to give a wonderful answer, the teacher passed the question to the stick figure guy.If it was an objective type question he would have said "Same as above",pointing at me.

    Anyway, the class ended ,the teacher bestowing on us both backbenchers the honor of writing the 'stupid poem' 100 times.


    We forgot all about the '100 times' thingy as soon as the class got over.

    "In school life, its real mess when the teacher remembers what what we forgot"-Sorcerer on School Life

    The interrogation began and the teacher somehow was not ready to buy the simple biological theory that "Humans tend to forget."
    The teacher stood her ground biased on her theory "How can you forget?"
    Well!!School teaches life and prepares a man to face life
    A man hears the following lines in his life time

    1)How can you forget to write it 100 times ?
    2)How can you forget my Birthday?
    3)How can you forget the anniversary?
    4)How can you forget the kid back at the grocery store?

    So, I passed her question with a pleasant smile, which was what a man is supposed to do when he hears the HOW CAN question.

    Just like the court doubling the sentence for prisoners, our teacher doubled our 100 writing thing to 200.
    We would have bargained if she was in her good mood; the class resembled a flea market though.
    "if you are not doing it by tomorrow..You will go meet the principal."

    We couldn't help but agree. We nodded our heads.

    The next day, I was so occupied with awesome thoughts like.
    1)How does gravity taste like?
    2)Are space cows real?
    3)What is happening to the world in which we are living in.Can't a chicken cross the road without its motives being questioned?
    4)What's for dinner?
    5)Will it be possible to see own arse if we run around a tree at speed of light?

    and as usual..didn't quiet get my conclusions on most of the questions and forgot to write the 200 times thingy.
    Such deep and profound thoughts eat me from the inside like a biscuit packet eaten by ants!

    By the time it occurred to us[ about the 200 times *sigh thing], 't' as in time way past the point of no return.The lunch break was almost drawing to its conclusion. Mathematically, even if we write a word a second it was impossible to finish off the punishment on time.
    Both the geniasses [Me and my fellow inmate] got together.

    "Can we run off?"
    "Nope..will be caught and hanged next day.

    "Plead for mercy?"
    "Mercy Killing would be a good option"

    It was the season of Conjunctivitis and none of us managed to get infected.

    My friend was playing with a small bottle of Eucalyptus oil !!

    TWOINNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!..TWOINNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!..TWOINNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!..TWOINNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!. [The sound of idea striking the empty cranium and echoing]

    We both ran outside..Applied a small drop of eucalyptus oil in the eyes.
    It really started freaking stinging..!!"
    Washed the face with water..and viola!!
    Red eyes a.k.a Eyes that look similar to conjunctivitis infection.

    Yes!! Applied Chemistry at large! We had found an effective solution for the Fcuk up of the day!

    Went back to the class.Took our seats.The seats of highest order!!!. Sat with eyes cupped. The curious onlookers were amazed at how quick the eyes can be infected.
    [Poor sods]

    The Teacher came in.
    We were lying down with head resting on the table.

    She Came near us! [She must have made up her mind on all those evil things she was gonna say to us!!!]

    "You both!! What happened?"- The teacher asked
    She must have expected the usual lame Kindergarten excuse "Headache Madam!!"
    We stood up
    She gave one look at our blood shot eyes!!

    Took a few steps back!!Shocked!!!

    The hunter becomes the hunted.[Evil Laugh]

    Teacher:"Oh!! Eye infection?"

    we both nodded our heads.That nod itself would bring 2 Oscars if it was in a movie.
    She must have thought, how lucky we both were to be blessed by momma nature with a timely infection to save our skin from the claws of Princi boy!

    Teacher:You wanna go home?

    I was prompted to ask..."Like...Forever?"

    Anyway, we saved our skin that day from the predator princi.[Short for Principal for n00bs]

    With that little stunt, we managed to buy ample finish off the 200 writing thing in the next 2 days.

    "If life gives you bull shit..dry it and sell it as solid fuel in an elegant packing" -Sorcerer on Life

    Thursday, September 2, 2010


    There is a bit of story behind why, I wrote this article.
    Let me rephrase it..
    There is a bit of story behind why, I was forced to write this article.
    One help less resource consuming XX chromosome needed to get the ,'Statement Of Purpose', for enrolling to a Certain University. The poor thing wanted to enroll for doing the masters soo badly and save the world from an communication outage.

    When given a chance to do something good! Well! I never think twice.My policy is Jump Straight in and paddle hard!.

    Ps:The "I" in this article is not really me, but the helpless XX chromosome. I am writing this article from HER perspective.
    At one band camp.. I was struck by lightning from a space ship.It opened my eyes and I learned  the fact that I could communicate with humans. They are the only animals who could communicate in different forms and by using different mediums.
    Old days humans wrote on toilet walls to communicate their 'hard' feelings to their loved ones and how much they missed their loved one when in loo.They also use signs to communicate like.."wide opened eyes" on a male watching a female means that he is very interested. Ever Since I was a child, I was interested in communication, though my love letter to my 3rd grade teacher was denied its due importance.

    I found telephones very enchanting and entertaining.Telecom thing has made it possible to talk to my lover without knowledge of my father who  sits with a sawed off gun facing the balcony.
    My phone has games and all but I don't play games, on it,but I check face book for my lover's naughty messages on my wall.Its also a great way to type lik ds &cnfs de rdr.It tks a whl 2 undrstnd wht u r rdng.

    My Bubba Aunt lives in Mexico in a telephone booth.She is several thousand of miles away from me.I give her missed call.At times she calls us and ask us to contact the Indian Embassy for rescuing her!
    But I always forger to call the Indian Embassy! Telecommunication has made it possible for us to get pestered by 'Aunts' living far away.Thanks to the airline company who delivered her luggage in gelf and her in Mexico.She reminds me of the saying "What goes in Mexico Stays in Mexico"

    Telecommunication is a magical thing like Maggi noodles.Technically a phone wire is through which all the talk things flow to your ears. Phone cord is a wonderful medium to strangle yourself with.Many murders committed  in the black and white era of telephones was blamed on telephone cords.The difference between today's phone and yesteryear phone is the 'Freedom of Movement'. Old phones didn't have silent mode unless you don't pay your bill.

    In Old old days, they used pigeons for communication.It was not very effective in sending message to fire-station or for an ambulance. Also pigeons get lot distracted during the mating season.According to my humble theory they are not very effective in sending messages but quiet good when it comes to pooping on parked cars.

    Before the advancement in technology communication was in its diaper stage and  was crawling on all fours like a drunk mallu during Onam season .Also very confusing.People even answered when some one farted.Now the ring-tones has changed it big time and the resulting confusion.Now people know when and how to answer the real calls.

    But at times I believe that 2 tin cans are way much better than certain telecom companies operating in India

    In my another humble theory, I  believe that Telecom thing was invented in India, in a small coconut rich place called Kerala! Some mallu staring at coconut for too long found out that its possible to communicate with two coconut shells connected by a string.He must have diversified his business into more lucrative lingerie market by converting the same idea into coconut shell bra .In my opinion this could be the first 2 in 1 invention ever . This could also be one classic example of 'diversifying' business and having a 'support'  system in place if a certain primary business model fails.
    Many companies have followed this strategy.Today following this footsteps, certain vehicle manufacturers has also diversified their business into selling Life Insurance.It's a win win situation.
    Technically, its called SBU [Strategic Business Units]

    During my growing up years in Dubai I was truly amazed by the level of camel technology used in everyday life there. The difference in the quality of life in my home country India and Dubai was beyond any comparison. India we use bulls they had humps  like camels.Certain camels have 2 humps on some models just like bucket seat in certain cars!

    But what grabbed my attention first was the humps on the camels then the advancement in Communication Technology which they had used as an ideal solution for companies in al oil and al gas(LOL),al pigeon al courier, al restaurants al delivery, al taxis, al factories, al real estate sites, al government departments, al airports, al freezones and al tourism agencies etc.

    When I was a kid, I used to run around the T.V just to figure out how people got into it.Only thing I could ever manage to climb into was washing machine.It's fun until the water starts splashing in.Thats when I scream and run out!

    I began reading books and magazines and everything I could lay my hands on to know more about it all,like technology..duh!! After so much reading still I was not able to find out how people got inside the television.

    I resolved that day that I’d one day master the technology and contribute to its further advancement but most importantly see to it that it is implemented in my country and help in
    improving the way of the life there too.

    When I returned to India I found that an amazing transformation had taken place, Pinki who used to be classmate,a cry baby who used to wear choli is now wearing jeans and T-Shirt. Ramu kakka has switched from Tea stall to Mobile phone Shop.Even fish man has a mobile phone.That too color phone with a camera.Just by his deep set, washed out yes I knew that he must be watching too much MMS on it.

    Yet somehow it lacked in several aspects, it was no where like what I had seen in Dubai.These people in India dont use AL before every word! also In India  they still travel on a tripod driven by petrol engine!

    I chose and studied a course that would aid my mission of developing the quality of life and bring MMS videos not just to the rich people (like you now), but also to people from the rural areas and the economically disadvantaged who doesn't even have access to FTV at night.errr..midnight actually which is aired at 10:00 PM Indian time.[dooFTvus]

    Because of lack of entertainment,these people from far far villages do chee chee things at night and populate..thus bringing about shortage of parking space in our country

    But the knowledge I gained from my Bachelors course is just no sufficient for me to screw up my mission and bring down the national grid therein arises the need for my being better equipped with "hands on" experience(Ps:I am still a Virgin) that I did not obtain here during the period of my course which I spent sleeping most of the time.

    As a member of the social service unit of my college I visited several villages neighboring my city, and I was shocked by their level of ignorance and superstitions.They didn't even know the meaning of LOL ,ROFL and WTF!
    They were superstitious and asked me to crock like a frog when a hen crossed my path.

    I began pondering over why so many parts of the country were still so backward and ministers from those places filthy and rich. I was laughing out so loud that I was given an electric shock just to come out of it.
    Many in here still did not have even the basic amenities essential for their well being like cheer leaders for local foot ball matches and festivals like Samba Fest and Mardigras and Cricket Stadiums for IPL.
    The rest of the world was developing at a phenomenal pace and making unbelievable inventions like Sauna Belt and Ab King pro and  we were still lagging so far behind Jennifer Lopez.

    Ps:She has nice arse!! Duh!!
    Many thanks to Dumbbell  for giving me this opportunity to write an S.O.P. I like to say that I have not added many content to it..I just edited it here and there. I have taken immense care to see that the idea behind the content remains the same.
    Sorcerer : you make me infiltrate the thinking barrier.
    Dumbbell:I always knew I could count on you!!

    DD, thanks for your valuable inputs on how to write an S.O.P, and always trying to encourage me to run into the same wall and not feel bad about it.
    Sorcerer:What do you say?
    DD:Sorcy!! Not all UNIV's appreciate real talent!
    Snehal of providing much needed technical inputs and telling me that SBU is actually Strategic Business Unit not Stupid Business Undertaking.

    Wednesday, September 1, 2010


    Yeah!! Surprise!! Aint it?
    I R Back!!
    August was kinda very busy month with Onam and lot of traveling!

    Wiseguy:Hey!! Let's cook chicken today!

    Genius:Yeah!! Hey!! classic doubt..Where exactly did the chicken come from?
    WIseguy:Classic answer!! from an egg.

    Genius:Classic question again!! Where exactly did the egg come from?

    Wiseguy:Once we get the chicken..I am gonna show you exactly where it came from!!


    "I can't sleep because my head is snoring"-Sorcerer on a sleepless night


    Sorcerer: ...and solar storm is gonna fry almost everything electric and any electron that breathes or that moves..


    Sorcerer:Don't know ...things could get worse, to sum it up, all communication will get affected..face-book wall could be replaced with toilet wall..where you leave message to your loved ones..just like in good old school and college days!


    Poornima: I think you're smart..

    - 23:10 -

    Sorcerer : is attacking spelled with 2 't' or one

    Sorcerer : like tt or t.I mean I don't really care!I just want that moron to get started on spelling and all.. I mean what difference is it gonna make anyway once we start to n00b him!

    Poornima : and you make it disappear poof* in a second.


    Genius: Is there any difference in the meaning between making love and making out!

    Sorcerer:Errr In making out..I guess someone's in a hurry.

    "Soon...I will have enough words to start a world war!!"-Sorcerer on Spanish Lessons!


    Buzz: dat's y i support communism

    Sorcerer : COMMUNISM?
    Sorcerer : in India..the word "commies"(As in communist) is derived from the word COMICS, I in Kerala!