Thursday, April 17, 2008


I come home in the evening, after my dinner. I was looking forward to finish off the Novel, 'The Arctic Event', then hit my cozy bed after. I took my spectacles to clean the glasses,

and.... Damn!! It slipped and fell. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall."

Butter fingers!!!

I was depressed, furious.

How can this, fiber glass (‘Plastic glass’ explanation for illiterate people) break?


Oh Yeah! I remember Mr.Murphy with his weird laws. Poor guy must have had suffered a lot, in the hands of fate. He must be very optimist. Made laws out of it all.

I would quote an appropriate one from his 'collection' for this 'situation' (wow! It rhymes..Iam an optimist)

"If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway."-Murphy


*** [ NEXT DAY ] ***

Early morning, 10:00 AM. I went to the eye clinic near my hood.

A guy was sitting at the reception. My heart sank.

A guy! At the reception!! Huh! How gay has the world become.

"If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then."- Murphy

I cursed myself for not being careful with my spectacles.

I went into the eye clinic.

* From here on the 'Receptionist Guy' would be called as 'REC_GUY'.

REC_GUY: What do you want?

Me: (What Am I hear for? Give me the best beer you got, you Moron!) Err...I broke my glasses, so would like to have, my eyes tested and get a new one.

REC_GUY: Your name, age, address , phone number please.

[With the remaining enthusiasm left in me, I gave the vital stats he needed about me.]

REC_GUY: You are no 9.

Me: Thank you!

Took a seat next to a guy who kept his one eye cupped with his hand.

[His gurrl friend must be from CIA.]

I would like to quote another from Murphy's for him:

"Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself."-Murphy

I gave him a smile, took out my mobile and started playin "Nature Park" on it.



Half an hour later a Maruti 800 came to a halt in front of the clinic. [ For Foreign Guyz: Maruti 800 is the name of a car found abundantly in India. Google it for its stunning pics.]

I was expectin an old man probably in his 50s, with gray hair and puffy cheeks ....

But I was wrong..Very wrong....a wrong which I would say, is very right.

Holy God!! Holy be thy kingdom.

A cute chic.Stage Entry.

The chic walked in to the clinic. She smiled to the REC_GUY

REC_GUY: Good Morning Doctor.

Doctor!...Did I hear it right? Doc? Is she the Doc? The Hot Chic Doc?

Lemme dedicate this Murphy's law to this situation

"If it seems too good to be true, it probably is."-Murphy



I was sittin there waitin for my rendezvous with the doc. The whole world around me was movin like a movie played in super slow speed.

REC_GUY: Patient No 1

Me:[ Playin Game]

REC_GUY: Patient No 2

Me:[ Playin Game]



REC_GUY: Patient No 8

Me: [Oh Boy!! oh Boy!! Iam next]



REC_GUY: Patient No 9

Me: [Moi Numbah!!! Oohh laa laaaa]

*** [ Doctor's Cabin ] ***

The whole place was Hi-tech. You won't expect this, from the look of it, from its faded outside.
Various machines,Gadgets.. and the Femme Fatale.

Me: Good morning madam. [ Hello! Docy! How you doin today?]

Hot_Doc_Chic: Good morning. Take this seat.

[ Pointing to a seat opposite to her.A laser machine sat in between us.]

Me: [In a very moderate voice].I broke my glasses yesterday. I need to test my eyes and get a new one.

Hot_Doc_Chi: Okay.How long you been wearin glasses.

Me: errrr..8 years.

Hot_Doc_Chic: Can you read those.Pointin to the chart.

Me: [Wow..All single digits,No complex numbers. Lucky Me!]




The Hot_Doc_Chic placed a 'Mother of all Spectacles' on my eyes

Hot_Doc_Chic: Now Can you read that



I felt like, being in Pre School and yeah with a beautiful chick, helping me with numbers.



The game of 'Hide and Seek' continued with variety of lenses and combinations of it.

[She moved another machine in front of me. Asked me to rest my chin on its cradle and look directly into the lens of that machine. Ooh!! The chic with heavy duty gadgets!! Mr.God...You are killin me!]

As I looked on through its lens..All I could see was a house in the distance.

Hot_Doc_Chic: Focus your eye on the house.Okay. Dont wink.

[Wink!.Holy cow! She could read my mind I guess!! khi khi...khi..khi..khi......]



After the test on both eyes. She was giving me this report, on what’s wrong with my eyes.

Hot_Doc_Chic: See..You have a problem with your cylinder....

and I was hearin...[ Hey dude! You got a yatch? Why don't me and you go to some
place an un-chartered remote island far...far... away. We can run around the beaches, swim in the blue waters all day, long. Do some TAN job...and in the evenin dance under the starlit sky with the weak light of the moon....]

..... and you have to include 2 carrots with your breakfast. Eat it raw.

I was promoted to say

"Eeee!Wassup doc?" Bugs Bunny Style

A smile crept across my face. I really wanted to say that to her at that point.

Ooh… I must have looked, liked a bunny to her. A wabbit. Those kind which unmarried, uncommitted chics love to hug, when they go to sleep.

Hot_Doc_Chic: Can you give me the spectacles. I would like to check the power of the glasses.

Me: Sure Madam.

As I handed over the remains of my spectacles to the Doc, my eyes scanned her well manicured fingers

and WTF? The ring…R.I.N.G with the hard-coded licensee name.



The commander inside was shouting..

"Soldier..Stand down soldier"

"Mission Abort..Abort...Abort...I repeat Abort mission."

"Committed Chick.Situation Hostile.Abort.."

"Soldier.Return to base immiedietly."

I replied to the commander inside me

"Aborting mission.Returning to base.ETA 30 mins."



Me: Thank you doctor.

And walked out with the prescription.

Mr Murphy. Please enlighten me on this with your all-time-right laws.

"All the good ones are already taken."- Murphy.


Sunday, April 6, 2008

< The Syndicate >

Standing at a corner of this street, near to a sleazy motel, I was enjoyin my cigar, watching the thick white fumes, dissolve in the air. It burned fast.

"Damn Wind".
I murmured.

I looked like someone, who had just gotten off his bike, after a long cruise on this winter night.
I was dressed in black- All leather.

The freezing weather had forced, people to stay indoors.The street was empty, except for these cheap mobster punks and tired eyed prostitutes, waiting for a trick.

I saw the red and blue of the police car enter the street. "Good guys looking for suspicious activity". I grinned.
The car coasted down the street. The lights painted the street, like the whole street was in flames.

I looked at my watch. It displayed 12:15 AM. She is late... as usual.
I was waitin for the 'German Beauty'. The wait seemed long. I took out another cigar from the packet.
A few hours back, I received the text of bad news.
"Things have leaked. Its brewin up in the syndicate. We want you here at 12:00 AM. We need to shape things up."
I expected this.The way it all went; I felt at times, some day... some day its gonna come crashing like a winter storm, raining ice pitchforks.

"Fuck! I've warned them of this"

With the syndicate, I've had my fare share of incredible, unpredictable mix of the good, bad, and the ugly.
The situation has flown into hostile territory. It steered itself into hopelessness.

Fuck!Fuck!...... I've told them before."

Being here, my life will be drawn to stagnation .... to insanity.
Here she comes, cruising down the street, Mercedes Benz- The German beauty. She stopped in front of the motel.
I entered the motel through a door, under the iron stairs on to my left.
Inside the motel, the whole world was dimly lit. Flickering lamps, faded colors, sad old thing.
I entered the room 245.

The room was filled with milky white light.
The boss was seated in a chair, with a glass of vodka. His henchmen were sitting on the chairs near the window.

Boss: "Quench your thirst. Then we can talk."- He said pointing to the liquor.
Me: "Thank you". - I don't want to be in my senses, when he starts talking nonsense and pretends.
It was good stuff, tasted good, going down.
Boss:" We know, we are fighting a losing battle. Aint it?"
I nodded my head in response.
Boss: "Where did we go wrong?"

As if he didn't know that. I know he likes to talk too much; but i preferred some action.
For me
it felt like, too much foreplay before the sex. Some ones gonna get numb all over, if we talk too much aint it?
Me:" year back. We had a situation, you were not reachable , that time when it happened. But we briefed you on the 'inbound factor', then."
Boss:"Yeah..I remember..I remember...What in your opinion should we do now? Give me the best fix."

AAAhhhhhh.... He wants the best fix. Is the vodka too strong on him? I am the 'Sorcerer'. Oh Christ...! I hate this role.
Me:" I've made a few negotiations. That should work. We still have some people on the inside, who are still loyal to us. They can be made to compromise, a bit for our benefit, till the book looks strong.
But all this ...all this will work, if and only if the leaks are taken care of. I leave that to you sir."
I can buy +20 days for the book.

Jeezus Christ!!... I know this is like juggling fireballs in the air. One false move, and you are a running...screaming... ball of fire.
Boss: " OKay! You do your job"

I felt the illusion of control.
Me: " About the leaks. I would appreciate if you could personally handle it. That way, I will have less issues to deal with."
I had strapped myself with enough problems. I need to be light for the manoeuvre.I expect him ` to do his bit.
Me:"I think ..I better take my leave of you. Gotta do a lot tomorrow. Good Bye"
The Boss nodded his head.

I stepped into the dim lit corridor. The path ahead was dark, muffled voices echoed in that alley.The alley of my life.
I was back in the street. I could walk a few meter down the street, wave a cab, take my ride home and close the door to the harsh winter behind.

My mind wandered back..
The Boss.. The false promise.
'Castling'. The escape in this game of war.
I hate it.
I will have the same nightmare, in full color. Soon.!!!

I was woken up today by the pleasing ring of my cellphone.

Aaaargghh! Did I keep the alarm?
Nope! I didnt.
I quickly grabbed my phone. Call from an unknown number.
I took the call.

Me: "Hello! Good morning."
Female Voice :" Hello! Swathi.... Can I get Swathi online please?"
Me: "Swathi! You must have dialed the wrong number."
Female Voice :" Errr... Sorry!.."
Me: "It's alright. Been a long time I've seen the sunrise. I should say,Thank you."
Female Voice :[Laughs] ..Bye.
Me: "Bye" [Disconnects the call ]

Swathi,.... Swathi... Aaaaaaaaaarrrrghhh! The name sounds familiar,similar..
Oh Gwad...Nooooooooo..Nooooooo................

Friday, April 4, 2008

< Broken Echo >

Sitting in the backseat of a moving car, I was on my way back home.
The city sped by, backward, a dead forest of concrete buildings, brick walls, dark rooftops.
I closed my eyes.I was on a continuous graveyard shift, badly needed a sleep.

The cabby switched on the radio. I very much liked this song once, the strings especially.
I remembered these words.
" The past has a way of sneaking up on us. You will hear broken echoes of it everywhere, like a bad replay. You will get mad at everyone for reminding you about it, even if its all in your head."
Ever experience that feeling where in you get all the symptoms of being sick but you're not really sick? I kinda feel that way right now....

Hotel California...streamed live...

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair.
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air.
Up ahead in the distance, I saw shimmering light.
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

My foot tapped on the floor.

Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine'
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the night man,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!'
I chorused the last two lines..

".... You can check-out any time you like...
..... But you can never leave....."

I eased in the backseat. Neon lights sped by, in the rear view mirror.
I could see the starlit sky through the window.
Some where, high up in the heavens, my constellation is 'Playing It Bogart'.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

< The Chamber >

From where I was sitting, I looked up..I saw the sky,deep blue and bright in the daylight. A few clouds rolled across it...drifting about lazy. I could feel the calmness,the fresh air,the breeze, the freedom.I want to be there.
This was no hallucination.
I felt scared.Something is not right.This is not me.I don't belong here.I don't fit into this frame.

Oh! Yeah!!..I was right.

There in the distant horizon,I saw dark clouds rolling in, like a thousand beasts, dark dirt flying off their hoofs. They charged towards me with their thunderous roars.

As they neared me, the beasts seems to loose their frenzy.
The clouds got brighter and brighter, I was expecting it to grow dark and electric.

The clouds above me was now glowing, bright silver, glowing like a thousand sun. I felt no pain. I was at ease. The bright light consumed me.It was cold, calm, and confusing.
I heard a chant followed by the bells from above the clouds. Thought the angels were havin their choir lessons.

The clouds parted above me-The gateway to heaven.

"Immediately I was in the Spirit; and behold, a throne was standing in heaven, and One
sitting on the throne. And He who was sitting was like a jasper stone and a sardius in
appearance; and there was a rainbow around the throne, like an emerald in appearance. Around
the throne were twenty-four thrones; and upon the thrones I saw twenty-four elders sitting,
clothed in white garments, and golden crowns on their heads.

Out from the throne come flashes of lightning and sounds and peals of thunder. And there were
seven lamps of fire burning before the throne, which are the seven Spirits of God; and before
the throne there was something like a sea of glass, like crystal; and in the center and
around the throne, four living creatures full of eyes in front and behind.The first creature
was like a lion, and the second creature like a calf, and the third creature had a face like
that of a man, and the fourth creature was like a flying eagle. And the four living
creatures, each one of them having six wings, are full of eyes around and within; and day and
night they do not cease to say,


And when the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to Him who sits on the throne,
to Him who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders will fall down before Him who sits
on the throne, and will worship Him who lives forever and ever, and will cast their crowns
before the throne, saying, “Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor
and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were

I've read this a thousand times before.The Revelation revealed in front of me.
A bit closer to heaven.

I felt something cold my right foot.The coldness wound around my leg.
I felt that cold crawl up
my leg.The cold and wet belly, of a black snake, eased its way up my leg, to my thighs,Its forked tongue slithering in and out.
I would appear, as a devil for its infra-red vision.
The reptile flared its hood and greeted me with its sarcastic hiss.


"Hello! If it was not for me; the world would have been so boring for your powerful intellect,
so thank me, thank my master."

I looked up at the heavens in response.

The snake hissed, raised its hood to my face. It's forked tongue kissing my lips. Kiss of death.

"If it was not for my master, you would never understand happiness, pain, hunger, anger, revenge, sadness, success, joy, sorrow, failure, the taste of tears, .... and huh! the fun of orgasm."

I nodded my head.
The death was talking sense. Why would I be blessed with a complex brain, if the world is so singular? If the universe is so predictable! There would be no fun in the Eden Garden.

"My master loves your complex brain.Your curiosity, your addiction for freedom, your blind belief in controlling anything and everything around you, your power in manipulating the womb you live in, your fragmented sentiments for your loved ones, the woman."

The chair I was sitting shook violently. An earthquake?
There was a deep rumble from deep beneath.
A crack appeared on the floor in front of me.The crack branched out like a forked lightning. Earth and water oozed out from it. Steam and smoke boiled out of it. The fire in the hell was burning right beneath us.
The reptile was long gone.

The air smelled of burning flesh. I heard cries,laughs and giggles.
The smell made me gag.

A thunderous voice called out "Asteroth, Beelzebub, Asmodeus, Bapholada, Lucifer, Loki, Satan, Cthulhu, Lilith, Della! Blood, to you all!"

The big daddy of all sins, making an appearance, in person.



He disappointed me with the show. I was expecting more color and action.
He was a bit dark, he was thin. All human except for his
vampire fangs and forked tongue.
I have seen humans, sinister than this.Pretty face, cute smile and charming words that could drug you, put you to sleep, away from reality, forcing you to live your lifetime in your wet-dreams.

The corruption of flesh. . .

He walked towards me.

"Hope I was not late for your show. I had many things to take care of. Never rested after the ' Red Apple Scandal."- Said the

He smiled- The smile of an innocent child.

"I expected a fanfare." I expressed my disappointment.

He didn't reply. He clapped his hands.
"Let the show begin." He announced.


I was sitting on a throne. I was strapped with leather belts across chest, thighs, legs and arms.
I felt the cold grip of electrodes placed on my legs.The cold electrode crown froze my brain.

I looked out through the protective glass, surrounding my chamber. Familiar faces, stood alongside with others, their eyes wide open and a grin on their faces, waiting eagerly to see me getting cooked.

Cannibalism, re-explained for the modern world.

A black veil was put over me.

I.... I ...... I could rise like a phoenix from my ashes.
I don't want revenge.I know that pain.I have lived it.. all alone.
I know how it felt like when the whole world points the finger at you.
Blame tastes bitter.I drank a whole lot of it with lies and treachery.I partied with it.
Back stab.... I would never do that.That's not my way.
It's no fun watching, when the people you love, make moves against you-The Greed.


I don't want revenge.
I was clueless.


Woke up today with a headache. It will never go away. Never....Never...Never..

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

.......Deja vu .......

Sitting in a crummy diner, looking out at the street. The street drenched in gloom.The faded figure of skyscrapers outlined the distant horizon.High up above, the clouds lit up in purple and orange.The heavens begun its foreplay for an intense rain,tonight.

The street dark... like the coffee I was drinkin.Ghostly figures moved about the street, hurrying.
I was not in a hurry...I had all the time in the world.

This was not me a few months back.I was kinda like the 'White Rabbit' in Alice In Wonderland. Oohh!!..That was no wonderland for me.
Shakespeare was right on his famous quote about 'Life and Drama'.
I could have done my part better....... I could have done my past better........
A life for me ..... Drama for others.
A pretty face walked into the restaurant. It's her eyes, that had all my attention. She was havin an animated conversation over her cell-phone.
Where was I?
I sipped my coffee, it tasted bitter and cold.
... De javu .... I didn't like it,But I had to welcome it.

Some one familiar stepped into the restaurant. He walked towards the table, I was dining on.


Me: This table is already taken.

Stanger: Oh! Thank you for the warm welcome on this cold night.
[He sat on a chair,right in front of me.]

Me: So.Whut you want? Start an intellectual debate? I would love to feel the heated blood, runnin through my veins after I had done with you.I would appreciate that on such a night.

Stranger : You thought nuthin can get to you?
You thought you could run away?
You thought I wouldn't find you again?

Me: One question at a time...list boy.

Stranger: You are a fugitive. You can't run away. How far will you go, before I sneak up on you again?

Me: Aaahh!! I should have ended you up.

Stranger: Guilty.Are you?

Me: Yeah! Guilty cuz I fuckin let you live.

Stranger: So much hate! You hate your life.Don't you?

Me: Nope! I dont hate my life. I hate you .You son of a -!
You make me feel, like getting trapped in a maze, err.... something like the grid in a Pacman Game;Not exactly but more like it.And you chasin me around. But I could be around a corner, waitin to bite off your jugular vein.How lucky I would be, if I could fill the maze, with your green blood, swim and jump over the maze to my freedom.
You are lucky! My lady luck has not returned from her vacation.

Stranger: You think you can get out of this maze of mess?
[Laughs...] You are drowning, with a lead weight attached to you ....pulled down to the cold labyrinth .There is no escape.
Get ready to welcome the cold days in hell.

Me: Fuck you! If I had a gun with me.I would have splattered your pathetic brain on the wall, givin those white tiles an added touch, with your blood and gray matter.
Listen, Candy Man, I hadn't invited the trouble into my life just the way i didnt invite you here.Trouble had come tome to me.I was pushed over the edge into a no man's land. I had no choice but to take whats thrown my way.
"If the only choice you got to do is the *wrong* thing; then its not really the wrong thing.It's more like fate."

Stranger: Yes,you are right.You didn't invite trouble.Trouble needs no invitation, just like me.
But we both bring along lots of surprises, if you like it or not.
Strange..I saw you reading the article on 'Cascading effect' the other day.You can understand it much better if I put it this way.
A series of small mistakes and then the beeg Kaboom. All like a ,...big-bang.A big bang which opens up a whole new universe for you.
See....[Grins ] Ive put that 36 page article into mere oneliner for you.

Me:Wow!! Damn It!! That was no Goddamn mistake! You know it, I know it.It was kinda like a missed take!! ha ha!! You talk nice anyway,I am out of words.I better hurry now.Do wanna miss this firework.

Stranger: Walking away. Aint ya? Funny you are, still!

Me: I don't. I am not. There is no happy endings any way.

Stranger: By the way..the time machine is out of order,even so, you are fresh out of cash, for a ride back to the past and correct it.

Me: History has a nasty way of repeatin and I prefer to take the blue pill next time, Mr.Morpheus. And...about the past. Some things are better left untouched. I don't wanna wake up the dead. Perhaps ,you could do me a favour by joining them.You scared?

Stranger: If I die.... You die.... There is no fun with out you.But then again..I will have to leave you, Let you rot and eat away by Bone -Eating Worms.
Iam Incognito.

[ Man never will win the ultimate gamble.Its game over for you.... and a game begins some where else ]

I didn't answer him.I walked out into the rain, to the cold street.I could feel the accusing stare of the stranger behind me.
The rain drops felt like needle pricks on my skin. I didn't feel the pain. Instead it was the coldness. It was soothing. The pain was in the heart. Nothing could ease that pain.

All of a sudden, the street was drenched in darkness.Street lights went out.I had lived this many times;felt like the nightmare I used to have, stumbling in the darkness, to find a way out through the worm holes.
People hurried about the street as if haunted.Cold wind tore at my face lashing rain with it. I welcomed the coldness.It was complimenting with my innerself. I was engulfed in it.I belonged there.I was happy.I loved it.

Lightning lit up the street, in its brilliant flashes of purple and blue.I was not scared, I know fate would never give up on me that easy.I was confident.

Thuder clapped at a distance.
I had seen this street in its different colors, in the day, under the star lit sky.
Now I was trying to see how the street looked like, in this light and sound show,though the lightning froze the time only for a fraction of a second. The trees and buildings looked like cruel monsters.

This is no Hell hole I am in. Hell hole was where I was.I reigned there for a brief time.Reasoned with the master himself.It was all fun.....
De Javu....

My clothes sticked to my skin. I coasted down the street, holding hands with my diabolic thoughts, real slow.I didn't have a worry in the world.